We're Curing Cyclospara, Booting A-Holes & Reaching Our Tropical Dreams 🌴 | Sunburnt Podcast Ep. 70

**Thomas** (00:00:00:01 - 00:00:05:03): I wonder if the margarita is the solve to this. This parasite. **Chip** (00:00:05:07 - 00:00:07:06): Might have just solved a crisis. **Thomas** (00:00:07:07 - 00:00:10:17): Rich people are getting kicked out of clubs for being jerks. **Chip** (00:00:10:18 - 00:00:14:07): This might be my favorite story that we have ever. **Thomas** (00:00:14:07 - 00:00:19:06): Covered because nobody's swimming in this beach. It's just like jagged volcanic rock. **Chip** (00:00:19:10 - 00:00:23:13): I can't believe 135 days ship chantries. Thanksgiving in Paradise. **Thomas** (00:00:23:14 - 00:00:35:23): It's wild. I'm so excited. What up? Burnt ones. This is the sunburn podcast, where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. To my right, as always. You know, I'm from Netflix on the series tires and his amazing stand of special Move Closer. It's Chip Chantry. **Chip** (00:00:35:23 - 00:00:47:03): And over here to my left is Mr. Thomas O'Brien, Emmy Award winning producer, writer, and my pal. Grab a float, put on your earphones and drift away. Grab a by tie. **Thomas** (00:00:47:04 - 00:00:52:09): Because it's great to be in the tropics with your boys. **Chip** (00:00:52:11 - 00:01:08:09): The only reason I'm wearing this makeup is to cover up the scratches and the bruises. That's all it is. And trust me, I took plenty of photos. So when he hears from my lawyers, Jon Bon Jovi is going to be very sorry he ever stepped foot inside that Cheesecake Factory. **Thomas** (00:01:08:10 - 00:01:11:03): Oh, what a chip to chip. We've already started, but. **Chip** (00:01:11:04 - 00:01:12:11): Oh, hey. **Thomas** (00:01:12:13 - 00:01:21:20): What up, Burt ones. This is the Sunbird podcast, where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. Chip. The episode is too hot. We just got to get into the rundown, Bud. **Chip** (00:01:21:22 - 00:01:23:05): Scorcher. Let's do it. **Thomas** (00:01:23:05 - 00:01:32:22): The world's most exclusive private clubs have adopted a new no a holes, b holes. And unfortunately for you, chip a no see holes policy. **Chip** (00:01:33:01 - 00:01:36:08): Looks like I'm going to have to go back to Busch Gardens this year. **Thomas** (00:01:36:10 - 00:01:39:13): Polly Margaret Burrows are violating the sanctity of Love Island. **Chip** (00:01:39:13 - 00:01:41:12): If they can do it, we can do it. **Thomas** (00:01:41:13 - 00:01:51:23): Yeah, there's no rules anymore. And island so small. It's always blaming the tropical water around it for being too cold is the hottest Caribbean island for tourist growth. **Chip** (00:01:52:00 - 00:01:55:02): It's not Love Island, it's like island. **Thomas** (00:01:55:04 - 00:02:00:23): Almost drinking. Luxury wellness retreats are finding true serenity outside of the spa. **Chip** (00:02:01:00 - 00:02:04:16): It's right around the corner by the dumpster. His name is Jeffrey. **Thomas** (00:02:04:17 - 00:02:07:10): Ali G got caught trying to sell grass at Wimbledon. **Chip** (00:02:07:11 - 00:02:09:20): The field is made of grass. It's fine. **Thomas** (00:02:09:20 - 00:02:14:00): And we take a look at the top five beaches on the Big island of Hawaii. **Chip** (00:02:14:00 - 00:02:15:15): Chip boom. Let's do it. **Thomas** (00:02:15:16 - 00:02:39:15): Plus, we'll stop by the hypochondriac corner, celebrate the man Jimmy Buffett, with some fresh Buffett facts, crack open the good book for some world records and the Trouble in Paradise hotline is open. Call us with your most horrifying vacation story at (310) 845-6038. And with that chip, it's time to get this sunburnt party kicked off right with an old fashioned slather. Getting that Hawaiian Tropic slopped all over us. Jeff, would you say we're slopping it? **Chip** (00:02:46:05 - 00:02:57:14): We are slopping it. Slathering it. If we were a banana cream pie, the Three Stooges would be throwing us against the wall right as we speak. **Thomas** (00:02:57:15 - 00:03:03:17): If we were a classic cafeteria elementary school cafeteria dish, we'd be Joe's baby. **Chip** (00:03:03:18 - 00:03:05:20): We would be slap. **Thomas** (00:03:05:20 - 00:03:17:05): A sloppy Joes. All right, this is the sunburn podcast, where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. If you think those two things should go together. Stay tuned. Front desk. **Chip** (00:03:17:05 - 00:03:28:06): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. Someone stole my watch and placed it inside the third floor vending machine. It's hanging on G5 now. You better return my watch to me immediately or I will call the police. **Thomas** (00:03:28:06 - 00:03:33:02): Mr. Chantry, did you get your watch stuck again when you were trying to reach for the Skittles? **Chip** (00:03:33:04 - 00:03:37:16): I'll have you know that they were peanut M&Ms. Chip Thomas, buddy. **Thomas** (00:03:37:21 - 00:03:49:18): Episode 70 of the Sunbird podcast. Can you believe it's 70 hours of sun burnt delights? Wait for you on our YouTube and wherever you download podcasts. **Chip** (00:03:49:18 - 00:03:51:06): That's 70 metric hours. **Thomas** (00:03:51:06 - 00:03:55:13): That's a lot. Don't even get me started on how many C hours it is. **Chip** (00:03:55:14 - 00:03:57:08): It's it's a lot. Yep. **Thomas** (00:03:57:10 - 00:04:03:01): It's a lot. Well, Chip, we have some breaking news today, buddy. **Chip** (00:04:03:03 - 00:04:04:13): Break it off. **Thomas** (00:04:04:15 - 00:04:14:20): We are 135 days away from the next chip. Chantries. Thanksgiving in Paradise at the Blue Note. Hawaii. We're coming back again, baby. **Chip** (00:04:14:21 - 00:04:26:00): We did last Thanksgiving in Waikiki. We are doing it again. Cheap transfers. Thanksgiving Paradise. Thursday, November 26th. Thanksgiving night. **Thomas** (00:04:26:01 - 00:04:28:07): Thanksgiving, buddy, we got the big day. **Chip** (00:04:28:07 - 00:04:29:06): I am so excited. **Thomas** (00:04:29:06 - 00:04:36:02): Come on out with us if you guys want to have a Thanksgiving to remember, come out to Hawaii, come out to Waikiki. **Chip** (00:04:36:03 - 00:04:56:19): Get away from the cold, the hustle and bustle. Your crazy aunts come with us. Hang out for a couple days in Hawaii. Come see a comedy show. It's. I can't believe I'm like, here's the thing, Thomas. I was advertising it with you last year. Not. I was doing it blindly, though now I now I've been I've done the show. I've been to Hawaii. It's like there's just just like it's like exponential excitement on my end because it's like I'm not going there. I'm coming back. And yeah, I just had such a blast and I can't wait to do it again. **Thomas** (00:05:10:00 - 00:05:21:11): There was also a little fear last year we didn't know if it was going to work out. We didn't know if it was going to make sense. Like our big goal last year was to do it and have it be successful enough that it would make sense to do it again. **Chip** (00:05:21:12 - 00:05:23:14): And yeah, I was beside myself. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:05:23:15 - 00:05:35:17): Yeah, we did it. We had the best time ever. We we hit every metric we needed to hit. And now this year we're just trying to make it bigger and better. And this year you can come do a little Thanksgiving dinner with us. **Chip** (00:05:35:17 - 00:05:40:12): Literally dinner in a show. Like, why not just have a little, maybe a turkey sandwich or something like that, I don't know. **Thomas** (00:05:40:13 - 00:05:59:06): The Blue Note has full dining, so like, doors open like an hour and a half before the show, and you just come in your ticket comes with with a seat with a table, and you'll have a server you can order, like they're going to have some Thanksgiving items. They said they're going to have some Thanksgiving themed beverages. Also have my ties. **Chip** (00:05:59:08 - 00:06:00:00): Our ties. **Thomas** (00:06:00:00 - 00:06:20:06): But come on out the shows at 630. Perfect right now, so it's the perfect time to come get a little get a little dinner. You don't have to get a reservation. And Waikiki on Thanksgiving Day, it's already set. And then you just roll right into chips, a chips hour of of stand up comedy, man. Yeah, it's going to be unbelievable. And we're going to build on last year, right? Yeah, I think we haven't talked about it, but I think we're still probably going to be turkey trotting the morning before the show. **Chip** (00:06:29:03 - 00:06:31:11): I would love to. I would love to. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:06:31:12 - 00:06:38:05): Let's go ahead it. We've got excursion days. We're hanging out at the beach just doing some floats. **Chip** (00:06:38:06 - 00:06:50:02): Chip I was down in Lake Charles, Virginia, on the Chesapeake. I saw somebody with a float like the same brand, or at least the same form as it. And I got so excited because I saw that little float. **Thomas** (00:06:50:03 - 00:06:55:22): We literally shoot the intro or shot the intro to this show. **Chip** (00:06:56:00 - 00:06:56:23): On floats. **Thomas** (00:06:57:00 - 00:07:02:03): Floating in in Waikiki, right there with Diamond Head in the background. **Chip** (00:07:02:04 - 00:07:02:14): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:07:02:19 - 00:07:17:10): I can just feel it, man. I'm so excited about it. Yeah, and seriously, think about it. You can choose to do whatever you do every year for Thanksgiving again. Yep. Or you can come out to Waikiki and hang out with the burnt ones. Man. **Chip** (00:07:17:11 - 00:07:25:20): Make it a special occasion. Like, just get away, bring some friends, bring the fam, whatever. Yeah. And then, you know, come see a show, dude. **Thomas** (00:07:25:20 - 00:07:31:02): I mean, I'm, I'm I'm freaking locked in 135 days, buddy. **Chip** (00:07:31:03 - 00:07:34:21): Have that conversation at dinner tonight. Yeah. Decide that you're going. **Thomas** (00:07:34:21 - 00:07:49:01): To go. You can fire it off. Like, do you want to freeze your bees off this Thanksgiving, or do you want to be in 78 degree water? Yeah. This November, floating right off the shore of Waikiki with this baby. **Chip** (00:07:49:02 - 00:07:49:17): Make it happen. **Thomas** (00:07:49:17 - 00:07:53:08): Cabin with the burnt ones, with the sunburnt boys. We're going to be out there, baby. **Chip** (00:07:53:08 - 00:07:55:21): 135 days. Let's make it happen. **Thomas** (00:07:55:22 - 00:08:01:02): Let's make it happen. So fired up though, it's going to be awesome. Now it's on to sunburnt news. **Chip** (00:08:01:08 - 00:08:02:08): Sunburn news. **Thomas** (00:08:02:09 - 00:08:07:14): First story. Rich people are getting kicked out of clubs for being jerks. Chip. **Chip** (00:08:07:15 - 00:08:11:12): This might be my favorite story that we've ever covered. **Thomas** (00:08:11:13 - 00:08:29:01): It's about time. And I think it is just every movie we ever saw. There was like a rich jerk, like in the 80s, right? And they could get away with murder because they were rich. But even at the places they're supposed to be safe havens for their behavior, because all they cash to spend that ain't allowed no more. **Chip** (00:08:29:03 - 00:08:29:15): Good. **Thomas** (00:08:29:16 - 00:08:49:07): So Vanity Fair is reporting that the world's most exclusive private clubs are now enforcing strict no A-hole policies against wealthy members and guests. Yeah, it's like a hiring practice, right? A lot of companies decided even if you're super talented, we're not going to take a holes because you ruin the morale of everybody here. **Chip** (00:08:49:08 - 00:08:49:15): Yeah, of. **Thomas** (00:08:49:15 - 00:08:55:08): Course, one stinky apple spoils the bunch. And these nice. But they're just over. **Chip** (00:08:55:08 - 00:08:56:14): It as they should be. **Thomas** (00:08:56:14 - 00:09:19:21): The Bergen stock is this Swiss private club and has one of the nicest hotels in the world. Has been doing this for over a decade. Good for them. If people are misbehaving. They had a manager there. There's just like kicking people out. But now it's starting to spread around because the the membership in these clubs have skyrocketed right, since the pandemic. Like it really is something that started coming on. I don't know why, but it became much more popular. But as that membership was exploding, the staff started quitting in record numbers. They just like Covid was the breaking point. They're like, I'm just not putting up with this anymore. I'm going to do something different. They were leaving the industry completely, and a lot of these clubs had to, like, reconcile that. **Chip** (00:09:43:16 - 00:10:06:19): Yeah, they're burning these people out just by being jerks. Yeah. So it's like, let's cut out the middleman. And it just it just keeps people honest. Like that's what needs to happen. Like that is why. And like I, I, I am wholly in support of this as a nation, as a world, as a society. Yeah, probably the number one reason I do not attend the movies that often anymore. I love the movies. Yeah, it's because other people talk. We're in a crowd, we're in a shared experience, and you're ruining it. You're putting yourself above everyone else. Yeah. If they can just start plucking those people and then scaring the rest of everybody else that they're going to get kicked out, the world would be a much better place. **Thomas** (00:10:24:20 - 00:10:46:19): Yeah. Another part of this is a revelation to me that even before this started happening, I guess guests have pretty extensive files at these private clubs of all their misdeeds throughout the years. Yes. You don't think about it. But like, if you belong to one of these things and you've been like a jerk to a server. **Chip** (00:10:46:22 - 00:10:48:00): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:10:48:02 - 00:11:01:20): You think you were, you know, a big guy you, like, stomped on. You know, this person that has no recourse and, you know, you took out your bad day, a bad business deal on this person you don't care very much about. That's in a file somewhere, dude. **Chip** (00:11:01:21 - 00:11:18:04): Good, good. Like I, I am not for like over surveilling people like from the government and you know, secret files and that type of thing. But when it comes to social norms and human decency, I'm all for it. **Thomas** (00:11:18:05 - 00:11:19:02): Yeah, dad. **Chip** (00:11:19:03 - 00:11:41:02): Living in the city, like where I live, everybody's. And you know this, too. Like we're all pushed together. So everybody kind of knows everybody's business. Even if you don't know, there are a lot of people's names on my block that I don't know, but I know a lot about them. It's like a rear window situation, you know, Hitchcock, where it's just like you see their comings and goings. You can see that they're being a jerk to their wife. You can see that they're parking their car where they're not supposed to block people, whatever it is. And we keep tabs on it, and people call each other out. And I'm like, good boom. **Thomas** (00:11:53:11 - 00:12:17:20): People know things, baby. People know things. And it just keeps us like back to back to zero. It keeps us grounded. But here's my question for you, Chip. We're pretty nice guys. Came up working class. Yes. I've spent time in the service industry. Yes. But sometimes you are having a bad day. Have you ever acted in a way you were not pleased with towards a member of the service community? **Chip** (00:12:17:20 - 00:12:33:15): Oh, I'm sure like, yeah, there are times where looking like probably back, you know, have too much to drink. When I was in my, like, not intentionally, but maybe was just, you know, so a lot to handle, you know what. **Thomas** (00:12:33:15 - 00:12:34:07): I mean? **Chip** (00:12:34:09 - 00:12:42:08): But, like, I'm sure there's been some, but, like, I really try to be as a respectful as I as I can. Do, you know what I mean? **Thomas** (00:12:42:08 - 00:12:44:06): Yeah, but, like, everybody has a bad day. **Chip** (00:12:44:07 - 00:12:50:22): Yeah, you have a bad day here. So if it's like one thing you can't. But it's like if there's if there is a history of. **Thomas** (00:12:50:22 - 00:12:52:14): It a demonstrated pattern. **Chip** (00:12:52:15 - 00:12:53:20): Yeah. Absolutely. **Thomas** (00:12:53:21 - 00:13:00:18): So no more a holes B holes. And like we said in the opening unfortunately no more c holes. **Chip** (00:13:00:18 - 00:13:02:09): But plenty of k holes. **Thomas** (00:13:02:09 - 00:13:05:08): Like Ron Burgundy would say. Let's let's keep it classy. **Chip** (00:13:05:08 - 00:13:15:13): Here's what I'm excited for. Yeah. Video evidence on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube of these rich jerks getting kicked out of these resorts. **Thomas** (00:13:15:14 - 00:13:25:21): Oh, yeah, because that's the humiliating thing. You're big. Powerful. My money gives me status, it gives me stage, and then you just get walked out. Just walked out of the private. **Chip** (00:13:25:21 - 00:13:44:06): Club dog walked out of this place that you just spent a bunch of money on. It's almost like at the beginning of Royal Tenenbaums, when Royal himself gets kicked out of the the building that he lived in for all those years because he ran out of money and they just relished it so much. And I'm looking forward to much more of that. **Thomas** (00:13:44:09 - 00:13:47:06): Oh yeah, I post them videos. **Chip** (00:13:47:07 - 00:13:48:07): Yeah, please. **Thomas** (00:13:48:07 - 00:13:58:03): Private club workers get get them up there. It's like the guy who threw a martini in your face last year. You could be giving him the perp walk this year. You know. **Chip** (00:13:58:05 - 00:14:12:23): God, it's so refreshing. I would go, okay, okay, here's what we do. Here's the idea. All right. I would pay premium. As we know. We would pay premiums for certain services, accommodations at hotels. **Thomas** (00:14:12:23 - 00:14:15:05): We're premium members of the travel community. **Chip** (00:14:15:05 - 00:14:42:21): I would pay a premium rate for a night if I knew ahead of time where and when one of these guys is getting kicked out. So they're like, hey, Mr. Chantry, like, I get I got an email or something like that, like, hey, if you're available the weekend of August 22nd, we have a couple who are just raging holes. Come stay with us for the weekend. We're pretty sure we're kicking them out that Saturday morning. I'm there. I will pay extra to be there to watch it. **Thomas** (00:14:51:04 - 00:14:54:19): Oh yeah, I think we would call them exorcisms. **Chip** (00:14:54:23 - 00:14:56:05): Yes, yes. **Thomas** (00:14:56:05 - 00:15:03:06): You get the exorcism package where you get to see one of these things happen. What's the, like, slightest offense you think people should be kicked out for? **Chip** (00:15:03:06 - 00:15:22:06): I think if anybody. Okay. The slightest thing is just anything that's like, Do you know who I am? Do you know who my dad is? Right? Like, that's my friend Greg Gethard. And I used to say that's like it was one of his favorite lines is, do you know who my dad is? He would just say that to people, like, obviously sarcastically. Because it's like that. That means nothing. Do you know what I mean? Because he he had this kid growing up in his town that would, like, literally say that. And I think so it's just like or like, you know, it's like I make more money in a day than you do all year. Like you say that to a certain one of those. One of those, you're out. **Thomas** (00:15:40:18 - 00:15:50:09): Yeah. Yeah, I like that. I think that's a nice line in the sand to draw. I think that's also like if people know that's the rules. Yeah. They just won't do it. **Chip** (00:15:50:10 - 00:15:55:13): Right. Exactly. All you have to do is throw one guy out and that's it. You know. **Thomas** (00:15:55:15 - 00:15:57:17): Yeah. I have two things in my mind. **Chip** (00:15:57:18 - 00:15:58:01): Okay. **Thomas** (00:15:58:01 - 00:16:30:11): Go ahead. One is it's a pattern. Right? Okay. Anybody who obviously gets enjoyment from sending food back. Yes. If there is a history of ordering things and sending it back, I would say with an over 50% ratio of accepted to send back over the course of any three day period. They're out. And also anybody who plays their own music sans headphones in a public place. Dude, that is if you do that you're gone. **Chip** (00:16:33:21 - 00:16:35:14): I, I love it. **Thomas** (00:16:35:14 - 00:16:46:22): Yes you're gone baby I will make allowances for outdoor recreation areas where there's not already music being played. **Chip** (00:16:46:23 - 00:16:47:19): Yeah, I can see that. **Thomas** (00:16:47:19 - 00:16:56:09): If you bring out your your ghetto blaster to the pool and you're just trying to get a party going a little bit, yeah, there might be some room for that depending on what kind of cool it is. **Chip** (00:16:56:10 - 00:17:01:02): Yes. Yeah. Especially if everybody's into it and there's like a big group I could I could see that. Yes. **Thomas** (00:17:01:03 - 00:17:10:05): Yeah. But if you're a bio boombox to the gym and are playing it louder than whatever they're pumping in there. **Chip** (00:17:10:06 - 00:17:11:12): Nope. No thank you. **Thomas** (00:17:11:13 - 00:17:16:05): You're gone. You're getting exercised. **Chip** (00:17:16:07 - 00:17:17:16): Exercised. **Thomas** (00:17:17:18 - 00:17:20:13): People will get a call and there will be an exorcism. **Chip** (00:17:20:13 - 00:17:21:11): I love it. **Thomas** (00:17:21:12 - 00:17:44:12): Next story. Chip. Do it, do it. This one blows my mind. It is such a 2026 thing that's happening right now. People bet over $77.3 million on Kalsi alone on this year's Love Island USA. And it's making people wonder did the polymer mob fix Love Island this year? **Chip** (00:17:44:14 - 00:17:56:04): Of course it did. There is no doubt in my mind. First of all, Corky, knock it off. You sound like a health food cereal that I don't that I don't want to listen, that I don't eat. **Thomas** (00:17:56:06 - 00:17:57:02): Yeah. **Chip** (00:17:57:04 - 00:18:04:05): Oh, what do we have? Do we have anything for breakfast? Well, there's there's box of cash in there like. No, no, I'll just go and get a donut. Just be done with it. **Thomas** (00:18:04:08 - 00:18:14:04): Yeah, yeah. Big time dude. Yeah. Vanity fair is reporting that Love Island USA is finale win for Trinity and Bryce. You know Trinity Bryce. **Chip** (00:18:14:05 - 00:18:16:00): Come on. Who doesn't? **Thomas** (00:18:16:02 - 00:18:35:16): Isn't that being scrutinized? Not from fans, but from Wall Street, dude. Love Island is a show that's decided by the viewers voting, and I don't know it like, I think it used to be text messages. I don't know if there's other ways of doing it now, but very easy to manipulate with all the AI tools and things that are available. If you're betting millions of dollars, very easy to probably manipulate that system. **Chip** (00:18:40:01 - 00:18:56:12): Plus, I mean, the tech geniuses working at Love Island. I don't know much. I can barely, you know, program VCR, but I know I bitch, I could get around, you know, Tristan at Love Island and get a few extra votes. **Thomas** (00:18:56:12 - 00:19:03:13): In when there's that much money to be one and or at risk. Yep. People start doing wacky things, don't they? **Chip** (00:19:03:14 - 00:19:04:08): Of course they do. **Thomas** (00:19:04:09 - 00:19:11:08): Yeah. And it's so weird. This is spreading to reality TV. Something that like, has there's no skill involved here. **Chip** (00:19:11:10 - 00:19:24:07): Okay. Okay. Wait wait wait wait wait. Are you telling me that the cast of Love Island are not extremely brilliant, talented people? Thomas, I think. Is that what you just literally just went on record saying? **Thomas** (00:19:24:09 - 00:19:26:04): No, no, I'm saying that. **Chip** (00:19:26:09 - 00:19:39:09): That they are not the backbone of America. The great minds. The Algonquin Round Table of 2026, the cast of Love Island. Thomas. How dare you, sir? **Thomas** (00:19:39:10 - 00:19:50:15): I take it back. There's obviously some skillful players. They've literally taken things. I have a sunny day, right? A bathing suit? **Chip** (00:19:50:17 - 00:19:51:15): Yes. **Thomas** (00:19:51:17 - 00:19:54:02): And made careers out of it. **Chip** (00:19:54:03 - 00:19:55:23): It's true. That is true. **Thomas** (00:19:56:01 - 00:20:05:14): And I think, you know, at the end of the day, somebody might outmaneuver other people. Somebody might be doing something we don't even know about to endear themselves to the greater public. **Chip** (00:20:05:19 - 00:20:07:13): Sure. A little Johnny fair play. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:20:07:14 - 00:20:25:08): Yeah. So so maybe maybe there is. But it's like it's not a sport with defined rules in a time period. It's like it's something. It's a popularity contest. Yeah. And they have ways of winning it. But you can fake it. If the only metric is voters from an unregistered body of people. **Chip** (00:20:25:10 - 00:20:26:00): Yes. **Thomas** (00:20:26:01 - 00:20:31:18): Yeah. When that much money is at stake, like wild things can happen. And it's happening on Love Island, potentially. **Chip** (00:20:31:20 - 00:20:33:18): I'm here for it. **Thomas** (00:20:33:20 - 00:20:53:07): I guess so. And apparently the poly markets had figured out basically who was going to win. Like a month before it happened. Right. So there is speculation that it was kind of fixed, set up and manipulated to get a specific result that would make somebody very rich. **Chip** (00:20:53:11 - 00:21:08:07): I like how we are in the midst of the, I want to say, semifinals, basically of FIFA's World Cup, the arguably largest sporting event in in sports worldwide. **Thomas** (00:21:08:07 - 00:21:08:21): Yeah. **Chip** (00:21:08:23 - 00:21:18:17): And the bigger story is that people are betting on Love Island. Do you know what I mean? Like it is. That's the most 2026 thing that that is happening right now. **Thomas** (00:21:18:18 - 00:21:28:08): It is. But I will say it's only a bigger story. On the number one tropical travel comedy podcast on the planet. **Chip** (00:21:28:09 - 00:21:30:09): That is true. That is true. Yes. **Thomas** (00:21:30:10 - 00:21:33:23): Yeah. Correct. Ever since Curacao got kicked out, we don't got a lot of stakes. **Chip** (00:21:34:05 - 00:21:46:22): Yeah. No stake. Yeah. And I will say in their. In their defense, the Casablanca Island has also not been using their hands this summer. So I think it's very nice. **Thomas** (00:21:47:00 - 00:21:55:10): It is very nice a very toned down season. Yeah. Chip gun to your head. **Chip** (00:21:55:12 - 00:22:00:22): Oh, well. I'm sorry. Oh, you said gun to your head. I thought. **Thomas** (00:22:00:23 - 00:22:08:10): Metaphorical gun to your head. Oh, you've got to make a choice. Love Island USA or Love Island UK? What are you picking. **Chip** (00:22:08:12 - 00:22:09:18): UK all day? **Thomas** (00:22:10:00 - 00:22:10:22): I think that's right. **Chip** (00:22:10:23 - 00:22:15:07): I think that's because it's shorter seasons and they'll do a Christmas special probably. **Thomas** (00:22:15:08 - 00:22:18:21): You say that. I do know for a fact they did do a Christmas special once. **Chip** (00:22:18:21 - 00:22:20:23): The Brits love their Christmas episodes. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:22:21:00 - 00:22:36:10): They really do. Why don't we have more of those? I think a nice Christmas episode. I guess when you make six episode seasons or something, it's kind of tough to just leave. Number six, hang in there to play it at Christmas, regardless of whenever your show came out. **Chip** (00:22:36:10 - 00:22:49:11): I do like the shorter seasons sometimes. Like like, let's get and get out. Boom. I think that's what Love Island should do. Boom. Everybody should be pregnant by the middle of the pilot. **Thomas** (00:22:49:13 - 00:23:06:07): It's a Tracy Morgan Love Island. That's how it goes down, right? Yes. Gonna get this thing pregnant. Pregnant. All right. Next story. Chip. The Caribbean island you've never heard of. Just posted 22% growth. Antigua was getting a little butthurt. **Chip** (00:23:06:08 - 00:23:07:04): Yes they are. **Thomas** (00:23:07:07 - 00:23:27:18): Travel Week News is reporting that overseas demand to the Caribbean grew by only 1% year over year. This this year. That is down from 21% and 8% gains in the two years beforehand. The biggest winner is an island that has the same name as both girls you dated in high school, Chip. **Chip** (00:23:27:19 - 00:23:32:06): That would be Dominica. Oh, Dominika. **Thomas** (00:23:32:07 - 00:23:33:15): Yeah. The Dominicans. **Chip** (00:23:33:16 - 00:23:34:10): Yes, yes. **Thomas** (00:23:34:10 - 00:23:50:18): That's right. They also have a lot in common with the island to their the life of the party. They have sunny dispositions. They are often full of rum. Yes, but unlike your girlfriends, Chip. This island is relatively small compared to other islands. **Chip** (00:23:50:20 - 00:24:02:01): You've just nailed my my dating experience. That's it. That's amazing. Speaking. Okay. Speaking of dating experience. Ready for this? I know a little bit about Dominica. **Thomas** (00:24:02:05 - 00:24:04:00): Do you really? **Chip** (00:24:04:02 - 00:24:21:15): The girl that I dated my freshman year of college. Her roommate was, like, went the year before. Like, took a year off college or something like that, and, like, went on like. And I think she, like, taught school down in Dominica. **Thomas** (00:24:21:16 - 00:24:22:10): Oh, really? **Chip** (00:24:22:10 - 00:24:40:22): And then dated a like a local, a guy from Dominica for a while and then like they, they carried on a long term relationship while she was in college and he was still back into Monica. Yeah. It didn't last that long. And I think the guy's name was Cyrus, and I talked to him on the phone a bunch of times. And. Really nice guy. And a beautiful island. I will say that, like, gorgeous, gorgeous island. Seems like great people. Yeah, I. I'd go there. I'd go there anytime. **Thomas** (00:24:53:03 - 00:24:56:03): The nature island of the Caribbean. **Chip** (00:24:56:04 - 00:24:57:02): Very lush. **Thomas** (00:24:57:03 - 00:25:24:10): Yeah. Not a lot of white sand beaches or anything you think of. It's like one of the more relatively new islands. So there's still a lot of volcanic activity. There's nine active volcanoes on it. Yep. Pristine rainforest. And it's got a ton of, like, rivers and waterfalls. And it's just supposed to be this beautiful Paradise. The weather's warm, it's rainforest, it's tropical, but it's a little more rugged, a little more nature than most of these things. And it seems like friggin awesome. And that's why it's having such a blow up right now. 22% year over year in travel demand to Dominica. **Chip** (00:25:34:15 - 00:25:35:08): Good for them. **Thomas** (00:25:35:08 - 00:26:00:21): And also, we're kind of in an interesting place right now with American travelers to the Caribbean because it's it's actually a pretty good value, especially in flights. Right. The average flight from the United States to the Caribbean is $385. It's great. It's like 32% cheaper than flying to any South American destination. **Chip** (00:26:00:22 - 00:26:02:03): Get out there on those islands. **Thomas** (00:26:02:03 - 00:26:10:07): So it's kind of right there for the taking. And they're all like trying to shuffle in for just that, that those chip Chantry bucks is what they're looking for. **Chip** (00:26:10:10 - 00:26:27:12): Yeah, they're just giant oversize dollars with my mug on the front and on the back of it instead of like, a federal building or an eagle. It is just my backside that I photocopied at the company Christmas party. **Thomas** (00:26:27:13 - 00:26:30:18): A nice pressed Chantry ham. **Chip** (00:26:30:20 - 00:26:34:10): Pressed ham. Merry Christmas. **Thomas** (00:26:34:12 - 00:26:37:19): All right, buddy. Merry Christmas and merry Christmas to everybody. **Chip** (00:26:37:20 - 00:26:40:09): Christmas in July. It's Christmas in July right now. **Thomas** (00:26:40:10 - 00:26:51:10): Christmas in July. Yep. All right. The rules for luxury wellness retreats are being rewritten in fancy spa treatments might be losing steam. **Chip** (00:26:51:12 - 00:26:56:14): Yeah. Yeah. Hang loose. Masseuse. We're out of here. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:26:56:16 - 00:27:15:20): Matador network is reporting travel writer Rouleau Luna Ramos found the real wellness win of his luxury Los Cabos retreat outside the spa entirely. So this travel writer stayed. He. He did all the luxury wellness things people do. You know, the spa treatments, all that kind of stuff. **Chip** (00:27:15:21 - 00:27:20:11): I bet you he had some hot pebbles lying on his bare back at one point. **Thomas** (00:27:20:12 - 00:27:27:19): According to the posters in every hotel I've ever stayed at. He probably had some hot stones working that back. **Chip** (00:27:27:20 - 00:27:56:02): I am not a doctor. I am not a suspect. It's not a statistic or whatever. Okay. Physical therapist. I think every once in a while in history. Yeah, that there is a trend or a fad or whatever you might want to call it that comes up that looks like it's very beneficial, but it's just that industry playing a joke on mostly rich people. And I love it. Yeah, like hot stones, really. They're like just they're just all they're getting high in the like, like supply closet at the main center for this spa chain. Right. And they're like, we got to come up with something, got something. And they're just like, let's get rocks. We'll make them hot and we'll set them on the back leg. We're stacking. It's like a Jenga game. And then and we'll say it's good for like cupping. Remember cupping. **Thomas** (00:28:24:03 - 00:28:26:14): Yeah, I think that still happened. I think some people are cupping. **Chip** (00:28:26:15 - 00:28:42:05): Maybe it really works. It draws the blood to like wherever whatever. But maybe it's a big hooks and that's just somebody playing a trick on somebody else and everybody buys into it. I think maybe we could come up with some sort of spa. **Thomas** (00:28:42:07 - 00:28:43:04): Yeah. Treatment. **Chip** (00:28:43:05 - 00:29:13:21): Right. Like it's just like. All right, well, it's sort of like a facial. But really, it's the potassium from bananas are what really gives you the nutrients in your skin to give them, you know, rejuvenate the skin. And if you're if you prepare your body for the facial, you're, your face is relaxed so it doesn't get to all of the nooks and crannies. So it has to be surprised. So your your face has to be sort of wincing and surprise as we're applying this facial banana cream. Okay. So what we'll do. You'll stay at this resort and every once in a while, probably a few times a day out of the blue, a worker will surprise you when you're playing tennis, pickleball at breakfast and smack you in the face with the banana cream pie. And you'll be very you'll be very surprised. And then you will just let it sit there. You have to let it sit for about 45 minutes. Go outside in the sun, maybe where the birds and and the, the, the bugs are and stuff. Yeah. And, and then you can go and watch yourself off and then it's just a staff full of people with banana cream pies. Yeah. That just throw pies at rich people day in and day out. **Thomas** (00:30:02:00 - 00:30:03:09): Clown therapy. **Chip** (00:30:03:13 - 00:30:08:02): Clown therapy. And people pay a premium for this product. **Thomas** (00:30:08:02 - 00:30:34:04): That's exactly what this article is talking about, chip. In a way, not necessarily the PiS, not the clown therapy, but just that, like the expectation is for luxury wellness retreats, is that you will just have a blank checkbook ready to gobble up whatever BS somebody wants to feed you. Good. A lot of places are trying to shift away from selling that version of their services to the world. And this dude. He went, he did all. He did all the treatments, he did everything. But then he said, like the the actual healing moment, the one that was rejuvenating was just a simple, you know, snorkeling trip that he took out in the water, where he was completely surrounded by a school of fish. He was like, I just we just jumped in there and the school of fish, it felt like he was just existing in a mass, a living mass that was just fluttering around him. They didn't care that he was there. They were just going about their business. Nobody heard each other. But it just, you know, I'm assuming, reminded him that we're all like part of this thing. We all exist together. We're all one. In a way. If that sounds a little too fruit fruit for you. **Chip** (00:31:20:02 - 00:31:27:18): I know it doesn't at all because I, I, I don't know if I've told you this, but I've experienced that with fish before. **Thomas** (00:31:27:19 - 00:31:28:14): Yeah. **Chip** (00:31:28:15 - 00:31:58:09): Many times, many, many times. And I've never even been snorkeling. Really. Like, besides, you know. Yeah, I, I've done it about 20 times in my life where I've been with fish and just surrounded by creatures that are all just loving and moving about, not worrying about each other, what they think of each other. They're just. Yeah. And it's just one organism of like 20,000 of them at the same time. And fish just they do. I'm talking about the band fish. I've been to fish concerts, 20 times where that same thing is, is happening. So. Yeah. No, I get it. **Thomas** (00:32:08:08 - 00:32:34:07): Yeah. So instead of like, this super indulgent, all the focus is on me. Everybody's paying attention to me. He went the other way and found the most memorable part to be being part of everything where nobody was paying attention to him. Being in some beautiful water there off of Los Cabos and just being one with nature for a little bit in a way he doesn't usually get to experience. And the rest of the article is people from the, you know, industry talking about. That's kind of the direction the lecture wellness retreats have to go in. I. **Chip** (00:32:47:04 - 00:32:50:11): I like it. I think this guy should take a week and go to Dominica. **Thomas** (00:32:50:12 - 00:33:08:13): I think this guy would love Dominica. Plus, because of all the no holes policies these places are putting in, they're really running out of rich customers at these luxury retreats, right? So they've got to re restructure their offerings to a and get some get some nicer people in there so. **Chip** (00:33:08:15 - 00:33:12:17): That there's a theme today. Thomas. There is a theme. No holes. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:33:12:18 - 00:33:29:21): Just just having some fun in the sun. All right. Next story. Ali G showed up at Wimbledon, chip slinging weed to people watching the crap version of ping pong on brand. Do you saw the video? Right? Do you see this? **Chip** (00:33:29:22 - 00:33:30:10): Yes. **Thomas** (00:33:30:10 - 00:33:45:10): Yeah. Dude, I thought it was so funny. It was so Ali G. I've missed Ali G. He's been gone for a long time. Yeah, but the big story here is that he was doing it to promote a new Ali G movie. **Chip** (00:33:45:12 - 00:33:47:14): Which super excited about. **Thomas** (00:33:47:15 - 00:33:52:01): Yeah, I love it. Like you fan of The Ridge. Did you watch that on HBO? **Chip** (00:33:52:05 - 00:33:53:01): Absolutely, yeah. **Thomas** (00:33:53:05 - 00:33:58:00): Do you have any memory of Ali G that stands out more than others? **Chip** (00:33:58:01 - 00:34:14:18): I remember Boutros Boutros-Ghali, I think his name. Do you remember that the the who's like the head of the UN, I believe the chairman of the UN. Yeah. And he goes, this is Boutros Boutros Boutros-Ghali, and it's just the dumbest thing. But like every time I hear that name, I have to say it three times. **Thomas** (00:34:14:19 - 00:34:25:05): Was, was that the one where he was asking them why they weren't taking any precautions to keep trains from being driven into, like doing a 911? **Chip** (00:34:25:07 - 00:34:31:21): I believe so, yeah. Yes. **Thomas** (00:34:31:23 - 00:34:38:19): The one that gets me, dude, is he was like pitching. Like I do not know how he got. I think he even went in front of Donald Trump. **Chip** (00:34:38:22 - 00:34:41:02): Oh, you didn't know he he interviewed John Trump. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:34:41:03 - 00:34:50:13): And pitched his business idea for ice cream. Gloves. Gloves. You eat well. You're or gloves you wear while you're eating ice cream. **Chip** (00:34:50:13 - 00:34:51:22): Yes. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:34:51:23 - 00:35:18:14): Oh do it. It killed me. And especially like when I got into pitching things and trying to get people to buy entertainment ideas, scripts, movies, properties. You just like, talk to other producers and you take a look at their sales materials and they are doing straight up, you know, Ali G style math for like how popular their stuff is and how much money it's going to make. It's just complete nonsense. And his big thing was he was like ice cream gloves. He's like, I looked up ice cream and it got 100 million results on Google. And he's like, and then I looked up gloves and it got like, you know, a trillion results on Google. He's like, so you multiply them together. If all of them by one ice cream glove will. It's just like you say it's it's obviously going to make billions of dollars. But I've seen similar things like I've seen people go in and like, say this actor's attached to something. Right. And they have X amount of Instagram followers. And like equating that. So like if every one of their Instagram followers buys a ticket we're talking about you know. **Chip** (00:36:13:06 - 00:36:13:09): Of. **Thomas** (00:36:13:09 - 00:36:21:13): Course $100 million at the box office. And it's just like who do you think is buying this. **Chip** (00:36:21:15 - 00:36:24:16): It's it's incredible. But people love to throw numbers together. **Thomas** (00:36:24:17 - 00:36:32:04): People love to throw bogus numbers together. Ali G did it better than anybody. And huzzah to you Ali G. **Chip** (00:36:32:05 - 00:36:33:09): Huzzah, huzzah! **Thomas** (00:36:33:11 - 00:36:40:20): Welcome back. I'm excited to see what very uncomfortable stuff you've been cooking in the allergy kitchen. **Chip** (00:36:40:21 - 00:36:42:02): Yeah you have. **Thomas** (00:36:42:04 - 00:36:48:20): And also like, you know, Wimbledon, famously a grass court. Yes. So he was there to sell weed. **Chip** (00:36:48:21 - 00:36:50:06): Sell a little grass himself. **Thomas** (00:36:50:10 - 00:37:14:19): Sell a little grass himself. All right, buddy, next story. The Big Island's top five beaches have been ranked by Hawaii Magazine readers, and one of them ain't so good for swimming chip. That's normally pretty high up on the consideration list. Okay, so I feel very lucky. Dude. I've been to a lot of these beaches, but number one, nobody's surprised. Harpoon a beach takes the top spot. It's a half mile stretch of white sand on the Kohala coast, and this is not a surprise. This literally wins best beach every year on this specific bowl. Beautiful. It's up there kind of, you know, closer to the northwest top of the Big Island and just beautiful dude. It barely rains there somehow. Like it's a kind of a geographic anomaly. Like there's a lot of microclimates, but it's always sunny, it's always beautiful. And there's just this, like, great stretch of beach. And then on the other end of the beach, the Puna Lu black sand beach came in at number two. So you got the white sand up north. This is like closer to the south point. I've been to this one too. But like the interesting part about this one is it you can't really swim there. It's like so rocky. And when you say black sand beach. Have you ever been to a black sand beach? **Chip** (00:38:19:12 - 00:38:20:21): I have not. **Thomas** (00:38:20:23 - 00:38:23:09): It's bizarre. It's truly bizarre. **Chip** (00:38:23:10 - 00:38:24:22): It feels like a different planet. **Thomas** (00:38:24:23 - 00:38:42:19): It feels like a different planet. But like, you know, I've been to beaches here in Los Angeles. Sometimes there's like, I don't know if it's tar or something that watches up on the sand and you have like a black layer on top, it sticks to your feet, but there's still white sand underneath. Yeah. That's not what we're doing on the Big East. **Chip** (00:38:42:21 - 00:38:44:05): Volcanic. Is that what it is? **Thomas** (00:38:44:05 - 00:39:09:12): It's exactly what it is. It's volcanic rock that's just been pulverized and turned into sand. And it just it just feels off. You're like, this is the the consistency. This is what a beach feels like. It is the wrong color. Yeah, yeah, it's an otherworldly color. And this place is famous for Hanyu Turtles. They just come up there and hang out and like, people can take pictures. Hopefully they're respectful. I've never seen anybody there not be respectful because there's a lifeguard. A lot of beaches don't have lifeguards. This one has a lifeguard, and his or her whole job is just to be, like, get back from the turtles. Yeah. Leave the turtles alone. **Chip** (00:39:25:08 - 00:39:26:20): Stop. Because. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:39:26:21 - 00:39:43:17): Because nobody's swimming in this beach. It's just like jagged volcanic rock. Right? And, and then, like, a little way for turtles to get up, and you can't mess with them. You don't even wear your bathing suit to this beach ship. You park, you get out. You're like, what is this color? I think I might have some videos or something. I'll see if I can. **Chip** (00:39:44:07 - 00:39:45:13): Pop song. Okay? Yeah, yeah, I would love. **Thomas** (00:39:45:13 - 00:39:57:16): To pop some up in here. But yeah, dude, just it's great. And also, famously, the Big Island has a green sand beach that didn't make the top five. **Chip** (00:39:57:21 - 00:39:59:05): Which is a little wild. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:39:59:05 - 00:40:13:16): It is a little wild. If they're going black sand, they don't want to go green sand. But I think that's very remote. Like if I remember correctly, I think it took me like an hour or an hour and a half to walk from the parking lot about to the green sand beach. **Chip** (00:40:13:17 - 00:40:15:22): Oh, so it is a yeah, it's a hike. **Thomas** (00:40:16:00 - 00:40:35:13): But it's it's also bizarre, like it's the wrong color and it's a beach. That was for like, I guess there's a volcanic like crystal that can be formed and it's green. And I think this is the only place in the world where that gets smashed and turned into green sand. And it's pretty sick, dude. It's pretty sick. Like, if you get a chance to get out to the Big Island, go see all these beaches. **Chip** (00:40:35:13 - 00:40:37:07): Check out the purple beach, the orange one. **Thomas** (00:40:37:08 - 00:40:39:10): The whole island sponsored by Skittles. **Chip** (00:40:39:13 - 00:40:41:04): It really is. Taste. Taste the rainbow. **Thomas** (00:40:41:05 - 00:40:50:08): Taste the rainbow. Oh, rainbow. It's very synonymous with Hawaii. Yeah. Boy, I can't wait to get back to some Hawaiian beaches. Man. **Chip** (00:40:50:14 - 00:40:54:18): I can't believe 135 days cheap chantries. Thanksgiving in Paradise. **Thomas** (00:40:54:20 - 00:40:59:03): Yeah, baby. It's wild. I'm so excited. Dude. That's it for for sunburn news. **Chip** (00:40:59:03 - 00:41:00:15): Sunburn news. Boom! **Thomas** (00:41:00:16 - 00:41:03:23): And now we're taking a quick trip to that hypochondriac corner. **Chip** (00:41:04:04 - 00:41:05:04): How are you feeling, Tommy? **Thomas** (00:41:05:05 - 00:41:11:05): Dude, this diarrhea parasite is dominating a lot of my thought patterns. What can I eat? **Chip** (00:41:11:05 - 00:41:22:07): I know they're like, hey, the healthiest food. Avoid it. Yeah. Spinach? Nope. Lettuce? No, thanks. Berries at of here. Twinkies. Bring it on. Oh. **Thomas** (00:41:22:08 - 00:41:23:11): Twinkies are safe. **Chip** (00:41:23:16 - 00:41:24:03): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:41:24:04 - 00:41:50:19): Twinkies seem to be the one thing. They just don't know where it's coming from. I know, and I guess the only way to really be sure is to cook whatever food you have to over 155 degrees, or I think most food temperatures are 165 at least. Like that's for chicken or pork or whatever. Okay, I read something somewhere and this could be wrong that says 155 okay, we'll kill this parasite. **Chip** (00:41:50:20 - 00:41:51:11): That's good. **Thomas** (00:41:51:13 - 00:42:00:17): If you're cooking things up. But yeah, like you, you want a summer salad, maybe you'll be a rushing diarrhea geyser. **Chip** (00:42:00:18 - 00:42:04:03): Maybe that's the weight loss plan. Maybe that's what we're looking for, I don't know. **Thomas** (00:42:04:04 - 00:42:07:15): Oh, yeah. Maybe This is nature is GLP one. **Chip** (00:42:07:16 - 00:42:18:14): But I literally just bought a nice big bag of spinach, as I do every couple of days to put in my smoothie. Spinach, frozen strawberries, you know, some milk, some of the protein powder. **Thomas** (00:42:18:15 - 00:42:19:19): Oh you're done dude. **Chip** (00:42:19:20 - 00:42:25:07): Not not doing it. And just so now I'm going to cook up the spinach and and eat it as such. **Thomas** (00:42:25:08 - 00:42:30:21): Yeah. Nothing like a nice 165 degree smoothie. **Chip** (00:42:30:23 - 00:42:35:00): I mean, just you throw that spinach in there and just a little gravy. **Thomas** (00:42:35:02 - 00:42:38:13): You're good. A little protein gravy. **Chip** (00:42:38:14 - 00:42:40:05): Maybe we get Chef Keith to do that. **Thomas** (00:42:40:06 - 00:42:43:04): What was his Thanksgiving book? **Chip** (00:42:43:06 - 00:42:48:19): So Turbo Gravy was the name of the gravy that he made. Oh, every. If you have not everybody go look up Chef Keith and his Thanksgiving leftovers on YouTube and you will not be disappointed. **Thomas** (00:42:58:10 - 00:43:02:06): Wasn't it something like. Like, using leftovers to help prevent suicide or something like. **Chip** (00:43:06:16 - 00:43:17:04): Oh that's right. Because suicide suicide was is obviously on the rise during the holiday season. And part of that, a big reason for that suicide is because people can't figure out what to do with their leftovers. **Thomas** (00:43:17:05 - 00:43:23:18): Yeah yeah, yeah. Does. Nick Nick is out of control. Dude, I. **Chip** (00:43:23:18 - 00:43:24:11): Just unbelievable. **Thomas** (00:43:24:13 - 00:43:39:06): So freaking funny. Yeah. Dude, I, I'm literally having to consciously try and put this out of my mind before I eat most things right now. Yeah, it's all over the place. I don't know where it's coming from, and I really don't want to get sick. I don't want to get my kids sick. I don't want to get my wife sick. **Chip** (00:43:39:06 - 00:43:51:12): I think maybe it's like a two week window just to be like, eat just fried dough. Oh, and junk for two weeks to be healthy and safe. I think maybe that's what they're telling us. **Thomas** (00:43:51:12 - 00:43:57:15): Exactly. If you go on an all pizza diet, at least you can control the kind of diarrhea you're going to have. **Chip** (00:43:57:16 - 00:43:59:12): Exactly. **Thomas** (00:43:59:14 - 00:44:05:12): Yeah. Okay. Dude, any hippos out there? Stay strong. **Chip** (00:44:05:17 - 00:44:06:15): Stay strong. **Thomas** (00:44:06:17 - 00:44:18:22): Parasite. It's so hard. They don't really know where it's coming from. They're just giving you a bland guidance. That's not really helpful. Yep. But you know what is helpful Chip I think it is helpful to focus on the positive. **Chip** (00:44:18:23 - 00:44:19:12): Yes it is. **Thomas** (00:44:19:13 - 00:44:29:06): I think it's helpful to focus on our heroes. I think it's helpful to research them and celebrate them. That's why we're heading into some buffet facts. Chips. **Chip** (00:44:29:06 - 00:44:32:04): Yes, yes we are. What have you got this week, Thomas? **Thomas** (00:44:32:04 - 00:44:47:15): Let me tell you what I got this week. Jimmy Buffett surprisingly couldn't make a good margarita himself. He could only make perfect ones. **Chip** (00:44:47:17 - 00:44:50:20): That is. That is certainly true. Certainly true. **Thomas** (00:44:50:22 - 00:45:05:09): Yeah. He had he had no ability to make a 90, 95%. No, he couldn't make he couldn't make a standard A grade margarita. He had to make that a plus. It just naturally happened. **Chip** (00:45:05:10 - 00:45:24:15): On Sunday, I have to say. Yeah. I was driving back from Cape Charles, Virginia. I love it. Did not have much food that day. I had little breakfast. I wanted to stop at a diner in like rural Virginia and like, none were open at the time. It was like the whole thing. I ended up just going to Dunkin Donuts and getting like a little sandwich and a coffee, and then I didn't have much to eat for the rest of the day. I think I had like a banana. And then we went to our favorite place, Pistoles del sur, which is that place. He walked on East Junk right there, and we stopped and we got some chips and guac, some delicious shrimp tacos. And then the wife and I split a picture of Mark's that they have on tap. Yeah, because they. Mark the mark, they have it on tap and we split a picture. And usually I'm good. I'm like, all right, feeling good. And man, those sent me. I was not prepared for that. And then we were just like walking around. We're like, let's go for a walk. And it's just yeah, it had to be a, it was a, it was one of those. Although the only downfall was we got back around like 8 p.m. and had to wait a little bit to walk the dog. And then we were sort of watching TV and I just sort of passed out and then woke up at like ten. And that's the worst when you're just like, yeah, you pass it and then you wake up and you're like, oh, I got to go do something or go with the dog, and you're just feeling, yeah, but that's my hypochondriac corner right there. **Thomas** (00:46:27:18 - 00:46:42:02): Yeah. No, I love it. And I just thinking about it, I have no proof, but I wonder if the margarita is the solve to this, this parasite. Oh, if you put the raspberries into Kayla, are we killing this parasite? **Chip** (00:46:42:03 - 00:46:43:00): I. **Thomas** (00:46:43:02 - 00:46:49:08): And then can you eat whatever you want? Do you just need to put a little tequila in that in that smoothie chip? **Chip** (00:46:49:10 - 00:46:51:14): I think you just, **Thomas** (00:46:51:16 - 00:46:53:00): I might have solved. **Chip** (00:46:53:02 - 00:46:54:03): A crisis. **Thomas** (00:46:54:05 - 00:47:05:05): I might have solved it. And you can. Once again, this is a choose your own diarrhea option. Yes. Right. Yeah. It's like at least the parasites not giving it to you. You're choosing how you. **Chip** (00:47:05:10 - 00:47:06:12): Sired, baby. **Thomas** (00:47:06:13 - 00:47:10:13): Yeah, sired. See? Wired. Let's see if that websites available. Yeah. Chip. What's your Buffett fact. **Chip** (00:47:16:09 - 00:47:21:22): Buddy to Jimmy Buffett? Every chair was a lounge chair. **Thomas** (00:47:22:00 - 00:47:24:20): Oh, yeah. **Chip** (00:47:24:21 - 00:47:29:21): Does it matter what type it was? He figured out a way to make it lounge. **Thomas** (00:47:29:22 - 00:47:43:20): He was going to. Hats off. Jimmy Buffett. Has that. What a life worth celebrating. Buffett. Facts are over, man. I'm feeling some splashing. I'm feeling some splashing. It's time for the sunburn podcast. Fish are the week. **Chip** (00:47:43:22 - 00:47:50:10): Fish of the week. We got a good one this week, Thomas. We're we've sort of been on a theme and we're going to continue with that. But I got something special. **Thomas** (00:47:50:10 - 00:47:52:15): It's not another watermelon is it, chip. **Chip** (00:47:52:21 - 00:47:53:17): We'll see. **Thomas** (00:47:53:21 - 00:47:55:21): Maybe. All right. **Chip** (00:47:56:00 - 00:48:03:17): It's just as fun. I will say that. Okay. This week's fish of the week is Gary the Clown triggerfish. **Thomas** (00:48:03:21 - 00:48:05:10): Okay, buddy. **Chip** (00:48:05:11 - 00:48:10:19): All right, I love this. Now, the theme was we've had a couple of triggerfish varieties. **Thomas** (00:48:10:21 - 00:48:12:00): We really have. **Chip** (00:48:12:01 - 00:48:28:15): And I've been I've been trying to figure out a way to explain this and to understand it exactly. But these triggerfish, they're all sort of from this loose family. But they're they all have some things, but they're not exactly all the same. But they're just, it's kind of like, oh, that's my step cousin. And you're like, all right, there's no real blood there. But whatever. He shows up at Easter. So you have so the clown triggerfish is like a lot of the other triggerfish that we've talked about recently. Gary's got the, the literally the, the trigger on it. We remember that the dorsal he's got that kickstand. **Thomas** (00:48:43:15 - 00:48:45:01): So he can wedge. **Chip** (00:48:45:03 - 00:49:13:16): So he can wedge he can wedge into the sand. It's like a little anchor, a little kickstand. Whenever he sees a predator or a Jehovah's Witness at the door. If I was a stand up comedian from 1987, just like the other triggerfish we've talked about, Gary's got those googly eyes, the ones that work independently of each other so he can be looking at you while you're talking to him at a party, and also looking over your shoulder at the same time to see if anybody better has shown up. **Thomas** (00:49:13:17 - 00:49:16:00): Yeah, come on. **Chip** (00:49:16:02 - 00:49:31:01): He's got that. And just like the other triggerfish, he is territorial, okay. He's he watches out for his location. He's territorial like other triggerfish like gang members or like your, your grandma Ruth at in the kitchen at Thanksgiving dinner. **Thomas** (00:49:31:02 - 00:49:33:13): Oh, dude, do not mess with roofs. **Chip** (00:49:33:15 - 00:49:45:13): Get out. But that's not what we're talking about today. He has a lot of those same similarities. But since Gary is the clown triggerfish, it's all about fashion, baby. **Thomas** (00:49:45:14 - 00:49:46:10): Okay? **Chip** (00:49:46:12 - 00:50:05:09): All about fashion. Just look, Thomas at this marvel. Look at these markings, okay? My God, Thomas, I did the math. If Gary was a Dan Flash's shirt, he would be at least $1,000. Because the patterns are so complicated. **Thomas** (00:50:05:14 - 00:50:09:14): So it looks like what Sarah Sherman's shooting for with every outfit. **Chip** (00:50:09:18 - 00:50:31:20): That's exactly what it is. Yes, Sarah Sherman should be taking notes from Gary the Clown triggerfish. Now, for those of you who can't see him, I mean, look them up. It just soak it in. But just to paint a picture with words. The clown triggerfish, like Gary, his base is black. Okay. But like, there's not a lot of black there because there's so many other things happening. The bottom of it and the whole bottom are covered with these big white marshmallow spots. So he looks like one of like Kanye's sneakers. It's like moon shoes. **Thomas** (00:50:43:17 - 00:50:45:01): All foam posit. **Chip** (00:50:45:02 - 00:51:02:13): See if those big old gloopy white eggs basically big marshmallows. But then you go up to the that's on the bottom. Then you go up to the top and he's got this gold leopard pattern, you know, like the jacket of Grandma Patterson's hottest friend, Edna. **Thomas** (00:51:02:15 - 00:51:03:06): You know. **Chip** (00:51:03:11 - 00:51:06:21): You try to be as sweet lady on the town with her leopard skin, right? Okay. **Thomas** (00:51:06:22 - 00:51:08:14): Yeah. Animal print. **Chip** (00:51:08:16 - 00:51:14:05): Denny's got this giant yellow ring around his mouth with his big, sharp. **Thomas** (00:51:14:06 - 00:51:18:06): Teeth, so you get in trouble. What's up? People know you're a clownfish. **Chip** (00:51:18:08 - 00:51:18:21): Hey, that's. **Thomas** (00:51:18:21 - 00:51:20:20): That's what it is. Big yellow ring. **Chip** (00:51:20:21 - 00:51:28:00): The big yellow ring around your mouth. Like he was just eating a bunch of Cheetos. Okay? And his fins are white and yellow, so it's just like all of these different colors. Crazy patterns. You know, he looks like. Okay, this is what he looks like. Yeah, he looks like. Remember when, like, Scooby-Doo would, like, accidentally roller skate through a walk in closet or a dressing room and he would roller skate in and then come out the other side wearing, like, 20 different outfits. **Thomas** (00:51:52:03 - 00:51:53:04): Yeah. **Chip** (00:51:53:05 - 00:51:54:19): That is what Gary the Clown. **Thomas** (00:51:54:21 - 00:51:56:21): That's kind of what Gary's got going on. **Chip** (00:51:56:22 - 00:52:11:12): Yeah, yeah. Or, like, you might have this. You have a daughter. Maybe someday soon where it's like when you see, like a little girl who decides to dress herself. Yep. But she's wearing, like, a princess dress and cowboy boots and a football helmet. **Thomas** (00:52:11:12 - 00:52:13:10): That's the classic Ace Ventura look. **Chip** (00:52:13:11 - 00:52:14:02): It is. **Thomas** (00:52:14:06 - 00:52:16:07): The two. Two. Lon. Yeah, yeah. **Chip** (00:52:16:12 - 00:52:34:01): Yes! Yeah, it just laces out, buddy. Laces out. Gary is camouflaged. Don't know if you know this. He. But he's only camouflaged. He's only camouflaged if he's trying to hide inside of one of Andre Agassi tennis shirts from 1990. **Thomas** (00:52:34:03 - 00:52:36:16): Yeah. You're not going to find Gary then. **Chip** (00:52:36:17 - 00:52:55:09): He looks like the black light room at Spencer's Gifts. Like that back section with those with with all those posters that your parents want to let you buy. Yeah, that's what Gary the Clown triggerfish looks like. And that is why Gary is this week's fish of the week. Gary the Clown triggerfish. **Thomas** (00:52:55:11 - 00:53:02:16): Congratulations, Gary. You're your unique cat in a world of trigger fishes. He's really standing out. **Chip** (00:53:02:17 - 00:53:04:04): Be that colorful character. **Thomas** (00:53:04:05 - 00:53:10:03): Hats off Gary. All right, that's it for fish of the week. Now it's time to open up the good book. **Chip** (00:53:10:05 - 00:53:20:17): Open it up. The biggest, the best, the fastest, the tallest, the strongest. The Guinness Book of World Records 2026. Thomas, what is your world record this week? **Thomas** (00:53:20:17 - 00:53:35:15): My record this week is a tropical delight. Chip. I found the record for the heaviest mango ever and due to Guinness Books strict criteria, it's not Chris Kitten's classic SNL character, unfortunately. **Chip** (00:53:35:16 - 00:53:37:02): Who doesn't love that mango? **Thomas** (00:53:37:03 - 00:53:44:17): It was grown by a farming family in the Philippines, and I need you to guess how many pounds the single fruit weighed. **Chip** (00:53:44:18 - 00:53:46:19): 5 pounds. 5 pounds. **Thomas** (00:53:46:19 - 00:54:01:12): The record is 9 pounds. 9.37 pounds. Can you imagine that's such a honker? For reference, that's slightly heavier than the bowling balls I like to use on account of my carpal tunnel. **Chip** (00:54:01:16 - 00:54:03:04): Those little orange ones. **Thomas** (00:54:03:05 - 00:54:19:17): Yeah, it really helps my wrists feel safe and sound when I'm using a bowling ball of that size. If this mango was a newborn human baby girl, it would be in the 95th percentile of all baby girls born on weight. **Chip** (00:54:19:23 - 00:54:22:03): It sounds like this mango mang went. **Thomas** (00:54:22:04 - 00:54:29:19): Yeah it didn't mango it mango went. The Philippines are nuts about mangoes, dude. They almost treat it like a. **Chip** (00:54:29:22 - 00:54:33:21): I believe on the Philippines national flag. It says nuts about mangoes. **Thomas** (00:54:33:22 - 00:54:43:13): That's about mangoes. Yeah, but that's like translated. It's about the mango nut. The the hard center of the mango. No, it's it's actually the national fruit. **Chip** (00:54:43:14 - 00:54:44:00): Okay. **Thomas** (00:54:44:01 - 00:55:02:04): And the different regions have different means of farming them and cultivating them. And they have an exceptional amount of regional pride about their specific mangoes. So having the largest one really is like a huge feat. It's like a world, a World Cup level of pride. **Chip** (00:55:02:05 - 00:55:02:14): Oh I'm. **Thomas** (00:55:02:14 - 00:55:22:16): Sure, and winning this contest. Yeah. It was grown by the bodyguard family in Zamboanga City, Philippines. And dude, they just made themselves the pride of their community by having the world record largest mango. Hats off! **Chip** (00:55:22:17 - 00:55:26:16): Huzzah! I'm sure they had a big mango party then. I mean, just you feed the whole town. **Thomas** (00:55:26:18 - 00:55:29:03): Yeah, yeah, everybody gets a strip, baby. **Chip** (00:55:29:05 - 00:55:43:01): That is my go to when we go to the Southeast Asian market, my wife and I, the first thing we get is we. We each get a Vietnamese iced coffee, and then she picks up an order of mango sticky rice. **Thomas** (00:55:43:03 - 00:55:44:14): Yeah, yeah. You've told me this before. **Chip** (00:55:44:15 - 00:55:46:23): It's so good. It is delicious. **Thomas** (00:55:47:05 - 00:55:50:11): So delicious. Yeah. Chip, what's your world record this week? **Chip** (00:55:50:12 - 00:56:02:20): All right, Thomas, this is a big one. Okay? This is a record that was set at a place where records are set. This is a hat on a hat. This is a this is like a double shot record here. Okay. **Thomas** (00:56:02:21 - 00:56:03:21): What is this chip? **Chip** (00:56:03:21 - 00:56:15:16): It is the most participants at a Summer Olympic Games. Okay, so think about when the Olympics happen. Yeah. All the different countries, all the different athletes. **Thomas** (00:56:15:19 - 00:56:17:17): **Chip** (00:56:17:19 - 00:56:26:22): 2016 Rio de Janeiro. Yeah. The 2016 Olympics had the most number of athletes. **Thomas** (00:56:26:23 - 00:56:27:22): Really? **Chip** (00:56:28:03 - 00:56:31:07): Now picture the summer of 2016. Thomas. **Thomas** (00:56:31:08 - 00:56:32:01): Yeah. **Chip** (00:56:32:02 - 00:56:36:23): Stranger things. You and your buddies are going to see finding Dory. **Thomas** (00:56:37:01 - 00:56:38:08): Yeah. **Chip** (00:56:38:10 - 00:56:51:02): The Lady Ghostbusters movie is out that everybody was angry about for some reason. Yeah. You and your friends after go and see finding Dory were going out playing Pokemon Go. Talking about the cash me outside girl. **Thomas** (00:56:51:04 - 00:56:51:22): Yeah. **Chip** (00:56:52:03 - 00:56:58:13): You remember those summer nights? You and I were also writing a hit sports bloopers show that summer. **Thomas** (00:56:58:16 - 00:57:01:20): That was a great summer, right? **Chip** (00:57:01:22 - 00:57:06:10): But down in Rio was the Summer Olympics that year. **Thomas** (00:57:06:11 - 00:57:07:05): Yeah, baby. **Chip** (00:57:07:05 - 00:57:32:10): And they had 207 nations competing, which was also a record 207 nations out of like the it's like 297 I think overall in the world. So that's a record. Thomas, out of those 207 nations, how many athletes do you think that performed, you know, competed in those Olympic Games? **Thomas** (00:57:32:11 - 00:57:39:13): God that's tough. I don't I don't even have a baseline to reference from. I'm going to go with 2000. **Chip** (00:57:39:15 - 00:57:44:23): It's great. Guess. Great. Guess that year in Rio de Janeiro in 2016. **Thomas** (00:57:45:00 - 00:57:45:13): Yeah. **Chip** (00:57:45:19 - 00:57:51:14): 11,238 people participated. **Thomas** (00:57:51:15 - 00:57:52:19): Oh my gosh. **Chip** (00:57:52:21 - 00:58:08:06): I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said it. 11,238 people participated I apologize. 11,237 people participated. And one dog. It was Air Bud's final Olympic appearance. **Thomas** (00:58:08:07 - 00:58:09:15): Oh, right. Right, right, right. **Chip** (00:58:09:16 - 00:58:13:22): But you remember the 2016 Olympics. Simone Biles. Michael Phelps. **Thomas** (00:58:13:23 - 00:58:14:15): Yeah. **Chip** (00:58:14:19 - 00:58:15:22): Usain Bolt. **Thomas** (00:58:16:01 - 00:58:16:10): Yeah. **Chip** (00:58:16:10 - 00:58:33:23): No cookie. Katie Ledecky. And out of those four participants of the 11,000, they won. I'm trying to think all of the medals. Yeah. So 11,234 people went home sad. But that's okay. That's part of competition. **Thomas** (00:58:34:00 - 00:58:35:16): Yeah, that's part of trying to be the best. **Chip** (00:58:35:16 - 00:58:43:11): But I mean, can you imagine like 11,000 of the best athletes and physical specimens. **Thomas** (00:58:43:12 - 00:58:43:18): Yeah. **Chip** (00:58:43:19 - 00:58:47:18): In the same place at the same time? **Thomas** (00:58:47:23 - 00:58:48:10): Yeah. **Chip** (00:58:48:11 - 00:58:51:04): I mean it's like Cleveland Comic-Con all over. **Thomas** (00:58:51:04 - 00:58:54:23): Again, you know what I'm saying? The best of the best. **Chip** (00:58:55:00 - 00:59:08:21): Yes. Now, think about this, Thomas, just to put this in perspective, picturing how many 11,000 athletes are. Yeah. Okay. He ever been to the Greek theater in Los Angeles? Thomas. Okay. If they each got a ticket, went to a show. **Thomas** (00:59:09:03 - 00:59:09:19): Yeah. **Chip** (00:59:09:20 - 00:59:23:10): They would fill up the Greek theater twice, dad. Like they would fill up two Greek theaters worth of concerts, or they would fill up 56 Applebee's. **Thomas** (00:59:23:12 - 00:59:24:22): Eating good in the neighborhood. **Chip** (00:59:24:23 - 00:59:30:05): I mean, eating so good. I mean, could you just imagine 56 Applebee's worth of athletes? **Thomas** (00:59:30:06 - 00:59:36:02): Thomas I can't, I can't I mean, that's tough to wrap my mind around all in one place. Rio de Janeiro. **Chip** (00:59:36:04 - 00:59:41:11): De Janeiro. Okay. And I will say, do you know the reason why they were so many that year? **Thomas** (00:59:41:12 - 00:59:42:03): No. **Chip** (00:59:42:04 - 00:59:58:01): That was the year the only Olympics that they ever hosted. The 50 on 50 Mixed Tickle Fight Tournament. It was complete chaos. And I believe that's where the MeToo movement started. **Thomas** (00:59:58:03 - 00:59:59:01): Yeah. **Chip** (00:59:59:02 - 01:00:27:03): It was just very poorly. Poorly planned. Yeah. But congratulations to the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Summer Olympics for the most participants ever, 11,238 athletes. And I can name each and every one of them. I planned it from the top of my head. Here we go. We have Simone Biles, you have Michael Phelps. **Thomas** (01:00:27:07 - 01:00:44:21): He's doing that. You can leave us a voicemail. (310) 845-6038 tell us anything. It's Trouble in Paradise hotline. But specifically, we're looking for bad vacations. This is the podcast where we talk about comedy and travel. And till next time, Miller. Because Dave. **Chip** (01:00:44:21 - 01:00:48:03): Aren't that played on that. And then they had. **Thomas** (01:00:48:05 - 01:00:48:21): Fred desk. **Chip** (01:00:48:21 - 01:00:59:22): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. Someone stole my watch and placed it inside the third floor vending machine. It's hanging on G5 now. You better return my watch to me immediately or I will call the police. **Thomas** (01:00:59:22 - 01:01:04:18): Mr. Chantry, did you get your watch stuck again when you were trying to reach for the Skittles? **Chip** (01:01:04:20 - 01:01:06:17): I'll have you know that they were peanut M&Ms.