Saint Lucia Billionaires, Weird Al on Broadway & Bog-Wild Whiskey 🥃🎷 | Sunburnt Podcast Ep. 61

**Chip** (00:00:00:05 - 00:00:08:15): This is a Catalina wine mixer. That's basically what this is. When you go to the Saint Lucia Jazz Festival, you don't create a strict itinerary. You just improvise. **Thomas** (00:00:08:16 - 00:00:11:06): I mean, it's Mr. Peanut on vacation. That's what we're talking about. **Chip** (00:00:11:08 - 00:00:14:07): The thing I will say about Hawaii, it's a cosmic gumbo. It's a. **Thomas** (00:00:14:07 - 00:00:16:00): Cosmic gumbo. **Chip** (00:00:16:02 - 00:00:19:00): And you and I are always joking about how it's a cosmic gumbo. **Thomas** (00:00:19:00 - 00:00:37:04): So you got to get your sweet little buns to a beach before it's too late. We only have so many beach days on this planet. And if we choose not to take them. What are we doing? What up? Burnt ones? This is the sunburn podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. To my right, as always, you know him from Netflix on the series tires and his amazing stand of special Move Closer. It's Chip Chantry. **Chip** (00:00:38:08 - 00:00:49:12): And over here to my left is Mr. Thomas O'Brien, Emmy Award winning producer, writer, and my pal. Grab a float, put on your earphones and drift away. Grab them by tie. **Thomas** (00:00:49:13 - 00:00:54:17): Because it's great to be in the tropics with your boys. **Chip** (00:00:54:19 - 00:00:55:14): Michael Jordan. **Thomas** (00:00:55:14 - 00:00:55:20): Yeah. **Chip** (00:00:55:21 - 00:01:02:06): Larry bird. Wilt chamberlain seriously? Steph curry LeBron James. **Thomas** (00:01:02:06 - 00:01:03:09): This is crazy, dude. **Chip** (00:01:03:10 - 00:01:08:05): And those are my five goldfish that died this week. Not happy. **Thomas** (00:01:08:06 - 00:01:12:03): When you said there was a mass casualty event at a school. **Chip** (00:01:12:04 - 00:01:13:10): School of fish Thomas. **Thomas** (00:01:13:10 - 00:01:16:02): It's bleak, but it's not as bleak as I thought it was. **Chip** (00:01:16:02 - 00:01:18:10): Well, that's that's good, I guess. **Thomas** (00:01:18:12 - 00:01:26:07): Chip, actually, we already got started. Oh, what a burnt one's. This is the sunburn podcast. We talk about comedy and tropical travel. I'm just gonna get into it. Chip. **Chip** (00:01:26:08 - 00:01:41:08): We have no time to waste. Thomas, this is a this is a podcast about relaxation and vacation, and we need to get moving. We have an itinerary on here. It's where the rubber meets the road. We we're all business today. Let's go. Let's start relaxing. Let's start relaxing. **Thomas** (00:01:41:09 - 00:01:50:03): Let's relax with some urgency here. Yes. All right. On this episode, Saint Lucia's jazz festival promises sax on the beach. **Chip** (00:01:50:04 - 00:01:53:01): Those are the notes you don't play. **Thomas** (00:01:53:03 - 00:01:57:13): Weird Al Yankovic is heading to Broadway. We were legitimately fired up about this show. **Chip** (00:01:57:14 - 00:02:01:20): Yes. And that's where you will hear some sax on the beach. **Thomas** (00:02:01:22 - 00:02:09:16): The next top Hawaiian Island contest is heating up, and we just hope it doesn't drive the big Island to start using. Oh. **Chip** (00:02:09:18 - 00:02:10:22): It's a sad, sad tale. **Thomas** (00:02:10:23 - 00:02:16:04): Stay strong, Big Island. It's what makes you beautiful. Lychees are on the ropes in Hawaii. **Chip** (00:02:16:05 - 00:02:21:01): You say lychee, I say lychee. Let's call the whole podcast off. **Thomas** (00:02:21:03 - 00:02:23:00): You gotta stop trying to quit the podcast. **Chip** (00:02:23:01 - 00:02:23:19): Chip, I know. **Thomas** (00:02:23:20 - 00:02:27:06): We have responsibility to sponsors. **Chip** (00:02:27:06 - 00:02:28:01): We do, we do. **Thomas** (00:02:28:01 - 00:02:35:07): We can't quit till 2029. Yep. Going full bore. The Grand Wailea gets a glow up. **Chip** (00:02:35:07 - 00:02:37:03): So do I, but I'm wearing a hat. You can't see it. **Thomas** (00:02:37:04 - 00:02:39:04): Oh, did you get a little. Did you get a haircut? **Chip** (00:02:39:04 - 00:02:48:16): I got a little blowout. I get I get blowouts every Tuesday and Thursday. The ladies at the shop are very confused as to why I keep showing up. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:02:48:17 - 00:02:55:12): I bet they like that business, though. And the Scottish Whiskey Festival has visitors going bog wild chip. **Chip** (00:02:55:13 - 00:02:58:18): I mean, if that's not a t shirt, I don't know what is. **Thomas** (00:02:58:21 - 00:03:20:09): Bog wild. We got buffet facts. We got the fish of the week, and we crack open the good book for some earth shaking world records. The Trouble in Paradise hotline is open. You can leave us a voicemail at (310) 845-6038, and you may hear a very titillating voice when you answer. **Chip** (00:03:20:10 - 00:03:29:15): Yes, you will leave us your favorite crazy vacation story, your most embarrassing vacation story. Something tumultuous that happened. Tell us all about. **Thomas** (00:03:29:15 - 00:03:41:18): It, and we'll we'll go on that ride with you. Or if you just want to tell us about a great trip you took. Send us some photos we'll go on that journey to. I'm one of the few people that can just make a meal out of your vacation chip. **Chip** (00:03:41:19 - 00:03:44:14): He can vacation vicariously through you. **Thomas** (00:03:44:16 - 00:03:49:13): All right, so it's time to get fired up with a little good old fashioned slather. **Chip** (00:03:49:14 - 00:03:54:02): Love this stuff, Tommy. Just slapping on another coat is what I like to say. **Thomas** (00:03:54:03 - 00:03:57:22): I slapped on a couple of coats this week. **Chip** (00:03:58:02 - 00:03:58:16): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:03:58:17 - 00:04:09:23): It is May on full display here in Los Angeles. We've been having some cloudy, cloudy days, but we've also been having the sun breakthrough and it just fills my little heart with joy. **Chip** (00:04:09:23 - 00:04:11:18): Chip just getting it in before that June Gloom. **Thomas** (00:04:11:18 - 00:04:14:12): I know dude, June glumes a real thing. **Chip** (00:04:14:14 - 00:04:15:00): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:04:15:01 - 00:04:30:18): I don't love it. Well, this is the sunburnt podcast where there's no June gloom. It's always sunny skies in here. Sunburnt podcast. We talk about comedy and tropical travel if you think those two things should go together. Stay tuned. Front desk. **Chip** (00:04:30:19 - 00:04:36:08): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. I was wondering if I could get an early checkout. **Thomas** (00:04:36:09 - 00:04:38:13): You could check out any time you'd like. **Chip** (00:04:38:16 - 00:04:39:18): But you can. Never leave. **Thomas** (00:04:41:20 - 00:04:45:11): Oh, please stop calling me. **Chip** (00:04:45:13 - 00:04:50:01): Okie dokie, Chip Thomas, let's get started. **Thomas** (00:04:50:02 - 00:04:52:12): Episode 61 of the sunburnt podcast.. **Chip** (00:04:52:13 - 00:04:59:05): The Big Six one. The big 661. Visited for the first time. **Thomas** (00:04:59:07 - 00:05:07:23): We are the number one tropical travel comedy podcast on the planet. We've been at it for 61 episodes, and I feel like we're just getting in a groove. **Chip** (00:05:08:00 - 00:05:12:14): Chip, just like Madonna in 1984, I'm going to call it. We're getting into the groove. **Thomas** (00:05:12:15 - 00:05:13:18): Boy, you got to move. **Chip** (00:05:13:19 - 00:05:15:02): Papa Don't Preach, is what. **Thomas** (00:05:15:02 - 00:05:27:12): I'm saying. It's like one of those things where you think about Madonna, then who you picture in your mind, and then you know what she looks like now, and you're just like father times coming for all of us. **Chip** (00:05:27:12 - 00:05:34:09): No matter how much you try to reinforce the you try to reinforce the sandbags out front, the flood is going to come. **Thomas** (00:05:34:09 - 00:05:42:14): So you got to get your sweet little buns to a beach before it's too late. We only have so many beach days on this planet, and if we choose not to take them, what are we doing? **Chip** (00:05:42:15 - 00:05:50:21): And sometimes there was only one set of footprints on that beach. And that's because you were at the office doing your job. Come out to the beach with. **Thomas** (00:05:50:21 - 00:05:59:00): Us while your wife was resenting you and your marriage was falling apart and your family was getting ready to leave, all because you didn't want to have fun in the sun. **Chip** (00:05:59:00 - 00:06:00:01): Have fun with us. **Thomas** (00:06:00:01 - 00:06:10:23): So we're here to save your whole life. We're gonna jump into the tropics mentally. We're going to spend some time there, and we're going to start right now with a segment. We call for the L go. **Chip** (00:06:11:00 - 00:06:11:16): For the. **Thomas** (00:06:11:16 - 00:06:19:07): Algo, where we tell you stories from around the world and hope that our robot overlords will bless us. **Chip** (00:06:19:07 - 00:06:23:19): All hail the Johnny five and six and seven. **Thomas** (00:06:23:19 - 00:06:29:07): And bless you with our content, as they call it. **Chip** (00:06:29:08 - 00:06:31:20): Yeah they do. **Thomas** (00:06:31:22 - 00:06:38:22): All right, first story up, buddy. You want to hear the most expensive sounding thing in the world, Chip? **Chip** (00:06:38:22 - 00:06:41:11): I'm ready for it. And I'm getting my wallet out. **Thomas** (00:06:41:12 - 00:06:45:12): The Saint Lucia Jazz and Arts Festival. **Chip** (00:06:45:14 - 00:06:57:03): First of all, that is the fanciest t shirt you will ever see. Yeah, like, I don't even know if that comes in t shirt form. That's only in button up versions. **Thomas** (00:06:57:04 - 00:06:59:07): Yes. Or precious metals. **Chip** (00:06:59:07 - 00:07:05:11): You're not wearing a Saint Lucia Jazz Festival tank top as much as you would love to top. **Thomas** (00:07:05:12 - 00:07:10:17): Maybe it's like a titanium custom piece of armor, right? Yes. Something chainmail. **Chip** (00:07:10:18 - 00:07:21:12): There's definitely conflicts involved. Yeah, like I would where Saint Lucia Jazz Festival cufflinks to my higher end events that I go to every week or so. **Thomas** (00:07:21:13 - 00:07:25:07): Yeah, it's the kind of event that sounds like maybe Monaco's are required. **Chip** (00:07:25:08 - 00:07:31:22): Like everybody's kind of dressed like Mr. Peanut, but also wearing Bermuda shorts. **Thomas** (00:07:31:23 - 00:07:34:08): I mean, it's Mr. Peanut on vacation is what we're talking. **Chip** (00:07:34:08 - 00:07:51:20): About, basically that. Yeah, he's just getting unsalted for a couple of days. Just relaxing. Unwinding at the Saint Lucia Jazz Festival. Talk about the opposite of Woodstock. I know just a half a million kids hippies just rolling around in the mud. Yeah, there's no mud rolling. **Thomas** (00:07:51:20 - 00:07:55:07): Here, dude. It's it's yachts. An 18th notes, buddy. **Chip** (00:07:55:08 - 00:07:59:10): So, wait, so when is the jazz festival coming up? And can I clear my calendar? **Thomas** (00:07:59:11 - 00:08:25:12): It actually just wrapped up. Chip, this is a post mortem on the festival ended last week, but dude, I just came across a write up and Caribbean World magazine because I'm doing the important work for the community here, right? And they did not make it sound any less exclusive than the name would lead you to believe. They use phrases like and I quote continues to draw global artists and high net worth travelers. Have you ever heard anything call out specifically that it draws in high net worth travelers? **Chip** (00:08:31:04 - 00:08:39:07): No, that's like where they really just sporting like, yeah, unless it's like some sort of like Aspen kind of situation. But this is. **Thomas** (00:08:39:08 - 00:08:54:22): I mean, I've just never heard that advertise before. They're just like the the richest people are going to be here. How about try this one on for size. This is another direct quote. Expect beachfront concerts, luxury after parties and intimate performances. **Chip** (00:08:54:23 - 00:09:16:02): Intimate performances. Sounds a little icky. I'm going to be totally honest with you. Yeah, like I get it. It's it sounds great as far as, like, if you are a jazz head and you're like, I'm going to listen to just this bassist for an hour. Great, but intimate performances afterwards. That sounds a little. That sounds a little Epstein Island, if you if you know what I mean. **Thomas** (00:09:16:04 - 00:09:21:22): Yeah, yeah, but kids don't like jazz, you know what I'm saying? So I think at least we're staying age appropriate. **Chip** (00:09:21:23 - 00:09:22:18): That's true. **Thomas** (00:09:22:18 - 00:09:29:00): That's true in the implications. There's nothing quiet luxury about these statements. **Chip** (00:09:29:01 - 00:09:29:19): No, no, not. **Thomas** (00:09:29:19 - 00:09:54:19): At all. They're not the rich pretending. They're not rich. It is. This is like laying it out their brain dump trucks of money and dump them all over this event. And then this one. This one is another direct quote that really gets at the heart of what I was seeing here. This is more than a festival. It's a cultural magnet for elite tourism. **Chip** (00:09:54:21 - 00:09:56:20): Oh, man. That's I mean. **Thomas** (00:09:56:21 - 00:09:58:03): Isn't that a phrase? **Chip** (00:09:58:04 - 00:10:05:19): Is this a Catalina wine mixer? I mean, that that's basically what this is. But Uptown Girl is not playing, I don't think. **Thomas** (00:10:05:20 - 00:10:14:10): Sounds like a jazzy wine mixer. And it's like where they were doing helicopters there, right? This would be more of the I mean, a large private jets, I'm guessing. **Chip** (00:10:14:10 - 00:10:16:07): Large private jets, super yachts. **Thomas** (00:10:16:08 - 00:10:18:02): We're moving merchandise here. **Chip** (00:10:18:02 - 00:10:48:05): Here isn't a total season of a reality show okay? Give it to me. I'm saying I'm saying maybe we do this next year. We go down, we shoot something. And it's because people love tension, right? They love conflict. It's just a bunch of soft up billionaires trying to ingratiate themselves and make conversation with these jazz artists. Yeah, and just the amount of eye rolling from these jazz heads. While these billionaires are trying to talk to them and trying to tell them about how they played saxophone until eighth grade, and they could probably, you know, do a quick rendition of Take Five, you know, it's I that's that's that is appointment television right there to. **Thomas** (00:11:04:17 - 00:11:18:09): Watch just a class action lawsuit waiting to happen when every elite jazz musician on the planet ends up with an eye strain injury from rolling too hard over the course of shooting your little show here, chip. **Chip** (00:11:18:11 - 00:11:22:19): And just like jazz, remember, Thomas, it's the capital gains that you don't report. **Thomas** (00:11:22:20 - 00:11:26:16): Exactly. Oh, God. Can you imagine how much money you can hide on this island? **Chip** (00:11:26:17 - 00:11:44:22): Hey, I'm just jazzing it up, baby. That's all I'm doing, you know, just here for for a for a flute solo. But really, you were just, throwing some paperwork down a mineshaft. I would assume that's how that works down there. There's a mine shaft. You print out your earnings and you throw them down a mineshaft. **Thomas** (00:11:45:00 - 00:12:06:22): You can't have that paper trail. It's a paper shaft. Yeah, I did a little more digging. I saw the Caribbean World magazine, and I was like, there's got to be more to the story, right? So like the the event actually has a real website and there was a much more robust articles written about it. Right. This is not the vibe at all that there that probably people are experiencing in reality. Like of course it is expensive. It's a festival on an island in a tropical Paradise. It's not going to be cheap. **Chip** (00:12:13:20 - 00:12:15:12): This is not a weekend in Atlantic City. **Thomas** (00:12:15:12 - 00:12:22:13): But it is like a super cool vibe where a bunch of artists come together and put on performances in this really cool venue. **Chip** (00:12:22:14 - 00:12:23:08): Sounds amazing. **Thomas** (00:12:23:08 - 00:12:33:07): It features all kinds of music. It's not just jazz. There's 11 nights across three venues on the island. Nice, and it's the festival's 34th year. **Chip** (00:12:33:07 - 00:12:37:09): So it's literally been going on since cheers has been on the air. **Thomas** (00:12:37:10 - 00:12:45:05): As a matter of fact, some of the Ted Danson may have taken Woody Harrelson to an early version. **Chip** (00:12:45:05 - 00:12:45:21): You would hope so. **Thomas** (00:12:45:22 - 00:13:01:19): They could have been bebop and around. It would have been great this year. They had like a really surprised or not surprising. They had a great lineup. They had some renowned jazz artists, Esperanza Spalding and Branford Marsalis held down the jazz nights. **Chip** (00:13:01:20 - 00:13:02:15): Oh yeah. Sure. **Thomas** (00:13:02:15 - 00:13:15:00): Yeah. Skip Marley in the original Wailers did a Caribbean fusion night. That's kind of great. Thames and LMA headline World Beats Night and Billy Ocean and Beverley Knight closed out the final celebration. **Chip** (00:13:15:00 - 00:13:17:20): Caravan Queen himself, Billy Ocean. **Thomas** (00:13:17:21 - 00:13:18:08): Yeah. **Chip** (00:13:18:08 - 00:13:19:08): We are cooking down there. **Thomas** (00:13:19:13 - 00:13:39:12): One of the venues they put it on is actually on a smaller island off the coast of the island. It's like having one of your events be on the moon. It's this little island right outside. You have to take a boat to get there. And it's like the biggest outdoor venue that they're doing these concerts and chosen. **Chip** (00:13:39:12 - 00:13:40:18): I love that. **Thomas** (00:13:40:19 - 00:14:02:02): It just sounds sick and I can imagine it's 11 days long, just sinking in for 11 days, being on the beach all day and then at night having like, this cool thing to go do with, like everybody else there. I think there's about 180,000 people that live on Saint Lucia that are there all the time. The nightly crowds for these things were around 12,000. **Chip** (00:14:02:07 - 00:14:03:14): Okay. So yeah, people. **Thomas** (00:14:03:17 - 00:14:08:16): So it's like a really high percentage of the folks there are taking part in this fest. **Chip** (00:14:08:17 - 00:14:11:02): Maybe a little comedy next year. Oh. **Thomas** (00:14:11:04 - 00:14:12:13): Maybe a little comedy. **Chip** (00:14:12:14 - 00:14:13:11): A little jazz comedy. **Thomas** (00:14:13:12 - 00:14:22:02): Maybe a little comedy. Saint Lucia jazz and arts festival. Maybe a little sunburnt comedy. Maybe a little in Paradise comedy. **Chip** (00:14:22:03 - 00:14:22:11): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:14:22:13 - 00:14:26:02): I think it would be a great fit. Dude. We should. We'll figure it out. We'll reach out. **Chip** (00:14:26:02 - 00:14:35:16): I love it, and. Yeah. And I think when you go to the Saint Louis Jazz Festival, you don't create a strict itinerary. You just improvise. **Thomas** (00:14:35:18 - 00:14:41:17): Yeah, yeah, but you stay. You stay locked in on a repeating theme comedy, tropical travel. **Chip** (00:14:41:18 - 00:14:42:05): Absolutely. **Thomas** (00:14:42:05 - 00:14:44:04): And living a life you don't need a vacation from. **Chip** (00:14:44:04 - 00:14:44:14): No, you do. **Thomas** (00:14:44:14 - 00:14:47:01): Not just kind of stay within that zone, baby. **Chip** (00:14:47:02 - 00:14:48:20): Jazz it up, baby. That's what I like to say. **Thomas** (00:14:48:21 - 00:14:50:13): All right. Next story. Chip. Dude, we are legitimately excited about this one. **Chip** (00:14:56:01 - 00:15:03:05): I will be the judge and jury of if I'm more excited about this, this upcoming story than the Saint Lucia Jazz Festival. **Thomas** (00:15:03:06 - 00:15:05:20): Weird al, our brother and flower shirts. **Chip** (00:15:05:21 - 00:15:13:14): Stop right there already more excited. I know. I already way more excited. Yeah, go ahead, lay it on me. Weird al is doing what? **Thomas** (00:15:13:19 - 00:15:28:19): He's going to Broadway, dude, he's coming to Broadway. He's making a Broadway show using some of his songs. And I can't help but think that if Weird Al did a song called Broadway, it would probably be about the way gals do things. **Chip** (00:15:28:19 - 00:15:29:21): It would have to be. **Thomas** (00:15:29:22 - 00:15:53:07): It would have the Broadway. Yeah. Rolling Stone is reporting that Weird Al Yankovic is officially bringing a Broadway musical titled Dare to Be Stupid The Weird Al Musical to New York City. It's currently in development trip. I mean, this is huge new. Do you do you think it has to star weird out? Right? If he's not in it, I'm much less excited. **Chip** (00:15:53:07 - 00:16:00:09): I feel like from what I saw, the very briefly love it. I think he is obviously involved in it. Yeah, but I don't know if he would star in it. 00:16:00:09 – 00:16:01:09 UNRESOLVED – Or not. Really. Okay. Because it's like I feel like that's a little bit more like Dancy. And not that he doesn't. By the way, have you seen Weird Alive ever? **Thomas** (00:16:08:21 - 00:16:28:07): Oh, yeah. No, a Weird Al was I mean, if he wasn't the first concert I saw, he was the first concert that I had a say in. Sing. Yeah. Jackson County Fair when I was a kid, dude. Oh. Oh, yeah. I think that year it was him and all. For one, I saw him both. **Chip** (00:16:28:08 - 00:16:32:15): I mean, how how could you how do you how do you have to see him? Both. How do you choose between those two? **Thomas** (00:16:32:15 - 00:16:36:14): I don't know, there's five nights of entertainment, I think. I think I got in for two. **Chip** (00:16:36:15 - 00:16:59:23): So here's the thing. Like, I don't want to take it anyway from this jukebox musical. I'm sure it'll be great and hilarious and fun, but does it? Do you really need the story? Weird how shows themselves are major productions? Yeah. With the video, the costume changes, the everything going on. The Hawaiian shirts. Come on, Thomas, it is. It is such a production. If you've never seen Weird Al Yankovic, it is a must. I was I have a friend, my friend Paul, who, you know, you know Paul who helped set up the studio. I think he's seen weird I like, 20 times. And I was like, really 20 times did you do it? And then I saw him. I was like, oh, I totally get it. Puts on one of the best shows ever. Yeah. So I can only imagine what the Broadway throw in a little script, throw in a little tension, a little drama, I, I, I'm all for it. **Thomas** (00:17:30:13 - 00:17:34:14): Did you ever see the Weird Al movie, his biopic? **Chip** (00:17:34:15 - 00:17:37:05): No. The one with that. Was it Daniel Radcliffe? **Thomas** (00:17:37:09 - 00:17:37:12): Yeah. **Chip** (00:17:37:12 - 00:17:39:23): Harry Potter? Yeah. No, I did not. **Thomas** (00:17:40:00 - 00:17:40:08): Yeah. **Chip** (00:17:40:11 - 00:17:41:13): I heard it's amazing. **Thomas** (00:17:41:13 - 00:17:51:23): It makes me excited for the tone. Yeah. It was just like it. Completely bogus retelling of his story because he's like, my story is boring. So we just lied. **Chip** (00:17:52:01 - 00:17:53:17): Yeah, of course. And that's the best part. **Thomas** (00:17:53:17 - 00:18:05:02): Of it. And it was very silly. I mean, like obviously a super cheap movie. They had to make it really quick. They didn't have a lot of days, so they kept it moving. But it was absurd and it was fun. **Chip** (00:18:05:06 - 00:18:27:21): He's so under celebrated. One of my favorite movies as a kid was UHF. I mean, UHF is the perfect movie. It's so funny. And it got buried. It was, I want to say, 1989, and it got buried under all of those other major blockbusters of 1989. And it man, I would I would watch a UHF the musical. Just throwing that out there. Weird. If. **Thomas** (00:18:29:04 - 00:18:29:18): Yeah. **Chip** (00:18:29:21 - 00:18:35:06): If this goes so well and they're like, give us some more Yankovic UHF the musical Tony right now. **Thomas** (00:18:35:06 - 00:18:55:23): I like it, dude. Yeah. Weird al has sold more than 12 million albums across five decades, making him the most commercially successful comedy musician and entertainment history. So he's the just certified Goat now he's bringing it to Broadway. Here is where I'm going to get a little in in the weeds and share one brief concern. **Chip** (00:18:56:01 - 00:18:56:11): I'm ready. **Thomas** (00:18:56:12 - 00:19:10:19): For it. The show is directed by Alex Timbers, who is the man behind Moulin Rouge on Broadway. And I don't know if you remember my review of Moulin Rouge on Broadway, but I love Moulin Rouge! **Chip** (00:19:10:23 - 00:19:11:22): Okay, look at you. **Thomas** (00:19:11:23 - 00:19:36:03): It was just stylistically really cool. There was a lot of cool music, great acting, but it was a big show, a big production, and I loved the way they did it. And I, you know, loved the soundtrack. I could sing it every song front to back. Then. Cut to earlier this year when we saw the play, when it came through Los Angeles and it just it just didn't come together for me, man. Fell flat. It fell a little flat, and it fell flat in ways that I'm a little concerned about, because I just felt like what I was missing was what made the movie special. They, like, kind of came in. They twisted some songs around, you know, they had to they had to adapt it for a live stage play. But like, it's like so often we see this with like season two of a hit TV show. Like there was something great going on there. And then when they tried to do it again, you realize the people in control thought the special thing was one thing, and the audience that loved it thought it was another thing. And I think they kind of lost that. **Chip** (00:20:16:14 - 00:20:25:08): What you're trying to say is that Moulin Rouge! The musical did not really. Lady marmalade, your bread. **Thomas** (00:20:25:09 - 00:20:29:20): Itchy, itchy it g na nah instead of a yeah, yeah. **Chip** (00:20:29:21 - 00:20:36:01): Oh that's right. I do remember your blog post. You did give it to Nana's. **Thomas** (00:20:36:02 - 00:20:42:20): All right dude. And it's going to be written by Scott Brown and Anthony King, the duo behind Beetlejuice. **Chip** (00:20:42:22 - 00:20:46:06): Oh. Well then. Yeah, we're we're good. We're ready to go. **Thomas** (00:20:46:07 - 00:21:05:01): Okay, so songs confirmed for the production include White and Nerdy, Amish Paradise and Eat It. Yeah. Just from this sampling, it seems like they're leaning a little more current with Weird Al's tunes than revisiting the past. Eat. It's classic. Eat. It's from the Prime. **Chip** (00:21:05:01 - 00:21:19:14): And the the title track, which you would hope would be in there. Dare to Be Stupid is one of my favorites. Like that was like an old Devo sort of throwback kind of situation. So that's an older one. But yeah, it seems like there are more more of his newer catalog. **Thomas** (00:21:19:16 - 00:21:39:12): I mean, maybe they're trying to be a little splash year for more of a culture audience, but like white nerdy and Amish Paradise, I mean, those are still squarely like I mean, white and nerdy is the newest one, Amish Paradise, though. I mean, that's from 2000 at the. **Chip** (00:21:39:15 - 00:21:42:21): Oh, yeah, that's probably late 90s, I would say. Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (00:21:42:22 - 00:21:47:06): Because like Criminal Minds. Gangsta's Paradise. **Chip** (00:21:47:07 - 00:21:48:21): Yep. Dangerous minds. Dangerous minds. **Thomas** (00:21:48:22 - 00:21:49:17): Dangerous minds. **Chip** (00:21:49:18 - 00:21:50:15): Criminal minds. **Thomas** (00:21:50:18 - 00:21:53:07): Is a TV show. Yeah. Danger. **Chip** (00:21:53:09 - 00:21:55:21): Which I would watch as a musical. As a jukebox musical. **Thomas** (00:21:55:23 - 00:21:57:09): Oh, yeah. That would be great. **Chip** (00:21:57:10 - 00:22:15:21): He put out, I want to say it was maybe like 2000. It was about ten, ten or so years ago. He put out like in one week, just released like five videos. I think of, like brand new songs. And the one he do you remember foil? He, he redid the Lord's song Royals, but it was about tinfoil. **Thomas** (00:22:15:22 - 00:22:18:06): Oh, I haven't heard the song, but I do remember Royals. **Chip** (00:22:18:07 - 00:22:33:23): Oh my God. Oh, you got to check it out and watch the video because it's funny. It's he's talking about tinfoil. It's it's got to be full and it's a and then it just takes a dark turn halfway through and it's a it's hilarious. **Thomas** (00:22:34:01 - 00:22:45:08): I'm into it. Well dude, that's all I got on this. I am just pumped up. I think it's going to be great. It's it's finally something that might get Chip and Thomas Buns back in a Broadway chair. **Chip** (00:22:45:12 - 00:22:46:06): In a Broadway. **Thomas** (00:22:46:07 - 00:22:51:19): Yeah. After all this time, I'm into this time. You ever been to a show on Broadway? Proper? **Chip** (00:22:51:19 - 00:23:02:04): Chip I have, I saw we took some school trips when I was in high school. We saw Les Mis, and we saw. What's the Vietnam one? **Thomas** (00:23:02:06 - 00:23:02:22): Miss Saigon. **Chip** (00:23:03:02 - 00:23:04:11): Saigon? Yes. **Thomas** (00:23:04:13 - 00:23:06:04): You saw that with your school? **Chip** (00:23:06:07 - 00:23:07:07): Yeah, I did, yeah. **Thomas** (00:23:07:07 - 00:23:09:13): Chip, that's a horrifying play. **Chip** (00:23:09:15 - 00:23:29:01): That is. Yeah, man. Put put music to that. We actually sang a miss Saigon medley in like, inquire in high school. And then my theater director, she took us on a field trip. It was like over the summer, and we. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:23:29:03 - 00:23:31:21): I mean, this is this is a depressed lady, chip. **Chip** (00:23:31:23 - 00:23:36:16): Yep. Yeah. She really. And then and then and Les Mis, we started out with Les Mis and then went to. **Thomas** (00:23:36:17 - 00:23:47:05): And then it got worse. Yeah. I'll choose ship. I'm sorry. There's some fun stuff too. I saw, I saw the Book of Mormon on Broadway. **Chip** (00:23:47:06 - 00:23:50:03): Didn't see I saw that in Philadelphia. Amazing, amazing. **Thomas** (00:23:50:04 - 00:23:54:08): Yeah, yeah, I mean, it just just letting you know there can be a lighter side to some of the stuff. **Chip** (00:23:54:09 - 00:23:57:13): Yeah. You can't. It's not all about death and destruction. **Thomas** (00:23:57:13 - 00:24:17:13): Weird al. Congratulations, dude. We love you so much. Thanks for keeping the Hawaiians fly and the music crisp and just being hilarious. Hilarious for decades. Who's who's aged better in comedy than Weird Al like you. You take any stand up album from the 80s? **Chip** (00:24:17:14 - 00:24:18:00): No. **Thomas** (00:24:18:01 - 00:24:23:10): Play it today. Compared to any of Weird Al's albums from the 80s, Play It today. Does not. I have to say it's. 00:24:23:14 – 00:24:24:15 UNRESOLVED – Fresh air, baby. **Chip** (00:24:24:16 - 00:24:52:09): It totally, totally is. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. What he's doing is and I'm so glad that he got his flowers, as they say in more recent years, like, because he did go through that phase where he was kind of like maybe almost like a punchline, like silly or whatever. And then and then the people I think what happened is the people who grew up appreciating him became entertainers, and they're like, no, Weird Al is a genius, and he needs to be treated as such. Yeah, dude, I love it. **Thomas** (00:24:53:14 - 00:25:23:22): All right, Chip, next story from Weird Al to weird contests, Maui just clawed its way back to the number one Hawaiian Island title after getting dunked to third last year. Okay, Hawaii Magazine, which I do find a lot of interesting things and is reporting that Maui has reclaimed the number one spot in its 2026 Reader's Choice Awards, the island's biggest annual popularity contest voted on entirely by the magazine's readership. I mean, I just have to wonder who care? Like, what does this matter? **Chip** (00:25:29:20 - 00:25:32:19): It's Hawaii. Every island is amazing. **Thomas** (00:25:33:00 - 00:25:33:19): Yeah. **Chip** (00:25:33:21 - 00:25:35:19): Why are we making them fight? **Thomas** (00:25:35:21 - 00:25:49:13): Why are we putting that up there? Like, I think there's also probably a lot of regional pride. It's like a bunch of people from somewhere else coming in and voting on, like, their favorite county in Southern California. Like. Right. **Chip** (00:25:50:20 - 00:26:06:15): Yeah. Transplants or tourists like. And I wonder what the beef is. Okay, here's the question. What's the beef between people? Let's just say in a Wahoo versus Maui versus the Big Island. Yeah. Like, is there island pride or is it just the island's total? **Thomas** (00:26:06:16 - 00:26:07:10): I think there's. **Chip** (00:26:07:12 - 00:26:10:08): I would like to think that it's just the island's total, but I don't know. **Thomas** (00:26:10:09 - 00:26:20:04): Yeah. I mean I think there's definitely a feeling of we're all one there and this is me speculating, so I'm probably talking out of my butt. But each island does have a unique vibe. Yeah. **Chip** (00:26:20:05 - 00:26:20:23): For sure. **Thomas** (00:26:21:01 - 00:26:44:03): Like Kauai is the garden Isle. It rains the most there. It's the greenest. It's very beautiful, but I think it's the least populated. So it's like slower. Everything shuts down earlier. It's just like real chill. Oahu is the city island. That's where we went. It's the meeting place. It's where everybody comes together. The Big Island is kind of the country. Like there's ranches out there. There's a lot of space. There's a lot of land. And, like, it reminds me so much of, like, a tropical version of southern Oregon where I grew up. Okay. Like, I would just, like, drive through it. I was just like, this is green or southern Oregon, I like it. And then Maui is kind of a mix of all of them, in a way, minus a Wahoo. It's like kind of a mix of Kauai and Hawaii, like the Big Island, in my opinion. It's like it's both. There is some space, but there is also like some, you know, luxury stuff. There's luxury resorts. It kind of just depends on what you want in the moment. Jeff. **Chip** (00:27:24:21 - 00:27:26:17): So why are we making them fight? **Thomas** (00:27:26:18 - 00:27:44:00): Why are we making them fight? Kauai landed at number two. Solid second place runner up. Okay. And yeah, dude, I guess that that is all there is to say about that. Kind of just like a fun thing to do, but it does strike. It still strikes me as an odd thing to do, right? **Chip** (00:27:44:01 - 00:27:45:12): It's like. **Thomas** (00:27:45:14 - 00:27:52:02): It's like Maui famously had some horrific fires happen. **Chip** (00:27:52:04 - 00:27:55:12): And maybe that maybe that's what they were. They were given it sort of like the, **Thomas** (00:27:55:14 - 00:27:56:10): Well, you dropped it. You drop its ranking because there was a tragedy. There, right? **Chip** (00:27:59:20 - 00:28:00:16): That's not fair. **Thomas** (00:28:00:17 - 00:28:02:00): It's not nice. 00:28:02:00 – 00:28:03:03 UNRESOLVED – No. **Chip** (00:28:03:05 - 00:28:05:21): It's just it's insult to injury is what I'm saying. 00:28:05:22 – 00:28:06:10 UNRESOLVED – I was. **Thomas** (00:28:06:10 - 00:28:12:10): Watching some. I think you should leave the other day. And it was the crash. More sketch where Santa is the action star. **Chip** (00:28:12:12 - 00:28:13:13): It's so funny. It's so funny. **Thomas** (00:28:14:23 - 00:28:26:06): But just like I just said, it's not nice. And he's just like, tattoos aren't bad, but it's not nice. Yeah. He sees it's not behavior. **Chip** (00:28:26:08 - 00:28:27:12): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:28:27:14 - 00:28:29:22): I don't care. But it's not nice. **Chip** (00:28:29:23 - 00:28:33:02): It's not nice. **Thomas** (00:28:33:04 - 00:28:35:10): Tattoos can get you on the naughty list. **Chip** (00:28:35:12 - 00:28:39:02): The thing I will say about Hawaii. All of the islands. Thomas, it's a cosmic gumbo. **Thomas** (00:28:42:21 - 00:28:46:00): It's a cosmic gumbo. **Chip** (00:28:46:02 - 00:28:52:02): And you and I are always joking about how it's a cosmic gumbo. **Thomas** (00:28:52:04 - 00:29:03:01): Oh, my God, so good. I saw an interview where Conan O'Brien was just, like, trying to explain the hot dog car crashing into the store. **Chip** (00:29:03:03 - 00:29:04:17): I mean, how do you put that into words? **Thomas** (00:29:04:23 - 00:29:26:21): But he was just like, you can't. And he's like, there's no formula to it. He's just like, I just know that I love that it's there. Yes. And, you know, I felt very seen by Conan at that moment the way he described that. Yeah. So here we are. It's like Maui had a nice bring back. I hope everybody is, you know, recovering from the terrible things that happened there. And, you know, if, if you can take comfort and being listed number one island on Hawaii Magazine's 2026 Readers Choice Awards, take comfort in it, please. You've been through a lot, Maui. **Chip** (00:29:42:16 - 00:29:50:20): Picking your favorite island is like picking your favorite child. And in picking your favorite child, I will say mine is Tyler. He's the best of my sons. **Thomas** (00:29:50:20 - 00:29:54:11): I think everybody has a favorite child. You just don't say it publicly. **Chip** (00:29:54:11 - 00:29:56:02): You do not. You do not announce it. **Thomas** (00:29:56:02 - 00:30:00:03): You definitely don't ask you to the neighbors to guess which one of your kids is your favorite. **Chip** (00:30:00:03 - 00:30:05:02): And you don't make them have a little talent show for the neighbors to make them decide either. **Thomas** (00:30:05:04 - 00:30:14:00): Yeah, actually. Maybe this is good. Yeah, yeah. Best kid in a family talent show voted on by the neighbors. I like. **Chip** (00:30:14:00 - 00:30:14:18): It, I'm in. **Thomas** (00:30:14:19 - 00:30:28:07): I changed, I changed my mind. Okay, moving on to a little bit of a sour note. The fruit everybody's hunting for this season. Chip is already running out. **Chip** (00:30:28:09 - 00:30:30:10): And we're just at the beginning of the season. **Thomas** (00:30:30:10 - 00:30:45:19): I'm talking about the leash, fruit and good gravy. It's skyrocketing in popularity, but the supply is dwindling, dude. And there's not really anything in store to turn that around. **Chip** (00:30:45:19 - 00:30:52:16): Because the trees I, I read about this that the trees don't produce fruits for like 20 years. I think it is. **Thomas** (00:30:52:16 - 00:30:58:18): I think they produce fruits before then potentially, but they don't reach full maturity to where they're like at their. **Chip** (00:30:58:21 - 00:31:00:02): At the height of their powers. **Thomas** (00:31:00:02 - 00:31:07:18): For 20 years. So if you want, if you have a leaky fruit problem, you got a plant now to solve it in 2046. **Chip** (00:31:08:00 - 00:31:11:11): I mean, hey, if we're still around, there's going to be plenty of lychees there. **Thomas** (00:31:11:12 - 00:31:40:16): Beyond our 60s. Finally enjoying a slightly sour, tangy fruit. So Springer Kyle, the owner of Family Farms in Hawaii, sounding the alarm on lychee season, which runs May through September, warning that finding the fruit is getting harder every year as trees disappear and demand climbs. Lychee fruits In Hawaii, stores are now hovering around $7 a pound. **Chip** (00:31:40:16 - 00:31:44:14): Chip worth your weight in gold? **Thomas** (00:31:44:15 - 00:31:46:14): I don't know, I think it's interesting, like. **Chip** (00:31:46:19 - 00:31:49:00): It's just okay. **Thomas** (00:31:49:02 - 00:32:08:15): I can't I can't really remember off the top of my head, but I do. If they don't have lychees, they have a version of it. At that farm we stop by. Okay. In. Yep. In Oahu on the, Why am I blanking on the name of it? It's one of my favorite places in the world. Like have a t shirt from there. Do you remember the name banana Breads, plantation iced tea? **Chip** (00:32:11:15 - 00:32:16:07): I mean, it was. It was amazing. I remember everything about kookoo. There you go. **Thomas** (00:32:16:08 - 00:32:27:08): Thank you. So they had some lychee trees. I believe they have so many trees. You can just walk back through the whole farm and see them. But it's kind of cool to just see how things grow there on the island and be. **Chip** (00:32:27:14 - 00:32:34:07): Is that why you ran back there with a sack and you're like, hey, don't tell anybody I'm going to be gone for 40 minutes? **Thomas** (00:32:34:12 - 00:32:34:21): Yeah. **Chip** (00:32:34:22 - 00:32:41:07): And then you came back with a sack full of something, and you ran into your car and put something in the trunk. Is that. Is that. **Thomas** (00:32:41:08 - 00:32:48:20): Yeah. And I said, it's. I said it's not a body. And till this day, I promise that's true. Was not a body. **Chip** (00:32:48:22 - 00:33:10:03): I just am a little worried this summer. Like just growing up here outside of Philadelphia. Just not getting the same, having the same summer experience without these lychees like lychees, like, you know, my mom's not going to be making lychee pie that could be cooling out on the the windowsill. We're not going to have like a at all just in time. **Thomas** (00:33:10:05 - 00:33:12:17): Can you imagine a Philadelphia summer without lychee? **Chip** (00:33:12:18 - 00:33:17:13): I can't imagine it, you know. I mean, there's going to be no lychee water ice. **Thomas** (00:33:17:15 - 00:33:18:21): Lychee water ice. **Chip** (00:33:18:22 - 00:33:31:05): I mean, and then this, this Halloween, it doesn't sound like the the neighborhood kids are going to be bobbing for lychees this, this Halloween. So, it's it might it might be a rough year. **Thomas** (00:33:31:06 - 00:33:42:17): To put a little spin on the date issue. The 20 years, the less trees that are producing at full harvest now were planted when Bill Clinton was in office. **Chip** (00:33:42:21 - 00:33:50:04): I did not have lychees on that tree. There it is. **Thomas** (00:33:51:08 - 00:33:55:06): Once again, another Hawaii Hawaii Magazine header. **Chip** (00:33:55:06 - 00:34:12:07): I hope that I hope that they they get back in, you know, start growing them again. Maybe okay, maybe Oahu or the big Island really goes for a big lychee orchard push. And in a couple of years they're going to be back to number one on the best island of Hawaii. **Thomas** (00:34:12:08 - 00:34:18:20): That's true if you want if you want to figure out how to edge out Maui, you get your lychee production sky high. **Chip** (00:34:18:21 - 00:34:23:00): You keep on going by low sell. Hi, guys. Come on. We we know this. **Thomas** (00:34:23:01 - 00:34:29:05): Come on, baby, it's simple economics. Yeah. Next story. Grand Wailea gets a glow up buddy. **Chip** (00:34:29:06 - 00:34:30:01): Glowing up. **Thomas** (00:34:30:02 - 00:34:54:22): Recently, a writer who went to this hotel when she was like a younger person revisited it years later after being away for a while, and it's been totally remodeled. It's the Grand Wailea. It's right there in Maui. And I think a lot of people who haven't been to Maui before, but have maybe seen The White Lotus, okay, will kind of appreciate that. The Grand Wailea is right next door to the White Lotus. Maui. **Chip** (00:35:00:00 - 00:35:00:17): Oh, perfect. **Thomas** (00:35:00:18 - 00:35:30:17): Like they literally share a border. So it's like it's that kind of area. It is so nice. It's so cool. I believe I believe yeah they have a this really cool bar that's outdoors and it's got a fish tank is the whole bar. It goes around the whole bar. And just like it's a clear glass top. Yeah. And there's just tropical fish like swimming right under your drink the whole time. It's very, very cool. **Chip** (00:35:32:12 - 00:35:35:17): Really cool for you. Not as cool for the fish. **Thomas** (00:35:35:19 - 00:35:36:08): I don't know. **Chip** (00:35:36:09 - 00:35:48:06): I mean, just be it. Be okay. Just imagine being a flounder just flying around like your entire existence is just swimming past drunk people's crotches. You know, I don't know. **Thomas** (00:35:48:06 - 00:35:54:10): If I don't know, I think you could be in the ocean, or you could be dropped into a never ending episode of cheers. **Chip** (00:35:54:10 - 00:35:55:02): Chip. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:35:55:02 - 00:35:56:14): That's tropical cheers. **Chip** (00:35:56:16 - 00:35:58:01): Just like. 00:35:58:02 – 00:35:58:18 UNRESOLVED – Blah blah blah blah. I retract my statement. **Thomas** (00:36:00:05 - 00:36:02:05): Hammered. People are probably tapping that glass. **Chip** (00:36:02:06 - 00:36:03:02): Yeah, that's true. **Thomas** (00:36:03:03 - 00:36:13:00): They probably are. And the drinks are strong there. I had one drink at that bar and was like, feel feeling it. **Chip** (00:36:13:01 - 00:36:14:18): It was a margarita. I believe. **Thomas** (00:36:14:20 - 00:36:21:01): It could. It could have been not in this economy, though. Not with this shortage. Not at seven bucks a pound. Lychee margaritas. **Chip** (00:36:21:02 - 00:36:21:19): No, thanks. **Thomas** (00:36:21:19 - 00:36:50:21): So it's now a Waldorf Astoria resort, and this writer went there for the first time since childhood to find it completely transformed after a multi-million dollar renovation. The property sits on 40 oceanfront acres and holds more than 800 guest accommodations. This place is a city unto itself. I stayed there last year with my family. It was awesome. I freaking loved it. The renovation didn't just refresh rooms, it repositioned the whole identity of the resort, rebranding it under the new Astoria Waldorf Astoria flag while trying to honor what made it a bucket list destination for decades. And this includes probably one of the biggest remodels I've ever heard of a $55 million, spa redo. **Chip** (00:37:17:22 - 00:37:23:04): Big steam room. Thomas. That is a large steam room that is a sauna made of gold. **Thomas** (00:37:23:04 - 00:37:28:23): It's the largest spa in Hawaii, spanning over 50,000ft². **Chip** (00:37:29:01 - 00:37:36:13): Wow. I mean, yeah, the amount of relaxation that that place pumps out on a daily basis. Just pumping out relaxation. **Thomas** (00:37:36:13 - 00:37:52:01): I just couldn't imagine how, like, anything could justify $55 million price tag, especially for a spa. Like, how much is it going to bring in? Until I took my wife to go get a treatment there and it is not cheap. **Chip** (00:37:52:01 - 00:37:54:05): And you paid half of that right there? Yeah. **Thomas** (00:37:54:06 - 00:38:04:03): Yeah, dude, it's super, super expensive. And I guess it draws like higher end people to the property. And they got to compete with the Four Seasons next door, which is the White Lotus. **Chip** (00:38:04:03 - 00:38:08:12): And they're going to the Jazzfest soon. So they, they gotta they gotta look good. **Thomas** (00:38:08:13 - 00:38:16:03): You gotta look good. You gotta feel loose. Dude. Can you imagine not being freshly massaged and showing up to an island jazz festival? **Chip** (00:38:16:04 - 00:38:21:23): I mean, just being all at a island jazz festival and you're all just edgy? No, not at all. **Thomas** (00:38:22:01 - 00:38:30:17): Nobody. The Grand Wailea originally opened in 1991 and cost $600 million to build, though. **Chip** (00:38:30:18 - 00:38:33:11): That's that's a lot, especially in 1991. Money. **Thomas** (00:38:33:15 - 00:38:39:15): Here's my question, chip in 1991. What did you think was a lot of money. **Chip** (00:38:39:17 - 00:38:41:19): Like $2,000. **Thomas** (00:38:41:20 - 00:38:56:04): 2000? Oh, dude, I was so much I think maybe we were a couple of years apart here. But I remember in 1991, video games cost $25 like a Nintendo game. And I thought that was $1 billion. **Chip** (00:38:56:05 - 00:38:57:00): Of course. **Thomas** (00:38:57:02 - 00:39:06:09): Yeah, because it's so unattainable for a child to earn $25. Yeah. Especially back then, I had to save up for a long time to get a. **Chip** (00:39:06:09 - 00:39:07:23): Lot of lawns to mow. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:39:08:00 - 00:39:16:17): It's a lot of lawns to mow, baby. But yeah, just to think that that same time in history, somebody was like $600 million. I'll build that little. **Chip** (00:39:16:19 - 00:39:20:08): By the way. Okay. I was just thinking back at my first job, quote unquote job. **Thomas** (00:39:20:08 - 00:39:21:14): Was this weed whacking? **Chip** (00:39:21:18 - 00:39:21:22): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:39:21:23 - 00:39:23:16): Basically in your high socks. **Chip** (00:39:23:16 - 00:39:43:09): I yes. I didn't do any weed whacker this job. It was it was before I started the official landscaping with the guy. I just mode a lady's lawn in my neighborhood like she. Yeah. And so it was this. This all this retired lady. She's very sweet. But, like, it was always so shady. Like, I would mow her lawn and then she would just leave me. I think it was $20. I think I got. **Thomas** (00:39:45:06 - 00:39:46:00): Wow. **Chip** (00:39:46:02 - 00:40:04:00): Maybe it was ten. I forget back then, but she would just leave it under a rock in the back because, like, sometimes she'd be out and it just seemed like a drug deal. Yeah. Every time I did it, I felt like I just. Hey, I put in a hard day's work. I just, you know. Yeah, the lawn. But then it it felt like I was. There was a drop off point that I had to, you know, like there was a bag and there was a. Yeah, it was very Big Lebowski. **Thomas** (00:40:11:00 - 00:40:14:02): It's very The Wire. Yes. **Chip** (00:40:14:08 - 00:40:15:04): That's what it felt like. **Thomas** (00:40:15:04 - 00:40:16:18): Question. Did she have a dog? **Chip** (00:40:16:19 - 00:40:17:16): She did not. **Thomas** (00:40:17:22 - 00:40:21:00): So you weren't even dealing with feces and you had a ten spot. **Chip** (00:40:21:01 - 00:40:22:00): Got a ten spot baby. **Thomas** (00:40:22:01 - 00:40:44:02): Yeah. That's a pretty big deal. I remember distinctly like, first mow of the summer. Same situation we had, like, a woman who lived across the street was a little bit, you know, on the older side, needed some help with the yard, and she would pay me to come over the lawn. But this one year, she didn't activate the service until the yard had gotten insane. **Chip** (00:40:44:03 - 00:40:44:20): Right. **Thomas** (00:40:44:21 - 00:40:53:17): So it was ten bucks a mo. But I really wanted the new Alanis Morissette CD, Jagged Little. **Chip** (00:40:53:17 - 00:40:55:14): Pill, Jagged Little Pill. **Thomas** (00:40:55:16 - 00:41:15:02): And I had just calculated like, you know, big math for a kid at the time, if I mow her lawn twice and don't spend any of the money, I can go buy that cosmic gumbo of a CD. Isn't it ironic? And I won't have to just keep listening to the two songs that I've recorded off the radio on my radio cassette recorder machine. **Chip** (00:41:15:02 - 00:41:17:20): Which were You Ought to Know and. **Thomas** (00:41:17:22 - 00:41:21:06): You, you, you know, oh. **Chip** (00:41:21:08 - 00:41:23:18): What was the what was the other one? Was it ironic? **Thomas** (00:41:23:20 - 00:41:52:12): Ironic was definitely in the mix. I mean, there was probably five singles. I don't remember what was playing at the time when I got it right, but I think I think it had just got some Grammy knobs too. And I was just like, okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go get this CD with my own money. And it took me so long, and it was such a trial of picking up a full winner's worth of dog crap and then whacking down some knee high grass in her backyard. **Chip** (00:41:52:14 - 00:41:53:16): Yeah. Go ahead. **Thomas** (00:41:53:20 - 00:42:01:18): That she, She gave me 20 bucks for that first mo chip, and I got to go and get the CD that day. **Chip** (00:42:01:20 - 00:42:02:22): Oh, Sam. **Thomas** (00:42:02:22 - 00:42:03:19): Goody, baby. **Chip** (00:42:03:23 - 00:42:05:16): All I have to say. Thank you. India. **Thomas** (00:42:05:17 - 00:42:11:05): Thank you. Andy. 00:42:11:07 – 00:42:12:09 UNRESOLVED – Yeah. **Chip** (00:42:12:11 - 00:42:16:14): You were. You were head over feet, right? Is that what head over feet? Is that. **Thomas** (00:42:16:15 - 00:42:19:00): Head over? **Chip** (00:42:19:02 - 00:42:20:11): Because it wasn't head over heels, for. Whatever reason. He. Was head over and over the. **Thomas** (00:42:25:18 - 00:42:29:17): Yeah, something like that. Something close. Yeah. I mean, they don't make them like that anymore, Chip. **Chip** (00:42:29:18 - 00:42:30:12): They do not. **Thomas** (00:42:30:13 - 00:42:44:02): Okay. No. So that's that's it for the grand Wylie glow up. And just. Have you ever had a spot like that in your life where, like, you remember it so vividly as one way, and then you come back and it's completely different than what you remembered? **Chip** (00:42:44:02 - 00:42:44:19): Chuck E cheese. **Thomas** (00:42:44:20 - 00:42:50:08): Chuck E cheese. So you remember it being a Paradise, and then you grew up and you were just like, what's your impression now? **Chip** (00:42:50:09 - 00:43:11:12): Well, I will say, I think Chuck E cheese did change. Like the I remember going to Chuck E cheese. This is my grand Willet. Yeah. We had a really cool Chuck E cheese. Like, it was like a nightclub. It was like a Dave and Busters kind of situation. There was like a but there was like a showroom that had the animatronic band, and then they had a big ball pit and they had this, like, basically like this. Mazie climbed through like a fun house or whatever. And then there was like another place with like these, like animatronic things in a tree that sang to you. And it was just like. And then there were games, just so much fun. And then I went to one recently, like more recently. And it's just like a storefront that's just a pizza shop that has the band and then some video games, like, that's all it was like it was just it wasn't a majestic land of. **Thomas** (00:43:37:06 - 00:43:39:03): Like, yeah, it's a city, Chuckie. Cheese. 00:43:39:04 – 00:43:40:16 UNRESOLVED – Yes. Oh. **Chip** (00:43:40:19 - 00:43:55:21): I told you this story. I so my buddy Johnny. Good times. This is the one that the one that I went to. Although I've been to some just for, like my nephew's birthday party and all, but we, I took him to this one in South Philly, not too far from where I live right now. And we went. He had a he had a little brother like the Big Brother big sister program. Yeah. And so we took his little brother to Chucky Cheese. And on the way out of this Chuck E cheese Thomas in South Philadelphia, there was a it's in a strip mall. So there was there was just like a trash can. That was outside on the sidewalk on the strip mall, and there was a folded up piece of notebook paper sitting on top of the trash can. And I was like, just on a whim. I was like, let me open up this piece of paper because it wasn't in the trash can. It was sitting on the top of it, and I was like, let me just open up this notebook paper. See? See what's it looks like something was scribbled on it. So it was a note from a woman. **Thomas** (00:44:33:12 - 00:44:34:03): Yeah. **Chip** (00:44:34:03 - 00:44:53:11): To another woman. This is in front of the Chuck E cheese, telling her how much of an amazing experience she had with the two husbands and their foursome, and how in graphic detail what she enjoyed about it and how they want to do it again. **Thomas** (00:44:53:14 - 00:44:54:02): Wow. **Chip** (00:44:54:03 - 00:44:58:01): Outside of a Chuck E cheese. **Thomas** (00:44:58:02 - 00:45:12:16): What's going on in your life where, like you were by a Chuck E cheese, and you either got that note and are disposing of it, or you wrote that note and lost the goal by a pizza rat. Yep. To to say you had a good. **Chip** (00:45:12:16 - 00:45:21:20): Time actually deliver it. Yeah, but that's the day that I learned that the E and Chuck E cheese stands for erotic. **Thomas** (00:45:21:22 - 00:45:26:19): Beautiful, dude. All right. Yeah. Well, that's quite, quite an adult view of Chuck E cheese chip. **Chip** (00:45:26:19 - 00:45:27:16): Yes it is. **Thomas** (00:45:27:17 - 00:45:33:02): This is the last for the algo story, and I'm. I'm fired up about this buddy. **Chip** (00:45:33:03 - 00:45:33:16): Who isn't. **Thomas** (00:45:33:16 - 00:45:39:00): There's a tiny island in Scotland throwing the biggest whiskey festival you can even imagine. Chip. **Chip** (00:45:39:00 - 00:45:41:03): I'm all I'm all in on this story, dude. **Thomas** (00:45:41:03 - 00:45:45:20): We're having a lot of festivals today. It's very festival set. Are you feeling festive, chip? **Chip** (00:45:45:21 - 00:45:49:20): I'm feeling festive this weekend. Coming up in Philadelphia is the Italian Market Festival. 00:45:49:21 – 00:45:50:23 UNRESOLVED – Oh my gosh. **Thomas** (00:45:51:00 - 00:45:52:17): Is that where they grease the pole? **Chip** (00:45:52:22 - 00:46:02:00): It is. They grease the pole and they try to climb the greased pole that is happening this Saturday and Sunday. It's. We used to live a block from it. Now we live. Yeah, maybe like a 20 minute walk. **Thomas** (00:46:02:01 - 00:46:03:12): You can't even smell the grease from your. House. **Chip** (00:46:03:20 - 00:46:05:06): And even smell the grease anymore. We used. 00:46:05:06 – 00:46:05:15 UNRESOLVED – To. But man, I'm just so excited for it. It's. **Thomas** (00:46:08:14 - 00:46:11:01): What kind of Greece are they using? Their a nice lard. **Chip** (00:46:11:02 - 00:46:20:01): It's actually funny that you say that I saw a real yesterday. Somebody talking about it. It's from the one butcher shop is there's lard that they use. Yes. **Thomas** (00:46:20:02 - 00:46:22:23): Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, that was a guess. **Chip** (00:46:23:02 - 00:46:30:01): But it is. It is festival season and I love the Italian market festival. But this one might take the cake. **Thomas** (00:46:30:03 - 00:46:57:10): Oh, yeah. It's it's a little different twist, but basically, facial la facial. The Isle of Whiskey Festival runs May 22nd through May 31st on the Isle of Ely in Scotland. Dude, like reading these words. They don't. They don't use all the letters. They put a lot of letters in there that you just throw out. **Chip** (00:46:57:11 - 00:46:58:20): And it's a lot of vowels. **Thomas** (00:46:59:01 - 00:47:22:04): It's inefficient. I do it, and it's the 40th edition of this festival that started in 1986. Dude. Yeah. So like the Isle of the Isle of Ely, Isle of Ely spelled much differently than it sounds. Yep. Is the Mecca of super PD whiskeys. Dude, are you familiar? Have you ever had the scotch that tastes like the peat? **Chip** (00:47:22:04 - 00:47:26:04): I have not know. I have a big whiskey fan, but I've never had had that really. **Thomas** (00:47:26:04 - 00:47:30:21): Like okay, so like this is like Laphroaig. Okay. Or **Chip** (00:47:30:23 - 00:47:32:04): Lagavulin maybe. **Thomas** (00:47:32:05 - 00:48:11:13): Log of which is the Nick Offerman. Yep. Whiskey vehicle. Yeah. They're all from this one little island, dude. And they make all of these, like, very earthy, smoky PD scotches. And for one week a year, for 40 years, they've, like, opened up the gates of these different distilleries to have this festival. And it's like, not really organized the way you would think of Festival is like every day of the festival is just the a different distillery opens their doors and lets everybody come in for whatever offerings they plan for that day. **Chip** (00:48:11:15 - 00:48:26:02): In their defense. Thomas, you're having a 11 day festival of whiskey. Yeah, all the organization in the world isn't going to hold up once. Yeah, once the party gets started, it doesn't matter if there's an itinerary or not. **Thomas** (00:48:26:03 - 00:48:36:02): People who are a huge whiskey fans can't even control where they go to the restroom half the time, you know? Right. That's an intense drink to be a huge fan of. **Chip** (00:48:36:02 - 00:48:43:12): They're not planning an excursion. Yeah, you're there on the bog drinking some whiskey. Feeling good? **Thomas** (00:48:43:13 - 00:49:08:05): Yeah, but it does sound like, if that's what you're into, aside from just, like, you know, people being sloshed. The distilleries, some of the gates open at 10 a.m. and you just walk right in, they're going to have tastings, they're going to have special drops. A lot of people, like distilleries make a specific offering, a type of bottle just for this event, and you can only buy it there, right? There's a bunch of food, whatever they think is going to pair well with their stuff. Scottish food. It sounds like just an event that should be sponsored by Tom's. Just whiskey and Scottish food all day long. **Chip** (00:49:19:19 - 00:49:23:03): I think you're right. Tums. Maalox. Just come in there with your branding. **Thomas** (00:49:23:06 - 00:49:37:22): Yeah, yeah. And do they overtake this island? 3000. A little over 3000 people live there year round. Yeah, and thousands and thousands of people come to the island just for this. **Chip** (00:49:37:23 - 00:49:49:23): It sounds like one of the greatest festivals ever. Yeah, or this is just a Wicker Man situation, and they're tricking us to come onto the island. That's. That's all I'm going to say. **Thomas** (00:49:49:23 - 00:49:59:03): It may be a trick, but I think the. Even if it's a complete crap show, even if it doesn't work, it was disaster. Most of the people that came aren't going to remember. **Chip** (00:49:59:03 - 00:50:07:10): That's true. Oh, how how was the whiskey festival? Great. Do you want to see my pictures? Do you want to see 34 pictures of my feet? **Thomas** (00:50:07:10 - 00:50:08:16): My feet covered in peat. **Chip** (00:50:08:17 - 00:50:16:02): Yeah. They don't need, yeah, they don't need. There's no there's no jazz offerings that week. There doesn't need to be. **Thomas** (00:50:16:08 - 00:50:19:12): No I bet I bet there's a lot of fun music though I don't know. **Chip** (00:50:19:14 - 00:50:20:12): There has, there has. **Thomas** (00:50:20:12 - 00:50:23:00): To be. This is one of the it's easy to joke about it. It's one. **Chip** (00:50:23:00 - 00:50:24:04): Of the nights. **Thomas** (00:50:24:04 - 00:50:27:04): It might be a lot of fun. I would love to go to Scotland to I've never been. **Chip** (00:50:27:05 - 00:50:34:07): Oh, so would I. I got a little Scottish heritage and I would. I would love to. I've been to Ireland and Scotland would be. Would be amazing. **Thomas** (00:50:34:08 - 00:50:55:14): Yeah, yeah. So like Laphroaig was probably, you know, when I was drinking more of this type of beverage was probably my favorite from that world. Yeah. And each bottle of Laphroaig comes with like a little deed to a lease on one square foot of the distillery. **Chip** (00:50:55:14 - 00:50:56:14): Oh. That's amazing. **Thomas** (00:50:56:14 - 00:51:04:17): It's, like, very much fictional ownership, but, like, you have a lease to, like, it's technically like your square foot, I guess. **Chip** (00:51:04:19 - 00:51:05:14): Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (00:51:05:15 - 00:51:19:21): And it makes you feel a little ownership. And I don't know what happened, though. It used to be very expensive and the price is dropped dramatically on it. At least the last time I checked. Like I haven't bought a bottle and I. **Chip** (00:51:19:21 - 00:51:21:14): Don't know if they're mass producing now. A little. **Thomas** (00:51:21:14 - 00:51:26:18): Bit more. Ten years. Yeah, maybe. Maybe they went up. Maybe the market fell out a little bit. I know the booze industry is hurting. **Chip** (00:51:26:18 - 00:51:28:05): So yeah. So they yeah there's. **Thomas** (00:51:28:05 - 00:51:32:21): More. But that can't be good for the isle. Yeah. The Isle of Ely. **Chip** (00:51:32:22 - 00:51:33:19): No, not at all. **Thomas** (00:51:33:20 - 00:51:42:19): I'm intrigued by this event. And it seems. It seems fun. It seems cool. It also seems like the potential for an absolute disaster. **Chip** (00:51:42:19 - 00:51:46:17): I got bogged down at the Isle of Ely. You know what I mean? **Thomas** (00:51:46:17 - 00:51:48:05): Like that could be on a TikTok. **Chip** (00:51:48:05 - 00:51:49:06): I think that's it right there. **Thomas** (00:51:49:06 - 00:51:57:19): It'd be a little chilly. They say you got to watch out for the weather, chip. A lot of people come. A lot of people will stay off island and just come on island during the day for the festival. **Chip** (00:51:57:20 - 00:52:02:01): Yeah, but I could see you getting you could get in fogged in and not being able to get out, you know. **Thomas** (00:52:02:02 - 00:52:11:05): Yeah. Or it's just like torrential downpour for an hour. Then it's hot the next hour, then you come back and you're Bogdan. **Chip** (00:52:11:05 - 00:52:11:21): Bogdan baby. **Thomas** (00:52:11:22 - 00:52:13:04): Fogged in and Bogdan don't. **Chip** (00:52:13:07 - 00:52:15:02): Bogdan. **Thomas** (00:52:15:04 - 00:52:26:05): Anyways, that's that's coming up at the end of this month, man. Anybody that can just hop on a jet and get to Scotland and wants to taste some PD, PD whiskey, you got to go for it. **Chip** (00:52:26:07 - 00:52:28:03): Yep. Kilt and spilled. There it is. **Thomas** (00:52:28:03 - 00:52:29:11): That's it for for the l go. **Chip** (00:52:29:12 - 00:52:31:14): For the Jago. **Thomas** (00:52:31:16 - 00:52:35:00): Now it's time to take a quick trip to the hypochondriac corner. **Chip** (00:52:35:01 - 00:52:36:22): Hypochondriac corner? **Thomas** (00:52:37:01 - 00:52:38:21): What do you got for us today, Chip? **Chip** (00:52:38:23 - 00:52:49:17): I'm telling you, man, I you just. I've heard of. Okay. There's, like, when a man might have, like, labor pains. What do they call, like, sympathy, **Thomas** (00:52:49:18 - 00:52:51:13): Pain, sympathy pains. **Chip** (00:52:51:15 - 00:53:11:11): My my wife tore her calf muscle two, three weeks ago. Yeah, I find calves. My calves are just fine today. I just woke up crazy. Calf never had it before. And I think it is. I think I'm going through a sympathy pains maybe for her. Either that or my leg is going to fall off one of the two. **Thomas** (00:53:11:11 - 00:53:25:19): I think that's nice, dude. Gangrene is an immediate thought. The first thing that comes to my mind at any time a calf pain is blood clot. Did I sit too long? Did I coagulate? Yeah. In the main vein. **Chip** (00:53:25:20 - 00:53:33:10): Yeah. Maybe maybe that's it. So yeah. So that's now I'm just going to be spinning off and you know we'll see. We'll see what happens. **Thomas** (00:53:33:10 - 00:53:37:18): And that has been the hypochondriac corner corner. **Chip** (00:53:37:20 - 00:53:39:02): I mean what a fun one. **Thomas** (00:53:39:05 - 00:53:52:16): What a fun one dude. All right. Now moving on to a real fun one. Yeah, that was a little weird, but true. Now we're going to keep on the truth train. But it's time for some buffet facts, man. **Chip** (00:53:52:17 - 00:53:53:12): Buffet facts. **Thomas** (00:53:53:13 - 00:54:14:23): We've dug into the annals. We've done our research on Jimmy Buffett. He's the freaking man. Lived a life he did not need a vacation from. Got the whole world to come along with him to enjoy the ride. And we found some facts that only the most hardcore of hardcore Buffett fans know. What fact did you on earth this week about Jimmy Buffett? Yep. **Chip** (00:54:15:19 - 00:54:24:00): Jimmy Buffett owned 27 homes. 24 of them were sand castles. **Thomas** (00:54:24:02 - 00:54:26:15): That man loves some beachside real estate. **Chip** (00:54:26:16 - 00:54:29:04): Beachside ocean views. **Thomas** (00:54:29:04 - 00:54:46:09): Sticking with the sand theme, here's my fact to Jimmy Buffett each beach itself was a treasure. That's why he invented the sand detector. It's like a metal detector, but only beeps for the gold. Jimmy truly cared about. **Chip** (00:54:46:13 - 00:54:51:01): The sand. It just detects sand. I what an invention, I love it. **Thomas** (00:54:51:02 - 00:55:06:04): Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. But, like, if he was, you know, had to be in the city for some reason, like New York City, he would just take those morning hours to wake up and walk around the streets and parks with his sand detector, looking for a little piece of his home. You know what I mean? **Chip** (00:55:06:05 - 00:55:09:18): Love it. Love it. **Thomas** (00:55:09:20 - 00:55:21:04): That's some Jimmy Buffett facts. And after after we live, Jimbo, we start to feel the tides rising. Some splitting, some splashing. **Chip** (00:55:21:04 - 00:55:21:23): Splashing around. **Thomas** (00:55:22:00 - 00:55:25:12): Because it is time for sunburnt. Podcast. Fish of the week. **Chip** (00:55:25:13 - 00:55:43:06): Fish of the week. Fish of the week. Thomas I have an amazing one for you! I'm so excited about this one. I can't wait! Put her up on the screen. Put her up on the screen. The fish of the week this week is Beverley, the broad stingray. Oh gosh. **Thomas** (00:55:43:08 - 00:55:43:19): Look at. **Chip** (00:55:43:19 - 00:55:58:18): Her now. Thomas Beverley may look like an old tarp in your dad's shed that you're not allowed in anymore because of what the neighbors saw you doing in there the summer after sixth grade. But she is a majestic creature. **Thomas** (00:55:58:20 - 00:56:00:13): Oh, my God, she's beautiful. **Chip** (00:56:00:14 - 00:56:23:17): She's a classy broad. Yeah. I'm sorry. A classy broad stingray, which she is. Beverley's usually lounging off the coast of Hawaii, but she's got a family vacation spot in the Mediterranean, so they're spread all over Thomas. Even though the stingray doesn't travel very far, they. They stay close to home. But they're spread out all over the Pacific up through into the Mediterranean. It's pretty amazing. **Thomas** (00:56:24:15 - 00:56:25:03): Yeah. **Chip** (00:56:25:04 - 00:56:38:01): Now, Beverly's over one meter across, and that's the only piece of metric I'm going to use today. Her diamond shaped body is flowing and graceful like a like a manhole cover going to the Met Gala on ecstasy. You know what I mean? It's like she's elegant. Going to an underwater Met Gala, or, as I like to call it, the wet gala. **Thomas** (00:56:44:13 - 00:56:46:14): The wet gala. Very dear leak. **Chip** (00:56:46:15 - 00:57:01:19): Yes, but even though she is so graceful with her moves and just so elegant looking, she is a femme fatale. Oh, she's packing a long, whip like tail with a serrated stinging spine. **Thomas** (00:57:01:21 - 00:57:03:06): The beautiful ones always arch. **Chip** (00:57:03:09 - 00:57:24:05): By the way, unfortunately, we know that Mr. Steve Irwin was unfortunately brought to his demise. Biased thing, right? That was a bull stingray. This is not the broad stingray. Okay, so Beverly is in the clear. Just just so you know. Okay. Right. But she is also a she's also a large gal. I mean, you look at her over. **Thomas** (00:57:24:10 - 00:57:25:18): She's a full figured woman. **Chip** (00:57:25:19 - 00:57:32:13): She really is. And because female broad stingrays are larger than the males. **Thomas** (00:57:32:14 - 00:57:33:07): Really? **Chip** (00:57:33:08 - 00:57:44:21): So, yeah, in this species, the females are larger, the males just like owls, spotted hyenas. Or that time my fraternity had a mixer with the volleyball team. Now Beverly spends a lot of her daytimes buried in the sand under the water with just a little eyes sticking out. Okay, yeah. **Thomas** (00:57:52:06 - 00:57:53:07): Just keeping. **Chip** (00:57:53:09 - 00:58:11:21): She is super chill that she sure chill. But at night, Thomas, especially during twilight and the dawn hours, she is on fire. She is foraging for her food which includes shrimp, crab, clams, muscles and worms. **Thomas** (00:58:11:23 - 00:58:13:12): Whoa, worms! **Chip** (00:58:13:14 - 00:58:35:08): Speaking of which, today's sunburn podcast episode is sponsored by Captain Scurvy. Mild, wide seafood buffet on route nine near Ville are right by the quarry. Bring your family for all you can eat shrimp, crabs, clams and muscles. And remember, at Captain Scurvy, the buffet won't give you worms. Back to Beverly, though. Beverly, we were talking about a sand detector or a metal detector. Beverly has a receptors. **Thomas** (00:58:43:19 - 00:58:45:04): Okay, okay. **Chip** (00:58:45:05 - 00:59:06:12): They are used to detect her. Pray that a lot of times, those sand and crabs and stuff are buried underneath the sand. And she uses her electro receptors to detect them. Now, electro receptors there cross between a metal detector and a sixth sense that you kind of have. Thomas, you know how you get you know, you kind of get vibes off of some people sometimes, Thomas, one way or the other. Perfect example. Let's test your vibes, see what kind of $0.06 you have. Just. Okay. And I'll just. And we'll just have a conversation, see if you pick anything up from me, okay? Okay. Start off, ask me how my weekend was. **Thomas** (00:59:18:14 - 00:59:21:00): How's your weekend? **Chip** (00:59:21:02 - 00:59:21:08): **Thomas** (00:59:21:08 - 00:59:24:13): What how how was your weekend? **Chip** (00:59:24:15 - 00:59:41:00): I mean, I mean, what I, I don't it was fine. I mean, I, I mean, that, like, I was on the side of the road off his bike when I drove past in the. I mean, he was just like, I don't know, I just I didn't even see anything. I just, I was I had a hit a deer a couple years ago. I. **Thomas** (00:59:43:20 - 00:59:50:16): Guilty your vibes are guilty there. I think that's what I'm picking up. **Chip** (00:59:50:18 - 00:59:57:07): Anyway. That was Beverly, the broad stingray. Our fish of the week. **Thomas** (00:59:57:09 - 01:00:07:19): Are fish of the week. Beverly, you beautiful son of a gun. What a foxy lady. And, Chip, I, I don't know what happened to you this weekend, but if you need to. **Chip** (01:00:07:20 - 01:00:13:23): Edit it out, edit it out. We don't even need to know we're on to bigger and better things. Like Beverly the broad Stingray. 01:00:14:00 – 01:00:14:18 UNRESOLVED – Okay, okay. **Thomas** (01:00:14:18 - 01:00:22:08): But if you do need to talk, like, call me after the podcast. Okay? Beverly, congratulations on being fish of the week. **Chip** (01:00:22:09 - 01:00:23:04): Fish of the week. **Thomas** (01:00:23:05 - 01:00:28:06): All right. Fish of the week's over. It's time to open up the good book. **Chip** (01:00:28:07 - 01:00:34:22): Open up the Guinness Book of World Records. The highest, the tallest, the shortest, the deepest, the widest. **Thomas** (01:00:34:23 - 01:00:35:23): All of these things. **Chip** (01:00:35:23 - 01:00:41:05): Buddy Thomas, what is your Guinness Book of World record? Record for today? **Thomas** (01:00:41:05 - 01:00:49:10): It is the world record for the longest distance surfed while being towed by a jetski. **Chip** (01:00:49:12 - 01:00:54:00): Oh, I love it, I love it. It's where. It's where nature meets machine. **Thomas** (01:00:54:01 - 01:01:12:19): It's where we create the waves, baby. We create the waves. And it's. It happened in a very interesting location to. So I'm going to need you to guess what's the furthest distance surfed while being pulled by a jetski. **Chip** (01:01:12:21 - 01:01:17:14): And I'm going to say one nautical mile. I don't even know what that is, but I'm going to say a nautical mile. **Thomas** (01:01:17:15 - 01:01:23:06): I don't know what that is either, but I think it's not 41.3 miles. **Chip** (01:01:23:08 - 01:01:24:10): What? **Thomas** (01:01:24:12 - 01:01:38:08): Yeah, dude. So this guy was just cruising. Gary Saavedra was towed by a jet ski the entire length. Chip, get this, of the Panama Canal. He cruised the canal, towed. 01:01:38:08 – 01:01:38:19 UNRESOLVED – Behind a. **Chip** (01:01:38:19 - 01:01:41:12): Jet ski to the Pacific coast. **Thomas** (01:01:41:14 - 01:01:44:23): It's the opposite of coast to coast. It's ocean to ocean, baby. **Chip** (01:01:45:00 - 01:01:45:23): Whoa! **Thomas** (01:01:46:01 - 01:02:00:07): Traversed. It normally costs $300,000 to get across that canal. He did it on a jet ski in under four hours. Three hours, 55 minutes. On March 19th, two days after Saint Patrick's Day of 2011. **Chip** (01:02:00:07 - 01:02:05:02): Chip, that must have been a good Saint Patrick's Day. Like, can you imagine being like, you know what we're gonna do, man? 01:02:05:03 – 01:02:05:18 UNRESOLVED – Yeah. We're going to get on a jet ski, and you're going to take me on a surfboard across the Panama Canal glitch. **Thomas** (01:02:11:09 - 01:02:19:03): Do it. Let's do it. Dude, you gotta have a surfboard. The ability to surf a jet ski and a friend to get this done. **Chip** (01:02:19:04 - 01:02:20:19): That might be the hardest part sometimes. **Thomas** (01:02:20:20 - 01:02:33:14): Yeah. You know who Gary has it going on? He's got an act of social life. He is fit, and he's got a cool hobby like this is. This is really cool thing. And I'm also guessing he's got a huge ass. **Chip** (01:02:33:16 - 01:02:35:12): Yeah, probably. I think I think. **Thomas** (01:02:35:12 - 01:02:44:07): This guy's towing a dump truck because, I mean, if you think, like I need to, you gotta take. You gotta haul something through the Panama Canal. **Chip** (01:02:44:11 - 01:02:44:18): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:02:44:18 - 01:02:54:18): You you can't just go for for pure navigation. I think he was dragging a wagon behind him in the form of a real nice Panamanian rump. **Chip** (01:02:54:20 - 01:02:56:14): Yeah, yeah. Panamanian rump is my favorite cut of beef, by the way. **Thomas** (01:03:00:14 - 01:03:15:02): Oh, yeah. No, it's it's it's good one. Yeah, it's a good one. The best meats in the rump. I remember that being part of a Simpsons episode where a pig was talking about his own rump. **Chip** (01:03:15:02 - 01:03:15:18): His own rump. **Thomas** (01:03:15:19 - 01:03:28:08): The Panama Canal is one of the most controlled waterways on Earth. Container ships, tankers and military vessels share that lane. Gary was in there on a surfboard. **Chip** (01:03:28:10 - 01:03:35:08): I like I want to know if if this was sanctioned or they just decided to go for it. 01:03:35:09 – 01:03:35:16 UNRESOLVED – Yeah. **Thomas** (01:03:35:17 - 01:03:46:00): I think you have to be. They had to have done something. There's at least like a toll, right? Like a toll station toll booth. Willy for the Adam Sandler versus. **Chip** (01:03:46:03 - 01:03:49:12): Dollar 25 please. **Thomas** (01:03:49:14 - 01:03:50:18): Do you want that. In the basket or should I. Shove it up direct. **Chip** (01:03:55:05 - 01:04:07:03): Literally mate. That that's Adam Sandler's sketch. All audio sketch might may be I would say easily top ten hardest I've ever left. **Thomas** (01:04:07:04 - 01:04:10:21): Both of those albums that came out around that time, just like. 01:04:10:22 – 01:04:11:10 UNRESOLVED – Incredible. Rocket fuel for a 90s, you know, pre-teen or teenager. Absolutely unbelievable. I mean, I can't, I don't without blushing. I can't even say many of the sketches. **Chip** (01:04:23:08 - 01:04:24:18): Half of the things. No. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:04:25:20 - 01:04:34:05): I mean, like, I think that is infinitely more enjoyable to me than like, the modern day rose, the roast that are happening. **Chip** (01:04:34:06 - 01:04:37:05): Oh yeah, it's silly, it's ridiculous. But you're. Based. **Thomas** (01:04:37:20 - 01:04:45:19): Equally is cringey. Oh, dude. And Kevin kneeling is the farting. They're like hypnotist. **Chip** (01:04:46:00 - 01:04:46:22): Yes. **Thomas** (01:04:47:00 - 01:04:50:11): That was you. Or the longest pee ever. Come on. The hits just keep coming. But back to Gary. **Chip** (01:04:56:06 - 01:04:59:12): The goat in the back of the truck. **Thomas** (01:04:59:14 - 01:05:03:03): You want to see a snake man? **Chip** (01:05:03:05 - 01:05:10:23): And now the severe beating of a high school Spanish teacher. **Thomas** (01:05:11:01 - 01:05:14:05): Dude. So. The Panama Canal. Not the cleanest body of water. Sure, it is mostly runoff from tanker sludge. **Chip** (01:05:21:07 - 01:05:22:09): I didn't think about that. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:05:22:09 - 01:05:48:02): You're right, it's backwash. And there's also crocodiles in that baddie. This guy was fighting all the elements. But you know what he had on his side? Rock solid glutes. Yep. A world class jet ski and a buddy behind the wheel, man. Yeah. That's all you need in this life. 41.3 miles. He surfed that distance. That's longer than most people do. Anything by any means of transportation. Yeah. Went through the whole Panama Canal from the Pacific to the Atlantic in three hours, 55 minutes. And I don't even think he had shoes on, man. He just had his toes on the nose getting dragged on a board. Hats off to you, Gary, for setting world record for the farthest anyone has ever surfed while being towed on a jet ski. Congrats, buddy. **Chip** (01:06:15:11 - 01:06:17:05): Well done Thomas. **Thomas** (01:06:17:07 - 01:06:22:05): What world record setting feet have you chosen to share with us today? **Chip** (01:06:22:05 - 01:06:24:19): But we're also going to get in the water for this one. **Thomas** (01:06:24:20 - 01:06:26:08): Thomas I love being in the. **Chip** (01:06:26:08 - 01:06:36:04): Water and we're also getting into another very unique body of water. I would say that rather than just, oh, the Pacific Ocean or whatever. Here we go. Thomas. **Thomas** (01:06:36:04 - 01:06:37:07): Let's get specific. **Chip** (01:06:37:08 - 01:06:41:05): Thomas, you remember the story from the Bible of the parting of the Red sea? **Thomas** (01:06:41:07 - 01:06:42:04): Yeah. Moses. **Chip** (01:06:42:05 - 01:06:58:07): Yeah. It was either Moses or I. The way I remembered it was George Washington needed to cross it with his troops on Christmas. So Ben Franklin and Davy Crockett tied a key to a kite and the Red sea parted. That's how I remember. **Thomas** (01:06:58:08 - 01:07:02:09): All of history is really just one story, Chip. And I think you're continuing to show. **Chip** (01:07:02:10 - 01:07:31:04): I think that's what it is in that, in that story tradition. So now fast forward now from the parting of the Red Sea to September 18th, 2014, a mere three years after your boy surfed the Panama Canal. Okay. On September 18th, 2014, 41 year old Egyptian former Army Special forces officer Ahmed Gaber did not need to part the Red sea that day. He just scuba down to the bottom. **Thomas** (01:07:35:05 - 01:07:36:19): Whoa. **Chip** (01:07:36:21 - 01:07:43:03): This is the record for the deepest open water scuba dive. **Thomas** (01:07:43:04 - 01:07:44:19): Wow. Okay. **Chip** (01:07:44:21 - 01:08:04:08): Okay, so this is not in a controlled space. This is in open water. It was in the Red sea off the coast of the hob. Egypt. Gaber dived it down. Dived, by the way, is a word they used. They could say dove, but they said dived. And you can do either. It's. I am a sort of lychee lychee kind of situation. But he dived down 1090ft. **Thomas** (01:08:09:16 - 01:08:10:17): Jeez, Pete. **Chip** (01:08:10:18 - 01:08:12:18): Just scoop it on down 1000. **Thomas** (01:08:12:21 - 01:08:15:16): 90ft. That's so much pressure. **Chip** (01:08:15:18 - 01:08:32:02): So much pressure. I mean, and so get this, by the way. Okay? This is much pressure. This is so it's almost the height of the Empire State Building. Oh okay. So just he went the Empire State Building down. Yeah. He had to train for years for this. And of course he was in the Egyptian special forces and all that. Okay. Yeah. Now take a guess. Thomas. How long did it take him to swim? To scuba down to ten one 1090ft the length of the of the Empire State Building, basically. **Thomas** (01:08:46:23 - 01:08:54:08): Well, I know you got to do it slower than you think because of the, like, the bends or whatever. You got to like. **Chip** (01:08:54:10 - 01:09:01:00): Basically, I'll give you this hint that's basically coming up. I think you still have to worry about a little bit, but it's the coming up is what you got to worry about. **Thomas** (01:09:01:01 - 01:09:07:22): Okay. I don't know, how long would it take you to swim down like four hours. **Chip** (01:09:08:00 - 01:09:11:01): It only took him 12 minutes. **Thomas** (01:09:11:03 - 01:09:13:05): Get the hell out of here, dude. That's took it. **Chip** (01:09:13:06 - 01:09:24:09): Took him 12 minutes to to swim down over 1000ft. Now. Question two. How long did it take him to resurface that? **Thomas** (01:09:24:10 - 01:09:26:02): It seems like it would be quicker, but I'm gonna. **Chip** (01:09:26:02 - 01:09:28:13): Say it's a tricky question, right? Because. **Thomas** (01:09:28:15 - 01:09:33:01): Yeah, I'm gonna throw out an hour. **Chip** (01:09:33:03 - 01:09:35:19): 15 hours? **Thomas** (01:09:35:21 - 01:09:39:01): What? I guess this is all science. Right? **Chip** (01:09:39:02 - 01:09:40:15): So 12 minutes down. **Thomas** (01:09:40:15 - 01:09:41:06): Yeah. **Chip** (01:09:41:11 - 01:10:00:15): 15 hours back up. Because like you said, with the depth, the pressure, if you come up too quickly, you get these, this nitrogen, these nitrogen bubbles in your, in your bloodstream, which could be awful, which is the bends. And the only thing worse than the bends is Pablo Honey, Radiohead's first album. **Thomas** (01:10:00:19 - 01:10:01:03): **Chip** (01:10:01:07 - 01:10:26:20): That's Radiohead joke right there. Yeah. So it took him only 12 minutes to go down to set the record. But then you have to slowly, slowly come up. Took him 15 hours. That's a 15 hour, 12, 12 minute round trip. 12 of it on the way out, 15 on the 15 hours on the way back. Okay. Now, like I said, he that is he swam down just into, you know, open waters. The height of the Empire State Building. I want to ask you this. How what's the height? What building height have you dived down to before in open waters? Thomas? **Thomas** (01:10:36:09 - 01:10:37:05): In open. **Chip** (01:10:37:06 - 01:10:38:14): The building. **Thomas** (01:10:38:16 - 01:10:50:20): I can I can tell you that in non open waters a pool. I have swam down to the ten foot mark. Okay. At the public pool when I was a kid, and I felt an intense pressure in my ears. **Chip** (01:10:50:21 - 01:11:12:06): And your ears, right? I mean, it's crazy. Yeah, yeah. So, I have also done that in open waters, like in the ocean, the building he did, the Empire State Building, I did basically, maybe a little free library. You know, there's a little hutches of books that people have out in front of your house on the sidewalk. Yeah, that's about how far deep I have dives down. **Thomas** (01:11:12:08 - 01:11:14:06): We're talking about three, four feet. **Chip** (01:11:14:08 - 01:11:15:05): Yeah, yeah, that's. **Thomas** (01:11:15:05 - 01:11:17:09): Pretty one free library story. **Chip** (01:11:17:10 - 01:11:33:07): One free little library story. So congrats to a mid Garber the deepest open water scuba dive of all time. And let me tell you something, buddy. If you dove any deeper, you would have reached my soul. **Thomas** (01:11:33:09 - 01:11:54:15): That's awesome man. Congratulations dude. That is one deep dip. Deep dip. All right everybody, that's it for the sunburnt pad. If you want to reach out to us, give us. Leave us a voicemail at (310) 845-6038. That's our Trouble in Paradise hotline, where you can tell us your titillating vacation stories, and we'll talk about them here on the podcast. **Chip** (01:11:54:16 - 01:11:54:20): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:11:54:20 - 01:12:03:23): We will. All right. This is the summer podcast. We talk about comedy and tropical travel. Until next time, stay burnt. Front desk. **Chip** (01:12:04:01 - 01:12:09:15): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. I was wondering if I could get an early checkout. **Thomas** (01:12:09:16 - 01:12:11:21): You could check out any time you'd like. **Chip** (01:12:11:22 - 01:12:12:11): But. You can never leave. **Thomas** (01:12:15:02 - 01:12:18:17): Oh, please stop calling me. **Chip** (01:12:18:19 - 01:12:19:16): Okie dokie.