Beach Glow-Ups, Ghost Uber Drivers & A Day For Weird Aunt's 😂🌴👻 | Sunburnt Podcast Ep. 60

**Chip** (00:00:00:02 - 00:00:04:17): We celebrate mothers on Mother's Day every year. Why can't there be a day for dads? **Thomas** (00:00:04:18 - 00:00:11:08): The US Navy spent decades bombing a beach that has now been rated the 41st best beach in the world, baby. **Chip** (00:00:11:09 - 00:00:13:20): The only people getting bombed, they're having pina coladas. **Thomas** (00:00:13:21 - 00:00:16:12): There's aliens out there. Of course there's ghosts. **Chip** (00:00:16:13 - 00:00:17:03): Big feet. **Thomas** (00:00:17:04 - 00:00:24:15): There's women with big feet. Yeah. The Caribbean just posted its best hotel numbers since before the pandemic. And really ever known. **Chip** (00:00:24:16 - 00:00:26:18): Is this what you would call the bad bunny bump? **Thomas** (00:00:26:19 - 00:00:28:07): It's a Super Bowl bad bunny beach bump. **Chip** (00:00:28:08 - 00:00:30:06): It's Caribbean of good year. **Thomas** (00:00:30:07 - 00:00:41:11): What up? Burnt ones. This is the sunbird podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. To my right, as always. You know, I'm from Netflix on the series tires and his amazing standard special move closer. It's Chip Chantry. **Chip** (00:00:41:11 - 00:00:52:16): And over here to my left is Mr. Thomas O'Brien, Emmy Award winning producer, writer, and my pal. Grab a float, put on your earphones and drift away. Grab them by tie. **Thomas** (00:00:52:16 - 00:00:57:21): Because it's great to be in the tropics with your boys. **Chip** (00:00:57:23 - 00:01:16:04): So he just starts pummeling me just on my face, just over and over again. And my girlfriend starts laughing and cheering him on, taking video. Everybody's jumping in and yelling and making fun of me as the assistant manager is just wailing on me. What? And I'll be honest with you, Thomas. I am glad they shut that Boston market down. **Thomas** (00:01:16:05 - 00:01:19:14): Yeah, you got to shut that thing down. It's a nuisance to the neighborhood. **Chip** (00:01:19:15 - 00:01:20:16): It is. **Thomas** (00:01:20:18 - 00:01:31:01): Well, I'm sorry that happened. And also, this girl you've been seeing, candy. I think she's no good to trouble. Yeah. Leave. Leave her right at the Boston mark. Actually, we're already rolling here. **Chip** (00:01:31:02 - 00:01:31:20): Chip. Oh, hey. **Thomas** (00:01:31:21 - 00:01:44:09): What up? Once. This is the sunburn podcast, where we talk about comedy and tropical travel and chip. We just got to get into it. We've got too much tropical travel and comedy news. **Chip** (00:01:44:09 - 00:01:53:04): Here's what you're going to do. Give me the rundown. But after every item on the rundown, I'm going to critique you like a high school drama teacher who never really made it to Broadway himself. **Thomas** (00:01:53:05 - 00:02:06:04): Okay, cool, cool, cool. So I'm working with notes on the fly. Yes. All right, let's do it. This is the Mother's Day episode. Chip. Mother's day is coming up, and you have some new ideas about family themed holidays. **Chip** (00:02:06:05 - 00:02:08:04): Enunciate, enunciate. **Thomas** (00:02:08:05 - 00:02:14:21): The Caribbean Tourism Board is making travel experts sound like travel. Ding dongs. **Chip** (00:02:14:22 - 00:02:17:11): Facial expressions. I want to see facial features. **Thomas** (00:02:17:12 - 00:02:21:19): Scientists have finally figured out why we get sick on vacation. **Chip** (00:02:21:19 - 00:02:24:12): Don't tell me the item. Show me the item. **Thomas** (00:02:24:13 - 00:02:29:19): Guitar center has released a list of riffs that they can't hear one more time. **Chip** (00:02:29:21 - 00:02:31:14): Cheat out, cheat out to the camera, Thomas. **Thomas** (00:02:31:14 - 00:02:35:16): Hecklers on Broadway are connected directly to an emergency room incident. **Chip** (00:02:35:17 - 00:02:39:05): Think of an emotion from your childhood. Use that. **Thomas** (00:02:39:05 - 00:02:46:03): A beach the US Navy bombed for decades now ranks 41st in the best beach in the world rankings. **Chip** (00:02:46:04 - 00:02:49:04): Now give me jazz hands for this next one. Jazz hands. **Thomas** (00:02:49:04 - 00:03:06:15): We've got Buffett facts. Fish of the week. We're cracking open the Good Book, the Guinness Book of World Records, and the Trouble in Paradise hotline is open. You can leave us a voicemail at (310) 845-6038 and tell us about your worst vacation story. **Chip** (00:03:06:15 - 00:03:08:10): And cut. Excellent. **Thomas** (00:03:08:12 - 00:03:10:02): I think the jazz hands really help. **Chip** (00:03:10:02 - 00:03:14:22): I think we need to incorporate jazz hands more often, and I think that's what's going to take this podcast to the next level. **Thomas** (00:03:14:22 - 00:03:32:09): We got to get to the next level. We've been trying to level up. It was our 2026 resolution. We're already sitting here May 7th. Chip. Now it's time for an old fashioned slather. I can't tell you how exciting it is to get a little slather going. **Chip** (00:03:32:10 - 00:03:41:08): And by the way, I am wearing for the first time, I got to cover these arms with the slather because, look, daddy's wearing short sleeves. **Thomas** (00:03:41:11 - 00:03:41:23): I know. **Chip** (00:03:42:00 - 00:03:53:21): Just the shirt today. It is nice and warm. Affiliates in the mid 60s right now. By this afternoon it's going to be in the upper 80s. I believe buddy. Yeah, we're getting to summertime, Tommy. I'm feeling like a burnt one. **Thomas** (00:03:53:21 - 00:03:56:06): I love it when that nice weathers hits. **Chip** (00:03:56:07 - 00:03:57:14): Sweet sweet harvest. **Thomas** (00:03:57:14 - 00:04:11:05): All right everybody, this is the sunburn podcast. We talk about comedy and tropical travel. If you think those two things should go together. Stay tuned. Front desk. **Chip** (00:04:12:07 - 00:04:14:14): Kalamazoo, Michigan. You're on the air. **Thomas** (00:04:14:15 - 00:04:22:21): Mr. Chantry. I know it's you. Please stop doing your Larry King impression. He's been deceased for five years now. It's distasteful. **Chip** (00:04:22:21 - 00:04:28:07): I need more towels and some more coffee packets. Your thoughts? **Thomas** (00:04:28:08 - 00:04:29:19): I'll send them right up. **Chip** (00:04:29:20 - 00:04:31:02): Chip. Thomas. **Thomas** (00:04:31:03 - 00:04:37:16): Toad. Episode 60 of the sunburnt podcast. Can you believe we've been clipping away at it? 60 episodes. **Chip** (00:04:37:16 - 00:04:43:11): The big six zero. This podcast can now apply for AARP benefits. **Thomas** (00:04:43:11 - 00:04:45:17): Some nice savings, some good information. **Chip** (00:04:45:18 - 00:04:46:13): Nice little bump. **Thomas** (00:04:46:14 - 00:04:49:11): Do you have to be old to do AARP? **Chip** (00:04:49:11 - 00:04:50:18): I believe so, I think so. **Thomas** (00:04:50:19 - 00:04:52:20): It would make sense. But it's also discrimination. **Chip** (00:04:52:20 - 00:04:56:14): I think you're thinking of triple A, you just have to be a driver for that one. **Thomas** (00:04:56:15 - 00:05:03:21): Do you have to be a driver? That's double discrimination. It is. Anybody can sign up for triple A, it's just like, what are you going to do with it if you don't drive? **Chip** (00:05:03:22 - 00:05:07:21): Yeah, they can send you maps I guess just maybe if you want to walk places. **Thomas** (00:05:07:22 - 00:05:12:02): I mean, who's going to drive pretty soon anyways. It's all going to be Waymo's and electric cars. **Chip** (00:05:12:02 - 00:05:22:00): What is a going to do. Are they just it's going to be AI is what it's going to be. Hey, there it is. That's the podcast. You've been great. We'll see you all next week. Boom. Done. **Thomas** (00:05:22:01 - 00:05:25:05): Have you taken one of those fully automated taxis? **Chip** (00:05:25:06 - 00:05:26:23): I have not have you. **Thomas** (00:05:26:23 - 00:05:29:03): Oh yeah. They're happening in Los Angeles. **Chip** (00:05:29:03 - 00:05:33:02): But how do you how do you feel about it? Do you? Is it exciting or are you scared? **Thomas** (00:05:33:03 - 00:05:54:13): Dude, it's so exciting for, like, the first 30s. And then you're just kind of like, oh, yeah, this. This feels pretty good. This is working. And then you forget about it and you just get to have a free conversation and there's nobody listening to you. Just the whole AI and internet is listening to this conversation be recorded in that car. **Chip** (00:05:54:16 - 00:06:30:05): Yes. They are banking everything that you're saying, but just not right there. I will say, I think once that takes over, I will miss a little bit of that union interaction. I've received some amazing pieces of advice, some great. I've also received some terrible information for some cab drivers and some Lyft drivers. Uber drivers. I will say one time the my favorite thing that ever happened, I was coming home from helium one night and I decided to take, I took, I took a lift home because it was raining. So instead of walking or whatever, it was like, I'll just take a lift. It's pouring rain and we're driving home. And by the time we drove them, it was it was perfect. Perfect. Like movie like 80s set in Chicago, movie setting. The rain had stopped, but the streets are all wet, you know, just like they do a movie sets right there. **Thomas** (00:06:48:21 - 00:06:49:19): Always spraying them down. **Chip** (00:06:50:00 - 00:06:53:14): There, spraying them down. Yeah, I know you had that job in the in the mid 90s. **Thomas** (00:06:53:14 - 00:06:54:10): Spray artist. **Chip** (00:06:54:10 - 00:07:14:09): And we were at a, at a, at a red light and it's this older man. He's barely said anything to me. Yeah. The entire drive he's at the green light. It's dark out again. Wet streets whatever. Not too many people around. It's a little bit late, but there's a car behind us. The light turns green. **Thomas** (00:07:14:10 - 00:07:15:10): Yeah. **Chip** (00:07:15:12 - 00:07:38:12): My Uber driver did not go right away. Okay. You know, in Philadelphia we are not a patient, people. Yeah. The guy behind us laid on the horn. Okay. And it was way too loud. Way too quick. It's not like my Uber driver is sleeping on the job. He was, you know, it was just. He was delayed a second instead of moving at all. The guy lays on the horn. My Uber driver just puts his hand on the passenger seat and turns around and looks at me like looks back at me. Yeah, dead in the eyes. These are the first words that he said to me, besides saying hello. And he just looks at me and he goes, fear strikes outward. And then he turns around and he drives the rest of his way. I love. And it was just like, oh, the man in the car behind us is just afraid. He is angry because he's afraid. So he is lashing out at someone else. Oh, it's so calm and cold. This guy, fear strikes outward. **Thomas** (00:08:15:22 - 00:08:20:18): It sounds like a guy that doesn't strike outward, ever. Because he ain't scared of nothing. **Chip** (00:08:20:18 - 00:08:25:16): He is scared of zero things. Yeah, it was amazing. I. I tipped him very well that night. **Thomas** (00:08:25:16 - 00:08:29:20): I bet. I think you might have had the Grim Reaper drive you in a taxi. **Chip** (00:08:29:20 - 00:08:37:01): Chip. I might have avoided death because of the guy beeping behind us. There's a there's a 68% chance that I was slated to die that night. **Thomas** (00:08:37:01 - 00:08:43:08): And you tipped well. Yeah. You're on deaths. Good side. That might mean you get a couple of extra years for you. Kick that bucket. **Chip** (00:08:43:09 - 00:08:46:12): Daddy's tip and death. **Thomas** (00:08:46:14 - 00:09:10:21): The wildest one I can remember. Off the top of my head was me and my wife were taking Uber, and about three minutes into the journey, the person was obviously socially strange. Sure had had some personality quirks to say the least, and just could not stop talking. Yeah, it was just run in the mouth and then blurred it out and immediately you saw it come out and she almost grabbed it and wanted to shove it back in her mouth. She's like, she's like, and this new car is great. She's like, I got it with the money I got from crashing my old car last week. **Chip** (00:09:22:22 - 00:09:25:02): Not exactly what you want to hear from an Uber driver. **Thomas** (00:09:25:02 - 00:09:30:06): And then for ten minutes, she talked about, regional hot dogs. **Chip** (00:09:30:07 - 00:09:30:21): Okay, sure. **Thomas** (00:09:30:22 - 00:09:46:19): Believe it or not, not prompted by us or provoked to continue by us at all. Of course not. And she was just like, you ever had a Seattle dog? And I'm like, used to live in Seattle. I can't say I've had a Seattle dog. And she's like, well, you don't have to be in Seattle. I have a Seattle dog. **Chip** (00:09:46:20 - 00:09:48:07): Yeah, I mean, she's giving you the business. **Thomas** (00:09:48:08 - 00:09:49:22): Like you can't. You can do it here. **Chip** (00:09:49:23 - 00:09:51:02): You can make one. **Thomas** (00:09:51:02 - 00:09:55:14): I think she's like, you just need sour cream and onions. And I was like, okay, all right. **Chip** (00:09:55:18 - 00:09:56:11): There you go. **Thomas** (00:09:56:12 - 00:10:13:19): And then after ten more minutes of this, she said, and now I'm going to turn on the baseball game. It's not because I don't like you. I've just been talking to you long enough that I think you won't think it's rude if I get back to the Dodger game, which is what I really wanted to listen to in the first place. **Chip** (00:10:13:21 - 00:10:17:02): I hope you tipped her 100% that that day. **Thomas** (00:10:17:03 - 00:10:22:20): I tip based on honesty, and I don't think a stray word came out of out of that woman's mouth. **Chip** (00:10:22:21 - 00:10:23:09): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:10:23:09 - 00:10:25:04): From the mouth of babes. **Chip** (00:10:25:05 - 00:10:46:11): Last one, I will. I will say this. It was we. My wife and I were in L.A.. Yeah. And, you know, we're doing the sites. I want to take her. I'm showing her all the sites, and we went. One of the places we went to was Griffith Observatory. You know, Griffiths was right. Yeah. Beautiful. Overlooking Hollywood. Hashtag DTLa. Just. And it was a beautiful morning. We did not spend a moment because you drive up through, like, Griffith Park. You know, you go through there and kind of winds up and you think you'd want to get the views as we're driving up. But we couldn't because the old guy who's driving us in the lift was just talking about how he basically used to be a fixer for like, Hollywood people. **Thomas** (00:11:07:19 - 00:11:08:13): Ray Donovan. **Chip** (00:11:08:13 - 00:11:20:18): Get people out of DUIs, bailing people out of jail, doing things. You know, Sursum, venting the law, if you will. And I don't know how much of it was true. I'm going to say about 40% of it was true. **Thomas** (00:11:20:19 - 00:11:21:11): Oh, that's pretty good. **Chip** (00:11:21:12 - 00:11:23:09): But it was enthralling. **Thomas** (00:11:23:10 - 00:11:40:01): Super enthralling. And I'm sorry if this is getting too long. I'll tell you one more. That reminded me one time we're coming back from LAX, me and my wife again, and I want to say 60 year old gentleman, we get in the back of his car. It's clearly not a full time Uber car. Like there's his personal things in there. Yeah, I'm willing to bet 100% of what he told us was a lie. Yeah, he would not stop talking. And the first thing he hits us with is he has three PhDs. **Chip** (00:11:48:22 - 00:11:49:08): Of course. **Thomas** (00:11:49:09 - 00:12:13:20): And then he starts talking about his son, who, died in a drunk driving accident. Okay. Caused by himself. He was a major league umpire, and now him and every member of his family drive Uber one day a week to send his sons daughter, his granddaughter to college. **Chip** (00:12:13:22 - 00:12:14:15): Oh my God. **Thomas** (00:12:14:15 - 00:12:42:02): And he was like my brother, who is one of the world's top neurosurgeons. He drives Uber once a month to and I was I asked my brother, I was like, how are you going to do that? You you work, you only have two days off a month. And he's like, I'm happy to give one of those days to help put my niece through college. And he's just like, it's just really remarkable what you can get done. When everybody just gives one day and he's like, I've done very well. And they start talking about how much his house is worth and how how wonderful his wife is. It really reminded me of that. I think you should leave sketch with Bob Odenkirk. **Chip** (00:13:02:09 - 00:13:04:11): Yeah, he's got he's got triples on the Barracuda. **Thomas** (00:13:04:12 - 00:13:06:01): Triples our best. **Chip** (00:13:06:03 - 00:13:07:10): Yeah. Triples that. **Thomas** (00:13:07:12 - 00:13:09:11): I mean that Barracuda deal went through. **Chip** (00:13:09:17 - 00:13:22:18): And not to not to poke a hole in your boys story. But yeah, maybe to put this kid through college instead of one day of Uber. Yeah. Maybe the neurosurgeon can do one more Nora surgery. **Thomas** (00:13:22:19 - 00:13:44:20): Yeah, he's probably doing pretty good. Yeah, maybe. Maybe one hour of neurosurgery a week is worth probably 50 hours driving a neighbor. Maybe. Yeah. None of it added up, but it really made for a fun ride, I love it. He was just pulling stuff out of his, but he pointed to a building that was not a theater, and he was like, that used to be the best movie theater in town. And I was like, really? And he's like. **Chip** (00:13:46:18 - 00:13:50:07): And you can't really you can't really argue it back. **Thomas** (00:13:50:09 - 00:14:04:17): Oh, I, I would never want to. He was like, yeah. He was like, there's a lot of theaters around. A lot of the movie theaters are still around. But that one, that's where you took your best girls. If you're willing to pay the extra time to go to that movie theater, you knew there were special. **Chip** (00:14:04:20 - 00:14:07:00): First of all, is this man 106? **Thomas** (00:14:07:00 - 00:14:12:16): I would say 60s, late 60s, mid 60s, maybe early 60s. I don't know how people. **Chip** (00:14:12:18 - 00:14:29:08): How we know we do have apps where we can verify this. You can go back on your Uber or Lyft app, Thomas, go back to that time, flip through and be like, that's the guy. Let's try to track him down, see how he's doing, see how the kid has made it through college. I think that I think that's a deep dive podcast that we need to do. Maybe that's a Patreon podcast just for burnt ones who love a little bit of a deep dive investigative journalism. **Thomas** (00:14:36:10 - 00:14:55:03): I think when we get to the end of our current scientific revolution, you know, there's aliens out there. Of course there's ghosts. Who knows if times even real gravity is up for debate. Big feet. There's women with big feet. Yeah, and a mythical creature named Bigfoot who's walking around the woods. But I think we're going to find out. We're going to be able to look back and see what was really happening. And there's going to have to be some disclosures. And I think what we will find, and I personally believe this, is that half of Uber and Lyft drivers currently are either past spirits, okay. And, entities like the Grim Reaper who are kind of not from here but do work here. **Chip** (00:15:19:04 - 00:15:25:20): I see that I feel I feel like there was a maybe I want to say maybe the movie Scrooged starring Bill Murray had. **Thomas** (00:15:25:21 - 00:15:29:06): There was a taxi Driver prominently featured in that. Right, right. **Chip** (00:15:29:06 - 00:15:33:15): And I think that that is more like reality than we think. **Thomas** (00:15:33:16 - 00:15:36:02): Yeah. Bill Murray is always kept it pretty real. Dude. **Chip** (00:15:36:03 - 00:15:47:21): I agree with what you're saying, that most Uber drivers are actually ghosts. As portrayed by David Johansen, aka Buster Poindexter, who used to be in the glam rock band the New York Dolls. **Thomas** (00:15:47:22 - 00:15:59:19): I completely agree with you. Yeah, no, not to shift topics too vastly, but many Uber drivers, many Lyft drivers are also mothers. **Chip** (00:15:59:20 - 00:16:02:12): Yes they are. There's a Venn diagram of those two things. **Thomas** (00:16:02:14 - 00:16:16:05): Mother's day is coming up, buddy. We all have one. We all have at least had one at one point, right? Everybody has a mama. It's a data celebrate. And I know you have some new ideas around the holiday chip. **Chip** (00:16:16:05 - 00:16:21:08): Well, first of all, let me say this. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, to my mother, to your mother, to all the moms. **Thomas** (00:16:21:09 - 00:16:22:19): Absolutely. Happy Mother's Day, babe. **Chip** (00:16:22:20 - 00:16:31:21): I okay, I don't want to say this is a podcast. Is the two of us. It's two guys here. Yeah. I don't want to sound like men's rights activist. **Thomas** (00:16:31:22 - 00:16:34:12): We're not safe. Space ship. So say what you need to say. **Chip** (00:16:34:13 - 00:16:53:06): I will say this, and I want to just be honest and kind of take the take the sheen of some burnt podcast off. I think that Mother's Day is wonderful and they should literally get their flowers and figuratively. Yeah, but we celebrate mothers on Mother's Day every year. I'm just saying, why can't there be a day for dads? Like, why can't there be a day to celebrate? Dads, dads, dads, they raise their kids, they take them to baseball games. They. My dad taught me so much. Why isn't there a day for dads? Just like Mother's Day? Are you? Like, it just seems like it's a little bit of a double standard. Hey, mothers. Yeah, well, like, why are you being serious right now? Great dads. **Thomas** (00:17:15:02 - 00:17:17:19): Ship to ship. Are you being serious right now? Yeah. **Chip** (00:17:17:20 - 00:17:31:17): Yeah, just like a day. Like a day to set. Like. Like we have Mother's Day every May and, like, do that. How do you think I'm not a father? But if I was a dad, you're a dad. I'm sure you feel left out. And you're like, why can't there be a day for me and all the good things that I do? **Thomas** (00:17:31:18 - 00:17:45:11): I mean, there is Father's Day in June. What? Yeah, June, I don't I don't know what day it is. It's like. Yeah. There's not really question it's like less important than Mother's Day, but yeah, there's there's Father's Day. **Chip** (00:17:45:13 - 00:17:47:19): So you're saying there's a. **Thomas** (00:17:47:21 - 00:17:50:22): Yeah, there's, there's a day to celebrate father's. **Chip** (00:17:51:00 - 00:17:55:13): I should. Is this the first year they're doing this or. **Thomas** (00:17:55:15 - 00:17:59:21): You know that's. No, no. Oh. **Chip** (00:17:59:23 - 00:18:00:15): All right I **Thomas** (00:18:00:19 - 00:18:07:15): Have you never said Happy Father's Day to, Paul Chantry? **Chip** (00:18:07:17 - 00:18:11:03): Yeah. I guess I should guess I should get him a card. **Thomas** (00:18:11:05 - 00:18:14:13): Maybe should? Yeah. I mean, they're they're at the store. **Chip** (00:18:14:15 - 00:18:15:04): All right. **Thomas** (00:18:15:05 - 00:18:16:01): Well. **Chip** (00:18:16:03 - 00:18:23:21): Lesson learned, then, Thomas. Lesson learned. Happy Mother's day, and, I guess early Father's Day, a new new day that I'm learning about. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:18:23:22 - 00:18:29:22): Yeah, yeah. All right, well, we gotta we gotta get you a calendar chip. Right? We got it. **Chip** (00:18:29:23 - 00:18:32:00): Although I will say, Thomas. **Thomas** (00:18:32:01 - 00:18:33:08): Yeah, again. **Chip** (00:18:33:09 - 00:18:37:13): Happy Mother's day. I think we can expand it. Okay. **Thomas** (00:18:37:14 - 00:18:38:04): Yeah. **Chip** (00:18:38:05 - 00:18:55:13): We have Father's Day now, I think I know there's, like, Grandparents Day. I think that's like hallmark, you know, they're cashing in and. Good. Good for them. Yeah. Great. But they're great. Grandparents day all that. I think there needs to be some other family members that have a day just like mothers and Fathers Day. **Thomas** (00:18:55:14 - 00:18:58:04): I think that's fair. What are you thinking? **Chip** (00:18:58:06 - 00:19:12:12): Okay, here's the first. Here's the first one I'm going to I'm going to promote. I think this would be great. I think we should we should have Mother's Day in May, father's Day in June. I don't know, maybe July or August, just. It doesn't have to be a Sunday. It could just be a like a random Tuesday. **Thomas** (00:19:12:12 - 00:19:14:06): But in a hot month. **Chip** (00:19:14:08 - 00:19:15:22): Right? A hot, hot month. **Thomas** (00:19:15:23 - 00:19:17:02): Yeah. **Chip** (00:19:17:04 - 00:19:20:01): We celebrate weird aunt's day. **Thomas** (00:19:20:03 - 00:19:20:21): Okay. **Chip** (00:19:20:23 - 00:19:31:02): So it's just a day for weird aunts. Everybody's got that one aunt that's just a little bit off kilter. And I think we need a day to celebrate her. **Thomas** (00:19:31:03 - 00:19:33:02): Yeah, we're talking Debs, we're talking. **Chip** (00:19:33:02 - 00:19:48:14): Barb's right. Linda's. Yeah. This is the weird aunt that we need to celebrate. You know that weird aunt? When you were a kid, she would take you and your sister to McDonald's, but she would bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches out of principal. Happy weird aunt. **Thomas** (00:19:48:14 - 00:19:53:05): Stay happy weird dance day. That's just a playground play. Is that what that is, exactly? **Chip** (00:19:53:05 - 00:19:57:14): Yeah. Okay. She's never been married, but she always talks about a guy named Dave. **Thomas** (00:19:57:17 - 00:19:59:16): Oh, man, the mysterious Dave. **Chip** (00:19:59:18 - 00:20:01:14): Happy we're dance day, right? **Thomas** (00:20:01:19 - 00:20:04:21): Maybe a Wendy's tie in there. Yes. **Chip** (00:20:04:23 - 00:20:09:14): She is six bird cages in her house, but she's never owned a bird that you know of. **Thomas** (00:20:09:18 - 00:20:11:02): I don't know. **Chip** (00:20:11:04 - 00:20:13:01): Happy, weird aunt's day. **Thomas** (00:20:13:03 - 00:20:14:17): I mean, she's gonna use them for something. **Chip** (00:20:14:18 - 00:20:24:09): On your eighth birthday, she gave you the complete series of the British sitcom The Vicar of Dibley on VHS. Happy weird aunts. **Thomas** (00:20:24:09 - 00:20:26:01): Day, happy weird aunts day. **Chip** (00:20:26:02 - 00:20:33:04): She sells jars of homemade kimchi out of her trunk at your soccer games. Happy weird aunts day. **Thomas** (00:20:33:09 - 00:20:34:22): Ferment for children. **Chip** (00:20:34:23 - 00:20:46:00): She shoplift at Ralphs and you've caught her doing it. But she says it's okay because the assistant manager owes her money. Happy weird aunts day. **Thomas** (00:20:46:01 - 00:20:47:09): Happy weird that. **Chip** (00:20:47:10 - 00:20:55:10): She is a strict vegan, but she has 12 cases of Slim Jims in her basement for when the grid goes down. **Thomas** (00:20:55:12 - 00:20:59:11): Oh yeah, I know you gotta be ready, prepped, gotta be prepped. **Chip** (00:20:59:14 - 00:21:12:06): Happy, weird and stay. And that is why I think we need to celebrate that weird and that you have and give her her dues. Happy weird aunts to everybody. **Thomas** (00:21:12:08 - 00:21:31:06): Deb, Barb and Linda. Happy weird aunts day. And this is retroactive. We're backfilling. Of course, this is going to be in the heat of the month when Deb, Barb's or Linda's short short haircut is really paying dividends temperature wise. **Chip** (00:21:31:07 - 00:21:32:03): Absolutely. **Thomas** (00:21:32:04 - 00:21:42:03): Once again, happy, happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. You know what they say? There'd be no burnt ones without mamas. No. **Chip** (00:21:42:07 - 00:21:42:22): No, there would not. **Thomas** (00:21:42:23 - 00:22:05:07): It's commonly known fact you can't make a burnt one without a mama mia, and we appreciate all you do. Happy Mother's Day. Now, Chip, not to leave mothers in the dust, but it's time to get into a segment. We call for the l go for the algo. This is the segment that we largely created to make the robots like us more. And hopefully you're going to like it too. **Chip** (00:22:06:21 - 00:22:16:14): And we just want to say this is for you, the listener. But more importantly, it is for our robot overlords who are listening, who like us. **Thomas** (00:22:16:15 - 00:22:23:07): Yeah, they decide what you hear and see. So we're just trying to play into that, and then we're going to put that sunburnt twist on. **Chip** (00:22:23:07 - 00:22:24:04): It, twisting it up. **Thomas** (00:22:24:04 - 00:22:32:23): All right Chip, first story. Number one. The Caribbean just posted its best hotel numbers since before the pandemic and really ever doubt. **Chip** (00:22:33:00 - 00:22:45:21): I think it's a central location. I think that's what it is, at least for me, and maybe not for I don't know what you think about it being Los Angeles. It's a little bit more of a hike for me. It's just a hop, skip and a slather down there, you. **Thomas** (00:22:45:23 - 00:23:11:22): Know, it's it's a it's a good point. It's a good point. It's closest 80% of the US population east of the Mississippi. These islands are all much closer than Hawaii is. It's about the same distance to some of them for me, a little more, for a lot of them. Right. But dude, I think it's just overall, it's like more than any specific, like Caribbean Island, Bahamas, like this article was specifically about the Caribbean. But people have this fever. It's never been more expensive to travel relatively to normal budgets. The fuel costs are insane. Ticket prices are nuts. People are feeling pain at the pump. People are feeling pain at their jobs. Like rate wages are increasing. Unemployment is in a little bit of a weird spot. And like we talked last week, instead of forgoing trips, people are, you know, saving money in other places to still be able to go on these getaways. And the numbers don't lie, dude, it's out of control. Listen to some of these. There was an overall 2.5% rise in Taurus since 2026 started. That's like a pretty significant jump. And that's across all the Caribbean islands. And this put together by the Caribbean Tourism Organization who are counting all this stuff. Jamaica welcomed over 1 million visitors in Q1 of 2026 alone. That is roughly 333,000 farmers stands per month, descending onto an island with their fanny packs chock full of sunscreens and Band-Aids and everything else you need to bliss out at the beach. **Chip** (00:24:32:21 - 00:24:37:19): I don't know much about Earth science, but that many tourists could literally tip over the island. **Thomas** (00:24:37:20 - 00:24:41:10): Yeah, if that islands are rocking, don't come a knockin. **Chip** (00:24:41:11 - 00:24:43:12): Jamaican me crazy is what I'm saying. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:24:43:13 - 00:24:58:22): The Cayman Islands, which we have just been hearing about left, right and center up 10% in February. Wow. In March 2026, hotel occupancy in the islands hit 79%. **Chip** (00:24:58:23 - 00:25:17:23): It's been such a long, hard winter over here in the East. I wonder if people are just like, just escapism. I think escapism. That's why I have a tattoo that says escapism in Sanskrit over on my chest. You've seen that I covered over my Mr. Roper tattoo, and I think that I think that's what it is. I actually have two friends. You ready for this? Yeah, I have two friends that went when on vacation. And I mean, people are going for anything and they're not leaving for anything either. Yeah, my two friends, they work together. They got invited to their bosses house, like on the beach went. It was just supposed to be for the weekend. They get their their boss. This is crazy. Their boss had died, like, was dead when they arrived. They found him in the house. He was dead. But they're like, were having such a great time. Let's just pretend he's still alive, dude. And they went through a lot of bells and whistles, a lot of hoops to pretend that their boss was still alive. So they got to party for the rest of their vacation. People coming in and out of the house, they just put sunglasses on the guy, and they just it was it was. They said they had a great time. And dude, you know, despite the the loss of their loss of life. **Thomas** (00:26:20:09 - 00:26:40:18): Well, first of all, this should be a movie. That's the kind of thing that, like, Hollywood's too scared to make movies about these days. That's like a really good story. But secondly, I think it proves the point. People are doing anything they need to to get those tropical rays to get that day at the beach, to get their time in the sand by the water, because we need it. The world is so wild outside, the real world. Not vacation land. The real world where you live in all your problems exist is a pretty hard place to be right now, and people are getting tropical fever and just getting out of it for a couple of days, and that reset really helps a lot. It's why we slather. It's why we do in Paradise comedy shows. It is. It is just speaking to what we're all going through. And honestly, they started to notice this was happening in early December at the Barbados International Airport. They had just like a really busy day, like on the 12th or 13th, somewhere around there of December before the holiday even hit it, and it just hasn't stopped since then. It's been a steady avalanche of Taurus dude, and I know we were talking even the other day. Don't like you have some family members that are going on tropical trips before the end of the year. It is just in the vein. Everybody's becoming burnt once. **Chip** (00:27:46:06 - 00:27:48:06): It's Caribbean of good year. **Thomas** (00:27:48:07 - 00:27:57:14): All right. Well, thank you, Caribbean Journal, for keeping these meticulous stats and letting us know about it because it makes us know we're not crazy. We're not the only ones. Chip. **Chip** (00:27:57:14 - 00:28:05:08): I think we do a live show in the Caribbean. We pick a we pick an island, throw a dart, let it land, and let's let's do a show there. **Thomas** (00:28:05:09 - 00:28:23:07): Don't tempt me. Do we? Definitely will. It's like what? Whether this is the year for it or not is the only question we have. All right, next thing, Chip, have you ever hit the beach and realized not only you were taking the day off, but your immune system was to. **Chip** (00:28:23:08 - 00:28:24:13): Yes, I have unfortunately. **Thomas** (00:28:24:14 - 00:28:39:06): Continous travelers reporting on leisure sickness are real documented phenomenon where high stress people get sick the moment they actually stop working and start their vacation. Dude, this is so unbelievably common man. **Chip** (00:28:39:07 - 00:28:40:09): Has this happened to you? **Thomas** (00:28:40:10 - 00:28:48:18): Absolutely. Dude, you've got a high stress job like I always. You know, the second a show ended, I always have a vacation planned. **Chip** (00:28:48:18 - 00:28:53:02): You're going to Ireland, you're going to Hawaii. You're going? Yes. Yeah. And it's something to look forward to. **Thomas** (00:28:53:03 - 00:29:28:07): Psychologists and researcher and winger hoots coined the term in early two in the early 2000, after noticing he personally kept getting sick on his own time off, which is very sad. Yeah, but extremely on brand for a researcher, the symptoms are absolute vacation dog crap. They can include headaches, muscle aches, fatigues, nausea, and basically everything that feels like a full on flu is like in the mix there. It's disgusting. And Doctor Stephen Goldberg out of Kentucky describes the cortisol spike that you get, I guess is acting like a lid on a boiling pot. It keeps your immune system artificially suppressed during stress. And the second you exhale on a lounge chair, the lid flies off, said pot. **Chip** (00:29:52:01 - 00:30:14:11): Because that's the thing with you and me, Thomas. Like we have cortisol just surging through our veins at all times. We are nervous and worried and anxious about everything, and that cortisol isn't good for you. But what it can do is it will, you know, whack a mole. Some of those sicknesses that we're nervous about. Well, it'll jazz hands, those sicknesses. And as soon as we just relax and we're like, oh, the cortisol has gone from our body. Yep. Then they're just like, well, now we can just pop up a bar. Now you're going to get a sore throat and a sniffy nose and it's yeah, I've had that happen so many times. And then you're worried like I get worried about I'm like, I don't want to get sick for a vacation like I was. So I don't know how much I was honest with you about this. I was so locked down and nervous before Thanksgiving, a Paradise this past year because I was like, I'm not flying to Hawaii, being sick and then not being able to perform, you know, the whole thing. So I. **Thomas** (00:30:47:02 - 00:30:49:03): Kept you wore a mask on the airplane. **Chip** (00:30:49:05 - 00:30:51:07): I did wear a mask on the airplane. I saw that, yeah. **Thomas** (00:30:51:08 - 00:31:09:01): I saw that it was all for you. He was very worried about not being able to give his best for you. You got burnt ones that showed up. I actually shout out, that was like six months ago. We were in Hawaii. Now it's like a half a year ago. Shout out to the burnt ones that came out. That was great and thanks for sticking with us, continuing to listen and watch. We really appreciate it and we can't wait to party with you guys again. **Chip** (00:31:12:23 - 00:31:34:02): Boom. Yeah. But so it's but is that thing where like I've gone on vacation, I'm like, why am I not feeling well? And it's because I think it's finally your body lets up, but it lets up a little too much. Yeah. So that's why I suggest staying vigilantly anxious and angry and upset throughout your entire vacation. And you'll you'll never be sick a day in your life. **Thomas** (00:31:34:02 - 00:31:35:22): I honestly think that's what I do. **Chip** (00:31:35:23 - 00:31:38:02): Until you drop dead at the age of 58. **Thomas** (00:31:38:03 - 00:31:51:10): Oh my gosh, dude 50. It's getting way too close, buddy. Yeah, I've gotten to the point where I like. It was my birthday last week. I don't make a big deal about it, but it has got me to think about my own mortality and it's closer than I like. **Chip** (00:31:51:11 - 00:31:53:23): I think somebody needs a vacation right now. **Thomas** (00:31:54:00 - 00:32:17:06): I definitely do. I've been thinking about it. Oh yeah, I checked flights to Hawaii recently, and by that I mean the last three days. And I keep on Instagram getting these like, just post to say like Los Angeles to Hawaii for 130 bucks. And I'm just like, okay, I'll check it out. Almost always lies ship. Yeah. The cheapest flat I found was literally four times that. And the average flight was like almost close to 800 bucks. **Chip** (00:32:21:16 - 00:32:22:08): One way. **Thomas** (00:32:22:09 - 00:32:27:09): I maybe it was round trip. Either way, it's it's excessive. **Chip** (00:32:27:10 - 00:32:29:03): It's your bait and switch there. I don't appreciate. **Thomas** (00:32:29:03 - 00:32:44:06): That they're doing it for the clicks. It's not a reputable thing, but it also just shows you where we're at fuel wise. Yeah, those are the prices we're dealing with. And people are still flocking to these islands, which very hard to get to if you're not on the plains. Yeah. Or like a gas guzzling. **Chip** (00:32:44:06 - 00:32:48:17): Boat, you can take the subway there. No, you're not taking the bus to Turks and Caicos. **Thomas** (00:32:48:18 - 00:32:55:14): Know about it. You're feeling that pain at the pump and people are still going, dude, I just love it, man. **Chip** (00:32:55:14 - 00:32:55:20): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:32:55:20 - 00:33:04:01): Well, it's good to know we're not crazy. This is a scientifically documented thing like before with a it's a real thing. **Chip** (00:33:04:03 - 00:33:04:19): It's a real thing. **Thomas** (00:33:04:20 - 00:33:14:16): All right, buddy, this next one is near and dear to my heart. I don't know if we've ever talked about this before, but you were talking to a former. **Chip** (00:33:14:18 - 00:33:24:12): I know what you're going to say. Former president of the Mariah Carey fan club. Close. No, no. **Thomas** (00:33:24:14 - 00:33:45:08): Barbra Streisand? No, no. Mariah Carey. Mariah carries an interesting personality, though. Yeah, I've. I've had some friends have interactions with her, and she's everything she's billed to be apparently very, very intense to be around. **Chip** (00:33:45:08 - 00:33:47:07): With that vocal range. It has to be. **Thomas** (00:33:47:08 - 00:33:51:17): Oh, yeah. That's true. You can't hit those high ease and not be a little creek Ray. **Chip** (00:33:51:18 - 00:33:52:20): Hi. **Thomas** (00:33:52:22 - 00:34:27:06): Hi. Dude. So, former Guitar Center employee. My first job right out of college was a summer gig slanging accessories at the old Guitar Center. So this is near dear to my heart, but, the Guitar Center has just released a list of the top ten riffs played by customers thinking about purchasing guitars. And I can tell you, dude, this was a disaster. This was a devastating part of the gig. It was so much fun, too. I loved going to Guitar Center before I worked there. I could go in there for hours and I'd be the one playing the riff. I'd be in my own world, just playing with this paddle, playing with that guitar. Making my rock star fantasies come true with a guitar I was never going to buy. But when I worked there. Dude, you listen to so many dog crap guitar players play some bogus garbage. **Chip** (00:34:55:11 - 00:34:55:18): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:34:55:18 - 00:35:16:23): And it starts to get to you. And the more times you hear a specific song butchered, the more times you're upset or like, the worse it gets. And then also, if you hear somebody play the tunes good, play it well. It's like, go home. Yeah. This isn't a show. Like book a gig, right? **Chip** (00:35:17:01 - 00:35:40:18): And that's what people need to do. It's it's it. I think it was social media before social media. Yeah. Was the Guitar Center, lounge right there, you know? Yeah. Because they were just like, I want to show everybody how good I am at this thing, whether or not they're good. And there is an audience of unwilling people here, just like on the internet. Here's my 15 minutes. **Thomas** (00:35:42:13 - 00:35:49:10): The CEO of Guitar Center asked all of his managers around the country to compile a list of the the top riff. **Chip** (00:35:49:11 - 00:35:54:16): And by the way, the see the CEO of Guitar Center. That's is that still acts Rammstein. **Thomas** (00:35:54:18 - 00:36:00:07): Acts Rammstein the son of string Rammstein. **Chip** (00:36:00:10 - 00:36:03:00): Okay. **Thomas** (00:36:03:02 - 00:36:15:22): Yeah. So ax got together the CEO. He asked all the managers to send in the list, and the results were maybe a little surprising. So Metallica was coming in hot, dude. **Chip** (00:36:15:23 - 00:36:16:17): Of course. **Thomas** (00:36:16:19 - 00:36:40:23): Master of Puppets beat out stairway to Heaven, which is like stairway to Heaven is the typical song you think of everybody playing. Sure. They put this list up in rolling Stone survey directly from store leadership across every region. The list of ten riffs includes titans like Sweet Child of Mine, Seven Nation Army, and Oh Baby. Smoke on the water. **Chip** (00:36:40:23 - 00:36:52:23): That didn't didn't. Yeah that's. Yeah. And seven Asian Army is basically just it's just smoke on the water on a little bit of like microdosing acid. **Thomas** (00:36:52:23 - 00:36:57:20): I've got a seven nation army story. If oh if you got time. If you got time for a minute. **Chip** (00:36:57:20 - 00:36:59:19): I got, I got nothing but time. **Thomas** (00:36:59:21 - 00:37:21:22): So Joe Weber, a buddy of mine who is now a host on the Donut This Car podcast network, he used to lead a band for Moses Storms. What he. Moses Storm used to have a stand up show at the Nerdist. And he'd let us do time there. But every once, like he had a live band at his show and Joe led the band. And every once in a while. I'd sit in with them on guitar, and the first time we did it, I. The first song we were playing was Seven Nation Army. And, you know, it is literally one riff. If you're if you're going into 70 Army, you're coming in for one riff. And we thought it would be for about 15 seconds. The first song, it's just like play the guys on there get it going. And nobody told us it was just was not communicated and we couldn't really communicate with ourselves. We're playing like we're seated. We're like not we can't really talk to each other and we write. We're not like a real band that practices all the time and chemistry. We were a house band and I was sitting in and we're playing this one riff and. Chip. I think it was over ten minutes before somebody came to the stage. So like, it's a packed house and we are just playing this with this one rift in my mind. After about a minute, I'm like, oh, and if nobody singing, it's very apparent this is just one riff. This is like eight bars. **Chip** (00:38:29:18 - 00:38:31:23): No words to punctuate this mess. **Thomas** (00:38:32:00 - 00:38:33:05): Multiple minutes. **Chip** (00:38:33:11 - 00:38:38:02): So wait, did somebody introduce you? Like, or is this just like, the beginning of the show? **Thomas** (00:38:38:05 - 00:39:01:21): Yeah, it's the beginning of show, but we got the the cue to start. Yeah. And they were supposed to run up onto the stage and they just didn't. And in my mind, after a while, I kind of thought it was funny that we're just doing this one riff. And I look at I, you know, I'm kind of like trying to play and give a shrug over at Joe and Joe's like, oh, and I just like, nobody makes the decision to go to another song because we don't know when anybody's coming up. There's just so we keep playing it. I think it was over ten minutes. And, the first person up that night was John Mulaney. Okay. Like one of the most popular comedians running around Los Angeles at the time, right? And, we thought he was going to, like, make fun of us because the host that ran up definitely did. Yeah. So he made fun of us, then got you on up there. And John was just like, guys, this is unbelievable. House band. Like, he was just so nice and so cool. He always was every time we ran into him. I'm really glad things worked out for him, though. **Chip** (00:39:34:16 - 00:39:37:09): Yeah, things seem to be on the upside for that guy. **Thomas** (00:39:37:10 - 00:39:41:15): But yeah, that was Seven Nation Army for over ten minutes in front of a packed house. **Chip** (00:39:41:16 - 00:39:42:09): That is that is. **Thomas** (00:39:42:09 - 00:39:51:20): Rough with a band I was sitting in on air. Dude, this next one touches on a lot of things. We understand, buddy. A lot of things we're concerned about. **Chip** (00:39:51:21 - 00:39:53:04): Tickles those ivories. **Thomas** (00:39:53:05 - 00:40:21:22): A Broadway performer isa bronze, who also is on the pit playing Doctor Santos. You know I love the pit, Steph. Dude, she's had this phenomenon. She just stepped in for Sarah Hyland in this Broadway musical. Just in time. And when she's on stage, dude, people keep heckling her as if she was her character from the pit. Like on a real Broadway play. People paid Broadway prices to come see the show. And in season two of The Pit, her character is behind on her charting, and it is the bane of her existence. And every time she talks to anybody, they're like, oh great, you save three more lives. Why is the why are the charts late? Do your charting and she's falling asleep. She's always cranking away. Every time she's doing her charting, somebody interrupts her. She has to go do something. So like, that's her whole season. This was her whole work life for however many months they shot this show was her character getting berated. And now, during quiet moments of her Broadway play, people are screaming out about the charting chip. **Chip** (00:41:03:19 - 00:41:11:11): I mean, how just you are on a hit TV show? Yep. You were in a Broadway production. **Thomas** (00:41:11:12 - 00:41:12:09): Yeah. **Chip** (00:41:12:11 - 00:41:19:12): This should be the greatest spring summer of her life. Yeah, and idiots are just ruining it. **Thomas** (00:41:19:13 - 00:41:20:15): I mean. **Chip** (00:41:20:15 - 00:41:41:09): We do. People not know that it's a character. That's my. I think that we have been. We're just so dumbed down by, you know, like, just social media or whatever that that we just people. I don't realize that people think that people are real or can be something other than what they're looking at right now. It's it's crazy, dude. **Thomas** (00:41:41:10 - 00:41:50:16): It's literally insane behavior. But I think we all know the cause of it. It's like, honestly, people that want her to like them. **Chip** (00:41:50:16 - 00:41:53:20): Yes. They're trying to be like, hey, this will be fun. **Thomas** (00:41:53:21 - 00:42:01:23): And the same thing with I'm sure you if you get heckled, it's like, you know, a lot of times it's people being drunk. Idiots. **Chip** (00:42:02:00 - 00:42:40:14): Right? But that's even at a comedy club where I'm speaking to the audience. So there is this fake back and forth that they think is a real back and forth. So I even understand that this is a play happening. Yeah. This is just in character. Like this is. That's crazy. That's crazy. I will say, I will say one time in 2008, I did get a little drunk and I yelled, Hey Willie at, I'll say, I saw Alf do a production of The 12th Night and I yelled, hey, Willie! Adam and Alf got incredibly upset and he stopped the production and screamed at me. He's like, I'm doing Shakespeare up here. **Thomas** (00:42:52:07 - 00:42:53:12): And had jazz hands. **Chip** (00:42:53:16 - 00:42:54:08): He had jazz hands. **Thomas** (00:42:54:09 - 00:42:56:02): Yeah, yeah, I just thought that was funny. **Chip** (00:42:56:02 - 00:43:00:03): We don't deserve Broadway and we don't deserve Issa. **Thomas** (00:43:00:05 - 00:43:29:11): Hang in there. It gets better. Next story. Chip. The US Navy spent decades bombing a beach that has now been rated the 41st best beach in the world. Maybe this is a real thing. Dude, the. I don't know if it's other governments, but the US government has bombed like just set up some of the most beautiful places in the world to be where they test their bombs out and run live ammunition drills, and specifically in Hawaii. I'm not. Obviously, this is a little bit better, but like, there's just like unexploded shells and the whatever toxic byproducts of testing all these things are on the land. It's just, you know, ruined portions of the area and they don't know how to clean up. They don't know how to make it better. It's just kind of ravaging these areas. So it's so nice to see that in Puerto Rico's flamenco beach. It was just ranked 41st and 10th in North America on the world's 50 Best Beaches list for 2026. And this has been reported by Conde Nast Traveler. **Chip** (00:44:09:10 - 00:44:12:15): The only people getting bombed there having pina coladas is what I'm saying. **Thomas** (00:44:12:15 - 00:44:23:01): Definitely true at the moment. But like part of the beach and like part of what gets its character is there's just like, still tanks on the beach. **Chip** (00:44:23:02 - 00:44:28:05): See? That's awesome. It's like. It's like it's like a paintball field and a beach vacation all at the same time. **Thomas** (00:44:28:06 - 00:44:47:02): Exactly. And like, street artists have come and, like, done street graffiti on the tanks. Apparently it, like, has a really cool vibe left over from like a really trying time. I would have to guess flamenco beach actually outranked every beach on the list in California and Hawaii. **Chip** (00:44:47:05 - 00:44:47:19): Really? **Thomas** (00:44:47:19 - 00:45:10:15): Wow. It is up there. And this was a this was voted on by travel professionals like travel agents, all that stuff. People who have to visit these like beaches of the world regularly for their job. They kind of voted on all of these things. And yeah, this, this flamenco beach has had a total turnaround from the days when we were just blowing stuff up on it. **Chip** (00:45:10:16 - 00:45:12:19): Is this what you would call the bad bunny bump? **Thomas** (00:45:12:19 - 00:45:14:11): It's a Super Bowl bad bunny, beach bump. **Chip** (00:45:14:14 - 00:45:16:16): Super Bowl, bad bunny, beach bump, Super. **Thomas** (00:45:16:16 - 00:45:41:12): Bowl, bad bunny, beach bump. It's classic and we're feeling it. And I don't have any direct knowledge that Bad Bunny is involved or supporting this specific beach, but I do know he is a very proud Puerto Rican, so if I had to guess, I think he's a he's pretty pumped up about the turnaround and that it's no longer being bombed. **Chip** (00:45:42:11 - 00:45:58:13): Yeah I did I unfortunately I will say that apparently those tanks and things that are there, people are hanging out behind them and at the other beachgoers, they are yelling, heckling them with lines from the TV show The Pit. **Thomas** (00:45:58:14 - 00:45:59:14): Oh my gosh. **Chip** (00:45:59:15 - 00:46:09:08): Which is just you're just on vacation. You're sitting there, you're having a little tropical drink, and then people just start yelling lines at you from the, from that, that TV show. **Thomas** (00:46:09:09 - 00:46:24:15): That's really tough, too, because a lot of the patients in the pit are presenting with residual problems from alcohol abuse. Right. And that's the last thing you want to hear when you're pounding a pina. **Chip** (00:46:24:16 - 00:46:26:00): Exactly. **Thomas** (00:46:26:05 - 00:46:49:20): When you're hitting a mighty, you don't want to hear about the patients carrying seven gallons of excess fluid from a liver. Shut down, bro. There's a there's a big man in season two that does have an alcohol problem. And they I they just drain buckets of fluid out of this man's abdomen. Like, I can't even imagine. **Chip** (00:46:49:21 - 00:46:52:20): It's like tapping a tap in a tree for sap up in Vermont. **Thomas** (00:46:52:21 - 00:47:02:17): It really was. It just kept coming a really hard visuals. And I would. Sure. I'm sure in real life, harder smells. **Chip** (00:47:02:19 - 00:47:03:05): Yes. **Thomas** (00:47:03:06 - 00:47:04:04): Come along with that. **Chip** (00:47:04:04 - 00:47:14:21): Kind of. You don't get that on the TV show The Pit, do you? I think it needs to be a more immersive, like a like a sphere situation. Like if you saw like, what if they brought season three of The Pit. **Thomas** (00:47:14:23 - 00:47:15:08): And smell. **Chip** (00:47:15:08 - 00:47:17:00): Of the to the Sphere in Las Vegas? **Thomas** (00:47:17:01 - 00:47:19:14): Okay, now we've got an idea. We've got to make some calls. **Chip** (00:47:19:15 - 00:47:29:19): And then they also brought in the smells, the sounds, the feels. I think I know what what I'm doing next season. Thomas I'm being producer on the pit. Taking it to the sphere. **Thomas** (00:47:29:20 - 00:47:33:21): Let's get Noah Wylie on the horn and see if we can make something happen. **Chip** (00:47:34:03 - 00:47:36:13): See if we can get a yes. Oh! Wiley. Out of him. **Thomas** (00:47:36:15 - 00:47:47:06): Yes. Yeah. What's her Noah Wyle into? Yes. Yeah. Well, Chip, you know who also would have loved the turnaround in Flamenco Beach. **Chip** (00:47:47:09 - 00:47:48:07): Who's that for? **Thomas** (00:47:48:07 - 00:48:11:13): The owl goes over. We're moving into Buffett facts. Mr. Jimmy Buffett I think he would have been thrilled with the turnaround. Flamenco beach going from war drills to lounging to a highly rated tropical experience. Yeah. What? That's the kind of turnaround and glow up. He didn't like blow ups. He liked glow ups. **Chip** (00:48:11:13 - 00:48:14:21): The only thing he blew out was his flip flops. **Thomas** (00:48:14:23 - 00:48:36:11): Yeah, and that can be remedied with a paperclip. Have you ever seen this done? It's probably paperclip in there if it blows through the bottom. Happened all the time with old Navy flip flops. Yep. That we sold at Old Navy while listening to the same ten tongs on repeat. I just said tongs instead of songs. It's early. **Chip** (00:48:36:13 - 00:48:37:23): It's okay. Thomas. **Thomas** (00:48:38:00 - 00:49:05:20): Chip. We celebrate Jimmy Buffett, what he represented, what he stood for, and more importantly, that he went after what he wanted in this life. And the world came with him and he was rewarded for it. But we're also historians on Jimmy Buffett. We do the research nobody else is doing. We've dug deep in the annals. We've scoured, social media, we've scoured the internet, we've looked everywhere we can look. And when we bring up Jimmy Buffett fact, you mark our words. We believe it to be true. **Chip** (00:49:15:04 - 00:49:16:02): Absolutely. **Thomas** (00:49:16:05 - 00:49:21:05): We believe it to be true. So, Chip, what Jimmy Buffett fact you have this week. **Chip** (00:49:21:06 - 00:49:28:19): The only line Jimmy Buffett ever stood in was a conga line. **Thomas** (00:49:28:21 - 00:49:32:03): He didn't have time for a line unless it was a good time. **Chip** (00:49:32:05 - 00:49:34:03): Bam bam bam bam bam bam. **Thomas** (00:49:34:04 - 00:49:35:14): Oh, that's that's a choice, dude. **Chip** (00:49:35:14 - 00:49:36:17): That's a choice. Choice. **Thomas** (00:49:36:20 - 00:49:37:12): It's like. **Chip** (00:49:37:13 - 00:49:38:23): The way that I want to live my life. **Thomas** (00:49:39:00 - 00:49:42:02): Exactly. If you don't need to stand on a line, don't stand on a line. **Chip** (00:49:42:03 - 00:49:46:06): And that's also a reminder to the ones out there. If you're ever standing in line, turn it into a conga line. **Thomas** (00:49:46:06 - 00:49:53:18): That's true. Maybe that's why he never stood in the line. That wasn't a line because every line he got in started getting going. I love it. **Chip** (00:49:53:20 - 00:49:54:16): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:49:54:18 - 00:50:13:03): Well, this is a little topical. I was able to find out some information about a Jimmy Buffett and Mother's Day. Jimmy Buffett was a big Mother's Day guy. It took a lot of mommies to make a son of a son of a sailor. **Chip** (00:50:13:05 - 00:50:16:02): That is certainly true. That that math, maths. **Thomas** (00:50:16:03 - 00:50:27:06): This was maybe less research and more inferred from the lyrics. But you can't get a son, and you definitely can't get a son and a son without a couple of mama mia's involved. Dude. **Chip** (00:50:27:07 - 00:50:28:06): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:50:28:07 - 00:50:36:11): Once again, happy Mother's Day to all the mamas out there. Yep. That being said, I feel a little splashing. I feel a little splashing. **Chip** (00:50:36:12 - 00:50:36:18): As. **Thomas** (00:50:36:18 - 00:50:41:13): Do I feel the tides are turning. Because it's time for Sunbird podcast. 00:50:41:15 – 00:50:42:19 UNRESOLVED – Fish are the week. **Chip** (00:50:42:19 - 00:50:51:09): And we got a great one. Thomas. Our fish of the week this week is Keith, the Atlantic trumpet fish. Whoa. **Thomas** (00:50:51:11 - 00:50:52:18): That's a fish. That's an instrument. **Chip** (00:50:52:19 - 00:51:03:04): He is an instrument. But I will tell you, he doesn't make a lot of noise. I will say that. Okay, look at this guy. Thomas. Just take a look at him right now. He's like a big ol three foot plaid sausage. Let's look at him. 00:51:03:05 – 00:51:04:10 UNRESOLVED – Oh, wow. Little plaid source is dangling out there. **Thomas** (00:51:06:17 - 00:51:07:08): Oh, I love it. **Chip** (00:51:07:08 - 00:51:07:16): Looks like. 00:51:07:16 – 00:51:07:20 UNRESOLVED – He. He looks like he could be an eel, but eels are all charged up. Thomas. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that of all of our fishes of the week so far. Gerald. Ronald. All of them. Yeah. Keith might be the biggest burnt one of all. Why this giant tube of toothpaste here? **Thomas** (00:51:25:01 - 00:51:25:11): Yeah. **Chip** (00:51:25:12 - 00:51:42:06): He just floats by in life. And that's why we love him. Okay? He lives in the coral reefs. And by the way, why is it not Reaves? Its core. I double checked its coral reefs. It should be coral reefs, but a that's for a different podcast to solve. **Thomas** (00:51:42:10 - 00:51:47:00): Because they weren't related to Keanu. They had different dads than Keanu. **Chip** (00:51:47:01 - 00:51:56:06): Keanu Reeves right. Yeah. Okay. So he hangs out on the Keanu Reeves of the Florida Keys and the Caribbean that is perfect for his vibe. **Thomas** (00:51:56:07 - 00:51:56:19): That's hot. **Chip** (00:51:56:20 - 00:52:01:13): Dude, just some steel drums. Pina coladas is all Keith needs to get by. **Thomas** (00:52:01:14 - 00:52:03:00): Oh, I love it. **Chip** (00:52:03:02 - 00:52:06:20): He's what we call a passive ambush hunter. **Thomas** (00:52:06:22 - 00:52:07:22): That's what I call it. **Chip** (00:52:07:23 - 00:52:33:23): We all call Keith a passive ambush hunter, and he. He doesn't mind it, okay? It means he doesn't search for food. He doesn't go after food. He doesn't hunt and gather. He literally just hangs here. You can see these videos of him. Just just drop it in onto the reefs. And he waits until, like, a little tiny snack wanders by, and then he just hoovers it up in his trumpet like mouth. His big old wide trumpet mouth just sucks it all up. Whether it's small fish, crustaceans, shrimp, Skittles I love Skittles. He's put a little skittle in there. **Thomas** (00:52:46:00 - 00:52:47:15): He likes to taste the rainbow. **Chip** (00:52:47:19 - 00:53:11:19): Sucks it up. It's amazing. Yeah. If if any fish could do DoorDash, it would be Keith. Just really wait for that food to show up and he'll eat it. I mean, that's that's all he wants to do. Yeah. Now, one thing Keith can do this trumpet fish, he can change colors. So he bowled different colors, but it's just to blend in. He's hiding from prey and the paparazzi. Okay, he just likes to blend in. He just will, you know, make himself look like the reef and then wait till the little fish swims under, and then boom, sucks them up. **Thomas** (00:53:25:09 - 00:53:26:12): That's sneaky dude. **Chip** (00:53:26:18 - 00:53:36:10): Yeah, but every once in a while, Keith will use those color changing skills for the most important reason. **Thomas** (00:53:36:10 - 00:53:37:01): Why. **Chip** (00:53:37:07 - 00:53:38:14): The ladies. **Thomas** (00:53:38:14 - 00:53:39:22): Oh, yeah. **Chip** (00:53:40:00 - 00:54:06:13): He attracts his female trumpet fish by doing a color changing water dance. Okay, where he just changes these vibrant colors and jumps all around, and the ladies are like, that's the guy that we want that little trumpet fish. But he's he's usually invisible, Thomas. But he comes to life at the party when accounts kind of like your cousin Glen and your sister's wedding reception after he had a couple of Miller lights. He's just smiled matter guy. But then just boom. **Thomas** (00:54:09:21 - 00:54:11:01): Turns it on on the floor. **Chip** (00:54:11:02 - 00:54:15:14): Throw on Seven Nation Army and he is a dancer for ten minutes. **Thomas** (00:54:15:16 - 00:54:18:14): Bum bum bum bum bum bum. **Chip** (00:54:18:16 - 00:54:32:13): So that is Keith, the Atlantic trumpet fish. And I'd like to show you more footage of him, but he is currently blending into some coral to lay low because he's wanted on some old weed possession charges in Fort Lauderdale. **Thomas** (00:54:32:15 - 00:54:36:12): Yeah, yeah. Yep. Keith is using that color change for evasion. **Chip** (00:54:36:13 - 00:54:44:08): Yes he is. So that is Keith, our Atlantic trumpet fish. The most burnt fish of the week that we've had yet. **Thomas** (00:54:44:09 - 00:54:53:15): That's off Keith. How's that did it buddy. Fish of the week. That's it for fish of the week of the week. It's time to get into the good book. **Chip** (00:54:53:16 - 00:55:06:01): The good book, the Guinness Book of World Records showing the best and brightest, the longest, the shortest, the tallest, the smallest. Thomas, what do you got for us? What is your Guinness Book of World record this week? **Thomas** (00:55:06:01 - 00:55:16:12): What has lots of tails, smells like fish and is absolutely beautiful. And it's not your cats eating a nice can of tuna? **Chip** (00:55:16:14 - 00:55:20:23): I have no idea. Thomas, lay it on me. Oh, the tails is what got me. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:55:21:01 - 00:55:30:20): Chip, I found the record for the largest gathering of people dressed as mermaids, and it's truly insane. **Chip** (00:55:30:22 - 00:55:40:04): I, I usually I'm usually very excited to be, like, lay it on me, tell me all the facts. Yeah, I'm hesitant about this one, but go ahead nonetheless, buddy. **Thomas** (00:55:40:05 - 00:55:45:16): This this thing goes back to the 1940s. It's it's been a. **Chip** (00:55:45:16 - 00:55:48:02): Long big mermaid culture back then. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:55:48:03 - 00:55:58:05): Big mermaid culture back then. Yeah. So here's the thing. I need you to guess how many people showed up in full mermaid costume to set this record. **Chip** (00:55:58:06 - 00:56:01:10): 250 250 chip. **Thomas** (00:56:01:10 - 00:56:19:10): That's much closer than you usually get. 704 people. Chip dressed up as mermaids in a natural spring on a single day in March 2023, and you will not be surprised. This happened right in the heart of Florida, baby. **Chip** (00:56:19:15 - 00:56:19:23): Oh, of. **Thomas** (00:56:19:23 - 00:56:44:21): Course, we got some Floridians dressed up like mermaids. And dude, I mean, this is this is more mermaids that have existed in literature that have ever been on the silver screen, that have ever been in a movie or TV show. I think you probably put all of the named mermaids in our collective history into a list, and I don't think it gets to 704 people. **Chip** (00:56:44:21 - 00:56:45:09): Know. **Thomas** (00:56:45:09 - 00:57:11:04): And they all came together. This happened in a wiki watch Spring State Park in Florida, and dude, Weeki Wachee has been running a live underwater mermaid performance since 1947. Making it, if you can believe this, one of the longest running underwater theater experiences on the planet. **Chip** (00:57:11:04 - 00:57:14:12): One of the richest traditions that Florida boasts. **Thomas** (00:57:14:13 - 00:57:47:09): All 704 participants had to be in a full mermaid tail. Not just a costume piece, not a skirt, a full mermaid tail, and they had to be in the water simultaneously for its account. The Weeki Wachee Springs maintains a consistent temperature of 72 degrees year round. It's a warm spring, beautiful, and it pumps out 117 million gallons of crystal clear water daily from a Florida aquifer. **Chip** (00:57:47:10 - 00:57:49:04): I want to throw my fins on right now. **Thomas** (00:57:49:05 - 00:58:08:22): I know, dude, wouldn't that be nice? Yeah. The park's original 1947 mermaid shows were invented by a former Navy frogman named Newton Perry, who built an underwater theater with glass windows so audiences could watch performers breathe through air hoses and pretend to be mermaids. **Chip** (00:58:08:22 - 00:58:12:04): I feel like that would be a great job for you. Thomas is a former frogman. **Thomas** (00:58:12:05 - 00:58:14:03): It's a good thing to be from. **Chip** (00:58:14:05 - 00:58:15:01): Yes. **Thomas** (00:58:15:03 - 00:58:39:10): A former frogman. And because he is a fragment, he thought like, I'm going to give these ladies straws and let him swim around and bathing suit and tails, and people are going to like it. And this seems like a pretty big attraction for the 1940s, from what I can picture of it. If you could watch some ladies in bathing suits go suck air out of a hose through a glass window, I think that's that's as close to magic as you're going to get, man. **Chip** (00:58:39:11 - 00:58:40:05): It really is. **Thomas** (00:58:40:11 - 00:58:42:04): That's really being transported. **Chip** (00:58:42:05 - 00:58:44:01): It's underwater. David Copperfield. **Thomas** (00:58:44:02 - 00:58:55:18): This event also set another impressive record ship. It set the record for the largest amount of virgins ever to party by a Florida river. **Chip** (00:58:55:20 - 00:59:02:15): Yeah, I'm sure that's that's the case. That's if somebody needed a sacrifice that day. They had their pick of the letter. **Thomas** (00:59:02:16 - 00:59:09:23): Hats off and tails on myrrh. People tails on. You've made your half fish. Mama's proud. **Chip** (00:59:09:23 - 00:59:11:07): Well done. Huzzah! **Thomas** (00:59:11:08 - 00:59:16:17): Yeah. Good job, good job. All right, Chip, what do you got? What are you bringing this week from. The good book? **Chip** (00:59:18:03 - 00:59:21:05): All right, we're staying in the water. We're staying pretty burnt. **Thomas** (00:59:21:06 - 00:59:22:21): I love it, stay burnt. **Chip** (00:59:22:22 - 00:59:25:18): Thomas, I'd like to talk to you a little bit about surfing. **Thomas** (00:59:25:19 - 00:59:28:01): Oh, dude, I would love to talk about surfing. **Chip** (00:59:28:01 - 00:59:34:09): Serving is great exercise. Yeah. It's meditative. Chicks dig it. **Thomas** (00:59:34:13 - 00:59:35:11): Oh, they do. **Chip** (00:59:35:12 - 00:59:40:03): But surfing is now a form of transportation. **Thomas** (00:59:40:04 - 00:59:41:09): Oh, tell me about it. **Chip** (00:59:41:10 - 00:59:50:13): If you happen to find yourself in Indonesia at the right time and place and you have your board with you. Yeah, then hop on. You can have a commute. **Thomas** (00:59:50:14 - 00:59:52:17): All right. Tell me about it. Dude, this is interesting. **Chip** (00:59:52:17 - 01:00:00:03): This is the world record for the farthest distance surfed on a tidal bore wave. **Thomas** (01:00:00:05 - 01:00:03:05): I don't even know what. I don't know what any of that means. **Chip** (01:00:03:05 - 01:00:21:00): Here's. I actually had to look it up. We learned things on December podcast. That's why I love this. I learned what a tidal bore wave is. First of all, this is just crazy. A tidal wave comes from the tides. Its title. Right? And everybody always thinks of like a tidal wave is like a giant wave, like a tsunami. It's definitely not a tsunami. It gets a completely different experience. Okay. Yeah, but, Thomas, you're aware of the tides. They come in, they come out. You know, sometimes when the tide comes in, it might go up into the bay, even up into a river. So a river will sort of. **Thomas** (01:00:36:02 - 01:00:36:08): Run. **Chip** (01:00:36:08 - 01:00:53:11): Through it, run up like water will go upstream a little bit during high tide when it's pushing through it. Right. Because what happens is you have all that water from the ocean, and then it gets squeezed into the river. And especially if the river gets a little more narrow, all of that water gets squeezed in and the pressure is higher. So you have this gigantic wave of water that that comes in and out four times a day, right? Yeah. High tide twice a day. Low tide twice a day. **Thomas** (01:01:03:05 - 01:01:04:04): Oh, interesting. **Chip** (01:01:04:05 - 01:01:21:08): And then it can just be this wave on this river. If it's just the right speed, if it's a little too fast, it'll break. If it's if it's a little too slow that they'll break and it'll still come up. But if you have a the right speed, it'll just sort of be this wall of water that comes up the river for. Yeah, potentially miles. Okay. On a daily basis maybe. Okay. **Thomas** (01:01:25:20 - 01:01:26:20): Yeah. **Chip** (01:01:26:22 - 01:01:54:15): Okay. So it is it can be very dangerous. But okay. So a tidal bore wave is when the tide comes up a river and it gets narrow. That's what it is. And so in Indonesia they have the well-known Bono tidal wave on the camper River in India, in Sumatra. Okay. So it is the Bono tidal bore wave. That is not to be confused with the Bono title bore. **Thomas** (01:01:54:21 - 01:01:55:07): Yeah. **Chip** (01:01:55:08 - 01:02:00:23): Which is a ten minute speech from U2's frontman in between songs. **Thomas** (01:02:01:00 - 01:02:01:23): Yeah. **Chip** (01:02:02:01 - 01:02:08:13): Okay, now I want to take you back to March 10th of 2016. Okay. A decade ago. **Thomas** (01:02:08:14 - 01:02:09:12): Decade ago. **Chip** (01:02:09:16 - 01:02:24:19): Australian surfer James Cotton, who hopped on the Bono title bore in the camper River in Indonesia. And he rode that wave. Do you want to take a guess how long of a distance he rode that wave? **Thomas** (01:02:24:21 - 01:02:30:11): Freaking a cotton. I'm going to go with a mile point two. **Chip** (01:02:30:13 - 01:02:33:09): Can you imagine how impressive that would actually be to go full mile? **Thomas** (01:02:33:10 - 01:02:33:23): I can't. **Chip** (01:02:34:00 - 01:02:37:12): He went 10.6 miles. **Thomas** (01:02:37:13 - 01:02:42:22): Oh my God. I mean, it's still you explain the physics of how it's possible. How is it possible? **Chip** (01:02:42:22 - 01:03:08:06): It just it's water just rushing up he goes. 10.6 miles. Thomas, I did the math. Yeah, I did the math. That would be like riding a surfboard. Thomas, from your house to Dodger Stadium with a lot less traffic. Yeah, we went 12 miles an hour. Roughly about 12 miles an hour. Wow. 10.6 miles. Okay. **Thomas** (01:03:08:07 - 01:03:09:08): Wow. **Chip** (01:03:09:10 - 01:03:17:09): So he just road this wave? He. There was up to an eight foot face of the wave. I mean, that's how big. **Thomas** (01:03:17:10 - 01:03:19:00): Yeah, that's a solid wave, dude. **Chip** (01:03:19:00 - 01:03:24:04): And when he was done, he was literally up the creek without a paddle. **Thomas** (01:03:24:05 - 01:03:25:14): Yeah, just a board. **Chip** (01:03:25:14 - 01:03:35:15): So congratulations to James Cotton for writing the Bono Tidal bore wave for 10.6 miles. **Thomas** (01:03:35:18 - 01:04:00:04): Hats off, Mr. Cotton. Incredible work, incredible work. Way to get into the good book. Chip. That's it. Episode 60 of the Sunburnt podcast. In the books, you can leave us a message for the Trouble in Paradise. Hotline at (310) 845-6038. Please do. We'll have some fun. Leave your worst story, your funniest story from travel. You can tell us anything. You can be anonymous. You don't have to be anonymous, but do it. Call the number. Leave us a story. This is the sunburnt podcast. We talk about comedy and tropical travel. And till next time, stay burnt. Front desk. **Chip** (01:04:15:21 - 01:04:18:04): Kalamazoo, Michigan. You're on the air. **Thomas** (01:04:18:06 - 01:04:26:11): Mr. Chantry, I know it's you. Please stop doing your Larry King impression. He's been deceased for five years now. It's distasteful. **Chip** (01:04:26:11 - 01:04:31:21): I need more towels and some more coffee packets. Your thoughts? **Thomas** (01:04:31:23 - 01:04:33:06): I'll send them right up. **Chip** (01:04:33:06 - 01:04:43:05): What is going to do? Are they just. It's going to be. AI is what it's going to be. Hey, there it is. That's the podcast. You've been great. We'll see you all next week. Boom! Done.