Cinco De Mayo Cartel Conspiracy, Lighthouse Lunatics & Butt Knife Fish 🌴🍹 | Sunburnt Podcast Ep. 59

**Thomas** (00:00:00:01 - 00:00:03:04): It's our Cinco de Mayo spectacular. **Chip** (00:00:03:04 - 00:00:09:09): I literally last year started looking for potential lighthouse keeper jobs. **Thomas** (00:00:09:09 - 00:00:13:07): Me and the pickle boys, we took our kids to see the Falcon. **Chip** (00:00:13:10 - 00:00:17:03): No offense. You're a great guy, Jonas. Question I've ever been asked in my entire life. **Thomas** (00:00:17:04 - 00:00:30:10): Margarita. Boss. Margarita. Boss. What up? Burnt ones. This is the sunburn podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. To my right, as always. You know, I'm from Netflix on the series tires and his amazing stand a special move closer. It's Chip Chantry. **Chip** (00:00:30:10 - 00:00:41:14): And over here to my left is Mr. Thomas O'Brien, Emmy Award winning producer, writer, and my pal. Grab a float, put on your earphones and drift away. Grab them by tie. **Thomas** (00:00:41:15 - 00:00:48:22): Because it's great to be in the tropics with your boys. 00:00:49:00 – 00:00:52:04 UNRESOLVED – All right, so. **Chip** (00:00:52:06 - 00:00:57:13): And that is my new Harry styles tattoo. It's still a little. Still a little raw. **Thomas** (00:00:57:14 - 00:00:58:17): You're a really big fan, man. **Chip** (00:00:58:17 - 00:01:00:12): I think. I think it's a good likeness. **Thomas** (00:01:00:14 - 00:01:21:06): I mean, the work is okay, Chip. The work is okay. But actually, we've already started. We've started recording. Great. What a burnt once the sun burnt podcast. We have just an absolute heater of an episode, chip, a banger, a real banger. And Chip has agreed. As I read off the teases to you to respond like he's in church. **Chip** (00:01:21:07 - 00:01:21:20): Amen. **Thomas** (00:01:21:21 - 00:01:31:18): Amen. So here we go. This is what we're getting into. Someone is messing with your Cinco de Mayo Margarita. It's not your bartender. It's not inflation. It's the cartel. **Chip** (00:01:31:19 - 00:01:34:11): Amen. **Thomas** (00:01:34:13 - 00:01:38:03): The mainland's mucking up Pokeballs, and no one's surprised. **Chip** (00:01:38:03 - 00:01:39:08): And also with you. **Thomas** (00:01:39:09 - 00:01:43:23): A four time Grammy winner is performing nightly under a banyan tree in Maui. **Chip** (00:01:44:00 - 00:01:45:13): Hallelujah. **Thomas** (00:01:45:15 - 00:01:52:17): Hootie and the Blowfish made their stagecoach debut in India last weekend, and apparently they're interested in fighting the power. **Chip** (00:01:52:17 - 00:01:54:12): And also with you. **Thomas** (00:01:54:14 - 00:01:57:14): Saint Kitts is sinking airplanes on purpose. **Chip** (00:01:57:15 - 00:01:58:22): Amen. **Thomas** (00:01:59:00 - 00:02:08:07): And the sunburnt podcast has a new hero, Chip. He's a beach resort boss in Aruba who just got knighted by a real king. **Chip** (00:02:08:09 - 00:02:09:23): He is risen, baby. **Thomas** (00:02:10:00 - 00:02:11:14): We got Buffett facts. **Chip** (00:02:11:15 - 00:02:19:06): Oh, Amen. I didn't know that was. That was a whole. I was waiting for more. But. Amen to that, brother. **Thomas** (00:02:19:08 - 00:02:23:09): We've got buffet facts. A fierce fighter takes fish of the week. **Chip** (00:02:23:09 - 00:02:26:11): Made it. Lord bless and keep you all. **Thomas** (00:02:26:13 - 00:02:33:13): The good fucking certified. A man has a hotel collection that you need to check out. **Chip** (00:02:33:15 - 00:02:37:04): Yes you do. Here, here. **Thomas** (00:02:37:06 - 00:03:03:23): The Trouble in Paradise hotline is open. You can leave us a voicemail at (310) 845-6038. And depending on when you call, you may hear a very, very intriguing voice. Chip, you might get to talk with somebody. We've mentioned on the podcast before. They've never been on, but they we got them answering the phones every once in a while, and you can have a real conversation with them if you. **Chip** (00:03:03:23 - 00:03:07:05): Want to. Yes. It may be the man upstairs. **Thomas** (00:03:07:07 - 00:03:31:10): It just might be. Don't. And Jeff, if we use your story next week on the sunburnt podcast, we're going to send you a bottle of this Hawaiian Tropic shear touch. It might be 30, it might be 50. We're not going to promise an SPF, but we will promise you it'll be great for an old fashioned slather. Let's get going, buddy. **Chip** (00:03:31:12 - 00:03:35:19): Slathering it up. It's it's almost like communion. It really is. **Thomas** (00:03:35:21 - 00:03:37:08): Really is. Dude. **Chip** (00:03:37:09 - 00:03:39:12): We're going to slather town, is what I like to say. **Thomas** (00:03:39:13 - 00:04:02:13): Oh slather town. Oh, Chip, I am fired up. Dude. These stories this week are great, buddy. Yeah. Can't wait to dig into the with you. This is the sunburn podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. If you think those two things should go together, stay tuned. Front desk. **Chip** (00:04:03:11 - 00:04:09:06): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. I'm going to need two more ironing boards and eight more towels sent up to the room. **Thomas** (00:04:09:07 - 00:04:14:21): Mr. Chantry, you have to stop building tower forts in your room. It's against the fire counts. **Chip** (00:04:14:22 - 00:04:19:10): I'm not building a tall fort. I'm building an empire. **Thomas** (00:04:19:12 - 00:04:21:06): Hell, Mr. Chantry. **Chip** (00:04:21:07 - 00:04:23:00): Chip Camus. **Thomas** (00:04:23:02 - 00:04:29:15): It's episode 59 of the sunburnt podcast, buddy. It's our Cinco de Mayo. Spectacular. **Chip** (00:04:29:18 - 00:04:34:23): Amazing. I can't believe it's already the Cinco of, well, Mayo. Really? **Thomas** (00:04:35:02 - 00:04:44:10): Yeah, I mean, that's right there in the name, and. But I can't help but notice you are just flying out there in the open with that Hawaiian buddy. **Chip** (00:04:44:12 - 00:05:06:08): This it is a bit it is a big day in Philadelphia for us. I can literally just wear in my basement a Hawaiian shirt with a thermal underwear underneath. Yeah, but no over coating, no hoodie. It's. It is currently 56 degrees in Philadelphia. Probably, probably a couple more in my basement, which is nice. And I'm feeling I'm feeling good. I'm feeling summery. I was wearing shorts yesterday for a little bit. The temps are starting to creep up and daddy loves it. **Thomas** (00:05:13:11 - 00:05:26:03): Oh dude, I love it so much for you bud. And also I love it. For the thumbnails, there's a noted. There's a noted drop in our tropical ness when your Hawaiian is covered up by a sweatshirt. **Chip** (00:05:26:03 - 00:05:28:02): When I'm wearing a shawl. Exactly. **Thomas** (00:05:28:03 - 00:05:35:01): When you're wearing a Christian shawl that hides your in bird world, they'd say plumage. **Chip** (00:05:35:02 - 00:05:37:23): If I can't live in bird world, I don't want to live at all. **Thomas** (00:05:38:01 - 00:05:41:05): Buddy. I was at a, you know, semi-tropical resort. **Chip** (00:05:41:08 - 00:05:43:09): You were at. You were at Bird World this weekend. **Thomas** (00:05:43:10 - 00:05:44:18): I was at Bird World this weekend. **Chip** (00:05:44:18 - 00:05:45:16): Perusing some birds. **Thomas** (00:05:45:17 - 00:05:54:01): The family went to tyranny. It's like this Palos Verdes resort. Nice to this. Beautiful. It's right in the ocean. You can see Catalina across the way. **Chip** (00:05:54:02 - 00:05:54:15): Nice. **Thomas** (00:05:54:16 - 00:06:04:18): They have, like, some enrichment programs. They're trying to keep you on resort. And one of the offerings they have is a falconer. Chip. **Chip** (00:06:04:20 - 00:06:05:20): Oh. **Thomas** (00:06:05:21 - 00:06:10:08): Me and the pickle boys. We took our kids to see the falconer. **Chip** (00:06:10:10 - 00:06:11:03): Nice. **Thomas** (00:06:11:07 - 00:06:12:01): We saw it. **Chip** (00:06:12:02 - 00:06:16:15): Okay. Did the. Were the pickled girls there too? Or just. This is just the dads. **Thomas** (00:06:16:16 - 00:06:19:16): This is just the dads. Pickle girls were at the spa. **Chip** (00:06:19:18 - 00:06:20:08): Nice. **Thomas** (00:06:20:09 - 00:06:42:21): We kind of divvy it up. The girls take the kids sometimes and the dads do something. We took a pickleball lesson at this. Very, very like these courts were overlooking the ocean, dude. And they had, like, a clubhouse that looked like somebody's living room with just these sweeping ocean views. It was really, really pretty. Yeah. Got a nice game in one of the pickle lives. Made us Pickle Boy t shirts. **Chip** (00:06:45:20 - 00:06:46:17): Nice. **Thomas** (00:06:46:18 - 00:07:12:10): In celebration of our major championship, which we did not get trophies for. She also made us little pickleball trophies. They had a crown on him. Really, really spectacular weekend. But back to the Falconer chip. Yeah, this resort used to be the home of a theme park called, I think, Marineland. Okay. It was like a SeaWorld rip off, and they just filled the pools up with concrete. And right there on this peninsula built this really, really nice resort. **Chip** (00:07:15:20 - 00:07:19:15): I'm assuming they took the fish out before they filled them up. **Thomas** (00:07:19:15 - 00:07:40:16): I would hope so. I think they relocated the Marina. I don't know, it was a long time ago, buddy, but apparently, yeah, they were feeding all these animals like endless amounts of fish guts. And there was human food all over the place, a theme park. There's funnel cakes, there's French fries. And see, seagulls had taken over the whole resort. **Chip** (00:07:40:16 - 00:07:41:06): It's rough. **Thomas** (00:07:41:07 - 00:07:56:01): Yeah, they had learned to nest there. There was just this whole community of seagulls. So to get them away, when they built this very nice resort, they started hiring falconers that would bring in falcons and hawks to chase the seagulls away. **Chip** (00:07:56:02 - 00:08:13:16): Incredible. They have that in Ocean City. There's a guy who just really he's like, he's like a security guard. But he roams with and I, I want to say it's a hawk, not a falcon, but and it, it, it keeps the, it keeps the seagulls literally at bay. **Thomas** (00:08:13:18 - 00:08:18:14): Yeah. Yeah. It keeps them out in the bay. Yeah, but no, he showed us a falcon. **Chip** (00:08:18:14 - 00:08:21:19): So he's but but so he's, like, interacting with you then two. **Thomas** (00:08:21:20 - 00:08:39:19): There was probably 20 people there. He gave us the most in-depth rundown of what like a falconer does and like what he does on the property. And he is he's a burnt one. There's no way he's not a burnt one. Of course, he's like, I started doing falconry in the 70s. And he was like, I did it for 20, 25 years. And then something clicked in my mind, like, I could get paid to do this. And he's like, I found different ways to start making money with my Falcons. And now that's all I do start. **Chip** (00:08:50:07 - 00:09:01:03): Okay, by the way. Okay. So that's like 1992 ish. I'm going to put him when he has this revolution and he's like, I can start finding out ways to make money with my Falcons. **Thomas** (00:09:01:04 - 00:09:02:13): Yeah. And so what he does. **Chip** (00:09:02:14 - 00:09:08:08): The amount of the just the possibilities. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:09:08:10 - 00:09:09:05): Because of that. **Chip** (00:09:09:05 - 00:09:11:16): Feather could be on either side of the law with that. **Thomas** (00:09:11:17 - 00:09:13:18): Oh I think he's playing both sides to a certain. **Chip** (00:09:13:19 - 00:09:15:02): Extent as he should be. **Thomas** (00:09:15:03 - 00:09:25:23): But what he does is he, he multiple times a week, like almost every day he brings seven birds and flies them at this resort to keep the seagulls away. **Chip** (00:09:26:00 - 00:09:28:18): Now they have a falcon problem, but that's okay. It's a different type of problem. **Thomas** (00:09:28:18 - 00:09:40:19): It's a different type of problem. There's a lot less poo poo. I guess that was the big deals like these seagulls. They were chomping at everybody's food, but they were also making the place an absolute mess. They had. **Chip** (00:09:40:19 - 00:09:41:20): To push it right through. **Thomas** (00:09:41:23 - 00:09:57:06): They had to, you know, power wash everything all the time. But dude. He brought out a falcon. He brought out a hawk, and then he brought out this gigantic owl. Dude, this owl is like, bang! It's the one that has the feather ears that. **Chip** (00:09:57:08 - 00:09:58:12): Yeah. Oh, yeah. **Thomas** (00:09:58:13 - 00:10:02:23): And he let he let the baby pet this big owl. **Chip** (00:10:03:01 - 00:10:04:15): Oh. Would you. What did she think? **Thomas** (00:10:04:16 - 00:10:13:18): She said, I pet, I pet bird is what she thought. That was the big thought. And she was right I touched it too. Feels like silk. **Chip** (00:10:14:00 - 00:10:14:16): Really. **Thomas** (00:10:14:17 - 00:10:16:11): A very silky plumage. **Chip** (00:10:16:12 - 00:10:27:16): Just a big silky owl. A big that makes it a little less terrifying. Still terrifying at night for a giant out to swoop on down, but oh, it's silky smooth. That is a consolation. **Thomas** (00:10:27:17 - 00:10:36:20): I think that's why they're so quiet. They fly so quiet because they got those nice feathers. Anyways, enough about that. It was a very it was a very nice weekend. The sun was out. **Chip** (00:10:36:21 - 00:10:40:15): What a burnt one. Just just a falconer just out there. **Thomas** (00:10:40:16 - 00:10:59:06): Who chose his own path. Dude, I'm telling you, there is nobody I've ever met who I'm like, this guy is living a life he doesn't need a vacation from, right? Which is one of the catchphrases of the podcast. It's comedy. It's tropical travel and living a life you don't need a vacation from. That's what we're doing here, Chip. **Chip** (00:10:59:07 - 00:11:07:18): I think I'm going to start a business where I just bring seagulls to resorts like I have my own flock. Literally a flock of seagulls. **Thomas** (00:11:07:19 - 00:11:08:07): Yeah. **Chip** (00:11:08:07 - 00:11:12:04): And I just bring them in to keep falcons away. **Thomas** (00:11:12:04 - 00:11:25:03): I think this is the business model that all the AI companies are using. I think they're all investing in each other. There seems to be some kind of circular money tornado. You know, we don't understand money, but we know you can make it a tornado. **Chip** (00:11:25:04 - 00:11:26:01): We obviously know that. **Thomas** (00:11:26:02 - 00:11:46:00): Yeah. Company A invest in company B, which invests in company C, which invests in company A, and they're just circulating this money to make it look good on paper. But I think you hook up with this falconer and he brings in his falcons. You bring in your seagulls and we can just watch them money swirl around baby. **Chip** (00:11:46:03 - 00:11:48:21): And 100% in where do I sign. **Thomas** (00:11:48:22 - 00:11:55:07): Now we've created a bird economy. It's not part of the tagline of the podcast, but also something we've been very interested in. **Chip** (00:11:55:07 - 00:11:56:17): Bird con. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:11:56:18 - 00:12:00:16): Bird con. Yeah. All right. This is. **Chip** (00:12:00:18 - 00:12:09:00): This episode actually is brought to you by Bird Con 27, which is coming up in San Diego this July. **Thomas** (00:12:09:02 - 00:12:16:22): Yeah. Hatching soon. All right, let's just jump into it. It's time for a for the l go. **Chip** (00:12:17:00 - 00:12:18:06): For the algo. **Thomas** (00:12:18:07 - 00:12:28:08): This is a segment we do where we talk about things that hopefully you'll like, but more importantly, our robot overlords will enjoy enough to share it with more people. **Chip** (00:12:28:11 - 00:12:37:12): Yes. Thank you robot overlords. We flip you on your tummies and rub them. So you kick those little robot legs with these stories. **Thomas** (00:12:37:14 - 00:12:56:17): Yeah. No, AI, we're rubbing the little belly. Dude, Cinco de Mayo is coming up. And there is a big issue this year. Chip cartels are running up the price on limes and margaritas. The Cinco de Mayo are skyrocketing in price. **Chip** (00:12:56:18 - 00:13:02:01): I'm glad. I'm glad we're getting this story out of the way. Incensed. I mean, since. **Thomas** (00:13:02:03 - 00:13:13:15): Chip is fired up, Mexican drug cartels have moved into the live distribution business in a serious way. They've created what they're calling an artificial supply squeeze, which is an interesting. **Chip** (00:13:13:15 - 00:13:14:14): Word squeeze. **Thomas** (00:13:14:14 - 00:13:44:13): To have in there with the limes that's rippling all the way up to your neighborhood bars. Dude, this is a story PBS NewsHour is reporting on. Yep. So, like, it kind of has a little gravitas towards it that a lime story might otherwise not. And, you know, bars across the country are prepping for margaritas, season Cinco de Mayo and are getting absolutely crushed by the lime prices currently. **Chip** (00:13:44:18 - 00:14:05:02): It's just another example of the 1%. And the people with the money just they don't know where to stop. It's like you are the drug cartels. You have the drugs. Great. Hey, do you want to do a little bit on the side with some maybe some horse betting? Sure. Go ahead. But now they're going into citrus. Are you kidding me? Like they don't have enough yet? Yeah, like it's just we're going to have the the sprite wars of the 2030s. That's that's coming around the bend. Yeah. Because we won't be able to have sprite because the cartels will be locking it down because they can't, that you just can't have your cocaine and enjoy it. No, thanks. **Thomas** (00:14:25:04 - 00:14:31:10): No thanks. Dude, I'm going to take the other side here. Dude, I you know, I've always been a fan of a smart business. **Chip** (00:14:31:13 - 00:14:32:05): Yes, you are. **Thomas** (00:14:32:06 - 00:14:50:01): Big business. I think these guys really have their fingers on the pulse. I mean, they're operating outside of a traditional, like, business. I don't know, standards, maybe, but they are running great businesses. They've got some really smart guys over there making it happen. **Chip** (00:14:50:02 - 00:15:05:12): Okay, maybe I'll take it back, because back in the 70s, there was a guy who followed his passion. And then 25 years later, he's like, I'm going to make it so I can make money off these birds. Yep. Some guy down in Guadalajara is doing the same thing with limes. **Thomas** (00:15:05:12 - 00:15:09:09): It's called narco economic market manipulation chip. **Chip** (00:15:09:09 - 00:15:16:22): That's that's actually my, my Hotmail password, and I need to change it now. I'll put it 69 at the end of it. **Thomas** (00:15:17:00 - 00:15:24:14): If you guys want to get the password to the big chipper at Hotmail. Narco economic market manipulation 69. **Chip** (00:15:29:08 - 00:15:33:13): Yeah. Check out to see who I was emailing in 2002. **Thomas** (00:15:33:15 - 00:16:01:09): Dude, the thing that makes me chuckle a little bit is like, in order for this to happen because it's such a big shift from what they were doing before, like the main business, they were like probably was a PowerPoint presentation where like some accountant was standing up in front of like the most powerful man in like North America and like, and just talking about, like, fruit futures. And everybody's looking around and they're just like, you know what? We've had some like very, very good products. But this lime business that's going to be the one dude. **Chip** (00:16:12:08 - 00:16:45:01): I, I 100% agree I and not to get into it and I forget the full story. But like if you want to look at just criminal behavior and just global conspiracy. Yeah. Check out check out the banana trades of the last century or so. Just what the United States has done and overthrown nations, basically. And just railroad literally railroaded millions of people because of the price of bananas to ship bananas up to the good old U.S. of a it's. Yeah, this is nothing new. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by these, this citrus black market. **Thomas** (00:16:52:19 - 00:17:07:22): And I'm also wondering, it's just like what's obviously, like, they've got a main business that is aside from the fruit thing, but who's doing more market manipulation? The cartel or like Coca Cola when we're talking about. **Chip** (00:17:07:23 - 00:17:08:04): Oh. **Thomas** (00:17:08:04 - 00:17:10:01): Yeah, sweet fruit juices. **Chip** (00:17:10:02 - 00:17:11:11): It is true. That is true. **Thomas** (00:17:11:12 - 00:17:30:06): Bars are now quietly rationing limes or substituting with bottled juices. Which does mean, unfortunately, that like unless the price goes way up, what the cartels doing means the quality of your drink is going down. **Chip** (00:17:30:08 - 00:17:32:06): Yeah. It's, **Thomas** (00:17:32:08 - 00:17:39:22): Dude, can you remember a specific margarita? Is there like one that stands out as the best or like a margarita memory that comes to mind? **Chip** (00:17:40:01 - 00:17:46:13): Thomas. It's I know, offense. You're a great guy. Dumbest question I've ever been asked in my entire. **Thomas** (00:17:46:19 - 00:17:47:08): I apologize. **Chip** (00:17:47:10 - 00:17:52:18): I am. I am ready, locked and loaded to answer this question right now. **Thomas** (00:17:52:20 - 00:17:53:06): All right. **Chip** (00:17:53:10 - 00:17:57:11): I literally had it two days ago. **Thomas** (00:17:57:13 - 00:17:58:06): What. **Chip** (00:17:58:10 - 00:18:00:08): Two days ago? Yep. Had the best. **Thomas** (00:18:00:09 - 00:18:02:06): All right, well, tell us about it. **Chip** (00:18:02:07 - 00:18:28:07): Okay, now, this might be sacrilege. I will say this. I've had some great margaritas over the years on vacation. It. I'll tell you. Right. In South Philly, there are because there's there's great Mexican restaurants in South Philly, other places that do it. But I had my favorite margarita and I've had it many a times. My buddy Casey Parker and his buddy Joe Gun, they own a a small chain of. I don't even, I guess, a chain. They own a number of bars in Philadelphia called Jose Pistoles. One is called Pistoles del sur, and they have there's a Sancho Pistoles and they are just really good beer bars with cocktails as well as you'll see with amazing Mexican food. **Thomas** (00:18:48:10 - 00:18:49:00): Wow. **Chip** (00:18:49:03 - 00:18:56:18): And by the way, I don't know if we've mentioned this. We had the best taco at Monkey Pod. **Thomas** (00:18:56:19 - 00:18:58:03): Monkey Pod and Waikiki. **Chip** (00:18:58:09 - 00:19:01:05): A few weeks ago. I had one that rivaled that. **Thomas** (00:19:01:05 - 00:19:01:18): Really. **Chip** (00:19:01:19 - 00:19:07:08): Just at happy hour outside of Pistoles del Sur in South Philadelphia. You walked right past it. Thomas. **Thomas** (00:19:07:12 - 00:19:08:13): He's passing Oak. **Chip** (00:19:08:16 - 00:19:10:19): East Passyunk. Boy, you you're nailing it. **Thomas** (00:19:10:20 - 00:19:12:17): Yeah, I remember, I remember, I remember. **Chip** (00:19:12:17 - 00:19:36:07): I had a scallop a scallop tacos. Incredible, incredible. So maybe not monkey pod quality but but close. But they make their a margarita and okay so this is probably sacrilege. They literally have it in like kegs. Like they have like a, like a dispenser of it. So it's not just like made every time. Like I guess they make like a yeah. **Thomas** (00:19:36:08 - 00:19:38:01): Like a batch a batch, make. **Chip** (00:19:38:02 - 00:19:41:12): A batch of it. And then they have it on tap base so they marks on tap. **Thomas** (00:19:41:13 - 00:19:43:03): I love that I love that. **Chip** (00:19:43:04 - 00:20:05:01): And so the consistency is there I know maybe it's like maybe the artistry isn't there. But it's and I'll tell you the key. And I've told him this many times, this margarita is not sweet, not overly sweet. You get the lime, you get a little of the saltiness. I don't even get salt on the rim, but you just it's just very basic. And it's still because it lets it lets the tequila come out a little bit. Yeah, there's a little sweetness to it, but it's just, you know, sometimes you have a margin. You're like, all right, I just have one and I'm done because I can't have all that, all that sweetness. **Thomas** (00:20:17:21 - 00:20:19:02): All that sugar. **Chip** (00:20:19:03 - 00:20:24:10): Oh, man, I just I want one right now. Thomas, how about you? Where where's the best mark you've ever had? **Thomas** (00:20:24:10 - 00:20:44:22): I think it's, like, very time and location dependent, but, Playa Escondida or Escondido, I always forget where I did my honeymoon. They just had this beach bar. Like, it's actually. If you've ever seen Bachelor in Paradise for the first, you know, however many seasons it was around. **Chip** (00:20:44:22 - 00:20:46:23): I have them all on DVD. So, yes. **Thomas** (00:20:46:23 - 00:21:23:07): There's this little beach bar that is right there on the ocean in that show. And like, that's the beach bar at this resort. They like, use it as a shooting location or whatever. And it's like it services this whole beachfront of the resort. And just like I, it was the first time I think I ever, like, really like got into margaritas, like beside the, you know, like the margarita machines or whatever going out like, and New York, there was a, a place called Blockheads that had these super cheap margaritas, and I would go ham on those back in the day. **Chip** (00:21:23:08 - 00:21:30:03): Okay, let me stop you right there. A quick question. Are you a frozen mark or a mark on the rocks? Man. **Thomas** (00:21:30:05 - 00:21:38:11): It really depends. I was a I was a frozen marg until this experience where they were out there and they were juice in the limes for real. **Chip** (00:21:38:13 - 00:21:39:18): I'm an on the rocks guy, too. **Thomas** (00:21:39:23 - 00:21:48:15): They were, you know, they were putting the quantrill in. They were putting the agave in, they were shaking it up and they would, you know, there was no small ones. They were all in pint glasses. **Chip** (00:21:48:16 - 00:21:48:21): Of. **Thomas** (00:21:48:21 - 00:21:58:21): Course, and they would like start trying to push them on you the second you touch the beach chair. So it's 930 and like just Margarita boss, Margarita boss. **Chip** (00:21:58:22 - 00:21:59:22): Of course. **Thomas** (00:21:59:22 - 00:22:24:22): And of course you would. Yeah. And I've said this many times to it was like not only was it delicious, but like we had maybe 2 million margaritas over the course of our honeymoon. Yeah, we were there for nine days just at the same beach location. Yeah. And we ate on property every day. They had, like, a great chef on property, making all the meals there. They would come out and talk to you. There was this chicken I really liked. I told the waiter like, I ordered it three times, and the waiter was like, let me, let me see what I can do. And he came back out with the recipe. The chef wrote himself for how to make this chicken, and it was just fantastic. So we, we had so many food or so much food, so many drinks. **Chip** (00:22:48:02 - 00:22:50:02): We have so many food. We have so many foods. **Thomas** (00:22:50:03 - 00:22:51:04): We have so many. **Chip** (00:22:51:04 - 00:22:52:20): Foods, we have so many food. **Thomas** (00:22:53:02 - 00:23:09:04): But at the end of nine days, I was expecting the food and beverage bill to be in the tens of thousands. Of course, even the total bill was $554. Something along those lines. **Chip** (00:23:09:04 - 00:23:10:02): For the week. **Thomas** (00:23:10:03 - 00:23:13:03): For the week? Oh no. For nine days. **Chip** (00:23:13:03 - 00:23:14:02): For 99 days. **Thomas** (00:23:14:02 - 00:23:17:08): Yeah. We did not eat one meal off property. **Chip** (00:23:17:10 - 00:23:18:01): That's incredible. **Thomas** (00:23:18:01 - 00:23:40:21): For two people. And I mean we in buying heavily. So these drinks were a fantastic value. They really took care of us. But like yeah, that was it. Like I fell in love with the real thing the the juice, lemon. And then during the pandemic, we, we experimented. We kind of dialed in a margarita we liked at the house and but yeah, it's a it's a great beverage, but I, I really do. I like the fresh made fresh with the limes and that's getting more and more expensive. **Chip** (00:23:46:03 - 00:24:08:11): But it is I know by the way, I do want to give one other shout out to South Philadelphia zone blue corn, great restaurant in the Italian market that makes one part of my language. Heck of a margarita as well. But like, also like, I can't believe all of that food. That $500 for a I mean, why are we not there now? **Thomas** (00:24:08:12 - 00:24:23:17): Great question. Yeah, it's it was unbelievable. It was a really, really nice time. And no cell phone service did. No cell phone service. Really. Not any WiFi. We were, like, disconnected on this tropical beach for almost, you know, ten days. **Chip** (00:24:23:17 - 00:24:24:23): I love it, I love it. **Thomas** (00:24:25:00 - 00:24:27:18): It was a really nice time. I can't recommend it enough. **Chip** (00:24:27:19 - 00:24:31:10): Let's, I guess maybe buckle up for some for some lime shortages. **Thomas** (00:24:31:11 - 00:24:43:13): Moving on to the next story. Someone put cauliflower in a Pokeball, and a man was so infuriated, he wrote a whole defense of Hawaii because of it. **Chip** (00:24:43:14 - 00:24:46:13): I mean, just what a little cauliflower can do, apparently. **Thomas** (00:24:46:14 - 00:24:56:20): Like so Hawaii, they take a lot of pride in their pokey. Sure. And you've had it. Foodland. Unbelievable. **Chip** (00:24:56:21 - 00:25:02:07): It's sitting in a parking lot in Foodland with some roosters. And your father? **Thomas** (00:25:02:09 - 00:25:04:01): Yeah, and my father. **Chip** (00:25:04:02 - 00:25:05:08): One of the best meals of my life. **Thomas** (00:25:05:08 - 00:25:11:07): That's it. Like the freshness is. The feature, right? **Chip** (00:25:11:08 - 00:25:36:07): And simplicity. Yes. Boy, I don't want to bite the hand, the feeds, but, Foodland, the supermarket. It is just a supermarket, which I love. The supermarket, but they have, like, the deli section is actually like a Poké section where they just make they have just different varieties. I'll be honest. Like, I thought mine was amazing. Like I would have had it even more simple than like the little the the tangy, the spicy sauce that was on there. Yeah, it's like, give me some rice, give me some fish. I'm good. And it was it delivered. **Thomas** (00:25:41:23 - 00:26:14:05): Yeah. No. People love it. Hawaii Magazine is reporting that Hawaii's Pokeballs are under cultural siege. Author Kevin Allen published a full defense of the dishes, simplicity and local roots on April 21st of this year. The word pokey literally means to slice or dice. Ancient Hawaiians were eating cubed fish with seaweed and coconuts for centuries before anyone thought to invite quinoa to the party chip. Yeah, the tradition evolved as Chinese and Japanese immigrants shaped island food culture. What you get today at local spots like Foodland is the direct descendant of that centuries old bowl. So basically what's happened is there's a long tradition of this being a very specific dish, and it's just spreading. You know, it's coming to the mainland. People are advertising that they have the best pokey in the world. There is some pokey that have, like, risen up the charts, like the ratings and like, surpass some of the Hawaiian island pokey. And they're just not having any of that nonsense on the islands. Chip. **Chip** (00:26:56:02 - 00:27:02:13): No, because they're they're putting bells and whistles on it. You don't need bells and whistles on simple perfection. **Thomas** (00:27:02:13 - 00:27:20:17): Well, I think you do when you don't have the goods. You know what I mean? When you don't have the freshness, when you don't have the fish, you're going to put a little, I don't know, chickpea slash sweet pea hummus on it. Sure. And try and make it a thing. Drizzle some sources on a plate. Smear them. **Chip** (00:27:20:18 - 00:27:21:20): Speaking of this lather. **Thomas** (00:27:21:21 - 00:27:33:23): They're slathering these things. I think Alan is right. Pokies. Not a format. No, it's a place. And freshness isn't a feature. It's the whole point. **Chip** (00:27:34:00 - 00:27:37:09): Just cubed fish and rice and that's all. That's all you need. **Thomas** (00:27:37:10 - 00:27:41:21): I'm not even a fish person. And I will go to bat for this. **Chip** (00:27:41:21 - 00:27:42:15): You will defend it. **Thomas** (00:27:42:15 - 00:27:44:04): This feels spot on, buddy. **Chip** (00:27:44:05 - 00:27:50:05): I know that's what everybody just. They they want to put that their own little spin on it. It's just like, keep it. Keep it over the plate, baby. **Thomas** (00:27:50:05 - 00:27:54:15): All right, man. Moving on. Chip, can I lay out a dream scenario for you? **Chip** (00:27:54:17 - 00:27:55:09): Lay it on me, babe. **Thomas** (00:27:55:10 - 00:28:05:08): A four time Grammy winner is playing nightly shows at an outdoor venue that cuddles right up under a historic banyan tree in a Maui. **Chip** (00:28:05:10 - 00:28:08:11): All right. Okay. The perfect, perfect scenario right there. **Thomas** (00:28:08:12 - 00:28:25:12): We love banyan trees, and we love live music underneath them with craft cocktails. Yeah. And this one includes what they're describing self-described as a incredible security board offering. **Chip** (00:28:25:14 - 00:28:29:07): I mean, just I mean, just keep just keep the offers coming, man. **Thomas** (00:28:29:08 - 00:28:44:12): I'm gonna lay it down. You. Hawaii Magazine is reporting that the Royal Lahaina Resort and Bungalows and Maui launched a nightly concert series called The Branches at their outdoor music venue beneath a century old banyan tree. **Chip** (00:28:44:12 - 00:28:45:09): That is perfection. **Thomas** (00:28:45:10 - 00:29:16:08): The headliner is Kalani Paia, a four time Grammy winning singer and songwriter performing regularly alongside local musicians at what is technically a resort lawn. It's just part of the resort. It's out there, right under this banyan tree. Kalani is the absolute man. He's released four studio albums and 100% of them have been Grammy winners. This guy is for for for. **Chip** (00:29:16:08 - 00:29:17:09): He's nailing it. **Thomas** (00:29:17:09 - 00:29:44:14): Perfection. Dude. This guy undefeated, man. Yeah. The the concert series was launched November 2024. Don't know why we're just hearing about it now. Directly after the Lahaina fires displaced hundreds of musicians who lost their regular gigs and income overnight. So the concert series was built. Is something to like. Rebuild the community and give these artists someplace to work and perform after. They're like livelihood. And, you know, for some of them, probably their houses were wiped out, right? They came together. It's a little bit further up the coast, just a little north of Lahaina, and it's been going strong ever since. And they've just grown it like they have, apparently, like this amazing cocktail selection. They've got the boards we've talked about and yeah, dude, you can just go out there. The weather's perfect. The sun setting. I'm sure there's like a cool lighting setup. And they just have all this amazing music from like, a lot of local artists. And then the headliner comes out and it's this Grammy winning, like, Hawaiian superstar, dude, this is a, you know, dream evening, a dream way to spend a night, dude. Just kicking back with all this going on. **Chip** (00:30:33:04 - 00:30:34:09): I want to go. **Thomas** (00:30:34:11 - 00:30:39:18): I know you want to go, chip. Do you care? Do you care about Shakira boards at all? **Chip** (00:30:39:22 - 00:30:41:20): I thought you were going to ask me about Shakira. **Thomas** (00:30:41:21 - 00:30:43:06): Hips don't lie. **Chip** (00:30:43:09 - 00:31:02:07): I will say I feel the same way about Shakira as I do boards. I think they're just great. I don't I don't necessarily delve into either too much. Yeah, but but I'm. I'm happy for both of them. How about you? Are you a charcuterie guy? **Thomas** (00:31:02:08 - 00:31:21:01): No, I never got it. I never got it for me. I'll be there with the cocktails all day long. But if somebody is bragging about their cute. Yeah, I'm. I'm just like, okay. Like, I like a cheese. I like a cracker. I think I get a little weird about meats on boards like me. Just sit down. **Chip** (00:31:21:02 - 00:31:27:02): Maybe you and I should split a board sometime because I'll take the meats. But I don't like the cheeses. **Thomas** (00:31:27:06 - 00:31:28:07): Oh, my God. **Chip** (00:31:28:08 - 00:31:40:15): You switch it around and I will say, like, yeah, I don't need meat just sitting out all day, but, yeah, sit down a little bit. I'll take it. I'll go for it. I see a little piece of Bologna on the sidewalk. I'll eat it. Whatever. **Thomas** (00:31:40:17 - 00:31:41:01): It could have. **Chip** (00:31:41:01 - 00:31:44:21): Been there long. **Thomas** (00:31:44:23 - 00:31:55:05): Dude, that is great. But everything else about this sounds perfect, man. It just takes me back to our nights at the Beach bar and Waikiki, baby. **Chip** (00:31:55:06 - 00:31:58:01): At the Mona. Just under that banyan tree. **Thomas** (00:31:58:02 - 00:32:10:07): That Vanua tree. Dude, that's the all timer, dude. The things that dreams are made of. Now, from your perfect evening to maybe your perfect career. **Chip** (00:32:10:08 - 00:32:11:06): Okay. **Thomas** (00:32:11:08 - 00:32:20:04): The government's hiring a lighthouse keepers again, and they want you to know, Chip, they still have your application on file from last year. **Chip** (00:32:20:05 - 00:32:28:07): Yeah, I think there was a lot of profanity in it that they didn't like, but they said I was eligible to edit that, which I think is best. **Thomas** (00:32:28:08 - 00:32:39:05): Yeah, they give you a second chances, but I think it also comes along with a mental evaluation. And you, by your own account, said you might have struggled with some of those questions. **Chip** (00:32:39:08 - 00:33:05:06): I did, I did, but that's what lighthouses are for, is to show you the way. And I think I'm learning from that example, which I think will help on the essay portion of the of the application I have. I have literally and I'm surprised I missed this story until you brought it up. Yeah. I literally last year started looking for potential lighthouse keeper jobs. Here's here's why. First of all, always loved the lighthouse. Love going to Maine. We visited Portland Head Lighthouse, which is in in South Portland, Maine. It's probably the most beautiful. Or maybe like most pictured photographed lighthouse, at least probably on the East Coast. Like, I mean, it's just gorgeous. Yeah. And but the just the solitude, he's just you're in that little house and you just gotta run upstairs every once in a while. Check that light, check the little things, run back down, and then you're good. And you just sit there, read your books. You know, you just do your thing. And my wife works in for, like, historic commissions, so it's like, maybe she could get the job being like, the historic lighthouse, you know, you know, the the the historic liaison maybe gives the tour guides, you know, all that stuff. And then I would just be the guy that, you know, switch the light bulbs. **Thomas** (00:33:57:21 - 00:33:59:22): You guys would be a lighthouse power couple. **Chip** (00:33:59:23 - 00:34:05:06): The agency is in charge of light housing. Come talk to your boy. I it would be the the perfect job. **Thomas** (00:34:05:06 - 00:34:17:05): For me. I'll tell you right now. The National Park Service is actively recruiting volunteer lighthouse keepers across the US, including Boston Light in Massachusetts and Point Reyes in California. **Chip** (00:34:17:06 - 00:34:27:12): I would love it so much. Like what is. I guess some people wouldn't like the solitude I got. My wife got my dog there. Hey, we can do the podcast as long as the the Wi-Fi is working. **Thomas** (00:34:27:16 - 00:34:32:04): Yeah, you got to have a nice Wi-Fi if you want a podcast from any of these lighthouses. **Chip** (00:34:32:04 - 00:34:36:20): But imagine how cool this would look. Instead of a basement at the top of a lighthouse. **Thomas** (00:34:36:21 - 00:34:46:12): Get up there on the top. That'd be good luck. The profession dates back to 2080 BC, before Common era, before Christ. **Chip** (00:34:46:13 - 00:34:48:18): And then he became the light of the world. **Thomas** (00:34:48:18 - 00:34:50:20): 280 years later. **Chip** (00:34:50:21 - 00:34:51:16): Some of yours later. **Thomas** (00:34:51:16 - 00:35:13:16): Yeah. The NPS volunteers program lets regular people apply online to actually live at and operate working lighthouses for extended periods. The the job postings went viral as a dream job, triggering thousands of applications from people who romanticize the solitude and till their Wi-Fi cuts out for six minutes. **Chip** (00:35:13:16 - 00:35:16:08): People are going to lose it. Then. **Thomas** (00:35:16:10 - 00:35:34:04): The application reportedly includes questions addressing your tolerance for isolation, fog and repetitive tasks. Basically, it's a personality quiz. Where I love prolonged fog. Get you an A+ instead of a very concerning grade. **Chip** (00:35:34:05 - 00:35:42:07): There is a Venn diagram there of lighthouse operators and somebody who would make a good serial killer. **Thomas** (00:35:42:07 - 00:35:45:02): I think it's a little closer to this fed diagram. **Chip** (00:35:45:03 - 00:35:48:19): Yeah, I think it's pretty much just a circle. It is just a one circle. **Thomas** (00:35:48:20 - 00:35:51:05): Have you seen the A24 movie lighthouse? **Chip** (00:35:51:06 - 00:35:53:04): Yes. With was a Robert Pattinson. **Thomas** (00:35:53:04 - 00:35:55:08): Robert Pattinson. Dafoe. **Chip** (00:35:55:10 - 00:35:55:23): Yes. **Thomas** (00:35:56:00 - 00:35:56:21): William. **Chip** (00:35:56:23 - 00:36:02:02): Oh, great. I it was it's it's wild. It's disturbing and I loved it. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:36:02:04 - 00:36:20:11): Yeah. And I think it's, spot on. Dude. I think it's spot on. I think these places will drive you mad when you you consider like that there's some of some lighthouses in great weather areas. Yes, but a majority of them are really needed because you can't see land. **Chip** (00:36:20:11 - 00:36:23:02): Dude, it's just fog. It's cold, it's rainy. **Thomas** (00:36:23:03 - 00:36:28:09): Isolation in poor weather is not a good recipe for this young man. **Chip** (00:36:28:11 - 00:36:29:09): Okay, yeah. **Thomas** (00:36:29:10 - 00:36:31:17): I get a little seasonally depressed. **Chip** (00:36:31:22 - 00:36:34:22): It would be nice if it was just a sunny day out there every day, but that's not the case. **Thomas** (00:36:34:23 - 00:36:40:10): There's also something romantic about having a job. You know, you can do. **Chip** (00:36:40:11 - 00:36:41:12): The commutes great. **Thomas** (00:36:41:12 - 00:36:56:22): And it's just quiet, dude. Yeah, it just dulls that noise. You hear the sound of the waves and really nothing else, right? I don't know if you saw it, but in a Wahoo! Right on the other side of Diamond Head, there's like a little lighthouse right on the cliff there. **Chip** (00:36:56:23 - 00:37:03:07): I have pictures of it. It's literally like at the foot of Diamond Head. You looked at your up top on diamond and you look down and it's right there. So the. **Thomas** (00:37:03:07 - 00:37:03:18): Other side. **Chip** (00:37:03:18 - 00:37:06:09): Yeah. Yes. Oh, I took photos of it. Yes. Oh it's gorgeous. **Thomas** (00:37:06:10 - 00:37:09:16): Yeah. It's it's it's really cool. And that weather is funny. **Chip** (00:37:09:22 - 00:37:13:00): So that has to be like the greatest job right there. **Thomas** (00:37:13:01 - 00:37:23:02): Yeah. And it's literally a walk into Waikiki from there. Like, that's not even a sacrifice, right? Yeah. They probably don't have a traditional lighthouse keeper there. Maybe they do. Maybe that's the greatest job in the world. **Chip** (00:37:23:02 - 00:37:41:00): I think we need to get it. I think we need to find it out. Yeah. That's it. There's a great Instagram account that some guy's a lighthouse keeper. I forget where he's from, if it's from Europe. Or maybe it's just like North America, maybe like Canada somewhere. And he walks out at the top of his lighthouse to give. And there's usually like a title card of like, now I'm going to explain, like this phenomenon. And he just starts talking to the camera, but the wind is so loud that you can never hear a he gives a whole thing and you never hear a single word he says. And it's one of my favorites, one of the most hilarious things. **Thomas** (00:37:57:18 - 00:38:00:09): Does he know you can't? Yeah, okay. **Chip** (00:38:00:10 - 00:38:11:04): He says he's in it. And it's it's so funny because he's like, now I'm going to tell you about the history of this. And he walks out and it's just. It's it's incredible. **Thomas** (00:38:11:05 - 00:38:23:17): That's a funny vet. I think there also could be a fun like Instagram account about like somebody who is just like advertising it as an Instagram account of buildings that look like wieners. **Chip** (00:38:23:18 - 00:38:25:00): Okay, wiener buildings. **Thomas** (00:38:25:00 - 00:38:28:02): And it's just lighthouses. It's just different lighthouses. Yeah. **Chip** (00:38:28:03 - 00:38:37:12): Like you never mentioned. You never mentioned the fact that there are lighthouses, that they're all on the shore. You just like all of these houses look like wieners, wiener homes. **Thomas** (00:38:37:12 - 00:38:39:05): I yes, we inner homes. **Chip** (00:38:39:07 - 00:38:42:04): And nobody, nobody ever mentions it. It's a lighthouse. **Thomas** (00:38:42:05 - 00:38:45:07): Shiny wiener homes. Yeah. **Chip** (00:38:45:09 - 00:38:46:18): Look at that blinking wiener. **Thomas** (00:38:46:19 - 00:38:54:13): All right, buddy, we're moving on. Getting into a little pop culture here, buddy. Yeah. Hootie in the Blowfish are back, baby. **Chip** (00:38:54:14 - 00:38:55:12): Speed of poké. **Thomas** (00:38:55:13 - 00:39:03:12): Yeah, a little blowfish poké. And they're playing a country festival, and they've gone hip hop. Chip. **Chip** (00:39:03:14 - 00:39:04:03): Yes. **Thomas** (00:39:04:03 - 00:39:24:15): Rolling stones reported that Hootie and the Blowfish made their Stagecoach debut this week in Indio, California, and it got weird, fast hooting the famous 90s band. Yep. A number of hits, baby. And then they just kind of disappeared because the lead singer got into, like, a country frame of mind. **Chip** (00:39:24:16 - 00:39:26:17): Darius Rucker just decides he's going solo. **Thomas** (00:39:26:18 - 00:39:47:05): Going country. The band performed a full set of 90s classics, including Hannah Jane, Let Her Cry, Let Her Cry, Hold My Hand and Time. Basically every song that made me have feelings in my Toyota Camry in the 1990s. **Chip** (00:39:47:06 - 00:39:50:14): That's it, that's it baby. That's my freshman year of college right there. **Thomas** (00:39:50:15 - 00:39:59:00): Yeah. Frontman Darius Rucker has been living a double life for years as Hootie or a Blowfish. I don't really know what Darius. **Chip** (00:39:59:00 - 00:40:05:03): He was not Hootie. He. I remember he used to get not annoyed, but they always thought he was Hootie and then they were the Blowfish. **Thomas** (00:40:05:04 - 00:40:06:01): It makes sense. **Chip** (00:40:06:01 - 00:40:24:10): I know the history. Apparently there was a guy at their college. I think that they called Hootie because he had these like big eyes or something like that. Speaking of vowels, that your daughter gets pet. Yeah. And then there was this other guy they called the blowfish for whatever reason, probably for the way he looked. And apparently they walked into a party together and somebody like, hey, there's Hootie and the Blowfish. And then they took that name and that's that's where it came about. **Thomas** (00:40:27:14 - 00:40:29:13): That's all time, man. That's great. **Chip** (00:40:29:14 - 00:40:41:08): Could you imagine being Hootie or the Blowfish and having to hear that for decades after that? That that nickname, that pejorative nickname that your peers in college gave to you? **Thomas** (00:40:41:10 - 00:40:59:16): It's not good. There's some bad nicknames. If you get stuck with a bad nickname like I. I guess you have to, like play it off as you don't care, but like it's devastating. Lifelong if you get a bad nickname. Yeah, like, you know, Merv the Perv, that would be pretty bad one. Sure. **Chip** (00:40:59:18 - 00:41:20:01): Yeah. It's I and then I think it just. Do you ever think like it? Just people forget the origin then sometimes. I mean, obviously Merv the Perv that it's it's in there, but. Yeah. Yeah, I had some friends who like it just became who they were. And I just forgot why they even recalled that. But then you think about like, oh, that's because they did. That's because they defecated here freshman year of college at three in. **Thomas** (00:41:23:09 - 00:41:28:12): The morning. Yeah. It's nicknames can be a dangerous mistress, dude. **Chip** (00:41:28:13 - 00:41:29:05): Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (00:41:29:06 - 00:41:33:22): There's an episode of Seinfeld where George, for some reason, really wants to be called T-Bone. **Chip** (00:41:33:23 - 00:41:34:16): Yes. **Thomas** (00:41:34:21 - 00:41:46:13): So he sets up a bunch of scenarios where, like, he he wants people to recognize that he's ordered a t bone steak and call him T-Bone, like he's actively chasing after that name. **Chip** (00:41:46:13 - 00:41:47:10): It's so sweaty. **Thomas** (00:41:47:11 - 00:42:02:10): It's the other side. Most of the time you just get given a nickname and it's either good or bad. And you, you have to kind of take it. You can't really leave it if other people won't let it die. But the idea that you're chasing after a specific name. **Chip** (00:42:02:11 - 00:42:04:07): Yeah, you can't manufacture your own. **Thomas** (00:42:04:07 - 00:42:05:23): But I do like to be called T-Bone. **Chip** (00:42:06:00 - 00:42:14:04): I mean, I call you T-Bone sometimes I like to be called, even though I'm not a dad. I like to be called daddy sometimes. Or like, yeah, Diddy or like P Diddy or. **Thomas** (00:42:14:04 - 00:42:14:16): Like. **Chip** (00:42:14:18 - 00:42:27:17): Yeah, Puff Daddy. I like to be called like those nicknames sometimes. And I give them to myself, you know, just like and again, you can see that nothing ever goes wrong with the psyche of a person who gives themselves multiple nicknames. **Thomas** (00:42:27:19 - 00:42:54:17): Absolutely did. So like Coachella is kind of, you know, a sister festival to Stagecoach, just like the the pop culture one and then the country culture one, I guess. Sure. Stagecoach is like all country music, and they're always trying to manufacture these moments, these viral moments. So Hootie and the Blowfish is back. But that's not enough. They got to do something weird. So they have Hootie and the Blowfish bring out Public Enemy to have a mashup of public. And so Chuck D and Flavor Flav. **Chip** (00:43:07:18 - 00:43:10:20): Flavor, one of my favorite country artists of all time. **Thomas** (00:43:10:21 - 00:43:16:06): Absolutely. Dude, you can't think about a tumbleweed without thinking about Flavor Flav. **Chip** (00:43:16:07 - 00:43:16:18): Nope. **Thomas** (00:43:16:18 - 00:43:25:23): No chess. You know, grill in, clock on, just out there bouncing around. So yeah, it's like all these people are watching Hootie, and then they're. **Chip** (00:43:25:23 - 00:43:30:00): Like, he just. He just has a weathervane around his neck. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:43:30:02 - 00:43:46:07): Yeah, I think that's a more appropriate look for this specific festival. And then you just have all these, like, guys wearing, like, cowboy hats and boots and gals and they're Daisy dukes and like, these are people that have never thought about fighting the power a day in their life. **Chip** (00:43:46:07 - 00:43:46:21): Never. **Thomas** (00:43:46:22 - 00:43:48:08): And they're out there. **Chip** (00:43:48:09 - 00:43:51:06): They're not ready to do the right thing. **Thomas** (00:43:51:08 - 00:44:05:07): No. Just like, I guess, like people say they liked it, but I just can't think of how awkward. It's like a rock band at Coachella who's like, I guess kind of or not Coachella at stage. **Chip** (00:44:05:08 - 00:44:05:21): Stagecoach. **Thomas** (00:44:05:22 - 00:44:08:22): Who I guess makes sense because Darius Rucker is a country star now. **Chip** (00:44:09:03 - 00:44:18:07): And and they were they were very sort of country adjacent, you know, very like Americana kind of music. Yeah. Just like straight. Straight of a rock. Nothing crazy. **Thomas** (00:44:18:08 - 00:44:27:20): Yeah, I guess, but like, I just thought of it, like, as emotional rock music growing up, it was like I would I would put it closer to Alanis Morissette than a country band. **Chip** (00:44:27:22 - 00:44:28:19): Catchy. Yes. **Thomas** (00:44:28:19 - 00:44:39:02): Yeah, yeah. So you got them and then you mix it with Public Enemy and you say, deal with this country music festival. **Chip** (00:44:39:03 - 00:45:00:03): I kind of love it. I it's just sort of like it's like. So two of the best. I mean, one of the best hip hop groups of all time. So you're seeing that you're being surprised by that. And hey, maybe I don't want to cast aspersions on all the attendees of Stagecoach, but I'm assuming I can make some assumptions about what their views on the world are. Maybe it maybe it broaden their view a little bit. Do you know what I mean? Like, maybe it was just like, oh, that was really cool. I saw that I'm gonna start listening to some more hip hop or just I, I get to tell my friends at home that I saw Chuck D, and now I'm kind of cool. So maybe I can expand my horizons, broaden my horizons a. **Thomas** (00:45:21:00 - 00:45:30:18): Little bit. I'm sure there was some of that going on for sure. I just thought it was an odd mix. Very. And and I also am fired up about Hootie. Dude, I love all those tunes. **Chip** (00:45:30:22 - 00:45:32:13): Oh good time, come on. **Thomas** (00:45:32:13 - 00:45:35:13): Great tunes. But we're heading back to the tropics, buddy. **Chip** (00:45:35:14 - 00:45:35:20): Yeah, we. **Thomas** (00:45:35:20 - 00:45:47:04): Are Saint Kitts, Caribbean Island to the stars has deliberately sunk an aircraft in the Caribbean Sea. **Chip** (00:45:47:05 - 00:45:51:08): Who are they? The CIA. There, I said it, I said it. **Thomas** (00:45:51:10 - 00:46:03:00): And I think it's kind of cool. It's like twofold. They're dropping this airplane into the sea, and it's going to help bring some coral. Yep. Back. **Chip** (00:46:03:01 - 00:46:05:07): It's like a 737 reef. Yes. **Thomas** (00:46:05:07 - 00:46:14:06): Yeah, exactly. And like it's gonna fish are going to be able to thrive around it. It's going to be like really good for the environment. But it's also going to be an interesting thing to dive around. **Chip** (00:46:14:10 - 00:46:23:09): Oh absolutely. Could you imagine being able to go in there and just float around, maybe seeing an in-flight movie down there just as you're scuba diving through, you know, grabbing some peanuts? **Thomas** (00:46:23:12 - 00:46:31:06): You will have to continue just to imagine it, because with your collapsed lung history, there's no scuba for you and you not for scuba. **Chip** (00:46:31:07 - 00:46:43:23): Yeah, I do understand that they did have to remove all the seats before they submerged it because, as you know, those seat cushions do become floatation devices. Yeah. Just would have popped that whole plane right up. **Thomas** (00:46:44:00 - 00:46:48:22): That was the first year of this process. Was them trying to figure out like, why is this thing still floating? **Chip** (00:46:48:22 - 00:46:50:05): Why is it still popping up? **Thomas** (00:46:50:05 - 00:46:53:22): And it was just like those flotation devices or no joke. No. **Chip** (00:46:54:00 - 00:47:23:06): I think it's a great idea. I think it's wonderful. It's good for, I would assume, and hope, you know, good for the environment. They're just building up these reefs. It makes it interesting. It's like it's not just going to waste this metal and other stuff like they're they're utilizing it for good. They're turning around. The only, the only bad thing I saw was I did see the story that when unfortunately, when vacationing there solely, Sullenberger had a complete nervous breakdown. Other than that, two thumbs up. **Thomas** (00:47:25:05 - 00:47:44:13): If your name ain't Saleh and you don't have that very specific past, this might be a place for you to go to. But yeah, no, it's awesome. It's awesome. And like, unlike a regular airplane crash, they got to suck all the jet fuel out first, right? Like it's down there. I'm sure they treated some things with like anti rust. It's it's going to be fun and it's just going to be like you know a little fish tank under the water. You know you got your a little plane down there and people are checking it out. **Chip** (00:47:55:04 - 00:48:00:07): Planes trains some you know like some cars maybe like an old tractor trailer. **Thomas** (00:48:00:09 - 00:48:01:00): Yeah. **Chip** (00:48:01:03 - 00:48:01:22): Throw it all down there. **Thomas** (00:48:01:22 - 00:48:07:02): Come on. In 1986 to hit a Camry playing a little Hootie down there, you know? Yeah. **Chip** (00:48:07:03 - 00:48:12:11): Just one of those tape. One of those tape decks that the face comes out so thieves can't take it. **Thomas** (00:48:12:12 - 00:48:13:00): Heck, yeah. **Chip** (00:48:13:00 - 00:48:15:07): I got something for everybody. For those little fishies down there. **Thomas** (00:48:15:07 - 00:48:25:00): Something for everybody. All right, man, one more story. A guy who runs a beach resort in Aruba just got knighted by an actual king. **Chip** (00:48:25:01 - 00:48:36:02): For running a resort. I, I love this this is up our alley. I think it's yet another thing to aspire to. I want to I want to operate a I want to operate a lighthouse someday. **Thomas** (00:48:36:05 - 00:48:36:22): Yeah. **Chip** (00:48:37:03 - 00:48:51:23): I want to go to that concert under the tree. I want to check out that underwater airplane. And I want to do such a good job. You and I are running our own resort that we literally get knighted. **Thomas** (00:48:52:00 - 00:49:00:14): Yeah, so he got knighted. It was largely for his, what shall we call it, environmental conservation efforts. **Chip** (00:49:00:15 - 00:49:15:10): That's a that's a good reason to get knighted. Yeah. Just for tickling those ivories, sir Elton John, I mean, the guy the guy is a musical legend. But, yeah, I mean, he's literally tickling ivories. Not the most environmentally sound practice. **Thomas** (00:49:15:11 - 00:49:20:08): Especially if it's real ivory. You know what I mean? That is very unsustainable. **Chip** (00:49:20:09 - 00:49:21:03): Tusk. Tusk. **Thomas** (00:49:21:04 - 00:49:57:10): Ewald Bemis, founder of Busty and Tara Beach Resort in Aruba, which is consistently one of the most acclaimed boutique properties in the Caribbean, has been awarded the order of the Orange-Nassau by Dutch King Willem-Alexander. So like this is real deal. Knighthood. This man opened a resort. It's decided, like I want to give a little something back. Or at least not like, you know, lessen the impact of the tourism that I'm bringing to this island. And so he he just did the thing he loved that he wanted to do, and he did it so right that a Dutch king was like, you're going to be a nightmare, my man. **Chip** (00:50:08:06 - 00:50:38:12): I think that's one thing that's wrong with America right now. We don't have kings. We can't get knighted no matter how good of a job you and I do. Somewhere here in our home country of the United States, nobody is going to put a sword to our shoulder and dub us. I feel like I would be much more inspired and enthusiastic and energetic to, like, accomplish my goals if I knew knighthood was on the other side of it. **Thomas** (00:50:38:13 - 00:50:39:17): We have to understand. **Chip** (00:50:39:20 - 00:50:48:12): Literally the best we can do is if we do a really good job this year. Yeah, we'll like go to a UFC fight with cash. Patel. Like that's. **Thomas** (00:50:48:12 - 00:50:49:02): The top. **Chip** (00:50:49:07 - 00:50:52:01): That's the top. Apparently that's the ceiling. **Thomas** (00:50:52:01 - 00:50:58:15): I would like to go to UFC fight. Like we can leave Cash Patel out of it. Dude, that guy seems like a weird hang, man. **Chip** (00:50:58:16 - 00:50:59:04): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:50:59:04 - 00:51:18:16): Yeah, but I think you're right. You've you've you've targeted something human here, Chip. Something real. Something that's inside all of us. We want to be knighted. Yeah, so I don't and we don't have a pathway here. So I think that's something the sunburnt podcast can bring to the burnt ones. We can knight them burnt ones. **Chip** (00:51:18:21 - 00:51:24:21): Oh, okay, so we're on the other side of it. Yeah. We're the knight errs, not the knight ease. **Thomas** (00:51:24:21 - 00:51:28:22): We're providing a service. We weren't. We didn't choose this. We were chosen. **Chip** (00:51:28:22 - 00:51:31:07): We pulled that sort out of that coconut. **Thomas** (00:51:31:09 - 00:51:41:13): Yeah, exactly. We. We pulled the sword out of the coconut, and, you know, we can give them a little, a little tap and then slather. **Chip** (00:51:41:15 - 00:51:43:19): Them with the slather. Tap tap slather. **Thomas** (00:51:43:20 - 00:51:53:01): Tap tap slather. Yep. We dug you a burnt one. And then they anoint themselves. I think this is something that we can start doing at the live events. Chip. **Chip** (00:51:53:02 - 00:51:59:02): That's the difference between you and I. Thomas. I come with problems. You come with solutions. **Thomas** (00:51:59:03 - 00:52:10:01): Dude, you can't have a solution without a problem. It's it's once again, it's. You're the meat and I'm the cheese on the Shakira board of life. Yeah. I mean, we're really putting it all together Tonight Show. **Chip** (00:52:10:04 - 00:52:13:15): You are the resort. I am the underwater defunct airplane. **Thomas** (00:52:13:16 - 00:52:15:14): Yes. I love it, too. **Chip** (00:52:15:14 - 00:52:20:11): You are 30,000 white people in cowboy hats. I am Chuck D. **Thomas** (00:52:20:12 - 00:52:23:07): That's it for for the algo that's been for the algo. **Chip** (00:52:23:07 - 00:52:26:07): Hopefully we get dubbed by those robot overlords. **Thomas** (00:52:26:08 - 00:52:28:22): Yeah. Thank you. Robots. We love you. Robots. **Chip** (00:52:28:23 - 00:52:29:19): You robot. **Thomas** (00:52:30:00 - 00:52:51:04): Please share it with all the burnt ones out there. We we want you to be part of the crew. And that reminds me, if you haven't subscribed to the sunburnt podcast, numbers or numbers and facts are facts. If you haven't subscribed, you're probably never going to see us again. So if you want more for the algos, if you want more tropical comedy news. **Chip** (00:52:51:04 - 00:52:56:14): If you want more stories about airplanes that have gone into the ocean, but in a nice way. **Thomas** (00:52:56:15 - 00:53:08:00): Then and then subscribe, baby, we'd love to have you join the party. Yeah, Chip, it's time for Buffett facts, baby. **Chip** (00:53:08:02 - 00:53:12:12): I got a great Buffett fact this week. I did big research. **Thomas** (00:53:12:13 - 00:53:13:11): Tell me about it, man. **Chip** (00:53:13:12 - 00:53:30:21): Really deep dive here. Okay, Jimmy Buffett did not own a television because he preferred the simple things in life. Also, he needed a place to plug in his third daiquiri machine. **Thomas** (00:53:30:23 - 00:53:33:06): Yeah, he had priorities. **Chip** (00:53:33:06 - 00:53:36:21): There's not that many outlets around the, the beach house. **Thomas** (00:53:36:23 - 00:53:37:11): No, no. **Chip** (00:53:37:11 - 00:53:42:14): No, no. Are you gonna have a television or are you gonna have a third daiquiri machine? I'm gonna have a third daiquiri machine. **Thomas** (00:53:42:14 - 00:53:47:10): That's hilarious. A third daiquiri machine. I did a little digging myself this week. **Chip** (00:53:47:10 - 00:53:48:17): Chip, you got a buff effect. **Thomas** (00:53:48:18 - 00:54:02:11): Jimmy Buffett. Scholars often debate if he actually celebrated Cinco de Mayo. And the truth is, he did 365 days a year. **Chip** (00:54:02:13 - 00:54:05:16): All year round. It's the gift that keeps on giving. **Thomas** (00:54:05:18 - 00:54:07:02): A full time celebrate. **Chip** (00:54:07:07 - 00:54:09:14): Bring that spirit of Christmas. But really, Cinco. **Thomas** (00:54:09:14 - 00:54:19:07): De Mayo, it's all Cinco de Mayo, baby. All right, Chip, we've we've moved on past Buffett facts. The man, the legend. One of the all time burnt ones. **Chip** (00:54:19:08 - 00:54:19:18): Yes. **Thomas** (00:54:19:18 - 00:54:27:19): Somebody we like to model our train of thought after. And our lives living a life he did not need a vacation from. **Chip** (00:54:27:20 - 00:54:28:06): Yes. **Thomas** (00:54:28:07 - 00:54:39:06): Now things start to splash. Things start to splash. I can hear the tropical waters starting to rage. It's time for the sunburnt podcast. Fish of the week. **Chip** (00:54:39:07 - 00:54:41:07): Fish of the week. **Thomas** (00:54:41:08 - 00:54:45:01): Our hero of the deep chip. Who do we got this week? **Chip** (00:54:45:01 - 00:54:52:16): We got a great one, Thomas. This one is sleek, beautiful and deadly. **Thomas** (00:54:52:17 - 00:54:55:04): Oh, fatal. **Chip** (00:54:55:06 - 00:55:25:13): Almost exactly. This is a kills the Achilles tang aka the Achilles surgeonfish. Wow. You know Tang the delicious breakfast drink or surgeon surgeons. You know, somebody who cuts you open and saves your life. Both great things. So this is Achilles, the Achilles tang or the Achilles surgeonfish? Let's just say this surgeon Thomas, doesn't take your health insurance, but he'll cut you open anyway. All right. Now, Achilles looks beautiful. I mean, check him out here, okay? He's a flat ten inch oval. He's got a sleek body, black with a bright orange teardrop near his tail. He looks like he belongs to your parents basement because he's shaped like a ping pong paddle and painted like a lava lamp. But despite his docile, trippy beauty, Achilles is a heel. Okay, he is an agent of chaos. This is my favorite thing about him. Achilles and the other surgeonfish aka Achilles tanks. They live in shallow, high energy surge zones in like tropical reefs. So like where the ocean is really pumping up, kicking up that foam. **Thomas** (00:56:10:11 - 00:56:11:13): They like the chaos. **Chip** (00:56:11:13 - 00:56:37:02): It's nature's mosh pit is what it is. And he just loves it there. He's just chilling out in this. Just crazy anarchy. Okay. Yeah. He's got a sweet little mouth down at the bottom of his body. Little pouty lips there, but with razor sharp teeth in there that he uses to just chomp along the reefs 24 over seven looking for algae, looking for other little signs of life. I don't know now, ladies. Twizzlers. Whatever he can find. Just down there. Just nipple. Enough. You put him down in one of those airplanes, he's going to nibble right through it, baby. That's what he's gonna do. Okay. **Thomas** (00:56:48:02 - 00:56:48:12): I love. **Chip** (00:56:48:12 - 00:56:56:14): It, but it's not his mouth and his sharp teeth you have to worry about. It's right behind that orange teardrop in the rear. **Thomas** (00:56:56:16 - 00:56:57:07): Yeah. **Chip** (00:56:57:09 - 00:57:03:00): Achilles has the scariest weapon in the seven seas. Thomas, do you know what it is? **Thomas** (00:57:03:00 - 00:57:04:10): I have no idea. **Chip** (00:57:04:12 - 00:57:05:21): But knives. **Thomas** (00:57:05:21 - 00:57:07:06): But knives. **Chip** (00:57:07:06 - 00:57:26:23): He's got but knives. He's got these little tiny spines that pop out of his tail. Okay. All right, so they're they're tucked in, but they pop out like little switchblades. And again, like that surgeon, he will cut you open. Oh my god. **Thomas** (00:57:27:01 - 00:57:28:19): Oh my gosh. But knives. **Chip** (00:57:28:20 - 00:57:33:17): Forget poke. He will slice and cube you up real good okay. **Thomas** (00:57:33:17 - 00:57:34:17): Oh my gosh. **Chip** (00:57:34:18 - 00:58:06:06): But don't worry Thomas, don't worry. You, my friend, are in the clear. Okay, okay. Achilles only attacks other surgeonfish. Other Achilles tanks. He doesn't like competition. He only attacks his own. Okay. He's normally very chill in his little marine mosh pit there. Yeah, but if you're wearing black and orange. So if you're an Orioles fan or if you are David S pumpkins, he is coming for you and. **Thomas** (00:58:06:06 - 00:58:06:20): He will. **Chip** (00:58:06:22 - 00:58:16:21): Cut you open. And that is our boy Achilles, the Achilles Tang, aka the Achilles surgeonfish. **Thomas** (00:58:17:02 - 00:58:19:19): Oh, Kelly's. Whoa! **Chip** (00:58:19:21 - 00:58:21:18): Our fish of the week. **Thomas** (00:58:21:20 - 00:58:28:18): What a what a menace, dude. Achilles is a is a bad over it. **Chip** (00:58:28:20 - 00:58:30:21): Exactly. Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (00:58:30:21 - 00:58:34:22): But what a look or two. What a sleek fish. **Chip** (00:58:35:00 - 00:58:37:12): Yeah. Fight! The power of that reef is what I got to say. **Thomas** (00:58:37:13 - 00:58:49:18): Dude, what a wild fish, buddy. Hat's off. Achilles. Congratulations on being sunburned. Podcast fish a little this week. All right, so now it's time to crack open the good book. Chip. **Chip** (00:58:49:19 - 00:58:54:11): I'm so ready. Thomas lay, lay on us, Thomas. Just lay on us. **Thomas** (00:58:54:11 - 00:58:56:00): I will lay upon you. **Chip** (00:58:56:01 - 00:58:56:20): Lay upon. **Thomas** (00:58:56:20 - 00:59:05:17): Us a world record. I got a question for you, Chip. What's green, squishy and worth its weight in gold? To the brunch crowd. **Chip** (00:59:05:19 - 00:59:07:07): I don't think it's Kermit the Frog. **Thomas** (00:59:07:07 - 00:59:22:08): It's not chip. My records about a dip, and it's gonna blow your freaking mind. I'm taking you to see Taro, Mexico, the avocado capital of the world, where they set the record for the largest guacamole in history. **Chip** (00:59:22:13 - 00:59:23:13): Whoa. **Thomas** (00:59:23:15 - 00:59:32:01): Chepe, this is serious. Dude, I need you to guess how many pounds of guacamole are we talking about here, buddy? What do you think? **Chip** (00:59:32:04 - 00:59:34:13): Are we talking, like, 100 pounds chip? **Thomas** (00:59:34:13 - 00:59:51:00): That's so cute. That is so cute. We are talking about 14,999 or 91 pounds of guacamole. For context, that's roughly the weight of five full grown hippopotamuses. **Chip** (00:59:51:02 - 00:59:53:04): Five full grown. **Thomas** (00:59:53:04 - 00:59:54:21): Full grown hippogriff. **Chip** (00:59:54:23 - 00:59:55:11): Wow. **Thomas** (00:59:55:17 - 01:00:28:20): Dude, it's an incredible amount of guacamole on April 10th, 2026. So this just happened. Yeah, the 13th annual Avocado Festival happened in this region that produces approximately 40% of Mexico's entire avocado supply. Wow. 800 plus volunteers came together to set the Guinness World Record for the largest guacamole ever made with a Guinness. Adjuncts cater on site to make it all official, this is the real deal. Real Guinness record. This wasn't improvised. It's the 13th annual attempt to go bigger and Garcia meaning that this town has been building towards seven tons of guac for over a decade. **Chip** (01:00:44:20 - 01:00:45:09): Wow. **Thomas** (01:00:45:11 - 01:00:53:17): So just like little Chip Chantry, when he hit his teens, they started to go overboard with the snacks. **Chip** (01:00:53:20 - 01:00:54:17): He really did. **Thomas** (01:00:54:18 - 01:00:55:10): Yeah. **Chip** (01:00:55:12 - 01:00:56:14): Yeah they did. **Thomas** (01:00:56:16 - 01:01:02:19): Guinness has specific rules about temperature consistency and added for every food record. **Chip** (01:01:02:20 - 01:01:07:06): Oh, that makes sense. So you can't just make like a pizza that's not cooked or whatever. **Thomas** (01:01:07:06 - 01:01:16:23): Every pound they had to go pound by pound and make sure that almost all seven tons of guacamole had to be technically eatable. **Chip** (01:01:17:00 - 01:01:18:11): That's a lot of avocados right there. **Thomas** (01:01:18:11 - 01:01:27:13): It's so many avocados. And famously, what makes this so like decadent of a record is you know how fast guacamole goes bad. **Chip** (01:01:27:13 - 01:01:29:03): Real quick. It turns doesn't. **Thomas** (01:01:29:04 - 01:01:32:08): Like you're not putting this in the fridge and eating it for weeks. **Chip** (01:01:32:09 - 01:01:32:22): No. **Thomas** (01:01:33:03 - 01:01:35:09): It's like you got half an hour tops. **Chip** (01:01:35:10 - 01:01:36:22): Like, let's do this Guinness. **Thomas** (01:01:36:23 - 01:02:01:06): You got to do it. So it's just like so much excess. But yeah dude, 13 years they've had this goal to get up to this amount of guacamole. They did it. It's all edible. And it took 800 plus people to make it all come together. Plus just an s just a buttload of of avocados. Can you imagine Achilles out there with his little but knives helping out? **Chip** (01:02:01:07 - 01:02:02:17): Just slicing and dicing. **Thomas** (01:02:02:17 - 01:02:04:02): That would be unbelievable. **Chip** (01:02:04:03 - 01:02:04:19): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:02:04:21 - 01:02:06:21): Hats off to you, tan Sitara. **Chip** (01:02:07:02 - 01:02:07:22): Well done guys. **Thomas** (01:02:07:22 - 01:02:20:00): What a delicious record to ring in Cinco de Mayo with me. Been my beard chip. What do you got, buddy? What do you. What? What did the good book point you to this week? **Chip** (01:02:20:01 - 01:02:32:01): We're going to go with a little different angle than love all the gas. This one's a little less sticky. We're heading up to Livermore, California. If you are familiar. **Thomas** (01:02:32:03 - 01:02:36:07): I'm a little liver. Less familiar with that than some other locations in California. **Chip** (01:02:36:08 - 01:02:41:23): But it's I believe it's liberal. I believe it's an outside of, like, San Jose. San Francisco. **Thomas** (01:02:42:00 - 01:02:43:01): Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. **Chip** (01:02:43:01 - 01:02:53:00): That outside the Bay area. The area, their lives, a man named Morton Sorensen. Okay. He grew up in Denmark, but he lives in lives in California now. **Thomas** (01:02:53:01 - 01:02:53:23): Wow. **Chip** (01:02:54:01 - 01:03:08:16): But he is a traveler of work, for work. He travels for decades. He's traveled. And he has now the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest collection of hotel key cards. **Thomas** (01:03:08:17 - 01:03:13:10): Wow. Oh, so he's a consummate hotel stair. **Chip** (01:03:13:10 - 01:03:21:06): So, you know, when you do the little express checkout, when you leave the hotel and you just drop it? He never drops them off. He keeps those babies. **Thomas** (01:03:21:07 - 01:03:24:16): Okay, so he's been just collecting these his whole life, I assume? **Chip** (01:03:24:17 - 01:03:39:05): Yes, since he said about 30 years. So I think he was an adult, but it was when he really started traveling. Yeah. And of course, back then to probably when he was a kid, there weren't key cards. You actually had that hotel key, remember? Yeah. How crazy that was, right? **Thomas** (01:03:39:07 - 01:03:41:07): Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Get the key to the room. **Chip** (01:03:41:10 - 01:03:59:11): Yeah. So in I believe was the 90s. He started as he started to traveling, he started collecting his hotel room keys. And as of June 2023, he owns 1136 separate hotel room keys. **Thomas** (01:03:59:12 - 01:04:03:08): And he used them all. He's not like acquiring these from other people. Or is. **Chip** (01:04:03:09 - 01:04:07:19): He has used a lot of them. His wallet must be huge. **Thomas** (01:04:07:20 - 01:04:09:13): Yeah, he's got a. **Chip** (01:04:09:15 - 01:04:15:18): Picky baby. After a while, some of his friends and family, they started to donate. When they would go on vacations. **Thomas** (01:04:15:18 - 01:04:16:13): They were. **Chip** (01:04:16:14 - 01:04:31:14): Then give him his. But a lot of these were on his own. He has collected, like I said, for about 30 years. He's also become an expert in the history and evolution of the hotel keycard. I thought this was pretty interesting. **Thomas** (01:04:31:15 - 01:04:32:05): That makes sense. **Chip** (01:04:32:06 - 01:04:39:18): He was talking about their three eras of the hotel keycard. Tom, I bet you couldn't list the three eras. **Thomas** (01:04:39:19 - 01:04:43:11): I mean, this is a Taylor Swift type question. **Chip** (01:04:43:16 - 01:04:45:21): I'm going on the heiress tour right now. **Thomas** (01:04:46:00 - 01:04:47:05): Yeah, so tell me about it. **Chip** (01:04:47:05 - 01:05:03:18): After the key was phased out, you know, so you have the key. The first types were hole punches. So there are a whole bunch. You would stick it in and there would be like a hole punch. Like you're, you know, clocking in for the day. Yeah. Those were not really too efficient to manufacture. It was the whole thing. So they moved on after a while to the good old, probably my least favorite ones, the old magnet stripes. You know, just like a credit card, just like a credit card. You swipe it through and half the time it wouldn't work because it would get deactivated in your wallet because it was next to your discover card. Thomas, you know, your dick sporting good. Whatever. **Thomas** (01:05:22:22 - 01:05:24:06): Yeah. **Chip** (01:05:24:08 - 01:05:30:12): So now we are in the NFC card era. The old tappy tap. **Thomas** (01:05:30:12 - 01:05:31:16): I love a nice tap. **Chip** (01:05:31:16 - 01:05:54:06): We just tap. And I think I told you this, I think we said it on the podcast back in the fall. I was up in Maine, not too far away from some lighthouses at the Cliff House resort doing some shows, and I didn't have a key card. They just gave me a bracelet, a nice little rope bracelet with a little cork thing that looked like a watch head, but then you just swipe that on there and tapped it and there you go. **Thomas** (01:05:54:09 - 01:05:56:02): Give a little tap, tap, tap around. **Chip** (01:05:56:04 - 01:06:14:15): So he has 1136 hotel keys. Sorensen was in Lake Tahoe, vacationing in June of 2023 when they contacted him that he was the record holder. Guinness called his hotel to tell him the good news, but ironically, he was locked out of his room. **Thomas** (01:06:14:16 - 01:06:15:11): Couldn't answer. **Chip** (01:06:15:11 - 01:06:27:23): And I don't know if you know Thomas, the most difficult part of having the world's largest hotel card collection. Do you know what it is? **Thomas** (01:06:28:01 - 01:06:30:17): I mean, I have no clue. **Chip** (01:06:30:17 - 01:06:34:23): It's convincing your wife that you're not having numerous affairs. **Thomas** (01:06:35:02 - 01:06:36:06): Oh, yeah. **Chip** (01:06:36:06 - 01:06:42:01): That's. You gotta. You know, you got to be like, hey, these are all just mine. I'm just. I'm just a connoisseur. Debbie. **Thomas** (01:06:42:02 - 01:06:43:04): Yeah, a little Debbie. **Chip** (01:06:43:04 - 01:06:56:20): Congrats to Morten Sorensen, a man with a cool hobby who loves to travel and who should be a prime suspect if there are ever a rash of hotel robberies. We salute you, Morten Sorensen. **Thomas** (01:06:56:22 - 01:07:12:06): You've got that access, baby. You've got that access. Well, everybody, that's it for the Sun Burnt podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. Thanks so much for hanging out with us. And till next time, stay burnt. Front desk. **Chip** (01:07:12:07 - 01:07:18:03): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. I'm going to need two more ironing boards and eight more towels sent up to the room. **Thomas** (01:07:18:03 - 01:07:23:19): Mr. Chantry, you have to stop building tower forts in your room. It's against the fire counts. **Chip** (01:07:23:20 - 01:07:28:07): I'm not building a tall fort. I'm building an empire. **Thomas** (01:07:28:09 - 01:07:29:23): Hell, Mr. Chantry.