$200K Treehouse Cruise, 5,000-Lb Walrus Attack & Volcano Rum Bar 🌋🦭 | Sunburnt Podcast Ep. 57

**Chip** (00:00:00:00 - 00:00:03:01): I've heard of birthright citizenship, this girth right citizenship. **Thomas** (00:00:03:01 - 00:00:08:06): The Royal Caribbean built a tree house on a cruise ship and it cost more than your house. **Chip** (00:00:08:09 - 00:00:10:19): Let's take the walrus out of this whole equation for a second. **Thomas** (00:00:10:21 - 00:00:15:08): There is a beach bar serving rum at the foot of an active volcano. **Chip** (00:00:15:14 - 00:00:17:04): Stewardess, I need a muddler. **Thomas** (00:00:17:09 - 00:00:19:00): That's how you get to be the top dog. **Chip** (00:00:19:01 - 00:00:20:05): Woof, woof, baby. **Thomas** (00:00:20:07 - 00:00:24:16): Before, if you guys haven't been to a tropical island or a tropical location with Chip chantry, you. **Chip** (00:00:24:16 - 00:00:29:01): Got to do it. 3846. Nine two. And that is Paul Rudd, social security number. **Thomas** (00:00:37:23 - 00:01:00:02): All right, Chip. Well, we're recording, man. Let's just get into it. Oh, okay. What I burnt ones. This is the sunburn podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. To my right, as always. The number one comedian in my heart. Philadelphia's own chip chantry. You know, I'm from Netflix or I'm a special move closer. Chipper. Glad to be doing it with you today, buddy. **Chip** (00:01:00:04 - 00:01:18:10): Right back at you, too. This gentleman is the actor you're going to. That's the man to my left. Emmy Award winning producer and writer. He puts the ham in, sir. You're not allowed to eat a full Easter ham on the treadmill. We're going to have to ask you to leave. Mr. Thomas O'Brien. **Thomas** (00:01:18:12 - 00:01:20:09): Calories in, calories out, baby. **Chip** (00:01:20:09 - 00:01:24:20): That's what they say. It's the flow of the world. Hakuna matata. The circle of life. **Thomas** (00:01:24:21 - 00:01:30:09): He has risen, was also, the level of my cholesterol. **Chip** (00:01:30:10 - 00:01:34:06): Yeah, he being the cholesterol. 238, I believe, is this number. **Thomas** (00:01:34:10 - 00:01:36:02): It's a it's a high count, buddy. **Chip** (00:01:36:02 - 00:01:38:03): It's a high count for a high holiday. Oh. **Thomas** (00:01:38:05 - 00:01:46:11): It sure is, dude. I hope everybody's, Easter weekend, Passover celebrations, whatever you into. Hope went great, baby. **Chip** (00:01:46:11 - 00:01:50:05): Hope your Halloween was great. If you're really just off on your calendar. **Thomas** (00:01:50:06 - 00:01:58:17): Salt and straw. Great ice cream shop here in Los Angeles area. I believe it started in Portland, but they have a flavor called the great Candy Copia. **Chip** (00:01:58:19 - 00:02:03:23): Oh are you? I think you've mentioned this before. Tell me, is it just like a mishmash of all what is it? **Thomas** (00:02:03:23 - 00:02:22:04): They make a bunch of homemade versions of, like popular candy bars, and they just crush them into a vanilla ice cream? It is so good. And speaking of just you brought up Halloween. Oh, a while back, our refrigerator failed. Okay, so we got a new fridge. **Chip** (00:02:22:04 - 00:02:41:03): I okay, by the way. Okay, just stop right there. This is we were barely starting the podcast, and you just said you just mentioned Halloween. And I have to say, our refrigerator just failed, and we got a new one. I have no idea where this story's going right now. I know, I know, it's Halloween adjacent, but I'm so excited. Yeah, it could be a haunted refrigerator. **Thomas** (00:02:43:19 - 00:02:44:10): **Chip** (00:02:44:12 - 00:02:57:10): It could be a guy dressed as a refrigerator. And then, you know, he's like, just joshing it because it's just his masquerade costume. I'm. I'm so excited here where this goes as a horror fan as you are, too. Yeah. I'm so excited for this story. So go ahead. **Thomas** (00:02:57:10 - 00:03:16:00): The refrigerator went out. I had to move everything from the freezer into the garage freezer. Okay. And you know what? I never made the return trip until last week. And in my garage freezer, I realized I had two pints of the great candy Copia. **Chip** (00:03:16:02 - 00:03:17:09): What a find. **Thomas** (00:03:17:09 - 00:03:22:22): I don't know where I got to have a little candy copia this weekend. Just a little return to Holloway. **Chip** (00:03:22:23 - 00:03:38:13): Literally. Easter eggs that you found. Oh, yeah. Frozen little Easter eggs. That's amazing. I had, you know, you're just, like, walking down the street or somewhere, and you just, like, you just get a scent of something and aroma. Yeah. It could be a good scent. It could be a bed or whatever, but it just reminds you of something. You're like, oh, hey, that that reminds me of kindergarten. Something happened in kindergarten, and this smell like this. It's like paste or something like that, right? Yeah. I was walking down the street just the other day, and I smelled a scent, and I was like, wait, I love that. Whatever that is, it's that scent. And it took it took me to my childhood. I was like, wait, what was that? That I just smelled? And whatever this what? I don't know what I was actually smelling, or having a stroke. It smelled like the inside of a Halloween bag. Like three days later when, like, all of the candy, like, in their separate wrappers, are just sitting in there marinating. So you get your Snickers, your kitkats, your Reese's, whatever. **Thomas** (00:04:16:20 - 00:04:17:10): **Chip** (00:04:17:12 - 00:04:23:15): And then you just sort of smell the inside here. Yeah. Like in that aroma of all of them colliding together. **Thomas** (00:04:23:16 - 00:04:24:07): **Chip** (00:04:24:09 - 00:04:38:18): It creates a symphony of odor that is just, just beautiful. I think that's maybe we quit the podcast and we just figure out a way we go in with, smeared to coffers or whatever. What is the name of this place? **Thomas** (00:04:38:18 - 00:04:39:23): Salt and straw. **Chip** (00:04:40:01 - 00:04:47:07): That's what young salts from, that we. I think we come up with a signature candle. **Thomas** (00:04:47:07 - 00:04:48:03): Yeah, like. **Chip** (00:04:48:03 - 00:05:08:06): A Yankee candle. That is, trick or treat bag. That's what it's just called. And it's just all of these different things, you know, pushing together the, the peppermint patties, the Butterfingers, and they all just. There's something about it that's with the wrappers in there. The little waxy wrappers. I think that's our number one seller right there. I think that's our first million right there. **Thomas** (00:05:10:09 - 00:05:20:18): I'll tell you what it is. You got to be Tootsie Roll forward, because that's really what's coming down the pike, because everything else is wrapped so well. But the Tootsie Roll has a little loose roll on it. **Chip** (00:05:20:19 - 00:05:22:08): Yes. Yeah, you're right. **Thomas** (00:05:22:08 - 00:05:26:16): And it really does overpower the rest. So it's just a little tootsie forward. **Chip** (00:05:26:20 - 00:05:32:03): Little tootsie in the nostrils. I'm not disagreeing with you, Todd. You're 100% correct with that. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:05:32:03 - 00:05:35:06): We've always talked about what kind of millionaires we wanted to be. **Chip** (00:05:35:06 - 00:05:36:13): I think we're candy millionaires. **Thomas** (00:05:36:13 - 00:05:40:00): Up towards the top is, cent based millionaires. **Chip** (00:05:40:00 - 00:05:42:01): Dollars and cents. That's what we're calling it. **Thomas** (00:05:42:01 - 00:05:45:19): We've got to make some more dollars. But to do that, we got to make sense. **Chip** (00:05:45:19 - 00:05:46:13): Gotta make sense. **Thomas** (00:05:46:13 - 00:05:52:10): All right, enough of this, chip. This is not tropical nor comedic. 00:05:52:12 – 00:05:52:21 UNRESOLVED – Okay? We gotta get into that. The show is about baby. And this episode is going to be a friggin heater doozy. Just like the tropical sun. We're coming in, hot chip. **Chip** (00:06:02:16 - 00:06:04:16): Yes. So hot. I have to put it down for a second. **Thomas** (00:06:04:17 - 00:06:27:06): Let me tell you what we got coming up. Royal Caribbean built a treehouse on a cruise ship, and it is so expensive. So expensive. Yeah, the Olympics of hula are shaking up Hilo. Literally. We've got a lesser known classic. The old man and the sea kayak. And the 5,000 pound walrus. Yep. Martinique has a black sand beach at the foot of an active volcano. And the rum bars are directly adjacent. Ship. Love it. We got a 128 year breakfast food feud. Coachella starts this weekend and you can watch six stages simultaneously for free. Which raises the question why go? We're going to stop into the hypochondriac corner. We got a fish of the week. Harold is in case. Head to tail and a fuze oxygen alarm. Or he runs a harem on his reef and just oozes poison when he's annoyed. And then we're going to crack open the good book to hear about a hotel with too many pools and a wedding that only invited wet blankets. The trouble in Paradise hotline is open. You can leave a voicemail at (310) 845-6038. Any harrowing vacation story? We want to hear your worst one if it's comedic, if it's awkward, if it's weird, leave us that one. And if we. **Chip** (00:07:19:02 - 00:07:19:21): Use. **Thomas** (00:07:19:21 - 00:07:23:01): Your story on the podcast, we're going to send you. **Chip** (00:07:23:03 - 00:07:24:09): Ooh. **Thomas** (00:07:24:10 - 00:07:41:08): A nice Hawaiian Tropic sheer touch. We're not talking about what SPF it might be. And speaking of dude, let's just get into a slather chop. Let's kick this off, slather it up. We're in the the last days of Chilliness around the States for some folks. **Chip** (00:07:41:08 - 00:07:51:22): I'm so excited, man, I am so tired. High 50s today, high 50s tomorrow. And then I think after that we could be we could be cooking for for a good long time, buddy. **Thomas** (00:07:52:00 - 00:08:00:12): We're already cooking here. And let me tell you, it feels great. This weekend went to the beach for the first time this year. Got down in Manhattan, dude. **Chip** (00:08:00:14 - 00:08:00:20): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:08:00:21 - 00:08:08:20): Plopped it right on the sand with the family, and, it was perfect. I posted a little picture up on the Instagram. **Chip** (00:08:09:01 - 00:08:09:14): Yeah, it it. **Thomas** (00:08:09:15 - 00:08:10:20): Rocking and rolling. **Chip** (00:08:10:20 - 00:08:12:02): Man. And bird. **Thomas** (00:08:12:04 - 00:08:18:03): Stand burnt. It felt. Felt amazing. Slathered up. Dude, the baby's getting into slathering. **Chip** (00:08:18:03 - 00:08:18:15): I love it. **Thomas** (00:08:18:15 - 00:08:33:01): Anybody who's tried to sunscreen a toddler I think knows my pain. And all of a sudden I think it's because I do it with such joy. She's just like she she wants to apply three four layers of sunscreen. Even if we're not going outside. **Chip** (00:08:33:02 - 00:08:35:19): There's the love of the game in there and that's what's important. **Thomas** (00:08:35:21 - 00:08:40:23): And she I think she knows there's a mental edge to saying tropical between the ears. **Chip** (00:08:40:23 - 00:08:42:20): She knows it just like our listeners too. **Thomas** (00:08:42:20 - 00:08:52:08): All right everybody this is the sunburn podcast. We talk about comedy tropical travel. If you think those two things should go together stay tuned. Front desk. **Chip** (00:08:52:08 - 00:08:57:22): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308 there for Easter eggs up here in various places around my room. **Thomas** (00:08:57:22 - 00:08:59:13): Mr. Chantry, once again. **Chip** (00:08:59:13 - 00:09:05:20): You know what that means. Fiona only has found 11 eggs. That's pathetic. **Thomas** (00:09:05:21 - 00:09:10:15): Mr. Chantry. Again, you cannot make the maid do an Easter egg hunt in your hotel room. Chip. **Chip** (00:09:10:17 - 00:09:12:00): Yeah, I miss toad. **Thomas** (00:09:12:00 - 00:09:19:00): Episode 57 of the sunburn podcast. Buddy, we are cruisin the Hynes. Dude. How's your weekend, man? Dude? **Chip** (00:09:19:01 - 00:09:28:03): Tropical. Tropical. Jason. It was beautiful out. I like that shorts and a t shirt on Saturday. Went to the Southeast Asian market for the first time. **Thomas** (00:09:28:04 - 00:09:31:18): That's where historically where you get a nice you got a nice Hawaiian there last year. **Chip** (00:09:31:19 - 00:09:35:11): Got a great, Cambodian officially, but yes, it was, basically a. **Thomas** (00:09:35:11 - 00:09:36:18): Hawaiian and island shirt. **Chip** (00:09:36:18 - 00:09:56:21): Island shirt and, beautiful, great. It was it was beautiful. So we get to walk around there just out in the sun, out and about. It was awesome. I put on about 30, I think about 30,000 steps the other day, which was which was great. And then, Easter Sunday got to see the fam a little bit and, you know, found some chocolaty chocolates. You know, that was. How about you? **Thomas** (00:09:58:09 - 00:10:09:08): I love it, dude. I mean, I, I told you, dude, I've been hitting the beach. Yesterday, hit the zoo with my daughter. And it's just been perfect weather out here, buddy, would. **Chip** (00:10:09:08 - 00:10:13:06): You say it was like, was it a Zootopia? **Thomas** (00:10:13:08 - 00:10:32:23): She lives. Zootopia, dude. Yeah. And, at one point, we saw this bird show that they have there at the Los Angeles Zoo. And, in the the hype up period before it starts and everybody sitting there waiting for the stars to arrive. Sure, they started playing one of the songs from Zootopia. And my daughter Lost Your Mind. She started screaming. Zootopia. She's dancing in the stands. So much fun. But also, dude, just like a three sunscreen application trip out of doors. It was monumental. It was fabulous and I'm loving every minute of this sun. **Chip** (00:10:50:00 - 00:10:50:22): Plus, you got a bird show. **Thomas** (00:10:50:22 - 00:10:54:21): Come on. Yeah, it was a great bird show. We saw the fastest animal on the planet. **Chip** (00:10:54:21 - 00:10:55:07): Which is. **Thomas** (00:10:55:07 - 00:11:12:11): What? I forget the name of it, but it's a falcon, and it goes like 250 miles an hour or something like that. And they just, like, they have this, like it looks like a mouse on a, a rope, basically. And this guy just like, whips it around. And this falcon is so fast, it just darts this way. That way it can catch the thing on the rope like in mid swing from, you know, coming from, like up on this hill and it just bomb down. It was very, very fast. It. **Chip** (00:11:23:16 - 00:11:25:17): Oh you talking about a mouse rope is what you're talking about. **Thomas** (00:11:25:17 - 00:11:26:18): I'm talking about a mouse rope. **Chip** (00:11:26:19 - 00:11:31:03): Yeah. Just go down to Home Depot, get a mouse rope. Yeah. And like, they the guy ties the. **Thomas** (00:11:31:03 - 00:11:32:22): You play mouse rope with, Franklin. **Chip** (00:11:32:22 - 00:11:37:22): All the time swinging around. Just live mice. The cats are going nuts. Yeah, it's it's a lot of fun. **Thomas** (00:11:37:22 - 00:11:42:01): I love it, too. And then we saw a big vulture. We also saw a California condor. **Chip** (00:11:42:02 - 00:11:45:00): Wow. Those are very rare, right? **Thomas** (00:11:45:00 - 00:11:57:06): At one point, there was only 22 of them on the planet. Yeah, the conservation efforts at the Los Angeles Zoo alone have produced, more and more condors to the point where there's at least 600. **Chip** (00:11:57:06 - 00:12:00:17): They're doing their thing because, you know, about condors this time of year. **Thomas** (00:12:00:19 - 00:12:07:16): They're huge. And it was fun to see it had a lot of fun. Birds, some parrots. My daughter loved it. **Chip** (00:12:07:16 - 00:12:24:07): Speaking of fathers and daughters and sons, I remember one time, mate, he was like, my dad was in charge of us one night, like my mom was out for some reason and my dad went to the this is I mean, this is way back when a video store was a big deal, like, oh, I don't even know if I was probably in like first or second grade. I don't even know if I had been to a video store yet, but it was just this whole hallowed ground that was right next to his, the grocery store that he managed. And so you could just bring these movies home, The Wizard of Oz, Raiders of the Lost Ark, you know, these. Yeah, classics. And he got this lesser known, I want to say, 1970s or early 80s Disney movie called Condor Man. **Thomas** (00:12:48:01 - 00:12:50:09): Oh, I'm I completely unknown to this guy. **Chip** (00:12:50:10 - 00:13:05:05): And he's basically just this guy that just wears this condor suit. I forget whatever he tries to fly around in, like, fight crime or whatever, but I think it's like a loopy comedy. But man, stinker of a movie, as is I. Even as a kid, I was like, what's happening here? What's going. **Thomas** (00:13:05:05 - 00:13:09:19): On? Yeah, I mean, the fact that there was no Condor man to speaks to it's unpopularity. **Chip** (00:13:09:20 - 00:13:10:18): Unlike Zootopia. **Thomas** (00:13:10:18 - 00:13:14:02): Which, broke records with Zootopia, too, of course. **Chip** (00:13:14:02 - 00:13:14:04): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:13:14:05 - 00:13:30:16): Also the little fox and Zootopia, too. Yeah. He was a hustler, like, kind of a criminal. And Zootopia one. Zootopia two. He is, now a detective. He works with the police instead of against the police. And he wears a Hawaiian. **Chip** (00:13:30:17 - 00:13:35:02): Like a good, like, private eye kind of does, you know, like a like a magnum P.I.. If you. **Thomas** (00:13:35:07 - 00:13:54:04): Exactly. And I haven't got to finish it yet because, my daughter hasn't been in the mood to get all the way through it. But he does wear a Hawaiian. And there there are some tropical elements. And I really do appreciate that. Speaking of a Hawaiian chip, any guess where I bought this bad boy? Take a look at the print. It's a nice, you know, it got some pineapple. It's a nice blue. It's a nice white. **Chip** (00:13:58:21 - 00:14:00:14): Is that a Ross dress or less? **Thomas** (00:14:00:15 - 00:14:05:13): No. Much more alphabetical. Oh. **Chip** (00:14:05:15 - 00:14:07:00): Much more alphabetical. **Thomas** (00:14:07:02 - 00:14:08:03): **Chip** (00:14:08:05 - 00:14:12:10): Alphabetical. Boy, I have no idea. The ABC store. **Thomas** (00:14:12:16 - 00:14:13:17): That's the one. **Chip** (00:14:13:19 - 00:14:24:02): There it is. See, I mean, it looks good. I mean, from from afar here. It's it's. Yeah, but I was like. I was just thinking that maybe you were trying to brag, but, the ABC store, was it on our last trip? **Thomas** (00:14:24:04 - 00:14:27:06): No, no, no, this is 20, 2017. **Chip** (00:14:27:08 - 00:14:30:10): That's a 27. I should have known. That is a 27, print right there. **Thomas** (00:14:30:10 - 00:14:39:03): And, my wife has a matching dress. Yeah, they they really have it all their body. I know it's funny. Your family. **Chip** (00:14:39:04 - 00:14:43:12): Is, Okay. If you ever get separated, they put you back together. It's kind of nice. **Thomas** (00:14:43:12 - 00:14:51:18): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Print matching is the new fingerprinting, but for couples, it lets outside parties know you're together. **Chip** (00:14:51:20 - 00:14:56:10): I know we're starting a candle company where we make candles smelling like the inside of, **Thomas** (00:14:56:12 - 00:14:57:08): Trick or treat bags. **Chip** (00:14:57:09 - 00:15:13:06): Trick or treat bags? Can we just open our, franchise of an ABC store here? Like, would it go over in just, you know, Los Angeles or Philadelphia? I guess it just doesn't have that luster if you're not right next to the beach. **Thomas** (00:15:13:08 - 00:15:33:10): Think about the retail scenario in Philadelphia, like here in Los Angeles. This is a little weird. Yes, CVS is in stores that sell bits and bobs have a little bit of everything. I mean, they're keeping everything behind glass. And that kind of culture will not work for an ABC store. There's too much. Yeah, there's too much to unlock. **Chip** (00:15:33:10 - 00:15:36:03): ABC with your eyes, not with your hands, is what you're saying. **Thomas** (00:15:36:04 - 00:15:51:20): The first retail store opened by your big brother. Yeah, buddy, I but I was looking through my Hawaiians last night. The collection is getting pretty robust. Yeah, and I saw this one. It's like I haven't worn it for a while, and I don't think I've worn it since Chip knew what an ABC store was. Let's pop it on. And I'm glad I did. **Chip** (00:15:53:11 - 00:15:56:07): I man walking me down memory lane. **Thomas** (00:15:56:07 - 00:16:01:06): Remember just being at home. Remember being in Waikiki together every day. **Chip** (00:16:01:06 - 00:16:20:05): I just saw there there was one of these, like, dumb. I'm sure you get these list, like on Instagram or whatever, where it's like the average person has only been to four of these places, and then it lists like 20 places and you count and you've been to eight, so you feel accomplished. Yeah. And but one of them was not just Hawaii, but Waikiki Beach. And it's like, oh, I can now say that I've been there and it just takes you to that. Just sitting there staring at Diamond Head floating in the ocean. **Thomas** (00:16:27:23 - 00:16:44:10): A float, dead float. We have like, on our website. And I've been doing, doing some maintenance, doing some work, some positioning work on our website when, if you guys go to it sunburnt podcast, our com, you're greeted by a video we shot floating in Waikiki Bay. **Chip** (00:16:44:12 - 00:16:45:00): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:16:45:02 - 00:16:51:00): Dude. It makes me so. Had diamond heads right in the background. We're just hanging out there. **Chip** (00:16:51:02 - 00:16:54:15): Literally. A sea turtle is as, swimming underneath us at that moment. **Thomas** (00:16:54:20 - 00:17:14:04): Yeah, yeah, there's sea turtles out there, baby. Yeah. But now we're going to have some news to share soon. Excited? About, like, the upcoming In Paradise schedule, where we'll be bringing comedy and podcasting to tropical locations. And we'd love for you to join us. But, dude, I've just had my head in the tropics lately. I've had my head on vacation, man. We're doing a lot of work to get there and do those great things. Is so fun to do it with you, buddy. **Chip** (00:17:20:09 - 00:17:21:05): It's your meditation. **Thomas** (00:17:21:05 - 00:17:25:03): If you guys haven't been to a tropical island or a tropical location with Chip chantry, you. **Chip** (00:17:25:03 - 00:17:27:11): Got to do it. It's a must have, must do. **Thomas** (00:17:27:13 - 00:17:31:06): Let's get into the meat and potatoes this episode. It's time for for the algo. **Chip** (00:17:31:11 - 00:17:34:21): For the algo serving our robot overlords. **Thomas** (00:17:35:01 - 00:17:38:22): Yeah. This is a segment where we talk about things in hopes that the robots will like us. **Chip** (00:17:38:22 - 00:18:01:10): I like to think, like I picture when I picture. I, and like, these were the data centers and stuff like that. Yeah, sure. I do like to picture, like one, like Johnny five or let's just say to bring it up to date a little bit more, Wall-E, you know, just like one of those little robot guys, and he's wearing a Hawaiian like all the other robot robots to are all business. But there's that one sweet robot who's wearing a Hawaiian. He's probably the robot janitor sweeping up, you know. Yeah. And, I think he sees us. He hears us. He's like, no, these guys, these guys need to be platformed. **Thomas** (00:18:14:01 - 00:18:19:10): Exactly. And something I haven't seen lately. Like, I was driving down, coming back from playing pickleball this weekend. **Chip** (00:18:19:16 - 00:18:20:07): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:18:20:09 - 00:18:26:13): Driving down the road in Beverly Hills, and there was a sign. It was, like, for Al's mechanic shop or something like that. **Chip** (00:18:26:13 - 00:18:30:01): I thought you were just gonna say it was just for owls. Like. Oh, birds. **Thomas** (00:18:30:05 - 00:18:53:11): Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's a night time only shop, though, you know? Yes. And, oddly, you said that, like, we record this, wildly early West Coast time. Yeah. And, right before we started recording, and al was really going nuts outside when I was like, this is this is a dead giveaway that I am up at the early hours. **Chip** (00:18:53:11 - 00:18:55:02): The owls haven't even clocked out yet, but. **Thomas** (00:18:55:05 - 00:19:06:10): And, anyway, there's a couple of different places to have al and the name around, and all I see is I. It just looks like I unless it's got that strong lower lip on the owl. **Chip** (00:19:06:11 - 00:19:08:18): The strong lower lip is is a must these days. **Thomas** (00:19:08:23 - 00:19:12:19): Good when dating. Good when picking a font. You know what I mean. **Chip** (00:19:12:22 - 00:19:13:09): All of it. **Thomas** (00:19:13:09 - 00:19:35:00): Yeah. Back to the zoo really quick. Yeah. I wasn't wearing a Hawaiian. I was wearing a Thomas O'Brien's classic summer tank top. Now, in about hat on a moana hat, tank top. This hair, this beard. And a woman walked up to me and said, I want to give you a compliment. And I was like, okay. And she's like, this is real. And I was like, all right. And she said, you look like the kind of guy that doesn't let things get him to down and has a pretty good attitude most of the time. **Chip** (00:19:45:21 - 00:19:49:16): No. Yeah. That's incredible. **Thomas** (00:19:49:18 - 00:19:51:15): And the nice. **Chip** (00:19:51:17 - 00:19:58:12): Did you did you start screaming at her then be like, don't talk to me in front of my child like that. And then you really just gave her the business. **Thomas** (00:19:58:13 - 00:20:05:08): Yeah. You know, I don't, talk to women who are my wife in front of my daughter. No, I think that would be a bad example. **Chip** (00:20:05:08 - 00:20:08:11): I think the best thing you could have done is throwing a tantrum right then and there. **Thomas** (00:20:08:11 - 00:20:12:10): Yeah, so I berated her, but inside I was like, oh, that's kind of the vibe I'm going for. **Chip** (00:20:12:11 - 00:20:22:02): See, that's the thing, man. I, I put on my, I put on a Hawaiian the other day, we walked down to the diner. It was, it was my first, like, outdoor Hawaiian of the year. **Thomas** (00:20:22:02 - 00:20:26:11): And you're hammered, right? You've had two cocktails at home, one cocktail in your hand. **Chip** (00:20:26:14 - 00:20:40:22): So many. And, no, I'm just walking through where and just the smiles, the disarming effect that it has. Everybody needs to do it. And it's like you were in Hawaii, but you have you have you checked up on you, you know, you're just you're feeling good. **Thomas** (00:20:40:22 - 00:20:55:11): You talk about these canned cocktails. Yeah. I did a little bit of a dive into the cutwater mai tais. Yeah. And found out that each canned is the equivalent of about two and a half normal drinks. **Chip** (00:20:55:13 - 00:21:01:18): Oh, that's what we were drinking, Thomas, in Hawaii. Because we had. Yeah, it was cutwater. That's the brand, right, that they have at the ABC. **Thomas** (00:21:01:23 - 00:21:20:01): It's a great canned Mai tai. If you're going, can Mai tais. I can't think of anything. They can touch it but I the alcohol content was what shocked me. It's why I assumed it was closer to one cocktail. Maybe a beer. Beer and a half. Two and a half drinks. **Chip** (00:21:20:01 - 00:21:24:06): Yeah. If it's as canned cocktails become more, **Thomas** (00:21:24:08 - 00:21:27:00): Prolific as they become more prophylactic. **Chip** (00:21:27:05 - 00:21:34:20): I think become more prophylactic. Here's what you need to worry about, people. Canned cocktails, a lot of them. Not the seltzers, necessarily. Seltzers. They're watered down. **Thomas** (00:21:34:21 - 00:21:35:13): Not a cocktail. **Chip** (00:21:35:15 - 00:21:45:06): The canned cocktails, it's it's not generally one. It's not 1 to 1. There's generally two cocktails, at least inside one cans. So just be careful. **Thomas** (00:21:45:06 - 00:21:50:14): Have you looked at the content of the canned cocktails you've been imbibing in recently? **Chip** (00:21:50:19 - 00:21:54:11): Oh yeah. No. The top dogs that we drink, they're definitely. They are two cocktails worth. **Thomas** (00:21:54:12 - 00:21:56:06): That's how you get to be the top dog. **Chip** (00:21:56:06 - 00:22:15:16): Woof woof, baby. Woof woof. We know that's the thing. I have it. You can dump it into a dump, it into a solo cup. Okay. Yeah. On ice, on the rocks. And it fits. So it's basically one solo cup worth, you know, because it's can and, it's two and one. It's two drinks in one, basically. But I drink that and that's all I have for the evening. And if I have that for the evening, yeah, I'm done. I'm feeling good. And, I can still function, but it's like I just got two drinks in me pretty quickly, and then I'm good for the rest of the day. For the rest of the evening, I should say. So where's the day? Sounds like I'm drinking. I'm at 10 a.m.. This is like, you know, dinner. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:22:33:12 - 00:22:37:08): One can't cocktail. Won't do a chip. Chantry. Whole day of drinking. **Chip** (00:22:37:08 - 00:22:38:06): No, no. **Thomas** (00:22:38:06 - 00:22:45:00): That's, mid to late evening tide over. But that's what you like. You like one quick spike and then read it out. **Chip** (00:22:45:00 - 00:23:02:00): I mean, a quick spike. It's not like I'm doubting it, but, like, we'll take a walk in, like, sip or whatever. You get a little buzz. The buzz lasts about an hour or whatever. You're just like, yep. And then. And then by the time it's over, it's like 7 p.m. and you're like, all right, I'm ready to maybe do a couple things, get ready for bed before I walk the dog and stuff like that. You know, it's just like you're back to your life then. It's just there's something about the happy hour or the cocktail hour that's a little classier. Yeah. I think it's just, **Thomas** (00:23:11:02 - 00:23:14:20): It's definitely classier than morning drinking. And this really. **Chip** (00:23:14:22 - 00:23:17:22): It really is. Yeah. That is 100% sure of the canned ones. **Thomas** (00:23:17:22 - 00:23:24:08): They just there's something about them coming out of a can that makes them go down a little faster, at least in my experience. **Chip** (00:23:24:08 - 00:23:44:15): Because you're not when you are given a my Tai, let's say. And, I taste even a stretch, like, because of my tastes like a special thing. There's usually maybe some garnishes or what have you at umbrella, where you order seven and seven toms for a jack and coke, whatever. Even with that at the lowest end bar, or even if you make it yourself. Yeah, there's a little pageantry to it. **Thomas** (00:23:47:05 - 00:23:47:18): **Chip** (00:23:47:20 - 00:24:04:09): I think it's about the pageantry. And you have this drink and you're like, I need to make this last just a little bit. And there's no pageantry and a can you just dump the can out yet drink it on down the pageantry. Here's what we need to do okay okay. Scented candles like the inside of trick or treat bags. **Thomas** (00:24:04:09 - 00:24:05:08): Yeah. Yep. **Chip** (00:24:05:10 - 00:24:28:03): ABC stores, on the East Coast. I think there's something else we were going to do. Here's my next business plan. All right. We supply wet weather. We come up with our own canned beverage. Or just a supplemental package that is like the garnish or the a little accouterment. For the canned cocktail to make it something special. So instead of just getting a cup water my tie, which is a again like you said a fine drink. We love drinking them sitting on our balconies in our balcony in front of the ocean. **Thomas** (00:24:38:02 - 00:24:38:18): **Chip** (00:24:38:20 - 00:24:46:12): But what if there's like a little package? You get that with a little umbrella? Yeah, with a maybe, like, little freeze dried lemon that you just drop in or something like that? **Thomas** (00:24:46:18 - 00:24:46:22): Yeah. **Chip** (00:24:46:23 - 00:24:49:18): It's make it feel like it's a little special. **Thomas** (00:24:49:20 - 00:24:50:04): Yeah. **Chip** (00:24:50:04 - 00:24:54:07): And then you're drinking it with a little bit. A little bit more pizzazz. **Thomas** (00:24:54:09 - 00:25:13:03): I really, I really like that. There used to be these kits that you could, buy, for flights to make old fashions out of, like, a shot of whiskey. And it would just be like powdered bitters and a little bit of, like, fruit concentrate or whatever. I like it in a glass and then pour that on top. And then you got the the whole thing right there. I'm sure they still exist. I don't I think they used to be at like, maybe want like Hudson News or something like that. Okay. **Chip** (00:25:23:01 - 00:25:23:11): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:25:23:13 - 00:25:31:12): I haven't seen them in a while, but I was like, that's a that's a pretty interesting idea. If you're looking for an elevated, cocktail on an airplane. **Chip** (00:25:31:14 - 00:25:43:01): By the way, that now makes sense that you say that that product is out there, that the last time I flew, I did hear a number of people on my flight yell the words, stewardess, I need a muddler. **Thomas** (00:25:43:03 - 00:25:45:01): **Chip** (00:25:45:03 - 00:25:49:09): So, yeah, I guess maybe that's okay. All right. That makes sense now. **Thomas** (00:25:49:11 - 00:25:52:10): That's it. Well, all right, buddy, we got to get back into the algo. **Chip** (00:25:52:16 - 00:25:53:18): Let's do it. All right. **Thomas** (00:25:53:18 - 00:26:02:15): For the algo. Here we go. Number one story. Chip, the Royal Caribbean built a treehouse on a cruise ship, and it cost more than your house. **Chip** (00:26:02:15 - 00:26:03:23): It's so expensive. 00:26:03:23 – 00:26:05:01 UNRESOLVED – It's, Do you want a share? And then we'll we'll get into it a little bit. **Thomas** (00:26:06:21 - 00:26:39:05): The Royal Caribbean's Hero of the seas, the fourth icon class ship. We've talked about icon class before. Yeah. Launched a suite called the Ultimate Family Treehouse, and it is exactly what it sounds like. The suite spans three full decks. Ship. This is a triple decker all in itself. It's sleeps 12, you know, like an average family. Yeah. And includes a rooftop terrace, a private whirlpool, and a dedicated teen hideout room. **Chip** (00:26:39:06 - 00:26:50:05): You know, you said roof. Rooftop terrace. I heard you. I think you kind of. You kind of caution like that. It sounded like there was a rooftop terrace. Like there's just a man named Terence. **Thomas** (00:26:50:07 - 00:26:50:17): **Chip** (00:26:50:20 - 00:26:51:20): Who is there? **Thomas** (00:26:51:20 - 00:26:53:13): It's actually Terrence Howard. **Chip** (00:26:53:15 - 00:26:58:09): It is. Okay. Just reminding you to, wash your hands. **Thomas** (00:26:58:11 - 00:27:10:21): Yeah. It's, it's one of those bathroom guys. It's apt. He does not accept not being tipped. Okay. If you want to use soap, you have to go through him. And if you, go through him, you got to pay up. **Chip** (00:27:10:23 - 00:27:37:19): By the way, there was I don't if we've talked about this before, but there was. This is getting a little bit into hypochondriac corner, a number of years ago. I don't think it's there anymore. But in, in Philadelphia and this one neighborhood in Philadelphia, there was a PSA billboard, like a full size billboard. Yeah, I have I, I've a photo at somewhere and it literally had a picture of Terrence Howard on it, the actor, and it said, Terrence and this is, this is pre-pandemic. It said, a Terrence Howard reminder. You got to wash those hands. That is 100% real. That was a billboard that was in the city of Philadelphia about 10 or 15 years ago. A with a picture of him smiling. And it was it just said a Terrence Howard Howard reminder. You got to wash those hands pre Covid. Yeah. Yes. This is I'm putting this in about 2010. Oh man. So anyway so the rooftop terrace is there, the. **Thomas** (00:28:06:02 - 00:28:08:10): Rooftop terrace and a Terrence. **Chip** (00:28:08:10 - 00:28:10:15): I just brought Terrence Howard into the whole situation. **Thomas** (00:28:10:16 - 00:28:20:04): We'll get back to it. So the bookings for this Treehouse experience. Yes. Started April 1st, 2026. **Chip** (00:28:20:04 - 00:28:22:19): Not a great time to launch a new venture. **Thomas** (00:28:22:19 - 00:28:39:09): A super expensive kind of out there venture. A lot of people thought it was a joke. Yeah, but, apparently, man, people are booking this bad boy. The starting price, the baseline price for this. You know. **Chip** (00:28:39:15 - 00:28:40:19): Room. **Thomas** (00:28:40:21 - 00:29:08:11): Is $200,000 per week for two people. Check. That's I mean, and I, I think the price might go up as you add more people on because it Lake kind of listed it as 200 people can or two people, can accommodate up to 12. Right. And, this is like not a gimmick. That's like one off. It is a trend. Cruise lines are in a full sprint towards ultra luxury. And, this is just like a big jump in the the cruise line space race. **Chip** (00:29:19:05 - 00:29:26:07): Yeah. They have seen they've seen the numbers. They they have seen income inequality. They know what they need to go after. 00:29:26:11 – 00:29:27:12 UNRESOLVED – **Thomas** (00:29:27:14 - 00:29:30:04): So dude, like to break down the numbers a little bit. **Chip** (00:29:30:06 - 00:29:31:07): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:29:31:09 - 00:29:41:20): $200,000 divided by seven nights. That is a a ultra. It's $28,571 per night up. **Chip** (00:29:41:22 - 00:29:46:23): So 30 grand a night almost. You pay your with the gratuity and all that stuff? Yeah. 30 G's in it. **Thomas** (00:29:46:23 - 00:30:05:22): Yeah. If you split that among 12 guests, that brings the per week per person. This is where you start to make your money back. You bring 12 people, and then they keep it at that $200,000 rate, assuming it doesn't go up. So that leaves you with $16,666 per person per week. **Chip** (00:30:06:00 - 00:30:06:14): Okay. **Thomas** (00:30:06:16 - 00:30:32:16): To put this into terms, everybody might be able to understand the average American or know the median American household income is right around $80,000 a year, meaning this one week of travel cost approximately two and a half years of the average family's earnings. Before taxes. 00:30:32:18 – 00:30:33:21 UNRESOLVED – Yeah. **Chip** (00:30:33:22 - 00:30:42:20): The thing that they they don't tell you about this tree house, is that it was literally built over a weekend by four, ten year old. **Thomas** (00:30:42:20 - 00:30:46:09): Boys. The O'Malley twins got their hands on it. **Chip** (00:30:46:11 - 00:30:51:11): Yeah, there's just up there. There's a hatch door, a fake fireplace, and a couple of nudie magazines. **Thomas** (00:30:51:13 - 00:30:57:13): It's any. It's like any tree house I was aware of. Yep. Growing up, there is a nudie magazine area. **Chip** (00:30:57:13 - 00:31:04:15): The first time I saw a child smoke, a cigaret was in a tree house. Nothing good ever happens to tree houses. **Thomas** (00:31:04:17 - 00:31:08:16): But you were in these cheap bottom of the barrel tree houses, chip. I guess thousand dollars. **Chip** (00:31:08:16 - 00:31:16:04): I was in. Yeah, I was in Philadelphia. Adjacent tree houses. Not exactly the, the high seas. **Thomas** (00:31:16:06 - 00:31:26:04): And one more comparison. An actual luxury tree house resort in Costa Rica runs $1,500 per night. **Chip** (00:31:26:06 - 00:31:26:21): Man. **Thomas** (00:31:26:21 - 00:31:43:18): This specific room is putting a 19 x premium on having this treehouse be over the water. I bet it's super cool. Sure, I bet it is. Would be amazing. But like at that price point, it's just hard for an average person to wrap their mind around that. **Chip** (00:31:43:20 - 00:31:47:13): Yeah, yeah, that number is too big for for me to comprehend. **Thomas** (00:31:47:13 - 00:32:02:04): To finish the story off, everyone here at the Sunburnt podcast would like to wish the Swiss money laundering Family Robinson a wonderful trip on their treehouse. It's say. **Chip** (00:32:02:05 - 00:32:04:11): It's like Titanic meets Ozark. **Thomas** (00:32:04:13 - 00:32:06:00): Oh, it really is. **Chip** (00:32:06:04 - 00:32:07:06): Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (00:32:07:08 - 00:32:19:04): All right, buddy, next story. Man, this one's fun. This one's fun. Dude, the Super Bowl of hula dance starts today, and you can stream the whole thing online. **Chip** (00:32:19:10 - 00:32:20:04): Oh, I'm in. **Thomas** (00:32:20:04 - 00:32:21:01): Yeah. I mean. **Chip** (00:32:21:03 - 00:32:23:06): Why are we going this podcast right now? That's what I want. **Thomas** (00:32:23:08 - 00:32:28:14): What we're doing. We're recording this podcast a little earlier than it starts. It starts on Thursday. Oh. **Chip** (00:32:28:14 - 00:32:30:16): But, that's why you teleport. **Thomas** (00:32:30:17 - 00:33:02:16): Exactly. Hawaii Magazine is reporting that the 63rd annual Mary Monarch Festival is running, right now in Hilo, Hawaii. It's the premier hula competition and cultural celebration in the state. There are three days of competition, including the Miss Aloha Hula, which is today, Thursday, the Calico Division on Friday, and the Ohana division on Saturday. The stream is going to be available in two languages English and Native Hawaiian dialect. **Chip** (00:33:02:18 - 00:33:03:11): Oh, I like that. **Thomas** (00:33:03:15 - 00:33:23:08): Yeah, they're keeping it very real. Like, the whole thing is like a cultural celebration. Obviously, it's the hula and some of the added elements and like, very important for them to keep that language alive. So I think it's, pretty significant. And that technology lets them like kind of broadcast that out. And it's going to be broadcast on Hawaii News Now. Okay. So the competition is going to be there and you can just check it out. So like, yeah, dude, let's let's, let's get our eyes on it. I think it's, pretty cool. Like something that's, a competition like that that's so intricately judged. And so as such, specific criteria, it's like, I don't know, man. Like, I could, you know, I went through my F1 phase where I got really into the ins and outs of driving cars very well, during the Winter Olympics. I like that ice skating and that ice dancing. I'll watch that. Gymnastics has its own like, special criteria that you can get really into. Do it. I think this is probably one of those. And I imagine the commentary on these things would really key you into a lot of the specifics of what makes one who, potentially better than another. **Chip** (00:34:11:13 - 00:34:18:16): Right. And because that's what always gets me. It's like sometimes like with, like when you see somebody again, gymnastics or maybe, let's say diet Olympic diving. **Thomas** (00:34:18:19 - 00:34:19:13): Yeah. **Chip** (00:34:19:15 - 00:34:23:13): I don't know how they see what happens so quickly. **Thomas** (00:34:23:19 - 00:34:24:19): Yeah. **Chip** (00:34:24:21 - 00:34:35:09): Right. Yeah. And so I love hearing people break that down as to like, wait, did that did something. What's the nuance here? And I think I think you're going to get some nuance with the hula with the hula dancing. **Thomas** (00:34:35:15 - 00:34:51:02): Yeah. And like every time you, you can go to like a luau or whatever and they will give you some broad strokes of what the hula means culturally, I guess. Right. But never have I seen anything that's like, this is what's good. Hula. This is like. **Chip** (00:34:51:04 - 00:34:52:00): Right. **Thomas** (00:34:52:02 - 00:35:00:08): What makes somebody potentially better than another? It can get a little weird when you're judging art. Always. But, I don't know. I'm gonna check it out, buddy. **Chip** (00:35:00:08 - 00:35:01:09): I'm into. I'm in. **Thomas** (00:35:01:09 - 00:35:14:03): And you are pretty light on your feet, ship. Everybody knows you're a little bit of a twinkle toes. If you were going to enter a dance competition that was going to be broadcast all over the whole world, what style of dance you think you're going with, buddy? **Chip** (00:35:14:05 - 00:35:27:05): That's hula 100%. Really? Yeah, I think I think with my supple hips. Maybe it's okay. I, I will say, I think there's always something I. My mom grew up. I probably said this before, but my mom girl. **Thomas** (00:35:27:05 - 00:35:28:03): Clogging, right? **Chip** (00:35:28:05 - 00:35:31:11): Clogging. A lot of clogging, clogging, just clogging clogging, clogging. **Thomas** (00:35:31:14 - 00:35:32:06): That's mostly. Toilets. **Chip** (00:35:33:02 - 00:35:54:03): Most of the time. Mostly toilets. But I grew up, like, just in the background. There was always, like, a Rodgers and Hammerstein. Yeah, musical or like, just like some Broadway musical till, you know, South Pacific, Oklahoma or whatever. And I was just always under the impression, yeah, that sailors in the Navy always knew how to tap dance. **Thomas** (00:35:54:05 - 00:35:55:02): Oh, yeah. **Chip** (00:35:55:02 - 00:36:09:19): Yeah, I just assumed that when you joined the Navy, they taught you basic knot tying and how to swap decks and then intensive tap dancing. Because whenever I would see sailors on my television. Yeah, I always be tap dancing. **Thomas** (00:36:09:21 - 00:36:10:18): Yeah. **Chip** (00:36:10:20 - 00:36:15:16): I think being a tap dancing sailor, I would, I, I'd like the challenge. I think I could learn. **Thomas** (00:36:15:19 - 00:36:18:04): Yeah, it turns out it's not a big part of the gig, though. **Chip** (00:36:18:06 - 00:36:26:22): It's very little. Could you imagine, like signing up and turning over four years a life to that, realizing you're not getting a single dance lesson, **Thomas** (00:36:27:00 - 00:36:35:14): Or really even a dance partner. It's tough to find on, one of them ship somebody who wants to really cut, cut a rug. Cut a rug. You know, if they have rugs on ships. **Chip** (00:36:35:15 - 00:36:38:01): They would get so wet. They would get so wet all the time. **Thomas** (00:36:38:01 - 00:36:41:18): Yeah. All right, dude, now, now we're going to a colder climate ship. **Chip** (00:36:41:23 - 00:36:42:11): Yes we are. **Thomas** (00:36:42:16 - 00:36:53:11): We're heading to Norway, where a 74 year old got body slammed by a 5,000 pound walrus and survived. Can you even imagine? **Chip** (00:36:53:13 - 00:37:12:17): No. Being 74? No, I can't just tell you that. Just if you just said, hey, there's a 74 year old man, you're like, wow, okay, see if you get past that. And now he's in a kayak and then you're like, okay, I have to get that. Now he's in Norway. And then a 5000 a 5,000 pound walrus. Dude, listen, Hampson. **Thomas** (00:37:12:17 - 00:37:33:23): Listen to this. There's some there's some wild stuff that's happening here outside online. It's reporting that a 74 year old was kayaking in Norway last year when a walrus capsized his kayak. The walrus in question weighed up to 5,000 pounds. That's roughly the weight of a full size pickup truck. Deciding you don't belong in it's fjord. **Chip** (00:37:34:02 - 00:37:36:02): It's like a fjord F-150, if you will. **Thomas** (00:37:36:03 - 00:38:12:22): Oh, it really is. Ralph was part of a two week Arctic cruise with his wife. So here's the thing. Like, you can cruise two ways. It's, like, really warm or really cold. He went really cold, and he was wearing a dry suit in 30 degree Fahrenheit air when the encounter went sideways. Svalbard, where the incident happened, whose name literally translates to the Cold Coast, has a government regulation requiring residents to be in good enough health to live there. **Chip** (00:38:12:22 - 00:38:16:13): Chep, I've heard of birthright citizenship. This is girth, right? Citizenship. **Thomas** (00:38:16:13 - 00:38:21:21): It's girth. Right? Citizenship. Yeah. You can't stay there if you thick around that center, dude. **Chip** (00:38:22:02 - 00:38:23:12): No. Wow. **Thomas** (00:38:23:13 - 00:38:36:20): For people who aren't big walrus heads. Walruses have three foot tusks, are known to brawl with polar bears, and apparently have zero patience for retired kayakers who left their blinkers on a little too long. **Chip** (00:38:36:22 - 00:38:39:08): Let's take the walrus out of this whole equation first thing. **Thomas** (00:38:39:08 - 00:38:40:01): Let's do it. **Chip** (00:38:40:03 - 00:38:54:21): I've done a little kayaking in my day. Like, not a lot, but I've been on kayaks. You know, like the river kayaks, the long ones that really feel like a tube. They're very like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. There was a commercial on TV. I don't even know what it's like chewing gum or it was something fun. When I was a very kid and there was a kayak, and the kayaker would do the thing where he does, like the barrel roll, you know, where he, like, goes underwater and then comes back and I remember being so incensed by that as a very small child, so scared of it and so, like, why would you who's this person that would put themselves in danger like this? Of what? If it. Because then my head goes to what if it gets stuck upside down and you're just stuck in there upside down. **Thomas** (00:39:20:04 - 00:39:20:20): Yeah. **Chip** (00:39:20:22 - 00:39:36:15): And then that's what happens. And there's always been something to me that hits me with kayaks. Whenever I see that, I always think of that little thing of that guy rolling over in that little commercial and being like, oh, you could try not even thinking that maybe there's a walrus underneath there. **Thomas** (00:39:36:17 - 00:39:42:02): Oh. Did he? Yeah. He might have been, double dipping. Well, let me set your little mind at ease, Chip. **Chip** (00:39:42:04 - 00:39:43:20): Okay. **Thomas** (00:39:43:22 - 00:39:47:02): The roll is the first thing you have to learn when you start kayaking. **Chip** (00:39:47:04 - 00:39:48:04): Okay? **Thomas** (00:39:48:06 - 00:39:56:09): Because if you roll over and, like, you're a lot of times you got the skirt over the top, you're really locked in there. **Chip** (00:39:56:11 - 00:39:56:22): That's what I mean. **Thomas** (00:39:56:23 - 00:40:02:23): Right? And you can't just roll it back over. Yeah. You do a little thing we call drowned. **Chip** (00:40:03:01 - 00:40:05:21): Oh okay. Okay. So like so like step. **Thomas** (00:40:05:23 - 00:40:23:12): That's the next step. So you've got to be so comfortable doing that little flip maneuver. And you do a whole thing with the paddle and whatever that, like, your lower level river kayaker should be able to do that pretty easily, or else they're in a pretty dangerous spot, I think. **Chip** (00:40:23:14 - 00:40:33:04): Yeah. That's that's what like how many a year kayaks are just found upside down. Okay. Around the world. **Thomas** (00:40:33:09 - 00:40:34:07): It's sad. **Chip** (00:40:34:09 - 00:40:41:01): You just see. Oh it just comes float down. Oh there's an upside down kayak. I hope nothing's on the bottom side of that. Right. **Thomas** (00:40:41:01 - 00:40:44:14): I know, yeah. You don't want to find that upside down kayak. **Chip** (00:40:44:14 - 00:41:00:18): But let's get okay. Now it's getting to the whole thing. Just imagine you're enjoying your golden years with your wife or whatever. You're 74. You're you're you're just like, hey, it's chilly out here, but this is fun. And then all of a sudden a 5,000 pound walrus just goes attacked. **Thomas** (00:41:00:20 - 00:41:02:08): It's wild. Dude, do. **Chip** (00:41:02:08 - 00:41:08:18): You think he's like, as he's getting mauled or, you know, at least just, like. **Thomas** (00:41:08:19 - 00:41:09:15): Tusked. **Chip** (00:41:09:17 - 00:41:19:14): Tusked by this walrus? Do you think he. And do you think his wife was just yelling, we should have gone to the Dominican, our party. That's that's what I would have yelled, I think. **Thomas** (00:41:19:14 - 00:41:45:14): Like, not only now I freezing my tits off. Yes, but you just got just chomped by a walrus. Ralph survived a 5,000 pound walrus attack at 74 and age, where most guys can be easily taken out by a slippery bathtub. So this guy's name is Ralph. Hats off to you, Ralph. And gosh dang it, like chips saying, next time just go to the Caymans, dude, I. **Chip** (00:41:45:14 - 00:41:46:18): Think, come on, I. **Thomas** (00:41:46:19 - 00:41:55:06): I think warm weather must calm these walruses down because I've never heard of a walrus attacking the Cayman Islands. **Chip** (00:41:55:08 - 00:42:06:07): No, it's because the what? The Cayman Island walruses are so chill, and they're just having a great time doing the limbo, having a mai tai, enjoying themselves. They don't even have time to attack kayakers. **Thomas** (00:42:06:07 - 00:42:27:13): That Jimmy Buffett mentality. It's like, I'm really going to waste part of my vacation attacking a kayaker. Come on. Really? Yeah. Really? Really. Dude, this one's fun. This one's fun. There is a beach bar serving rum at the foot of an active volcano, and people are calling it a vacation again. **Chip** (00:42:27:13 - 00:42:40:20): Hey, maybe it's this guy, the 74 year old is like, all right, let me go. I got attacked by a walrus. Yeah, I need to go somewhere warm. And chill. I got an idea. The foot of an active volcano. **Thomas** (00:42:40:21 - 00:42:50:12): Still a little dangerous, dude. And this is wild because this is set in the Caribbean. Yeah, I'm very used to there being volcanoes in Hawaii, but like you, I just don't think of it that much. **Chip** (00:42:50:14 - 00:42:51:02): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:42:51:04 - 00:43:19:23): The Caribbean Journal is reporting that the small coastal town of LaCour Bay on the French Caribbean island of Martinique, has long curves of black sand on the Caribbean coast and features world renowned beach bars, rum distilleries and calm waters. Dude, this place sounds unbelievable. But we do know where black sand comes from. That is volcanic rock that's broken down to become sand. Yeah. The town has a signature drink chip. Don't you love Island? Places have a signature drink. Love it. This one's not messing around. It's called Thai Punch, and it's a tropical punch. But, like, they ain't going sweet on your body. It's, literally just a high end rum that they make there on the island. They're distilleries. A little bit of sugar cane sirup. **Chip** (00:43:46:09 - 00:43:46:16): Okay. **Thomas** (00:43:46:16 - 00:43:55:02): And one coin of lime. That's it. Dude, this thing is just rum. A little head, a sweet and a little bit of citrus. **Chip** (00:43:55:02 - 00:43:59:11): So that's. That's my type of drink right there. You're a rum punch. **Thomas** (00:43:59:13 - 00:44:06:11): Yeah, it's a rum, but it's just like, it's supposedly, like, very rugged. It's like, not on the sweet side at all. **Chip** (00:44:06:12 - 00:44:08:04): I love that it's. **Thomas** (00:44:08:04 - 00:44:36:09): Often served with actress, which is a savory, crispy fritter. And, it's, like, almost always accompanies this Thai punch. That's how they do it. They're, And based on the location, you may need to drink several rounds of Thai punches before you stop looking over your shoulder, because amount. Pele, an active volcano, is visible from nearly everywhere in town. **Chip** (00:44:36:12 - 00:44:37:23): Just there to remind you. **Thomas** (00:44:38:00 - 00:44:48:09): Just meaning that like from every beach chair, you're also included with a geological reminder that fire could rain from the tropical sky any minute trip. **Chip** (00:44:48:11 - 00:44:55:09): At any time. And I think that to a certain extent, I think that makes a vacation better because you're like, this could literally be my last day. **Thomas** (00:44:55:14 - 00:44:56:18): Exactly. **Chip** (00:44:56:20 - 00:45:16:08): Let me enjoy it. Just imagine if Diamondhead, okay, for example, is an active volcano just a mile. Yeah. And you're just floating in the ocean or wherever. And then all of a sudden it just that smoke starts pouring out. I mean, I think I would enjoy every moment, just a little bit more. I think, here's the thing. I. Okay, going to be honest with you, Martinique Martin. **Thomas** (00:45:19:05 - 00:45:20:00): Yeah. **Chip** (00:45:20:02 - 00:45:31:18): I don't know if that's even a real volcano. If I were them, I would just like paint a background, like, you know, like a like a tunnel through a wall, like a, like a wily coyote situation. **Thomas** (00:45:31:19 - 00:45:36:17): Like a Broadway backdrop. Like a South Pacific, landscape in the back. **Chip** (00:45:36:18 - 00:45:47:11): Exactly. That just shows a giant volcano, the background to make you feel like you're in imminent danger, just to make you enjoy the moment a little bit more. **Thomas** (00:45:47:16 - 00:46:02:21): Live each day as if your last. Really, like, soak up every minute. And I think, you know, people do feel some pressure to do that on vacation, but wow, what if there was no time to feel and there was just time to know this could all be over any minute. **Chip** (00:46:02:21 - 00:46:20:13): Okay, here we go. Thomas. Candles. That tastes like trick or treat bags ABC stores on the East Coast. There was a third one that I can't remember. It was a great business plan that we had I oh the package that apparently I already made. But the packets, thank you thing for the, for the drinks, for the canned drinks. And then now I think backdrops for. **Thomas** (00:46:24:01 - 00:46:27:00): Vacations, mortality reminder backdrops. Yeah. **Chip** (00:46:27:00 - 00:46:33:05): Like, what if it's more of, like, maybe there's some, like, a, like, a giant robot or a Godzilla kind of creature in the background. **Thomas** (00:46:33:06 - 00:46:38:20): A little harder to be scary when totally static. But, you know, maybe if we get a video element to it, who knows? **Chip** (00:46:38:20 - 00:46:41:10): You shake it a little bit, I think. I think you're fine just. **Thomas** (00:46:41:10 - 00:46:44:14): Shaking it a little bit. It's the answer to most of life's problems. **Chip** (00:46:44:15 - 00:46:45:20): Like a Polaroid picture. **Thomas** (00:46:45:20 - 00:47:01:07): I love that each drink comes with a coin of lime chip. Yes. There's a day coming up near and dear to my heart. April 16th is a national holiday. That is largely spurred on by hollandaise sauce. **Chip** (00:47:01:09 - 00:47:02:03): It is. **Thomas** (00:47:02:05 - 00:47:07:22): It is. The National Day calendar is reporting that April 16th is National Eggs Benedict Day. **Chip** (00:47:07:23 - 00:47:15:01): I have not shoved my poached egg into an envelope and sent it to you yet. I have it in the mail. April 16th is fast approaching. **Thomas** (00:47:15:04 - 00:47:32:21): There is still 15 or, maybe 7 or 8, shipping days left for you to get your eggs Benedict to your loved ones. Yes. But, do you remember, I mean, when we were in Las Vegas, I don't know if. I don't remember if we had breakfast together. We may have stayed up too late and had breakfast at night. **Chip** (00:47:33:02 - 00:47:35:07): We had. We had late night egg sandwiches. **Thomas** (00:47:35:07 - 00:47:55:18): We had late night sandwiches. So my favorite breakfast on the planet is in Sin City, baby. It's in Las Vegas. It's at the Hendrie restaurant inside of Cosmo, where we did have egg sandwiches on a higher level. Back when they used to serve egg sandwiches in the middle of the night. It was from Egg slot where you and I ate. **Chip** (00:47:55:20 - 00:47:56:12): That's where it was. **Thomas** (00:47:56:12 - 00:48:06:05): Yeah. In subsequent trips, I've realized they are shutting that bad boy down pretty early in the evening. Compared to. I just remember us, like, you know, really getting around of, **Chip** (00:48:06:07 - 00:48:08:10): Much needed egg sandwiches in our bellies. **Thomas** (00:48:08:10 - 00:48:33:12): Yes. At about 230, 3:00, after you'd played the Jimmy Kimmel Kimmel comedy club. Yes, at the Henry, at the Cosmo, they have a short rib Benedict, and it's my my favorite breakfast on the whole planet. Do it. It's, They got the egg. They got the hollandaise sauce, but it's on top of delicious short rib, which is on top of, a hash, a hash browns. Not not an English muffin. Hash brown. It's this, really, really great play. They have a Henry here in Los Angeles. They do not have. I don't know if it's the same restaurant or not. I think it is. I think it is probably same restaurant, just much different menus. They don't have it here. **Chip** (00:48:48:01 - 00:49:00:23): It's, I believe, for them. Correct. It's just a house where a guy named Henry lives. And you just keep going there in the morning demanding breakfast, high ed breakfast, which seems a little. I would be off point if I were Henry. **Thomas** (00:49:00:23 - 00:49:06:00): Oh, I mean, that's the Los Angeles one. Yeah, but like, the one in Las Vegas is definitely. It's right. **Chip** (00:49:06:00 - 00:49:07:16): That's true to form. Sure. **Thomas** (00:49:07:16 - 00:49:34:09): Back to Eggs Benedict. So there's some controversy here. Yep. Okay. The dish dates back to 1898. Wow. With competing origin stories. Delmonico's restaurant claims it and the Waldorf Hotel claims it. And both parties have been warring ever since. This is a beef that's lasted 128 years. **Chip** (00:49:34:09 - 00:49:38:01): But luckily, it's a beef covered in some delicious hollandaise sauce. **Thomas** (00:49:38:02 - 00:49:43:19): Ooh, if it's the short rib, it certainly is a beef covered in delicious hollandaise sauce. How do you feel about hollandaise sauce? **Chip** (00:49:43:21 - 00:49:47:23): It's fine. I I'm not a big, saucy, creamy guy. **Thomas** (00:49:48:00 - 00:49:52:04): You don't like cheese. You don't like spicy, creamy like sour cream. **Chip** (00:49:52:08 - 00:50:07:02): I can deal with a little hollandaise sauce. I've had it. Eggs Benedict. I've enjoyed it. But it's not like I don't seek it out. I will say that. But the ones that you're describing are not pretty good. But but hollandaise is good. There's a little sweet little tang to it, so I'll take it. **Thomas** (00:50:07:02 - 00:50:18:01): I like my mother's big request for Mother's Day. We we do breakfast in bed every year. Eggs Benedict. That's what she wanted. She wanted that hollandaise sauce on some eggs on an English muffin. **Chip** (00:50:18:01 - 00:50:35:11): Not to blow up your spot or anything like that. So please. And you can edit this out. But that is a difficult day for you for the Mother's Day, because you have to make that without hollandaise sauce in there and breakfast in bed. Your parents and I believe grandparents and three aunts and uncles, they all sleep in one bed, just like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, right? Yeah. So you have to deliver the hollandaise sauce to each of those people sitting. It's kind of like foot to head to foot, you know, back and forth. So that's got to be a lot of holiday sauce in that, in that bed of 8 or 9 people. **Thomas** (00:50:48:04 - 00:51:02:09): Yeah. They sleep had to foot cracked crack. Right. But it's a it's a California king. That's plenty of room. Yeah. And yeah. And if anybody passes away a California condor comes in and picks that carcass clean. It's a real California experience. **Chip** (00:51:02:09 - 00:51:06:12): Did I just come up with the worst reality competition show of. **Thomas** (00:51:06:12 - 00:51:07:15): All time in the bed? **Chip** (00:51:07:17 - 00:51:20:14): It's just eight elderly people in a bed. Yeah. And then you see who last the longest. Yeah. I think again, we're just $1 billion idea after another this episode. **Thomas** (00:51:20:17 - 00:51:26:17): Chip, you're really cooking today. What's the name of that show? **Chip** (00:51:26:19 - 00:51:32:18): That's a that's a good one. Any any ideas? From your end. **Thomas** (00:51:32:20 - 00:51:35:01): All right. Who peed my bed? **Chip** (00:51:35:03 - 00:51:38:02): I think that could be it. Yeah, that might be. **Thomas** (00:51:38:02 - 00:51:42:00): Head to foot. Crack to crack is also a second dairy name option. **Chip** (00:51:42:00 - 00:51:44:04): Yeah. So you think you can nap? **Thomas** (00:51:44:06 - 00:51:50:01): So you think you can nap? Yeah. It sounds like a good show, dad. It sounds like it could be very. **Chip** (00:51:50:01 - 00:51:51:05): Slow moving. 00:51:51:07 – 00:51:52:04 UNRESOLVED – Over. **Thomas** (00:51:52:06 - 00:51:56:09): Speaking of, world class entertainment, Coachella is coming up, buddy. Have you. **Chip** (00:51:56:09 - 00:51:56:16): Ever been. **Thomas** (00:51:56:16 - 00:52:15:08): Times. No. I've never been like, I want to ask you, a little bit about your your concert going past Chip in a second, but, just going to get this out of the way. Coachella starts this weekend, and you can watch the whole thing for freezes, which raises the question, do you need to go? **Chip** (00:52:15:08 - 00:52:17:07): As Eddie Vedder once said, why go? **Thomas** (00:52:17:07 - 00:52:38:12): Coachella 2026 kicks off in Indio, California, this weekend, and the full streaming guide is already circulating for a majority of people who are not attending. YouTube alone ran six simultaneous broadcast channels in previous years during Coachella weekend, multiple stages at once commercial free and HD chip. **Chip** (00:52:38:14 - 00:52:39:14): Love it, love it. **Thomas** (00:52:39:14 - 00:53:19:13): The festival's official stream runs across YouTube, Twitch, and potentially TikTok. No wristband, no $18 water, no bathroom emergencies, no. The audience for the free stream historically dwarfs in-person attendance. The Coachella fits roughly 125,000 people per week. The YouTube stream pulls in millions of concert viewers, simultaneously so that they've made it so easy to watch for free. Obviously, you're going for the experience, but like from where I'm sitting, this is largely an age based issue. There was a time in my life where I was like, if I can get the time off, I'm going to Coachella. **Chip** (00:53:26:11 - 00:53:26:15): And. **Thomas** (00:53:26:15 - 00:53:41:03): Now I feel differently. Yeah. So my question to you is, how old were you? The last time going to a Coachella like music festival seemed like the move for you? **Chip** (00:53:41:05 - 00:53:42:11): Literally. Never. **Thomas** (00:53:42:11 - 00:53:44:02): Never. Okay, yeah. That's fair. **Chip** (00:53:44:02 - 00:54:02:02): There was a time where, the band Phish, who is, you know, the jam band I've seen 20 plus times over the years. Mostly when I was in high school, college, and just out of college. Yeah, but I've had friends who I've seen hundreds of times. Yeah, but they would do these three to. And they actually, I think down in Mexico they still do. But like they would do these three day festivals like on, like an airbase up in, like an old airbase up in Maine or like down in the Everglades or just in the middle of nowhere for these three day, like, hippie whatever. And I had friends who went there and part. I just couldn't go. But I was like, oh, that sounds awesome. But then just all the stuff around it. Yeah, that you said the bathrooms, sleeping in tents, the traffic getting in and out is just, you know, crazy. If I want to see a concert, like go see the concert and then go home, sleep in your own bed, that's. Yeah, that's that's my speed. That's my. **Thomas** (00:54:36:22 - 00:54:42:21): Speed. That works. Also, these streams are pretty good, man. You got a nice system. You got a nice system bumpin. **Chip** (00:54:42:22 - 00:54:44:22): You feel like you're there. Get a big screen TV, set them up. **Thomas** (00:54:44:22 - 00:54:47:04): You're drinking a hot water cocktail. **Chip** (00:54:47:04 - 00:55:03:13): It's too late now, I guess. But I think next year we do a watch party, a Coachella watch party? Yeah, maybe we can get Cutwater sponsor pack. Look, we're not going. We're just going to sit in our respective homes and watch it together. Have a little watch party. I think it's what we do. **Thomas** (00:55:03:14 - 00:55:18:06): Our feet and little kitty pools in our living rooms. Just going ham. I love it, buddy. Right. That's it for for the algo. We are moving on to the hypochondriac coroner. Chip. Just a quick little hit. Do you have anything for the hypochondriac corner? **Chip** (00:55:18:07 - 00:55:29:11): The only thing I have is I do apologize. I think it's I feel fine, but I think it's an allergy season that, That voice is starting to go a little bit. So I'll sound a little hoarse, probably for the next few weeks, because that's the way it is. **Thomas** (00:55:29:13 - 00:55:32:08): Yeah. And you think maybe it's polio? **Chip** (00:55:32:10 - 00:55:35:04): Yes. Just a little. Just. It just a touch of polio. **Thomas** (00:55:35:08 - 00:55:38:13): A touch of Marco. Polio. Marco. **Chip** (00:55:38:13 - 00:55:55:11): Polio. My my only real hypochondriac corner this week was that my, my lovely wife had a little incident yesterday. She doing some exercise on her leg. She end up hurting her calf muscle really bad. Thought it could have been the maybe the Achilles. **Thomas** (00:55:55:14 - 00:55:57:17): The Achilles? That's the biggest. Scared. **Chip** (00:55:57:19 - 00:56:01:05): Yeah. So we ended up having to go to the emergency room. **Thomas** (00:56:01:08 - 00:56:01:23): Yeah. **Chip** (00:56:02:01 - 00:56:28:03): And, man, it's just there's something about an emergency room where you're just in there and you're just looking around to see who is diseased. Yeah, who is not. It's always. It's. This is the sad part. It's always reassuring when you see a woman who's, like, moaning two chairs down and you're like, But then she reveals that she's holding like an ice pack on her arm and you're like, okay, a broken wrist is not contagious. Yeah. You feel okay? So you kind of survey the scene for a while and you're like, all right. Yeah, but I mean, here, you know? **Thomas** (00:56:33:22 - 00:56:38:08): Yeah. You separate into whoopsies and The Walking Dead. **Chip** (00:56:38:10 - 00:56:51:01): Yes. And, so you'd hope that those people were hopefully ushered away into their own space. Yeah. You never know. Yeah. So, you know, maybe a little nervous, but. Yeah, but I felt strong. I was like, you know, I'm I'm here. I can do this. And. **Thomas** (00:56:51:01 - 00:56:54:21): Well, it helps. When are you there for somebody else. When you got to be strong for your wife. **Chip** (00:56:54:23 - 00:57:14:05): Well, I will say, actually, I did, in full disclosure, I did abandon her at one point, okay? Because. All right, they took her. They took her back. Yeah. And I went back with her to the intake thing, and they're like, okay, we're going to take you to a special room. Now you need to wait another waiting room. They're like, unfortunately, you can't go with her. There's not enough room. And I was like, okay, I'll just wait. And then I said, okay, I'm going to go wait outside because it's like, just what? I'm just going to stand right outside the door, get some fresh air. It's nice out, whatever, you know? So I'm not taking up a seat in the emergency room, but I'll be right outside. And then I was waiting for a while and I realized this emergency. We're in South Philly. It's literally two blocks from our home. **Thomas** (00:57:38:03 - 00:57:39:02): Right? **Chip** (00:57:39:04 - 00:57:56:07): And, I was I texted her one point. She's fine. She's, you know, her leg hurts, but she's she's okay. And, I texted her. I was like, hey, you know, we're texting back and forth, and I at one point I said, hey, I'm getting it was getting a little chilly because the sun was going down. I was like, I'm going to run back to the house to get my jacket, and I come back. Can I get you anything? She's like, why don't you just. She's like, it's going to be a while. Why don't you just stay home and I'll text you when I'm done? And then I ran back when I was like, because it's literally two blocks away. So it's like, yeah, white. The difference between standing outside or being, it's literally she got out and I ran over and helped her out. So yeah, I was there, but I didn't have to breathe in the emergency room. That. So that's my little hypochondriac corner. **Thomas** (00:58:22:01 - 00:58:26:17): Why help out your wife when you can watch two and a half episodes? And I think you should leave. **Chip** (00:58:26:19 - 00:58:29:00): Exactly, exactly. **Thomas** (00:58:29:00 - 00:58:42:22): Gotta get that time going dead. Well, my my hypochondriac corner moment. You're never going to believe it. Circles around the award winning huge hit, the pet. **Chip** (00:58:43:00 - 00:58:43:18): Okay. Yep. **Thomas** (00:58:43:18 - 00:59:09:12): And this one has your name written all over it? Yep. It was like, a real. I get this, a young man comes in with his mother into the pet. He has asthma, but because of some paperwork. Nonsense. The family got kicked off of Medicaid. So they haven't been able to afford his asthma medication. And this guy is just huffing and puffing on. I don't even know what it is. Some kind of like, I guess, black market, weak sauce inhaler situation. That's not the right deal. And he just can't get any air in. He is often in puff and he has fear in his eyes. The mother is freaking out. She's like, it's never been this bad. He's had asthma his whole life. But like, it's just like we can't afford his medication anymore. Normally, if he has a big episode, we can use the stopgap, but, like, we're we're in over our head. He can't breathe, and they're, like, checking him out. They're taking him in, and, they give him all of the stuff that you're supposed to get. He gets, like, an EpiPen. He gets, you know, whatever. Albuterol, whatever, supposed to go in to make the asthma stop. Right? And none of it is working. Yeah. And I guess, like, when somebody has severe asthma reaction, I forget the statistic, but it's just like, it can be, you can cause permanent damage. Okay. By intubating, by putting a tube down the throat. And I think even, maybe even death like, results in a large portion I can imagine. **Chip** (01:00:14:02 - 01:00:14:16): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:00:14:18 - 01:00:36:22): If you're doing the innovation. So they're about to do it because he is dying. And then a night doctor who clocked in a little early or like it's right at the track, it goes, no, we can't do that. He does another test and realizes what the young man has is a collapsed lung chip. It has nothing to do with the asthma. And what he has to do is he cuts an incision in the man's chest between the ribs and just pops a finger in there and goes, flips the switch. It starts. It starts, working again? Yeah. The guys. **Chip** (01:00:52:15 - 01:00:53:19): Okay, look at that. **Thomas** (01:00:54:00 - 01:01:02:23): It was very stressful, man. What do you do? It just makes you think, like, what would happen if I can't breathe? And then when I found out it was the collapsed lung, I remembered your collapsed lung. Yep. Yep. **Chip** (01:01:03:01 - 01:01:05:01): Absolutely. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:01:05:02 - 01:01:08:19): Oh, what a wild ride. Dude, we need that air to breathe, baby. **Chip** (01:01:09:00 - 01:01:19:18): You don't know what's going on inside. They. They had the wrong thing. That could have been disastrous if they now put that little thing down. But all he had to do was flip the switch. I like how he has a little switch in his chest. That's my favorite part. **Thomas** (01:01:19:18 - 01:01:24:17): I didn't like that you had to access it by cutting a hole through the rib cage. **Chip** (01:01:24:19 - 01:01:27:12): That's what they did with me. It was just a very small hole. A small hole. **Thomas** (01:01:27:12 - 01:01:29:01): Oh did they? They had to go inside. **Chip** (01:01:29:01 - 01:01:44:23): Yeah they did. I mean it was, it was I mean, it was literally like sitting there. It wasn't like a, like a procedure. It was a procedure. But it wasn't like, yeah, I was literally just sitting up in the emergency room and he's like, oh yeah, I'm going to do this thing. And he like somehow like it was a very small one. And he like Burrows this little hole like this tube in through like between, like two ribs. And then that tube is hooked to a little machine. It's basically a vacuum, and it sucks. The air out of your chest cavity so that your lungs can then inflate. **Thomas** (01:02:03:04 - 01:02:11:15): Good God, does that just proved me. I don't know how lungs work or anything else really. In the human body. I'm terrified of all of it. I understand zero of it. **Chip** (01:02:11:15 - 01:02:28:02): I was hooked up to that machine for like 48 hours, where it slowly sucks the air because somehow air gets inside the chest cavity. So then on the outside of the lungs. So then the lungs can't open because there's too much pressure. So you have to suck that pressure out. So then the lungs can open up. **Thomas** (01:02:28:04 - 01:02:31:11): Why? Why is there got to be so much pressure in modern life? Chip, you know, what. **Chip** (01:02:31:11 - 01:02:50:12): Would it be, by the way? Okay, I'm going to say this right now. Yeah. Forget the trick or treat candle. Forget the ABC store in the East Coast. Forget all that stuff. I'm going to go to school. I'm going to get my degree. I'm going to become what you just said a night doctor. Yeah, I think I want to be a night doctor, but that has to be a special degree that you get. Yeah. It's like being a dentist or a foot doctor or whatever. Right? **Thomas** (01:02:54:21 - 01:02:56:04): You're a doctor of the night. **Chip** (01:02:56:06 - 01:03:01:22): You're a doctor of the night. I mean, just the business cards alone. **Thomas** (01:03:02:00 - 01:03:04:17): I mean, you don't need a degree to get a business card. Yep. **Chip** (01:03:04:18 - 01:03:06:18): Doctor. Chantry. Night, doctor. **Thomas** (01:03:06:19 - 01:03:07:21): Night, doctor. Chantry. **Chip** (01:03:08:00 - 01:03:08:20): I think it's what I'm going to do. **Thomas** (01:03:08:20 - 01:03:16:01): Oh. What would that be in the running if you were an adult film star for your, your performance. Name? Night, doctor. **Chip** (01:03:16:01 - 01:03:18:13): Night, doctor. 100%. That's top of the list. **Thomas** (01:03:18:17 - 01:03:21:06): Yeah. Sounds like a romantic, specialist. 01:03:21:08 – 01:03:23:09 UNRESOLVED – Yeah, yeah. All right, that's it for the hypochondriac corner. Now we're heading to Fisher. **Chip** (01:03:28:20 - 01:03:31:14): The week fish of the week. **Thomas** (01:03:31:14 - 01:03:35:04): Chip, tell us who our saltwater superstar is this week. **Chip** (01:03:35:04 - 01:03:43:05): I'm so excited. I want to introduce everybody. Just look at them right here. This is Howard, the born in box fish. Okay. **Thomas** (01:03:43:10 - 01:03:44:01): Come on. **Chip** (01:03:44:01 - 01:03:49:10): Howard. Woof. And yes, I know what you're asking. He is of the Connecticut box fishes. **Thomas** (01:03:49:12 - 01:03:50:09): That's a blue blood. **Chip** (01:03:50:10 - 01:04:05:05): That is a blue blood. Although you won't actually find him in Connecticut anymore, you're gonna find Howard in the reefs of the South Pacific, Indian Ocean. But, the last time I saw Howard, he was in the South Pacific. Howard is seven inches long, which is respectable. **Thomas** (01:04:05:10 - 01:04:07:04): Yeah. Very respectable. **Chip** (01:04:07:06 - 01:04:08:01): Very respectable. **Thomas** (01:04:08:02 - 01:04:09:18): Ask a night doctor. 01:04:09:19 – 01:04:11:19 UNRESOLVED – He's he's he. **Chip** (01:04:11:19 - 01:04:17:12): Kind of is a night doctor. I will say that Howard is kind of a night doctor of the ocean. But why do you call it a box fish? Thomas, do you want to know? **Thomas** (01:04:17:12 - 01:04:19:13): Because he comes in convenient packaging. **Chip** (01:04:19:13 - 01:04:43:01): As a matter of fact, he does. He has what we call a carapace. There's a vocab word today. Carapace. Let's say it all together. Carapace a carapace. I've never heard this word before. Now I know a carapace is a hard exoskeleton, like a turtle shell or a crab. You know, the crab has the exoskeleton or the sarcasm of a stand up comedian. It's just a protective defensive layer to keep all that gooey stuff safe inside. **Thomas** (01:04:48:03 - 01:04:49:06): But he's a fish. **Chip** (01:04:49:06 - 01:05:12:21): But he's a fish, so it's literally like a box. He's shaped like a little cube. He's this boxy carapace has openings, so it's like it's this beautiful box. And he has openings for his eyes, his mouth, his gills, his fins and his tail that it's just sort of stick out of this, like box structure. It's like when a little kid goes trick or treating as a robot. But it's basically just a big box with some tinfoil on it. You can't really move, you know, and he's like, falls over and he's just done. **Thomas** (01:05:19:14 - 01:05:23:09): So this fish looks like he had no parental help with his costume. **Chip** (01:05:23:12 - 01:05:35:13): None. Okay. So he can't move quickly. He just propels his body with his little. It's kind of like the the Gerald. Our last guy. Yeah. Couldn't really move his tail too. Too. Well, same thing with Howard. **Thomas** (01:05:35:14 - 01:05:36:09): The file fish. **Chip** (01:05:36:10 - 01:05:42:02): He just has his little pectoral fins that he, like, just sort of doggy paddles out, like, with his little jazz hands. Like, that's all. 01:05:42:02 – 01:05:42:15 UNRESOLVED – I'm. Doing right there, Howard. Maybe shaped like an Ottoman. But he's a breathtaking beauty. **Thomas** (01:05:48:16 - 01:05:51:00): Oh, I mean, this is a good looking fish. **Chip** (01:05:51:00 - 01:06:03:01): He's got yellow spot and white spots on the top. He's got orange and yellow spots on his sides, and he's got blue spots everywhere else. And do I mean everywhere. 01:06:03:02 – 01:06:06:01 UNRESOLVED – Whoa. Okay. Howard hit puberty and just went full peacock. 01:06:09:21 – 01:06:10:09 UNRESOLVED – Okay. Here's the thing. It's Howard special. He's he's a man. He's got a little privilege. Okay. **Thomas** (01:06:15:07 - 01:06:15:21): Yeah. **Chip** (01:06:15:21 - 01:06:40:21): The female box fish and the juvenile box fish. They have their dark brown with just white stripes. They're very, white dots. Yeah, they're very muted. Okay. It's for their protection. It's kind of like a cardinal when you see, like a cardinal bird. Like the big beautiful red cardinals. Always the male, female cardinal is is usually a little, you know, not not quite is, you know, they, they keep it a little, keep a little down. **Thomas** (01:06:40:21 - 01:06:42:06): They play it down. Down, play it. **Chip** (01:06:42:06 - 01:06:49:09): So they're downplayed. But the men are the ones that are peacocking. They're just it. He literally he's dressed like he's going to Burning Man. Okay, so. **Thomas** (01:06:49:10 - 01:06:50:03): Oh yeah. **Chip** (01:06:50:03 - 01:06:53:19): Dad, he's just a little floating Rubik's cube out there for all these beautiful colors. **Thomas** (01:06:53:19 - 01:06:55:14): He's a ninth degree wizard, baby. **Chip** (01:06:55:15 - 01:07:20:00): He really is. So he's not very nimble in this beautiful box that he's got on. Yeah, but I will say, don't mess with him, Thomas. Don't mess with Howard. Because if he senses trouble, he starts to ooze. He just starts oozing out from his skin. That just you mess with predators. Just this toxin that just comes out and they're just like, stay away from this dude. **Thomas** (01:07:20:01 - 01:07:21:05): Oh, my gosh. **Chip** (01:07:21:06 - 01:07:28:19): It's kind of like when that kid who's trick or treating in the robot costume has to pee, but can't get out of it and just piece robot costume. **Thomas** (01:07:28:22 - 01:07:30:23): Yeah, you're not going to mess with that kid. Let's. **Chip** (01:07:30:23 - 01:07:33:15): Just let's just keep away. That's what Howard does. **Thomas** (01:07:33:20 - 01:07:35:15): Oh, Howard, God bless you. **Chip** (01:07:35:16 - 01:07:55:11): Here's my favorite thing that he does that it's my favorite thing that Howard, because he's got these protective things. He's got the use. Right. Again, he can't move very well, but he does have the protective shell. He's usually hanging out the reefs. Okay. Yeah. Let's say he detects trouble, might ooze, or if he has enough time, he can find a little crevice in a noose, like a little, you know, like back alleyway. **Thomas** (01:07:55:11 - 01:07:55:18): Yeah. **Chip** (01:07:55:19 - 01:08:10:05): He'll go inside and hide in the reef. But here's what he does. And apparently, I guess a lot of fish do. When a fish will do that, they might just go hide inside the reef, you know, really go into like, a little crevice. What he does is the boxers, they do this thing where they go in and then they pivot. They turn around and they look out from the there a little crevice. Yeah. Watch whatever dangerous happening out there. So they're just like eyes out watching instead of just going in and hiding. They just like turn around and watch. It's kind of like you, Thomas. Like you do this, you know, when you're walking home to your house at night. Yeah. And you encounter some youths on the street. **Thomas** (01:08:30:08 - 01:08:30:15): Yeah. **Chip** (01:08:30:15 - 01:08:38:21): You're like, oh, this bad? Is it? You're like running with your groceries and you run inside your house and you lock the door, and then you just stare outside the plants for like 45 minutes. **Thomas** (01:08:38:21 - 01:08:40:01): Yeah, yeah, you got to. **Chip** (01:08:40:02 - 01:08:44:07): That's what Howard does whenever he is in trouble. **Thomas** (01:08:44:09 - 01:08:47:03): Howard, I can relate, buddy. That's the way you do it. **Chip** (01:08:47:04 - 01:08:52:01): He just loves sticking out his head out of that. That little back alley and watching the trouble. **Thomas** (01:08:52:03 - 01:08:54:07): Howard likes to watch. Howard likes to. **Chip** (01:08:54:07 - 01:09:14:15): Watch you say that. Unfortunately, because of this, Howard has recently been questioned by police for some alleged peeping Tom activity. And so that's why we haven't been really been to locate, Howard for the last few weeks. He's, he's keeping a low profile in his beautiful, colorful, boxy shell. **Thomas** (01:09:14:15 - 01:09:19:07): Sometimes the most beautiful packages are the scariest weirdos and sideshow, don't you? **Chip** (01:09:19:07 - 01:09:26:13): And I know it. But, Thomas, that is Howard, our fish of the week. The spotted box fish. **Thomas** (01:09:26:15 - 01:09:39:13): Congratulations on being fish of the week. We hope you know everything resolves accordingly, but, you know, I. I love to celebrate, Howard, but then I think about the victims, you know? **Chip** (01:09:39:15 - 01:09:40:03): Exactly. **Thomas** (01:09:40:03 - 01:09:55:18): Well, that's it for fish of the week. Fish of the week. Our hero of the deep, dude. Next, ship. We're just keeping on moving. It's time to get into the the good book. The good book? What did you bring to the party today, Chip? **Chip** (01:09:55:19 - 01:10:04:20): My record this week. Thomas. August 27th, 2011. Wow. Going back in jail words. No. Poland. You know George. No. Poland. You. Summer. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:10:04:20 - 01:10:06:16): It's my favorite part of Poland. **Chip** (01:10:06:18 - 01:10:15:14): Cause now 303 people attended the wedding of Iowa student Scott and Paul Borkowski. **Thomas** (01:10:15:16 - 01:10:17:04): It's a big wedding ship. **Chip** (01:10:17:06 - 01:10:21:09): 303 people. And let me tell you, Thomas, there was not a dry eye in the house. **Thomas** (01:10:21:11 - 01:10:22:10): Big emotional event. **Chip** (01:10:22:10 - 01:10:29:18): Because this is the world's largest underwater wedding. What underwater wedding? **Thomas** (01:10:29:21 - 01:10:30:23): 300 plus people. **Chip** (01:10:30:23 - 01:10:41:10): Underwater wedding 303 friends, family members and scuba enthusiasts joined this happy couple to watch them take the plunge. Literally. **Thomas** (01:10:41:10 - 01:10:43:17): What does this mean? Underwater wedding. What does this mean? **Chip** (01:10:43:22 - 01:10:59:22): They were in this, like diving center, which almost seemed like a lake kind of situation in Poland. But it's like for scuba divers to like go dive down and do their thing. Right. Okay. 303 people donned their finest tanks and flippers. **Thomas** (01:10:59:22 - 01:11:02:13): Oh, my God, they're they're going out. Tanks and flippers. **Chip** (01:11:02:13 - 01:11:20:14): Scuba on down. Wow. Where they met with a, a priest, like, literally, it was an 80 minute ceremony performed by Father Powell. Robel, you ready for this one? A local priest and licensed frogman. **Thomas** (01:11:20:16 - 01:11:21:22): I love the combo, dad. **Chip** (01:11:21:22 - 01:11:36:14): He's a priest and a licensed frogman, which I think being a frogman is fun. It's. By the way, unfortunately, licensed frogman is somebody who knows how to scuba. I just love it. One of the few things that I cannot do in this life, I'm not allowed to scuba dive. **Thomas** (01:11:36:14 - 01:11:37:13): Because, of course. **Chip** (01:11:37:15 - 01:11:46:04): Because of the collapsed lung. They told me that's one of the things you can't do is you can't scuba dive. So I will never be a licensed, frogman. But, hey, what are you gonna do? Can you. **Thomas** (01:11:46:04 - 01:11:46:16): Snorkel? **Chip** (01:11:46:16 - 01:11:48:04): Chip, I can snorkel. I'm allowed to. **Thomas** (01:11:48:04 - 01:11:50:19): Start. We gotta make up the difference. Then we'll snorkel soon. **Chip** (01:11:50:20 - 01:11:58:14): Thank you. And, so the 80 minute ceremony was communicated by these, like, signs and also just the sign language that they use. **Thomas** (01:11:58:14 - 01:11:59:16): It's kind of cute. Yeah. **Chip** (01:11:59:17 - 01:12:16:18): Because they they can't be doing the talking. Yeah. So here we go. Let me just let me just bang down the details real quickly. Okay. Hang it out in my thoughts on this. Eight. So the 303 people, the world's largest underwater wedding in 2011. I've heard of destination weddings, but this is ridiculous. **Thomas** (01:12:16:23 - 01:12:18:14): Yeah. **Chip** (01:12:18:16 - 01:12:26:10): The ceremony was great, but the. But the reception was terrible, the buffet was awful. And three people drown during the maid of honor speech. 01:12:26:12 – 01:12:27:19 UNRESOLVED – Okay, the. Honeymoon couple in the Mariana Trench. Hey, come on. This is the first time for a wedding night. A couple had to wear rubbers. All right. Hey. All right. Good. All right. The dress code was hypothermia. Casual, just for fun. Charges. The something blue for the bride was her grandmother. At the end of the ceremony. 01:12:45:22 – 01:12:46:01 UNRESOLVED – The. Couple was registered at Red lobster. And in 2019, only six people attended their underwater divorce. And that is the record for the world's largest underwater wedding. **Thomas** (01:12:59:12 - 01:13:05:08): And I hope they watched out to make sure that Howard wasn't there on their their wedding night. **Chip** (01:13:05:08 - 01:13:06:04): Just creeping. **Thomas** (01:13:06:04 - 01:13:08:09): In, just creeping in the room, watching people. **Chip** (01:13:08:10 - 01:13:09:15): Alleyway. **Thomas** (01:13:09:17 - 01:13:16:07): Dude. Well, that's wild, man. That's a huge underwater wedding. What a what a weird, wild endeavor. **Chip** (01:13:16:08 - 01:13:18:14): It really is. Huzzah to them. **Thomas** (01:13:18:16 - 01:13:20:01): Has all of them. Congrats. **Chip** (01:13:20:03 - 01:13:22:00): What do you got, Thomas? What's what's your record? **Thomas** (01:13:22:02 - 01:13:27:20): It starts with a question chip. How many swimming pools did your house have growing up? **Chip** (01:13:27:22 - 01:13:29:20): What? Zero. **Thomas** (01:13:29:21 - 01:13:45:03): That's very quaint. Yes. Keeping that in mind, I want you. What? What an average family has pool wise. I want you to guess how many pools it took to be crowned with the Guinness World Record for most swimming pools in a single resort. **Chip** (01:13:45:05 - 01:13:47:11): In a single resort. **Thomas** (01:13:47:13 - 01:13:54:13): How many individual swimming pools does this one world record winning resort have? **Chip** (01:13:54:15 - 01:13:57:22): I'm going to say ten. **Thomas** (01:13:58:00 - 01:14:29:23): We're a little shy, champ. That's a great guess. We're really shy, chip. It's 643. Pool six. Four three. What the Lexis Hibiscus port Dickson has 643 swimming pools, and each one meets Guinness's minimum size requirements and chip, each villa has its own private pool. Wow, this is not a resort. This is a water park. They got a little too serious about having rooms in it. **Chip** (01:14:29:23 - 01:14:32:08): It really did. Yes. **Thomas** (01:14:32:10 - 01:14:58:21): I do the, Lexus high sixes port Dickson. That's a mouthful, buddy. Where is this? It's in Malaysia. Okay, so it holds the record for most swimming pools with 643. Each exceeding the minimum size of 1.5m by two meters. Wow. The Guinness officials had to go verify every single one of the 643 pools, make sure it met the requirements. Right. If you spent just 30 minutes in each pool, it would take you over 13 full days nonstop. No sleeping to swim, swimming every pool in the resort. You would be just just a prune, a little raisin chip. **Chip** (01:15:13:23 - 01:15:14:04): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:15:14:04 - 01:15:32:09): You would. Port Dickson is beloved Malaysian beach destination known as PD locally. Okay, the Lexus Hibiscus was built to be the undisputed jewel of the coastline. They apparently decided most luxurious and most pools are essentially the same goal. **Chip** (01:15:32:10 - 01:15:32:21): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:15:32:23 - 01:15:40:01): Go for it. And that's it, man. That's the the record for the most pools in any resort. **Chip** (01:15:40:03 - 01:15:42:04): 600 plus. That's crazy. **Thomas** (01:15:42:04 - 01:16:10:00): That's it for the good book. Good for you. Malaysia. Just a reminder. Trouble in Paradise hotline is open. You can leave us a voicemail at (310) 845-6038. Thanks so much for hanging out with us. We really love that you do it. We love doing this show. We can't wait to make some announcements about some tropical trips we're going on, that you will be invited on as well soon. But this has been the summer podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. Until next time, stay burnt. Front desk. **Chip** (01:16:19:14 - 01:16:25:04): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. There are four Easter eggs up here in various places around my room. **Thomas** (01:16:25:04 - 01:16:26:20): Mr. Chantry, once again. **Chip** (01:16:26:20 - 01:16:33:02): You know what that means. Fiona only has found 11 eggs. That's pathetic, Mr. Chantry. **Thomas** (01:16:33:02 - 01:16:36:16): Again, you cannot make the maid do an Easter egg hunt in your hotel room.