The Brady Bunch In Hawaii: Tiki Curse, Greg’s Wipeout & Vincent Price 😂🌴 | Sunburnt Podcast Ep. 42

**Thomas** (00:00:00:01 - 00:00:24:17): What up Burnt Ones. This is the sunburnt podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. We are currently, as you're seeing this in Hawaii, having the time of our life. To my right, as always, is the world's best stand up comedian. You know him from Tires on Netflix and his stand up special Move closer. It's Philadelphia's own chip chantry. **Chip** (00:00:24:19 - 00:00:35:07): And over here to my left is Emmy award winning writer and producer. He is such a comedic gunslinger. He only has saloon doors in his home. Mr. Thomas O'Brien. **Thomas** (00:00:35:08 - 00:00:36:20): It's incredibly drafty. **Chip** (00:00:36:21 - 00:00:38:09): It really is cold this time of year. **Thomas** (00:00:38:10 - 00:00:40:00): It's energy inefficient. **Chip** (00:00:40:00 - 00:00:40:16): Yeah, to. **Thomas** (00:00:40:16 - 00:00:46:00): A point where it's almost illegal, right, with Los Angeles's, energy efficiency codes. **Chip** (00:00:46:01 - 00:00:46:15): It's not practical. **Thomas** (00:00:46:16 - 00:00:52:04): Between my front saloon door and my back door is a noted, coyote. **Chip** (00:00:52:04 - 00:00:56:17): Crossing. And I hope that's the last time I ever hear about your back saloon door. **Thomas** (00:00:56:19 - 00:01:01:23): I'm. I'm not going to stop talking about it. I had it put in at great expense. **Chip** (00:01:02:00 - 00:01:03:14): Speaking of back saloon. **Thomas** (00:01:03:14 - 00:01:04:20): Doors, **Chip** (00:01:04:22 - 00:01:12:03): We are on the back saloon door side of our trip to Hawaii. **Thomas** (00:01:12:04 - 00:01:17:08): We're in Hawaii right now. Not as we're filming, but when this comes out, this. **Chip** (00:01:17:08 - 00:01:19:01): Is a little bit of Hollywood. **Thomas** (00:01:19:03 - 00:01:40:04): We're doing a little bit of a recap for you early on in the podcast. We looked at the three episode arc where The Brady Bunch went to Hawaii. And we really got into it. It was, so much fun, but it was spread out over three episodes. So we're kind of condensing it down and people ask, could it be in one spot? Well, now it can. So we're going to we're going to hit you with the best of episodes one, two and three Brady Bunch in Hawaii. There's got to be no fat on this brisket. It's going to be clean trimmed meat. **Chip** (00:01:54:12 - 00:01:58:21): Yes. This episode, I hope, will be called clean with trimmed. **Thomas** (00:01:58:21 - 00:02:29:03): Mean cleaned. Trimmed. Made. Maybe we'll do something a little more telling that it's a Brady Bunch in Hawaii. Sure. Spectacular. This is. This is the big daddy. We're putting them all together. So on the other side of this, open, you're going to be welcomed into episode one of Brady's and Hawaii. You're going to be right there in that living room when Mike comes home, and spends a good deal of time poking his nose around the house. Like a very slow start to it episode. **Chip** (00:02:31:11 - 00:02:33:04): It really is just looking for people. **Thomas** (00:02:33:04 - 00:02:46:06): And that just surprises his family that they're going on a vacation they had no idea about. But, thanks so much. At this point in time, Chip Chantry thinks you're in Paradise. Has happened. It was a tremendous success. **Chip** (00:02:46:10 - 00:02:49:12): What a huge success I can see in my crystal ball right now. **Thomas** (00:02:49:15 - 00:02:56:02): Absolutely sold out. Yeah. You're probably going to want to go ahead and get tickets for next year. **Chip** (00:02:56:06 - 00:02:57:10): Yeah. Starting now. **Thomas** (00:02:57:14 - 00:03:10:20): Starting now. I don't know if they're up yet, but they should be soon. Put a little reminder chip to Andrew's Thanksgiving in Paradise. A must a must do. It's a bucket list event for a lot of people. **Chip** (00:03:10:21 - 00:03:11:12): Yes it is. **Thomas** (00:03:11:13 - 00:03:29:06): You just got to get yourself to Hawaii to experience it, because there is nothing else like it on the planet. But, this is the sunbird podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. If those two things sound good to you, if they should go together in your mind, stay tuned. Front desk. **Chip** (00:03:29:08 - 00:03:34:20): Hi, this is Mr. Chandler. I want you to see if I can reserve three seats on the hotel shuttle. Absolutely. **Thomas** (00:03:34:21 - 00:03:36:07): What time are you headed to the airport? **Chip** (00:03:36:08 - 00:03:43:00): Oh, no. Airport. My two brothers and I need to return a cursed tiki doll to some ancient burial grounds that are guarded by Vincent Price. **Thomas** (00:03:43:01 - 00:03:51:09): I'm sure we'll have the Brady mobile pick you up at three. The internet's been going nuts. The views are through the roof. But we did get some feedback. **Chip** (00:03:51:13 - 00:03:54:03): And, what was the feedback? **Thomas** (00:03:54:05 - 00:04:03:03): In addition to, some very nice things being said, people felt like last episode might not been our strongest. **Chip** (00:04:03:04 - 00:04:04:06): Okay. **Thomas** (00:04:04:08 - 00:04:16:08): But even more people, wrote us messages to let us know that episode one of season four of The Brady Bunch not available for streaming. **Chip** (00:04:16:10 - 00:04:30:05): Okay, so I got so excited and angry. Last episode, cliffhanger episode I was talking. I made a reference to Thomas for those of you who did not listen or watch, and that's totally fine. **Thomas** (00:04:30:06 - 00:04:32:19): By all accounts, it was our worst episode. **Chip** (00:04:32:21 - 00:04:53:03): I made a reference to Vincent Price on The Brady Bunch in Hawaii, and you just froze me out. Like you're just like, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm like, again, are you a real boy? That came up in the 20th century? And and you literally said to me, I've never seen the Brady Bunch. Are you kidding me? I just, I again, like I don't like to shame people for their pop culture, lack of pop culture knowledge. It's like, I'm just I'm shocking how that missed you. Like, I guess maybe they just had a lot of hate in Oregon and they were just like, we're not showing it. **Thomas** (00:05:08:23 - 00:05:13:16): No, it's not that it wasn't on. It's not that I don't know about it, but like, did you, **Chip** (00:05:13:22 - 00:05:20:17): Did you, did you grow up in the wild, wild country cult? Is that is that what you're telling me? You know, in Oregon. **Thomas** (00:05:20:19 - 00:05:26:22): That actually, that actually was not far away from where I grew up. **Chip** (00:05:27:00 - 00:05:31:09): So that makes. That does make sense. Okay. All right, so, but it's all coming together. **Thomas** (00:05:31:09 - 00:05:42:01): Clarify this for me, Chip. Like, am I remembering it correctly? It was this episode that we watched from 1972. Was that the the year right about. **Chip** (00:05:42:01 - 00:05:43:14): It's it's somewhere right in that vicinity. **Thomas** (00:05:43:14 - 00:05:57:04): Yeah. Okay. So I was -11 in 1972. So I mean it's I don't think it's wild that I don't think it's wilder than the country I grew up in, that I didn't see it. **Chip** (00:05:57:06 - 00:06:13:13): I was also negative years old too. But it's yes, it just I guess it just was on reruns so much that you just couldn't avoid it. But that's right. That's neither here nor there. You know where it is, Thomas? It is. It's in Waikiki. It's literally in Hawaii. It's where that episode is that. **Thomas** (00:06:13:13 - 00:06:36:14): I mean, it's so it was so good. And we'll get to that a little bit later. But but I had so much fun watching it. I clearly can watch anything that has to do with Hawaii, but specifically Waikiki, where we're going for Chantry Thanksgiving, a Paradise. I have, all the time in the world to watch, discuss, and, spend time with, that type of content. Yup. **Chip** (00:06:37:05 - 00:06:40:06): Absolutely. I'm here for it. I'm here for all of that. **Thomas** (00:06:40:08 - 00:06:49:23): It is not available to stream. It is supposed to be on Paramount Plus. They have almost every other episode, but I. I asked ChatGPT and they said that, it's a rights issue. **Chip** (00:06:54:09 - 00:06:59:19): Spoiler alert. 50 years later. But is it because Don ho sang that song? **Thomas** (00:06:59:19 - 00:07:15:12): I would have to imagine after watching it, I think it's because Don ho sang and sang a song that they clear in perpetuity, or the performance wasn't cleared, or who knows, there's a bunch of, like, things that matter on TV in terms of clearance that somebody could have screwed up. **Chip** (00:07:15:14 - 00:07:28:18): You're Sherwood Schwartz, though. This is one of the biggest three episode arcs in the history of television. Yeah, and you can't you can't throw those guys a little bit of licensing money. I don't understand it. **Thomas** (00:07:28:19 - 00:07:50:18): Well, it it could be contractual, like, on some of the, you know, some of the, the shows that we've worked on, we've had licensing issues and, it depends on what's in there sometimes in the contract there, like the you're just buying it for ten years, and after ten years there's going to be an insane price if you want to wrap it for another ten years. Sure. And then it can take another step up ten years later or whatever. So we're 50 years past the fact at this point. And, somebody could have just been like, you know, I it's nice to have this show on here, but we don't we don't need this one if we have to. Like, if, I mean, we're not trying to buy Don Ho's grandchildren an even bigger beach house. **Chip** (00:08:08:10 - 00:08:33:04): Exactly. And in their defense, literally everyone in the Western Hemisphere besides you has seen this episode. That's true at all times. So we know the gist. The the Bradys go to Hawaii, they fight and they even do. I mean, obviously they even do, luckily, because they were smart enough back then. They did the recap at the beginning of episode two, which you haven't watched yet, which I'm so excited for you to do that. But they do. They do the recap, so you'll be able to see, what actually happened in episode one if you don't actually see it. But you and I are, we are not always above board. We do not paint inside the lines. Nope. We do not follow the letter of the law. That's all I'm going to say. And we figured out some ways to watch episode one, including Don Ho and Sam Capus, a little, unlicensed song and, they serenaded us. And it was a beautiful, beautiful thing. **Thomas** (00:08:59:20 - 00:09:05:15): They serenaded strangers that we're children. But we'll get to that in a follow up bet. **Chip** (00:09:05:20 - 00:09:08:18): While wearing the shortest of shorts. But we'll get into that later. **Thomas** (00:09:08:18 - 00:09:13:02): Yeah, and it was a romantic, titillating song, but we'll get into that later. **Chip** (00:09:13:03 - 00:09:24:19): Yes we will. Yeah, that's that's our cliffhanger for later on this episode. So stick around. Let's go to let's go to our sponsor. Go ahead Thomas. Short shorts by Hawaii. Okay. Good. **Thomas** (00:09:24:21 - 00:09:25:22): We love short shorts. **Chip** (00:09:25:22 - 00:09:46:02): So just to bring everybody up to speed. Thomas O'Brien. Is it? Maybe, again, we're getting older, so maybe this is not the weirdest thing. Wrong. Thomas O'Brien up until this week, has never seen an episode of The Brady Bunch. Not once I tell him to go watch the one specific episode. It doesn't exist on streaming. **Thomas** (00:09:46:02 - 00:10:12:19): You can't find it anywhere legitimately. We we looked into it. It looks like there's some clearance issues. So we, did some digging and while trying to find maybe, you know, just a workaround to find it, I came across some delightful videos on YouTube. Okay. The and one of them, I mean, it's it's one of my favorite things I've seen in a long time. Somebody I'm guessing. I'm guessing maybe a 12 year old. Somebody with that kind of editing skill sure had put up a portion of this television program where they go to Hawaii, and they had crudely laid in fart sound effects. Every time Alice did something. **Chip** (00:10:38:05 - 00:10:42:02): Oh, Thomas, I forgot to tell you, that's not edited. That's actually part of the series. **Thomas** (00:10:42:04 - 00:10:43:20): Oh, then I I'm. **Chip** (00:10:43:21 - 00:10:52:17): She really? All she does is is break wind. Yeah, it is, it's it's an ailment that she deals with throughout the, the entirety of the series. **Thomas** (00:10:52:17 - 00:11:04:23): All 4 or 5 seasons. Yeah. She made, that is that that is a tough person to repeatedly basically let live in your house. Like, if you have that affliction. No. But like, there's an. **Chip** (00:11:05:02 - 00:11:07:12): That's something I got. Gotta find this video of this kid. **Thomas** (00:11:07:13 - 00:11:24:22): I mean, just like, just just try and find it. It was on YouTube, but it's like it started off in the big, the big one where it's just like, I think because I was trying to just put it together by watching clips because we we laid this out there. People were looking forward to it. We'd got some messages, people were excited. So I'm trying to find this thing and it starts off hot. And I did. I had no context, but, you know, the portion where Alice walks out and Bobby was doing a hula and dropped his little doll, the TV. **Chip** (00:11:39:12 - 00:11:40:08): That he did. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:11:40:13 - 00:12:06:22): So, when she comes out and spins around and says there's not enough grass to fit in, but just, a thunderous fart rips through, winch, and then she bends over and picks up the doll. We get hit with another one, and then they're out there, Huling. And like, they just crudely have overdubbed, like somebody saying, like, let's smoke some weed and let's do that. These other. **Chip** (00:12:07:18 - 00:12:27:18): Things. All right, I have to. This is okay, because I'll be honest with you, I'm not the biggest fan of, of bathroom humor, but this is this is art here. Like, this is area. You're like, you're you're kind of. It's kind of like, the same way where it's like, I don't necessarily like sun dried tomatoes, but in this sandwich, it works. You know, like, that's. Yeah, I, I am seeking this out right now. **Thomas** (00:12:31:01 - 00:12:38:05): It it was it was the greatest video since Bozo dubbed over. Yeah. The viral hit from I think you should leave. **Chip** (00:12:38:09 - 00:12:39:20): Yes. **Thomas** (00:12:39:22 - 00:12:59:05): But but anyways, we, we had a number of people write and say they couldn't find it. If you want to find it, I think you go, you just go to Google, type in the name of the episode. Yeah. And one will pop up that has a very distorted audio track. So I don't know what The Brady Bunch sounds like yet. **Chip** (00:12:59:07 - 00:13:00:03): Yes. **Thomas** (00:13:00:05 - 00:13:00:20): As far as I. **Chip** (00:13:00:23 - 00:13:02:05): Sped up, yeah. **Thomas** (00:13:02:07 - 00:13:20:17): It's like chipmunk voice. It's sped up or something. Yeah. So I have that version of it and then I have flatulence and let's go smoke some weed version of it. So it's quite an interesting, show that I have put together in my mind, but I, I put together some notes on what we did watch. And, Chip, I would love for you to, like, kind of, you know, just just respond to some of these, guide me through, let me know what's going on. **Chip** (00:13:30:14 - 00:13:47:15): Absolutely. Yeah. So, and so this is the episode this is the first episode of the fourth season. I think it is. Yeah, it's that, as we all know, The Brady Bunch goes to Hawaii. It's a three parter. We're going to be talking about the next two episodes in coming episodes for this podcast. But, so this is just the first episode. Go ahead. **Thomas** (00:13:48:06 - 00:13:59:18): Yeah. So, scene one starts off and this I'm just such a nerd for this stuff. This got me so excited. It's like, it's a little cheat at first of all. It's a slow burn. This opening scene, he. **Chip** (00:13:59:21 - 00:14:03:00): Even even when it's sped up, even when it's sped up, it's even. **Thomas** (00:14:03:00 - 00:14:24:15): Sped up. It's a slow burn. Yeah. The dad walks in. What's dad's name? Mike. So Mike. Mike Brady walks in, he's got a gift wrapped up and he is just so slowly walking into the house. It takes I mean, and this is the start of the episode. Like, normally you need to hook them, but I guess there is some subtle intrigue to somebody walking in with a gift. **Chip** (00:14:24:17 - 00:14:26:03): Look, it's the 70s, baby. **Thomas** (00:14:26:03 - 00:14:36:22): Yeah, check it out. What's going on? And, and then, basically, the wife comes in, she ignores him, sees the gift, goes straight for it. That's a gag. **Chip** (00:14:37:01 - 00:14:38:19): She's a money grubber. Yes, yes. **Thomas** (00:14:38:19 - 00:15:02:02): Yeah she is. She is into material things over her husband. Hilarious. Yes. The kids come down and it's just like they open up this gift and find out that there's tickets to Hawaii, and they are out of nowhere unexpectedly. Going to Hawaii as a family. It's it's one of those things. It's just like, as an adult, you don't really get that. No, you don't really get that. There's just like, not a lot of instances where it's just like, oh, it's summertime. We have nothing to do. And then just two days later we're going to be in Waikiki. Yeah, I, I got so fired up, like I could feel the adrenaline of these kids getting this gift and the whole family getting to go. And they bring Alice to which I think is fantastic. **Chip** (00:15:23:12 - 00:15:38:09): You know what that's called? Thomas, you just experienced your first case of the Brady Bumps the brave. You get the the Brady bumps. You get that feeling. It's like goosebumps. But just for the excitement of defacto being a part of the Brady family. It's it's a great feeling Thomas. Go ahead. **Thomas** (00:15:38:13 - 00:15:42:04): Also maybe maybe another term for sunburn I think. **Chip** (00:15:42:04 - 00:15:43:04): So the Brady bumps. **Thomas** (00:15:43:04 - 00:15:54:05): The Brady bumps. So the kids go nuts. And I'm just like yeah, this makes sense to me. I can feel it. I'm getting excited to go to Hawaii with them. Chip. **Chip** (00:15:54:07 - 00:15:55:02): Yes. **Thomas** (00:15:55:04 - 00:16:15:11): So, we we get to scene two. They are on the plane. And there was a couple of things I wrote down. A couple of the jokes that we, we got in there. We don't see them on the plane. I believe they're just kind of on there. We hear them talking. And, you know, you see the island from the air. It looks exactly that way today. Obviously, things share the same. But this is where I get, like, the first taste of some of the humor in The Brady Bunch. And it is the minute later. **Chip** (00:16:28:12 - 00:16:29:08): Lay it on me, baby. **Thomas** (00:16:29:10 - 00:16:37:06): It's it's the little brother going, hey, what's that big lump down there? And his big brother goes, That's Diamond Head, you dumb head. **Chip** (00:16:43:07 - 00:16:45:14): Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (00:16:45:16 - 00:16:54:13): It is just replacing a word with dumb, letting his little brother know he is dumb. Am I crazy or is that so mean? **Chip** (00:16:54:15 - 00:17:21:12): It's, It's it's horrific. It's what brothers do to each other. It is a terrible. Yeah. It's terrible. Speaking of terrible things, that same line, I believe his name is Mike looking Lynde. The the actor who played Bobby Brady. Years later, he was in a made for TV movie called What's That Big Lump Down There? And it was a much more serious take about his, about his health, of the man he was playing on. **Thomas** (00:17:21:12 - 00:17:42:01): A very special episode. What's that big lump down there? Yeah. Do you remember that? Do you remember? I don't remember what show? I think it was a TLC show. I think we may have seen clips of it, when we were working on that NBC show. Yeah, but it's, it's a man who had the had the world's largest testicle. **Chip** (00:17:42:03 - 00:17:43:01): Yes. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:17:43:01 - 00:17:47:20): And he he kind of had to wear a, hooded sweatshirt upside down. **Chip** (00:17:47:20 - 00:17:52:22): Yes. Just just covering it like he was like it was pregnant. **Thomas** (00:17:53:00 - 00:18:03:06): I would, it's he it happened because of a terrible situation, but what a what a visual and what a wide spectrum of the human experience exists out there. **Chip** (00:18:03:08 - 00:18:05:21): It's it was horrific. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:18:05:23 - 00:18:17:23): Also, Cindy, it's just like they really are, like, nailing who these characters are. They? It's just such a shorthand. Cindy says, how is this big plane supposed to land on that small island? **Chip** (00:18:18:01 - 00:18:18:15): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:18:18:17 - 00:18:28:06): And it's a perspective gag. She is an innocent little child, and she is earnestly wondering, like she is understand how high above the island she is. How's this thing supposed to land down there? **Chip** (00:18:28:09 - 00:18:31:08): You know, she's seven. She doesn't have that concrete awareness yet. **Thomas** (00:18:31:08 - 00:18:36:05): No, no. So, yeah, I mean, there's a lot of characters they really need to nail who these people are. **Chip** (00:18:36:07 - 00:18:50:15): Yes. For four seasons in, they're doing it for you. The first time watcher. Like we all know, she's an idiot. You know what I mean? Yeah, but they're still just hammering it home for you. And that's what I appreciate about her, which was. **Thomas** (00:18:50:17 - 00:19:04:20): So getting off the airplane. And this is 1972. This is, 53 years ago, right? Yeah. If my math is correct, they get off the plane and there are these beautiful, what I would assume are local women. **Chip** (00:19:04:21 - 00:19:05:05): Yes. **Thomas** (00:19:05:05 - 00:19:16:16): Wearing skirts and bikini tops. And they have to kiss every single passenger that gets off the plane on the face and give them, flower leg. **Chip** (00:19:16:18 - 00:19:17:12): Yes. **Thomas** (00:19:17:14 - 00:19:21:13): How? I mean, that is insane, chip. **Chip** (00:19:21:15 - 00:19:31:20): Okay. Which is so funny because you've never seen The Brady Bunch. Yeah, I've never been to Hawaii. That's just something that I assume happens in Hawaii when you get off a plane. **Thomas** (00:19:31:22 - 00:19:36:03): It used to. I think it used to. Okay. And the airport leaves a lot. **Chip** (00:19:36:05 - 00:19:38:01): You have never experienced that, though. **Thomas** (00:19:38:03 - 00:19:49:02): No, no, no, no, it's like, I, I think I think they've kind of done away with it. Everybody gets a away anyways. It's so great. Like the the highest end resorts on Waikiki. Okay. **Chip** (00:19:49:02 - 00:19:51:05): Have you ever had one. Have you ever worn away. **Thomas** (00:19:51:11 - 00:20:06:05): Yeah. Yeah. They they gave. Well they give the guys like kind of these, it looks like, like a knot of some kind or it's like a string with a necklace of, like, these hard, wooden beads. Almost like I was like a. **Chip** (00:20:06:05 - 00:20:07:09): Puka shell situation. **Thomas** (00:20:07:13 - 00:20:23:06): It's it's. Yeah. I mean, you could you could equate it to something like that, but they're brown and they're dark. I don't know what they're called. And then, you know, kind of. They give the women the flower leis. But I just the first time I went, they did that. And after, after that, it was like kind of Covid. And I think it just kind of fell by the wayside. Sure. But, but I didn't think that was funny. And then I get, like a little bit more of, you know, Mike gets kissed by the lady. Alice is like, oh, I'm going to tell the missus, and he, you know. And then Greg tries to get a little overly aggressive with really just. **Chip** (00:20:42:04 - 00:20:42:13): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:20:42:14 - 00:20:52:14): The girl I, I don't remember what happened. I just remember the dad being like, hey, knock it off, Greg. Yeah. And I was like, oh, Greg's horny. I get who Greg is. And then there. **Chip** (00:20:52:14 - 00:20:55:22): Really are laying out the characters well, for you. I'm happy about that. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:20:55:23 - 00:21:02:20): And as we go on, like, Greg doesn't have a lot to say other than, like, I want to see some bikinis. **Chip** (00:21:03:00 - 00:21:08:06): But he says that a lot. It is it is problematic for at 2025. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:21:08:10 - 00:21:26:08): But it's like, I mean, you want to see some bikini? Sure. Like, I don't know, it's like it's you're at the beach, bro. Yeah. It's like, who are you telling this to? It's like, I want to I want to feel some sand. I want to feel something. It's like you're at the beach. Look at bikini. So you don't need to keep to. But it's how he relates to other men. I think. **Chip** (00:21:29:13 - 00:21:32:08): Yeah, I think that's that's the. That's the only thing he can. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:21:32:08 - 00:21:34:01): I think he wants people to know. **Chip** (00:21:34:02 - 00:21:37:04): As the shirts people, you know. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:21:37:06 - 00:22:00:08): Okay. So the next scene we go to the construction site, we find out that one of the workers at this company, I assuming he he's a construction worker of some kind, and he's been tasked with taking the Bradys and his family, like being their chauffeur and tour guide for why they're in town. He also appears to be about the same age as their high school son. **Chip** (00:22:00:10 - 00:22:03:19): Yes. Yeah. He's still. He's just a teen boy in Hawaii. **Thomas** (00:22:03:21 - 00:22:18:07): It's it's a little. It's a little confusing. Like, what's his job? How he got there, why the construction guy is taking these people around in a construction, company car. **Chip** (00:22:18:09 - 00:22:29:14): Like, which is a station wagon, which is the same exact station wagon as the Brady Bunch drives in California, too, which is a little weird. Like the same color. I believe in everything. So. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:22:29:16 - 00:22:43:08): Yeah. That's it. They only do one brand. Yeah, he drops them off at the Sheraton Waikiki, which is only a couple hotels down from where? Chip Chantry is. Thanksgiving Paradise is going to be. **Chip** (00:22:43:10 - 00:22:47:19): How exciting is that? And is that so? That's still there. That is still. Oh, yeah. Functioning hotel. **Thomas** (00:22:47:22 - 00:23:04:06): Okay. Big time. It's very it's very close. And like, I still even in the drop off, it's kind of not something that you're going to see a lot if you're not staying there. But there are some places, you know, some restaurants and parts of Waikiki that you will walk by. It looks very much the same. **Chip** (00:23:04:08 - 00:23:04:19): That's correct. **Thomas** (00:23:04:19 - 00:23:07:09): And then they they drop their stuff off, and now they're in Hawaii. They come back in they're all in Hawaii garb. And yes, this guy is going to take him sightseeing. **Chip** (00:23:17:02 - 00:23:22:11): This is this is the magic. This is the part that I was like, here's where Thomas locks in. **Thomas** (00:23:22:13 - 00:23:39:22): Oh no, I'm totally I'm totally locked in. It's just and it's also like sometimes old TV shows have like a very gross, muddy feel to me. Oh, of course, I just don't. I just don't like the way they look like there's something in them that feels stale, that feels old. It feels, I don't know, it's just offputting to me. Which is why I haven't watched a lot of old shows like The Brady Bunch or anything. Like, I just didn't like it. Yeah, and but dude, the colors were pretty true. It was very bright, vibrant. It was feeling good. And they went all over Hawaii. They went to this big look out that looks out over, all of kind of Honolulu. It's a it's a beautiful place. I actually haven't been there before, but I've seen lots of videos of people, you know, it's a state park. You can drive up there, and it's just a great place to see the whole city. They do like that. It's in. There's a local name for it in the Hawaiian language. And the the tour guide tries to tell the Bradys, and, they can't say it, and they're not really trying to say it, and they're making, they're making light of how difficult it is to say. And then dad just yells out through the clutter, what do you say? Why don't we just call it Lookout Point? Yeah. And everybody goes nuts, including the people at home on the laugh track. **Chip** (00:24:43:22 - 00:24:49:08): And it's just like, hey, we're the white people here. We're in charge. This is our world. **Thomas** (00:24:49:13 - 00:24:53:02): Yeah, this. It's like contextualize to make sense for me. **Chip** (00:24:53:04 - 00:24:57:19): Exactly. Yeah. I can't feel like an outsider at all. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:24:57:21 - 00:25:12:22): The next stop, they go to, King Kamehameha is, statue in front of the, the royal palace there. They take some pictures. Cindy makes the joke. I know why he became the king of this whole place. Look how big is. **Chip** (00:25:13:00 - 00:25:17:23): Which is. Okay. That's his her second perspective joke of the episode. **Thomas** (00:25:18:01 - 00:25:22:12): She only because she's so small, she only sees things in relation to size. **Chip** (00:25:22:14 - 00:25:28:14): She doesn't understand how size works. Wow. Yeah. Cindy. **Thomas** (00:25:28:14 - 00:25:48:09): Cindy, Cindy. Then they go to Pearl Harbor where the tour guide gives them a bunch of interesting facts about the, a bunch of interesting facts about the naval base, and yet all the things there until they get on the big ship exhibit. And then I, I'm guessing there was a meeting where they're just like, we need we need. This is serious. This is American troops that got lost. We need a white guy kind of to probably walk us through this. And then all of a sudden, when they're on the monument, dad is an expert and knows why it was built a certain way and is like walking them around to the different plaques and different areas on the ship, as if he has lived and worked on this ship for the last 15 years. All of a sudden he knows everything about this ship. Yeah, I thought that was a pretty. **Chip** (00:26:16:13 - 00:26:28:04): They really put it in the hands there. Like, we can't have some Polynesian guy talking about this. We need a closeted gay man to tell America what happened at Pearl Harbor. **Thomas** (00:26:28:05 - 00:26:31:00): Oh, was was he considered closeted back then? **Chip** (00:26:31:00 - 00:26:33:15): Yes. Yeah. Yeah, he was, as far as I understand. **Thomas** (00:26:33:15 - 00:26:37:05): Yeah, well, I'm good for him. I seems like a very caring individual. **Chip** (00:26:37:05 - 00:26:40:02): He's a great guy. By all accounts. Great guy. Yes. **Thomas** (00:26:40:02 - 00:26:47:06): He has all the facts on the ship and then the tour guide gives us a little backstory on the local mythology that. **Chip** (00:26:47:06 - 00:26:48:14): Yes. **Thomas** (00:26:48:16 - 00:27:08:10): One of the chiefs had warned them when they were building this base. Don't do it. This is where, like, the shark Queen or something. The shark god. The shark queen god, this is her place. And if you build stuff here, it's going to be cursed. And they had a couple of hiccups during the building and that everything was fine there till Pearl Harbor. Which is why a lot of the locals think it's curse. So we are setting the stage that there is some spiritual things potentially going on there that we as mere mortals might not understand. **Chip** (00:27:18:13 - 00:27:21:05): The owls are not what they seem. Exactly. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:27:21:05 - 00:27:25:20): And he says he doesn't believe it. But a lot of old timers around there do believe it. **Chip** (00:27:25:22 - 00:27:26:11): Yes. **Thomas** (00:27:26:11 - 00:27:35:01): So this is when we get to the tiki doll you were talking about. Is that a tiki doll? Is that like the way you say it? **Chip** (00:27:35:02 - 00:27:37:13): They call it taboo. That's what they. That's what they were. **Thomas** (00:27:37:13 - 00:28:03:17): They keep calling it taboo. Okay, so taboo I can, I can I can roll with that. Yeah. So, the a construction workers dig up taboo. It's this little tiki doll. The boys go running around, find the doll. I believe this is also. Yeah. So. So the boys go running off, they find the doll. Greg is kind of talking to the guide, and, he wants to see some bikinis, I believe. **Chip** (00:28:03:18 - 00:28:08:01): Boy, does he ever. Like, we're in a construction site that right now I need to bring this up. **Thomas** (00:28:08:07 - 00:28:22:22): Yeah, and the guy's just kind of like. Oh, yeah. Totally. Dude, bikinis. You know what? I'm judging a surfing competition. Why don't you come by and Greg's like, I surf. Can I join it? The guy's like, you're in, buddy. So now Greg's got a big surfing competition. **Chip** (00:28:22:22 - 00:28:26:18): He's just inserting himself into everything on this island. **Thomas** (00:28:26:20 - 00:28:48:15): Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's he's in it. And, the next scene, they're back in the hotel room, just the boys, and they're talking, and Greg's like, I'm going to be in the surf competition. They're like, you're going to get slaughtered. These guys grew up surfing. They're really good at surfing. And this is where Greg kind of takes a stand for, a white man's ability to be a great surfer. **Chip** (00:28:48:20 - 00:28:50:07): Of course. **Thomas** (00:28:50:09 - 00:29:00:18): He's like, no, no, no, there's great surfers all over the world. I can be great. And they're just like, his brother's like, yeah, we know there's great surfers over the world. We just don't think you're one of them. **Chip** (00:29:00:20 - 00:29:07:19): Real slam these these brothers just high jinks, man. They. It's like the Three Stooges here are real slam. **Thomas** (00:29:07:21 - 00:29:16:02): But, Greg get so upset that he throws a pillow, it hits a wall covering and almost crushes Bobby. **Chip** (00:29:16:04 - 00:29:19:06): Yeah, the boy's skull is almost toast. **Thomas** (00:29:19:08 - 00:29:21:18): Bad luck. But Bobby thinks it's good luck. **Chip** (00:29:21:23 - 00:29:23:05): I mean, because he didn't get. **Thomas** (00:29:23:05 - 00:29:24:13): His side of the coin. **Chip** (00:29:24:19 - 00:29:25:02): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:29:25:02 - 00:29:32:09): So next. Next scene. We've talked about it before. This is the, This is the ukulele scene where Darko. **Chip** (00:29:32:11 - 00:29:33:03): Yes. **Thomas** (00:29:33:03 - 00:29:37:23): Comes out and, Bobby's chest cranking on the ukulele. Not not not. **Chip** (00:29:38:00 - 00:29:39:09): Well, no. **Thomas** (00:29:39:11 - 00:29:57:13): Cindy is like, you know, this is bad news. You stink. Basically. And this is when two grown handsome Hawaiian men walk up, basically asked to see the ukulele and then play these two strangers. A very, very. **Chip** (00:29:57:16 - 00:30:00:19): These two strange children in a parking lot. **Thomas** (00:30:00:21 - 00:30:02:09): A romantic Hawaiian song. **Chip** (00:30:02:10 - 00:30:05:16): It's my favorite pre stranger danger moment. **Thomas** (00:30:05:18 - 00:30:15:15): It really caught me off guard. Is like, how did this, like, get through on. Like, they could have made it so much, simpler. **Chip** (00:30:15:17 - 00:30:18:04): They could have an adult present, you know, they can. **Thomas** (00:30:18:04 - 00:30:37:22): Have an adult present or like, it turns out Bobby knows who this guy is. After he plays the song, he's like, oh, you're Don ho. And I was just like, if he would have seen, like, a famous ukulele player walking by and just been like, hey, you're Don ho, could you show me how to play this thing? You know how much less creepy that is than the guy walking up? **Chip** (00:30:37:22 - 00:30:43:15): Yeah, or like Jared from subway sees a kid trying to make a sandwich, and he's like, yeah, I got this. **Thomas** (00:30:43:19 - 00:30:50:16): And he gets behind him and does like the I'm teaching you how to golf thing. He's like, right. And you're going to spread it here. **Chip** (00:30:50:16 - 00:30:56:22): Yeah. And then he takes Italian herb. He takes a phone call. It's such screaming at his manager. **Thomas** (00:30:57:00 - 00:31:01:11): I don't know. I thought that was just like a really guitar situation. **Chip** (00:31:01:15 - 00:31:11:14): And it's like, how do you feel if you're Don ho? Like, I guess it's like, hey, put me in the shortest shorts you can find and let me sing a love song to two strange children in a parking lot. **Thomas** (00:31:11:16 - 00:31:33:02): It's no good. So after that, seeing the parents go see Don ho at the hotel. Mom makes fun of dad for being horny again. She's like you were looking at the hula girls, and, I just can't imagine how tired that that old shtick would get of her just constantly being like, you're looking at other girls. I don't like it. **Chip** (00:31:33:23 - 00:31:44:15): It's five seasons worth of that. Just so you know, just heads up five seasons of that type of banter. That level of banter is what you're getting for five years on American television. **Thomas** (00:31:44:17 - 00:31:49:20): It's wild. So now now we're going to skip ahead to, to the actual surfing competition. **Chip** (00:31:49:23 - 00:31:51:03): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:31:51:05 - 00:31:55:18): Okay. So, Oh, and by the way, Bobby crushes his ukulele. **Chip** (00:31:55:20 - 00:31:58:04): Yes. Another sign of bad luck. **Thomas** (00:31:58:04 - 00:32:01:06): Another sign of bad luck. But he still thinks this thing's good luck. **Chip** (00:32:01:07 - 00:32:03:19): Because he's a dumb head like Peter called him. **Thomas** (00:32:03:21 - 00:32:17:02): A dumb head. So basically, the the women go out, they take a hula class. Alice has found the taboo. She's holding on to it for Bobby, and she gets paralyzed doing this. Who looks. **Chip** (00:32:17:04 - 00:32:18:10): Like. Yes, like yes. **Thomas** (00:32:18:10 - 00:32:34:02): She just out of nowhere can't move. And by the way, the the hula instructor on that thing doesn't get to say one word. No, but doesn't get to say one word. But might be one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen on TV. It's a shockingly attractive person. **Chip** (00:32:34:04 - 00:32:35:09): Absolutely. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:32:35:09 - 00:32:41:21): We get to the surfing competition. Bobby has his, taboo back. **Chip** (00:32:41:22 - 00:32:43:02): He's got the taboo back. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:32:43:02 - 00:33:00:22): And he gives it to Greg for good luck in the surfing competition. And this is where Greg goes out there and actually kind of rips, man. Yeah, he is catching some good waves. Like he's not quite to the level where some of the other guys was. There's some real impressive stuff going on. But Greg is holding his own. **Chip** (00:33:00:22 - 00:33:02:03): He really is. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:33:02:05 - 00:33:15:05): Until he is. No. And he takes a big splash. And after, like everything we've seen so far, he goes under. And my favorite commercial break a cliffhanger. **Chip** (00:33:15:07 - 00:33:17:03): Yes. He goes underneath. **Thomas** (00:33:17:03 - 00:33:20:16): The water and we literally go to commercial thinking he might be dead. **Chip** (00:33:20:18 - 00:33:24:20): He's drowning. There is only five Brady children left. **Thomas** (00:33:24:22 - 00:33:26:05): Yeah. And we covered. What a. **Chip** (00:33:26:11 - 00:33:29:18): What a heightened what a heightened moment right there. **Thomas** (00:33:29:18 - 00:33:45:18): Dude. It's completely unhinged. And we come back, we find out that he, you know, he pops his head up finally. And then that's the end of the episode. Yeah, but, what a cliffhanger. He almost died, and I can't wait to watch the rest of them. **Chip** (00:33:45:20 - 00:34:04:21): I I'm so excited for you to see the rest of this, just to get to that reference, but just, just. We're in Hawaii, so, Yeah. So we'll talk. We'll talk episode two next episode, break it down. And I think there's going to be some moments for you where you gonna be pretty excited about. And they are actually on Paramount+ or wherever watching it, so you can actually watch it in its entirety. **Thomas** (00:34:04:21 - 00:34:12:13): I can't wait to see it. It's got intended network back. What a what a fascinating episode. Episode one was just. **Chip** (00:34:12:15 - 00:34:20:22): Breaking down some of the best I'm going to say. Art of the mid 1900s. **Thomas** (00:34:21:00 - 00:34:35:22): You know what I think might even be better than episode one? Was that episode two, and it's coming out to right now. Yeah, I think you'll be able to smell it at home too. If you just want to get a wonderful bottle of Hawaiian Tropic Chip. **Chip** (00:34:36:04 - 00:34:59:14): And this is not a product placement, they're not our sponsor yet. But, I'm going to get some Hawaiian Tropic. Just just, put it on, like, dab it under the nose, even just a little bit. Just a just a sniff it in getting that get that vibe every day. Just. We're sitting on the beach, buddy. We're sipping a, we're sipping a mai tai, watching those, watching those hula girls like Greg Brady does. We're going to get to that. **Thomas** (00:35:01:08 - 00:35:15:05): Yeah we are we are going to talk about, season four, episode two of The Brady Bunch today. It's the second in their trilogy of Hawaii episodes. I've never seen them before. Chip has seen them, apparently 1 to 200 times H. **Chip** (00:35:15:07 - 00:35:16:06): Yes. **Thomas** (00:35:16:08 - 00:35:21:20): But it's informed a lot of how he views Hawaii. And just watching it has been so much fun for me. **Chip** (00:35:21:22 - 00:35:36:10): Yeah. My, by the way, I was having dinner with my wife last night, as I do, as I do. Oh, yeah, I was actually, this is not product placement either. This is not a commercial. But I was actually having dinner at your favorite restaurant in Philadelphia. Oh, barrels. **Thomas** (00:35:36:14 - 00:35:37:21): Wow. **Chip** (00:35:37:22 - 00:35:58:12): Kim and I were barrels. We were the only ones in the restaurant until the very end when. When another couple of ladies came in, great Italian restaurant in Philly. Massive takeout. Just like crazy takeout that they do. There's this little dining room in the back that you've been to, Thomas. Yeah, that, like, nobody really knows about or just forgets that it's there. And you can just go bring a bottle to a wine, have some great Italian food. And we sat there for the entire meal. Besides the last four minutes, completely on our own, we had the place to ourselves and it's great food. And, so we were sitting there having, And that's the place where you told us your story of the last time you were in Hawaii. A great a great tale. And, the, the topic came up that we were doing The Brady Bunch and that you've never seen it. Kim was aghast that you had never seen this. And she even admits she's like, I'm. I know I'm not the biggest pop culture person, her being her. And she's like, but when I heard that Thomas didn't watch, didn't she didn't see The Brady Bunch like she was just jaw, jaw dropped. But you know, hey, that's all right. You're getting up to speed. And I appreciate that about you. You're making life changes. You're taking strides in 2025, you're watching the Brady Bunch of 55 year old television series. And, we're coming up. So, so last episode, we talked about episode one when they were Hawaii bound. Mike. Mike got the, you know, of course he got the, the, you know, the job in Hawaii. They they flew the whole family out. And, they get to Hawaii, they find the little tiki doll, the taboo, if you will. And, some weird stuff starts happening to them, you know, there's some bad, some bad luck happening, culminating. Culminating with, the man Greg, him taking a vicious wipe out on a surfboard. **Thomas** (00:37:31:12 - 00:37:45:03): Yeah. I mean, like, let's jump into it. I got a couple of notes here, but. So we talked last week or last episode about, this Hawaii bound season four, episode one being completely unavailable. **Chip** (00:37:45:03 - 00:37:48:15): Yeah. Scrubbed. Scrubbed from the internet? **Thomas** (00:37:48:17 - 00:38:01:12): Yeah. It's, it's unavailable. So we had to watch, like, a very low quality kind of, you know, whatever version we could find. The sound was terrible. The visuals weren't much better. **Chip** (00:38:01:16 - 00:38:16:22): But this is the work that we do for you people out there in podcast land. We are doing the difficult work. We are searching for a back episode of The Brady Bunch sitting down and watching it. We are watching it till our fingers are to the bone. Go ahead. **Thomas** (00:38:17:00 - 00:38:35:00): It was not easy to find, but I will say that watching the recap of last episode at the beginning of this one on Paramount Plus, on a big TV with like, a nice picture, you truly see how harrowing that surfboard crash really was. It looks like he banged his noggin right on a rock. **Chip** (00:38:35:01 - 00:38:51:01): On some rocks. I know, that's the thing. I thought if it was just seaweed or rocks. But I always read it as rocks growing up, and that's. That's what I think it was. So, you know, he took a took a dive and so, by the way, if you if you're following along at home and you can't find episode one, it's like we found a little upset. But just watch episode two. They recap it pretty well. **Thomas** (00:38:54:23 - 00:39:01:18): I will say that episode, episode one had a lot more things that spoke to my heart in terms of being excited about Hawaii. **Chip** (00:39:01:20 - 00:39:01:23): And. **Thomas** (00:39:01:23 - 00:39:14:09): Really, yeah, it's got Don how it's got, beaches, it's got viewpoints, it's got, the Royal Palace, it's got a statue of King, Kamehameha. **Chip** (00:39:14:11 - 00:39:14:19): Yes. **Thomas** (00:39:15:01 - 00:39:36:10): It's it's really got a lot of things that you probably would see if you wanted to go there and sightsee. Now, this is 50 years later, but, boy, did Greg really take a heater to the head, it seems. Yeah. And, it may. I mean, it was a very, very unexpected ending to a very, you know, mild episode was just. We thought this kid was dead. Yeah, we pick up right where we left off. **Chip** (00:39:40:03 - 00:39:59:03): And as somebody who's never seen The Brady Bunch, there's not a lot of dead kid episodes. Like, let me just say that, like, maybe to maybe Tiger the dog goes missing. Somebody's sad because somebody, said they were. They they had a lisp or, you know, there's a funny mix up. This is not the type of show, Thomas, where people die. I mean, it's not it just doesn't. It just doesn't happen. So this was very dramatic for this series. **Thomas** (00:40:07:06 - 00:40:08:22): Like it's a very special episode. **Chip** (00:40:08:23 - 00:40:32:19): We're four seasons in and the eldest child, the firstborn, might be dead in the water, literally. And by the way, that narrator just watch episode two. The narrator at the beginning of that, like, he's he has nothing to do with the series. You never hear a narrator on any other episode. This is not some sort of Ron Howard in Arrested Development thing. So it's not like it's. But they brought in some big gun with some deep 60s early 70s voice and just voiced the hell out of that just to make it a little actor like that deep voice. **Thomas** (00:40:47:14 - 00:41:02:11): Yeah. No, I think it's the guy. I'm willing to bet it's the same one I have, like, seen the opening to Dragnet, and I'm willing to bet it, you know, it's like a similar tone. If not like, if you can't get that guy, this is the guy you go to. Yeah. To replicate that sound. **Chip** (00:41:02:13 - 00:41:07:14): There's a guy, too, and it wasn't him. But there is that guy, the in a world guy. **Thomas** (00:41:07:16 - 00:41:07:21): Oh. **Chip** (00:41:07:21 - 00:41:14:23): Yeah. Yeah, the movie guy. And I want to say his name. It was because in the 70s his name was like, it's something like Percy, something. Gina. You know who I'm talking about? **Thomas** (00:41:15:01 - 00:41:15:16): Yeah, literally. **Chip** (00:41:15:16 - 00:41:33:08): No, Percy something. But he's the guy who I think did the jaws, my favorite movie, the the jaws theme and the just, like, you know, to be afraid to be in the water, you know, like that. But that's how that's how dramatic this episode beginning was with Greg just falling off that surf surfboard. **Thomas** (00:41:33:10 - 00:41:57:01): Yeah. No, he he took it and, in, in that, you know, higher quality what is clearly just old school standard definition, but much better than what we saw before. Yes. It really looks like he took it. So, like, I got a heightened sense of drama watching that back, and then, we, we quickly cut to the family dealing with Greg being, you know, potentially have just died. **Chip** (00:41:57:07 - 00:41:57:15): Yes. **Thomas** (00:41:57:15 - 00:42:08:10): And we get him to the beach. And every time this young man shows a sign of being concussed, like, seriously injured, that's when we get that laugh track, baby. **Chip** (00:42:08:12 - 00:42:15:01): To laugh track comes out hard. Jesse's. Yeah. He's like, oh, no, I can walk to the car. And then he starts walking towards the water. **Thomas** (00:42:15:01 - 00:42:19:08): He walked right into the ocean. Big laugh, high jinks. **Chip** (00:42:19:10 - 00:42:46:23): High jinks ensues. And it's it was amazing how that I, I would love to do a deep dive into the history of canned laughter. And because it's there are certain times where it's just thrown in completely inappropriately, actually. And on the, on the other end of that. So The Brady Bunch give you a quick lesson. It went from, I want to say like 1969 until about 74, and then it was over. And then the Bradys did like they got in that whole vibe of the variety show, you know, it's like The Brady Variety Hour, you know, where they oh, song and dance stuff, where all of the kids came back except for, I want to say, Jan. She was like, Now I'm a serious actress, I'm out of here. And they got a new Jan. And they did that for a while. **Thomas** (00:43:05:08 - 00:43:09:09): And then it was like a reality show, like, like, hosted. **Chip** (00:43:09:09 - 00:43:12:12): No, like a like a Sonny and Cher. Like. **Thomas** (00:43:12:14 - 00:43:14:11): Oh. Okay. So they were, they were like. **Chip** (00:43:14:12 - 00:43:32:01): They're singing and dancing on stage. Yeah. Doing skits. Yeah. Where? And, like, doing the disco version of, Proud to be an American or whatever, you know, like that type of, you know, like, let's try to bring in the, I'm sure Star Wars. Maybe if they made it that far, I can't remember they made it 77 or not. But like it was a short lived thing. But they did a couple of episodes and you know, they, they they did song dance, a lot of, lamé and a lot of, you know, sequins and just, you know, that type of thing. So they did that. But then in the 80s, they, I think it was like a couple of maybe like TV specials they did where I was like the Brady Brides, I think were like all three daughters, of course, got married at the same time, I think, or whatever that was, you know, and then in the late 80s, they brought, brought it back, I think it was called The Bradys. And it was like a one hour, like, I guess you would call it a dramedy, like maybe like soap opera, kind of like, but but dramatic, but shot on film, like the first one was shot of film. Yeah, but no laugh. Track. And so and they started out by and I'm going to admit it is a watch that I watch every Christmas. It's from like 87, 88, 89, a very Brady Christmas, a Very Brady Christmas. **Thomas** (00:44:34:08 - 00:44:35:19): Sounds nice, sounds light. **Chip** (00:44:35:20 - 00:45:15:20): Right. And so they're now empty nesters, but all of the kids, they decide to fly all the kids back for Christmas. And now most of them are married. Some of them have kids, and they bring Alice back. That's a whole thing. Alice comes back to, to be their indentured servant. And then, but it's it's a I at some point we will watch this episode because you can see it's on some sort of streaming thing, but it's like, it's like a two hour TV movie or an hour and a half TV movie and it's shot without a laugh track, but they still try to do it's the same writing. **Thomas** (00:45:15:21 - 00:45:16:13): Yeah. **Chip** (00:45:16:15 - 00:45:36:17): And like, you know about that, like, Tom, like you've been a TV writer and producer for years. Like. Yeah, there's pacing things and ways you write jokes and certain jokes work on certain shows, but certainly. Yeah, you know, and it's just so it's just like Carol trying to figure out what Mike got her for Christmas, being zany, being vapid, and saying a cute little thing. But there's just no laugh track. So it just seems like a crazed old lady with her husband just dealing with her early onset dementia. Like, I mean, that's that's what the first 20 minutes of of A Very Brady Christmas is. And it's beautiful. **Thomas** (00:45:52:12 - 00:46:07:16): I mean, that that really does sound. Why. Yeah. You gotta you gotta treat that show completely different than another one I have you ever seen. It was a clip that went around a while ago. It's when the Big Bang Theory was happening. Okay. But like, they, they somebody stripped out the laugh track. **Chip** (00:46:07:18 - 00:46:08:20): Yes, I think I saw that. **Thomas** (00:46:08:20 - 00:46:13:19): Yeah, yeah. And it's, it's it's truly like, what a what are we even watching here. **Chip** (00:46:13:23 - 00:46:29:17): And that's what we watch for a good part of our childhoods. Like just, it's just like, a taser, like like a, like a bear in a cage, like, now, now, like, get the whip out. Like, this is when you laugh. This is it. **Thomas** (00:46:29:19 - 00:46:52:04): Yeah, yeah. No, it's, it's it's a mechanism for getting away with things that are paced, like jokes and sound like jokes. But boy, might not really be jokes. And, every once in a while on, on, you know, some of the shows we used to do, you knew it was heading in a bad direction. If, somebody from the, the network was like. So we're thinking about before this goes to air, maybe we we sweeten it with a laugh track. **Chip** (00:46:57:06 - 00:46:58:03): Yeah, that is a. **Thomas** (00:46:58:04 - 00:47:05:04): Sweeten it and audio sweetening with that, that, that that is the kiss of death. You're like wow, there really is nothing here. **Chip** (00:47:05:08 - 00:47:06:21): That you have. No. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:47:06:23 - 00:47:25:22): Yeah. So it would be, it would be. But this one is like especially aggressive because it's not in a studio audience like, you know, there's nobody there laughing. And I don't know if the regular Brady Bunch was on a set where they did have people. **Chip** (00:47:25:22 - 00:47:30:00): It was on a set, but I'm 99% sure there was no studio audience. It was just. **Thomas** (00:47:30:02 - 00:47:50:13): Yeah. And they just piped in. They just piped in the laughs. Unbelievable. A different time. But yeah, it is. It's funny. It's like I can see it with my daughter. Like, we, we were watching a stand up special the other day. Bill Burr's new special. Yeah. And, just when she hears people clapping and laughing, she claps and laughs. She's not watching the TV. She has no idea what's going on. It's just, like, built into us at, like, a human level. **Chip** (00:47:56:21 - 00:47:59:11): Yeah, it's Pavlov, man. Just. **Thomas** (00:47:59:11 - 00:48:03:12): Yeah, we're little. We're little fun monkeys with jobs, dude. **Chip** (00:48:03:12 - 00:48:11:09): Yeah. And we all, yeah, we all enjoy the same thing at the same exact moment. Mind control, baby, that's how they're getting us. **Thomas** (00:48:11:11 - 00:48:17:23): That's it. It does help. I mean, you've been in a club. What's up? When rooms are hot, they're going to laugh at anything. Yeah. **Chip** (00:48:18:01 - 00:48:40:11): Apps. It's because it is that group. Think of like just you get 200 strangers in a room, but then they. But then they connect somehow and they're all together laughing at the same thing. You can say anything. And they laugh and it's just it's it really. It really is crazy how that can now and then there's also the, the opposite effect where like, they will decidedly not laugh at anything. Like it just gets awkward. So then they even if something is funny, they just like boom, you know. **Thomas** (00:48:46:10 - 00:48:47:03): Oh yeah. **Chip** (00:48:47:08 - 00:48:56:07): I've seen those moments too. It's just it's just where, like, something just goes weird and like, they just decide that, like, yeah, we we don't do this anymore. **Thomas** (00:48:56:09 - 00:49:05:02): Yeah. But here hearing that laughter that's what keeps you and socially, that it's okay to laugh. And they're, they're bringing that to your house. **Chip** (00:49:05:04 - 00:49:14:10): Especially when it is a concussed teenage boy. Yeah. Well, in a foreign, not a foreign, but a distant land. **Thomas** (00:49:14:12 - 00:49:36:17): That is something else that like, it's like when things could be because the TV people, they're always worried about things turning audience members off. Right? And like, they could have, like, I can very distinctly see a meeting where somebody was just like, hey, listen, when Greg hits his head, it's kind of out of nowhere. The episode's been lighthearted, has been fun. **Chip** (00:49:36:19 - 00:49:56:04): They there's a chance that they maybe got some some hate mail that week. Jeremy, before the next episode goes out, like, there could even be a situation where they're like, oh my God, my daughter was traumatized because she thinks Greg is dead. And then they have they have the next episode and they're like, we need to throw a laugh in here. Yeah. Even though they've already shot it, it's already been edited, but they're like, he might die. So, hey, let's let's giggle a little bit. **Thomas** (00:50:03:22 - 00:50:17:02): Yeah. And it's it's a laugh track. Or like, you know, they use music in their show actually pretty well I think or in the wackiest version of it. And they used a couple of these in the show too is sound effects like you can. **Chip** (00:50:17:03 - 00:50:18:13): Oh yeah. **Thomas** (00:50:18:15 - 00:50:28:15): You can put a cartoonish sound effect over something horrific, and it just feels like you're probably watching a cartoon. **Chip** (00:50:28:17 - 00:50:29:04): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:50:29:06 - 00:50:40:23): It takes away that real sting of it and, I yeah, I can't imagine this is a show that, like, you know, features. Yeah. I'm guessing Cindy's like five six. And these things probably. **Chip** (00:50:40:23 - 00:50:42:06): Somewhere around there. Yeah, that's when she said. **Thomas** (00:50:42:09 - 00:50:44:22): It's a it's a show. It's a show for the whole family. **Chip** (00:50:44:23 - 00:50:45:18): Oh it's a children's. **Thomas** (00:50:45:18 - 00:51:03:16): Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're trying to like, they're trying to soften some of that stuff. So I get it. But just like watching back, knowing what we know about like, traumatic head injuries, it is. And they're also like, are very careful to be like, oh my gosh, this injury is so bad. But you can only see it from back here. **Chip** (00:51:03:18 - 00:51:06:05): Right? Right. Yeah. They're just like oh yeah. **Thomas** (00:51:06:08 - 00:51:16:18): Yeah. They're just like you're you're seeing him face straight at camera. And then people are behind him looking like, oh, that looks really rough. But you know what? It didn't knock out of him. Chip. **Chip** (00:51:16:20 - 00:51:18:13): I have an idea. Go ahead. **Thomas** (00:51:18:15 - 00:51:21:20): It didn't knock the horniness out of this young man. **Chip** (00:51:21:21 - 00:51:31:19): No, his horniness is still at an 11. He just doesn't take a break. His hormones are just coursing through his veins. **Thomas** (00:51:31:21 - 00:51:32:07): Yeah. **Chip** (00:51:32:10 - 00:51:49:20): Not even. It's like the next scene. Like we're going to take him to the doctor at the hotel. He's still wet. And just like, you know, cold and shaken and concussed. I think it's the next scene where he's like, I want to go look at some chicks. Like, yeah, no, just he bounces back pretty quickly. **Thomas** (00:51:50:01 - 00:51:56:15): And he's bikini hunting. Yeah. And I think it's genetic because his dad is horny as well. **Chip** (00:51:56:17 - 00:52:00:07): Always funny. Always. Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (00:52:00:09 - 00:52:02:03): Always be horny. **Chip** (00:52:02:05 - 00:52:04:21): Yep. So. **Thomas** (00:52:04:23 - 00:52:11:12): So they're leaving the beach. Alice puts Jan on duty for, like, cleaning up the area. Make sure we have everything. **Chip** (00:52:11:14 - 00:52:21:22): Here's the thing about Jan. Jan just gets it on constantly. That's. That's her. That's her M.O.. She is just. She is the put upon sister. The middle well, child. **Thomas** (00:52:22:00 - 00:52:34:09): I was looking at that. She has really no other function in any of the episodes. And her big story point is the maid whose job it is to clean up says, Jan, why don't you do my job? **Chip** (00:52:34:11 - 00:52:35:22): Yes. Yep. **Thomas** (00:52:36:00 - 00:53:11:00): Yeah, that sounds like all right. But she finds the taboo. And she, she brings it back and to, to keep that, that thread going and. Yeah. Greg, Greg, the second he gets out of the doctor's office, goes back to the beach where he is lying to a young woman saying he's a local and weaseling his way into getting his hands on her, his grubby, horny hands on her to get some suntan lotion going and his brother show up, spoil his fun. And then it somehow ends up with all three boys oiling up this strange young or the stranger to them. This young lady. **Chip** (00:53:19:06 - 00:53:19:13): Yep. **Thomas** (00:53:19:19 - 00:53:26:19): And, the young lady is loving it. She says, wow, this is island hospitality. That's assault brother. **Chip** (00:53:27:00 - 00:53:31:17): It is. It was 100% is assault. And here's something interesting, Thomas. **Thomas** (00:53:31:19 - 00:53:32:03): Yep. **Chip** (00:53:32:03 - 00:53:50:10): You brought that up. I heard you talk about that. And, that scene was not in the. I think it's Pluto TV or whatever. The streamer that I watch, you see Greg on the beach, you see him looking at the young blond gal in the bikini, and then it just cuts to the next scene. **Thomas** (00:53:50:12 - 00:53:50:20): Wow. **Chip** (00:53:50:20 - 00:54:11:05): So they cut that one out because it is three young boys slathering sunscreen on, a girl in a bikini who did not necessarily ask for it. So but I did go back and watch, so I, I found it on YouTube. I found just that scene on on YouTube or somewhere and got to watch all the gory details. **Thomas** (00:54:11:07 - 00:54:28:19): It was a little, a little shocking to see, but also, not too separated from some of the disturbing scenes on, I don't know if you're watching it or not, but this season's White Lotus has some familial uncomfortable, you know, low, shiny handsy scenes. **Chip** (00:54:28:22 - 00:54:31:14): Okay. I'm not I've not seen it yet. I've not watched it yet, so. No, **Thomas** (00:54:31:19 - 00:54:37:21): I think the Bradys, in a strange way, might be a precursor to, some of the most uncomfortable television ever made. **Chip** (00:54:38:00 - 00:54:43:03): So you're saying White Lotus is a direct descendant of the Brady Bunch you're putting on? **Thomas** (00:54:43:03 - 00:54:49:03): It's. Yeah, it's basically the Brady Bunch without a laugh track. **Chip** (00:54:49:05 - 00:54:54:07): See? I'm sold now. I'm watching it now I'm 100% watching. **Thomas** (00:54:54:09 - 00:55:06:13): Perfect. So to keep it moving, the boys are getting horny. Yeah. With that team, and the girls head over to a picnic at a different beach. **Chip** (00:55:06:17 - 00:55:07:07): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:55:07:09 - 00:55:12:13): This is where we see the taboo. As power rears its head once again. **Chip** (00:55:12:13 - 00:55:13:11): Do it's magic. **Thomas** (00:55:13:13 - 00:55:27:17): And, I just one of the biggest spiders that I've ever seen. I think it's a tarantula. Crawls into Jan's bag where the taboo is, and now she's bringing a tarantula along for the ride for the rest of the day. **Chip** (00:55:27:19 - 00:55:35:00): And I just love how I think it's like, seven times somebody like. Jan, can I have something for you from your bag? **Thomas** (00:55:35:03 - 00:55:35:23): Yeah. **Chip** (00:55:36:01 - 00:55:51:03): And she goes to reach in, and then somebody else just cuts Jan off to there like, no, I got it. Here's my camera. Here's my handkerchief, here's whatever. But they still go to her and she just digs into that bag every time and just misses that tarantula. **Thomas** (00:55:51:05 - 00:56:00:11): It's so funny because I saw one of these clips. I saw a clip of the first time, like, it's, they're looking through a viewfinder and somebody needs to wipe the lens, right? **Chip** (00:56:00:11 - 00:56:00:18): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:56:00:21 - 00:56:18:06): So I saw that clip out of context, and I thought it was just like, oh, this girl's useless because they're like, can somebody get me a tissue? And she's like, yeah, I'll get you a tissue. And then the mom's like, nevermind, I've got a tissue. Yep, knock it off, Jan. And I was just like, oh, they're showing that this. I was like, are they showing that this girl's unappreciated, that she's feeling bad? Like, I didn't know that I didn't see the spider. And now that I see it, I'm just like, okay. Yeah, she is she is useless. But thank goodness in this case, because she'd be touching a spider if she, had some functionality here. **Chip** (00:56:32:16 - 00:57:01:08): And this is something, as somebody who's worked in television for years, Thomas, you know this, that they were actually a lot more forgiving in the early 70s. There certain things you can't say nowadays, one of them being the F-word. They would just say and hold your ears, listeners, but they would just say it just throughout the entire series, at least once an episode got off, Jan and I would just say that to her and just be like, she's like, hey, I have I brought the rolls in for dinner and they're like, golf Jan. And then they, And she runs out crying. That's that's like. And then cue laugh track. That's how that's how most episodes end. Like they're like, oh, Bobby won the soapbox derby. Everybody's like, yeah. And Jan's like, congratulations Bobby. And they just all turn in unison and just yell golf Jan! And then she just quietly walks out off scene and, and and you just hear huge laugh track. Cue the applause and credits. **Thomas** (00:57:29:20 - 00:57:33:07): And you say this actress didn't want to come back for the subsequent. **Chip** (00:57:33:07 - 00:57:53:00): Yeah, you wonder why. And by the way, I will say, I think it's usually a different girl. I think the guys have always come back. There's never been like a fake Peter or a fake whatever. But, Jan didn't come back for that. Cindy didn't come back for the Very Brady Christmas in like, that iteration. And then I think there was something where Marsha didn't come back for. So. Yeah. So the gals all had their own moment of like, we're out. **Thomas** (00:57:56:12 - 00:57:58:12): Just the guys are having more fun in this show. **Chip** (00:57:58:12 - 00:58:01:12): At least they really I yes. Yeah, they really are. **Thomas** (00:58:01:14 - 00:58:11:03): It's like the the boys are out there chest filling up. Taurus. And the girls are having spider picnics with mom and the maid. **Chip** (00:58:11:05 - 00:58:27:14): Yeah. Spot spider picnics. That that's the episode. That's the title. This episode, by the way. Spider. Great. By the way, spider picnics, my favorite by far, is, spider pictures is my favorite Wilco album. **Thomas** (00:58:27:16 - 00:58:52:10): It's very relatable. So I did a little bit of research. And tarantula, I mean, this is horse tarantulas are not native at all to Hawaii. They there's no population there. And it's actually even illegal to bring one to Hawaii. So this was was all stage. They don't have like a dangerous or intimidating spider population at all. It's one of the nicest things there are. However, you know a handful of black widows okay. And and that's kind of it. **Chip** (00:59:00:05 - 00:59:11:11): What's the wave? Okay, I thought I okay, here's my ignorance, because I spent a lot of time as a child watching the Brady Bunch, not studying science. Yeah. What's a what is a black widow? Is that. That's not a spider? **Thomas** (00:59:11:13 - 00:59:17:09): No. Black widow is a spider. It is a black black widow. It has, like, a little red hourglass on the Tomtom. **Chip** (00:59:17:09 - 00:59:19:14): Oh, right. Right, right. Yeah, but it is a spider, though, right? **Thomas** (00:59:19:14 - 00:59:39:20): No, it's a spider. Yeah. It's poisonous. And I was surprised to see that they were there, but, like, especially in dry areas, there has been like a, a breed of black widow that has taken hold and, and got some kind of resilience on the islands there. Yeah, but other than that, it's like there's not there's not a lot of things that'll get you there. There's not a lot of poisonous stuff there, as you know. They had to invent, a situation where the biggest, most visual spider in the Western hemisphere ended up in Chan's backpack, and it's never really addressed. But, like, they're just. You don't need to worry if you're coming with us to Hawaii, that is very low chance. You're going to find a tarantula in your bag. **Chip** (01:00:04:18 - 01:00:22:18): No tarantulas in your bags. So just put that in the pro column of why you're coming to. Why this Thanksgiving? Getting away from your family. Getting away from the cold, going to Hawaii, hanging out with some new friends, some old friends and, no spiders, no tarantulas, at least. **Thomas** (01:00:22:20 - 01:00:27:23): So the the middle child ends up with the taboo. Yeah, he gets it from Japan and. **Chip** (01:00:28:00 - 01:00:29:08): He kind of. **Thomas** (01:00:29:10 - 01:00:30:20): Falls asleep with it. **Chip** (01:00:30:20 - 01:00:31:04): Yep. **Thomas** (01:00:31:09 - 01:00:37:17): Wakes up tarantula on his chest. This thing. This thing is bringing some bad mojo. **Chip** (01:00:37:20 - 01:00:56:22): Yeah, yeah, he's, here's here's a joke. You won't get this. Tarantulas more cursed than Oliver C Thomas. If you watched the series, that would have just killed any. We could put a laugh track in right now, but we don't need it because everybody listening or watching at home knows if they're a Brady fan. They know that that's hilarious. But yes, a lot of mileage out of these eight little legs, a lot of mine. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:01:02:12 - 01:01:25:09): Yeah. And then and we're coming to the end of the spider arc. Yeah. Sad end up. Yeah. They end up knocking it off of his chest. Dad comes in, is like, hey, we just need to put this thing outside and very calmly gets a little bag, scoots the spider in there, and, you know, I think he even makes mention, like, it's a good thing your mother's not here. She would hate. **Chip** (01:01:26:00 - 01:01:27:03): I hate spiders. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:01:27:05 - 01:01:47:01): And then he takes the bag with the spider into his room, and his wife thinks that it's a jewelry, gift? She asks, like, has been dropping hints that she would like, And, Yeah. I mean, she's just very not so subtly kind of demanding. Like, this trip is great, but get me some. **Chip** (01:01:47:01 - 01:01:49:04): I need some more. Some jewels. **Thomas** (01:01:49:04 - 01:01:52:21): Yeah, because you know how women love jewelry. **Chip** (01:01:52:22 - 01:01:54:10): Women be shopping. **Thomas** (01:01:54:12 - 01:01:55:14): Women be shopping. **Chip** (01:01:55:19 - 01:01:56:15): Shopping. **Thomas** (01:01:56:17 - 01:02:05:16): So women like jewelry, dudes horny. Yeah. That's kind of like the basic ammo for these character arcs. **Chip** (01:02:05:18 - 01:02:11:16): Yeah. Those were the original lyrics to the theme song. They did have to change them because of the censors. **Thomas** (01:02:11:18 - 01:02:15:11): When man be shopping this guy is horny. **Chip** (01:02:15:11 - 01:02:16:00): Yep. **Thomas** (01:02:16:02 - 01:02:20:03): Yeah. And he use it to make three boys of his own. **Chip** (01:02:20:05 - 01:02:21:19): They got a lot of kids. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:02:21:21 - 01:02:27:07): Yeah, they, they're making babies out there. Maybe he is horny. I don't know, it makes sense. There's a lot of kids around. **Chip** (01:02:27:09 - 01:02:28:23): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:02:29:01 - 01:02:39:22): But anyways, after after being like, it's a good thing your your mother isn't here. He brings it in there, and then instead of admitting he didn't get her jewelry, he just lets her open it. **Chip** (01:02:40:03 - 01:02:43:06): Yeah. All right, here you go. **Thomas** (01:02:43:08 - 01:02:45:14): Big spider in the room. **Chip** (01:02:45:16 - 01:02:47:00): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:02:47:01 - 01:02:49:10): That was not the pendant. She was hoping for a trip. **Chip** (01:02:49:11 - 01:03:10:05): No, no, no, it was not. And, I I a little comeuppance, I think. I think he took some pride in doing that. He got a little, like, shut up about the coral bracelet. I'm gonna get you the goddamn pendant. Here's a goddamn spider. Go to sleep. Shut up. Carol. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:03:10:07 - 01:03:11:14): So this is, **Chip** (01:03:11:16 - 01:03:32:21): And I feel I feel bad for her because it's like, obviously those are the writers, but, like, it's just the more you watch it, the more you realize that it's just like this cute back and forth banter that this husband and wife has had for five seasons is it's it is some like I watched it so much as a kid. I was like, oh, they have a great relationship and it's just the most tedious banter I've this watching it again as an adult, as somebody who's been, you know, writing for TV, it's just like, oh, this is horrific. And it's the same. It's the same thing over and over again, too. And they just watch A Very Brady Christmas, which happens 20 years later, to know that they're alone in the house and they're still talking like this is exhausting. **Thomas** (01:04:01:06 - 01:04:15:01): The whole thing is super exhausting, and we're about to get to the point where we we once again just have a big spotlight showing on the fact that girls are just there because they happen to be there. **Chip** (01:04:15:01 - 01:04:15:17): Absolutely. **Thomas** (01:04:15:17 - 01:04:32:13): And this is a man's world. This is a boys trip. I, I know for like it just in my mind I can see it. Somebody is like, we've got to get these girls involved somehow in the plot. Yeah. In the plot of What's Going On, they went on a picnic. They picked up a spider, they brought it back. The boys have to deal with that. And now for the next leg of the episode. How are we going to get them involved? Yeah, well, we're going to have Greg go to his sisters and say, I have a plan. They found out that this the taboo was cursed. A local man gave them some, some background on it. Thanks to the guide saying you need to go talk to this guy if you believe this stuff is true. He says the taboo is very powerful. It's magical. Anybody who touches it is going to have troubles unless they put it back in its rightful spot next to the, tomb of the Dead King or the dead, chief? Yeah, that it was, like, meant to protect. So he told them like this, this sacred haunted place to go to, and they need to do it, or else they were going to be cursed forever. Basically. Yeah. So in order to get the girls involved, Greg goes and says, hey, sisters. **Chip** (01:05:34:09 - 01:05:35:18): We. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:05:35:20 - 01:05:53:09): We need. Yeah. Very train ish way of, starting a conversation. We need you to cover for us while we go do this thing. And they're like, okay. And that's their involvement in the big caper that we're moving on to. **Chip** (01:05:53:09 - 01:05:58:00): And they're just done. That is that's the last time you see them that upset. **Thomas** (01:05:58:01 - 01:06:05:18): And it's also funny because like, we need you to cover for us. We need you to tell them that we're just out sightseeing. **Chip** (01:06:05:23 - 01:06:06:22): **Thomas** (01:06:07:00 - 01:06:09:11): And it's like, you could have just told him that you're out sightseeing. **Chip** (01:06:09:12 - 01:06:10:02): Sightseeing? Yeah. **Thomas** (01:06:10:03 - 01:06:13:05): If that's an option, just do that. You don't need to bring him into this. Yeah. **Chip** (01:06:13:10 - 01:06:20:06): I'm so glad that these, that these three boys did not grow up to join the CIA. They just be telling everybody, just all their plans. **Thomas** (01:06:20:06 - 01:06:25:22): Yeah, yeah. And unnecessary. Like, loose lips, sinking ships. **Chip** (01:06:25:22 - 01:06:26:08): Yep. **Thomas** (01:06:26:08 - 01:06:44:11): And really not getting him any better result. But, this sent them on their way. They get to the other side of the island. They find this area at one point in time, they get worried about, like, we're deep in the woods. Like, how are we going to find our way back? They decide to use Bobby's popcorn is like, Hansel and Gretel. Breadcrumbs situation. And then they, they finally find an ominous cave, and they wander inside it. And as they're wandering inside, it, music is getting more and more intense, and you see a man following them in. **Chip** (01:07:00:16 - 01:07:20:19): Like, the back of a man, like just a lumbering like manos hands of fate, you know, lumbering, ominous giant. And like, he even, like, walks into camera frame like when you're not expecting him. Just the back of him. And it is. It is. It's pretty horrifying. **Thomas** (01:07:20:21 - 01:07:30:10): It's pretty horrifying. And then they they take special care. I think, to make sure that you notice that this man's clothes are not clean. **Chip** (01:07:30:12 - 01:07:31:10): No. **Thomas** (01:07:31:12 - 01:07:48:07): So this is kind of where we end the episode. It's a cliffhanger. We don't know. At least I don't know. I haven't seen it before. What's going to happen? Is this guy friendly? Is he, murderous psychopath? I definitely I think it appeared to be a white man. **Chip** (01:07:48:08 - 01:07:48:17): Yes. **Thomas** (01:07:48:22 - 01:08:07:06): Like, just, it kind of. And I'm just like, is this, an unhoused person? Is this, a crazy person? Is this somebody that got lost in the forest and it's just looking for people? But he is definitely following them silently into a cave that we're not sure they're going to be able to get out of. **Chip** (01:08:07:09 - 01:08:31:17): Yeah. And, and by the way, you finally do see his face. And for any Hollywood fans, you realize that it is the face of Mr. Vincent Price, famed horror star of House of wax and, House on Haunted Hill. All the houses once, you know, and of course, he went on to do you know what? Do you know what Vincent Price is, probably biggest fame in the 80s was, I. **Thomas** (01:08:31:18 - 01:08:36:17): I always know him because Bill Hader did an impression of, Yes. On SNL. **Chip** (01:08:36:17 - 01:08:53:12): Yeah, well, he's also the guy that does the scary vocals in Michael Jackson's Thriller like that. Oh. That's a great sounds of hell like that. You know, like that's Vincent Price doing that. And then the laugh at that. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, that is Vincent Price, the man in the cave. **Thomas** (01:08:53:14 - 01:08:54:22): That's a creepy dude I like. **Chip** (01:08:54:22 - 01:09:01:05): That is a creepy, creepy dude who, you know, of of horror fame. So you're just like. **Thomas** (01:09:01:07 - 01:09:08:16): No, but we know now, knowing what we know now, who's a creepier dude, Michael Jackson or Vincent Price? **Chip** (01:09:08:18 - 01:09:27:03): I mean, for following three boys into a cave, knowing what we know now. Yeah. I'm going to take my chance with the tarantulas. With the with the, the the tarantulas that are native to Hawaii just all over the place. I would take my chances with those. **Thomas** (01:09:27:05 - 01:09:29:07): Okay. Oh, over Michael or Vincent? **Chip** (01:09:29:12 - 01:09:31:10): Over Michael or Vincent. Yeah. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:09:31:10 - 01:09:40:23): But I do think at this point in time, being followed into a cave by Vincent Price or Michael Jackson is three young boys. I got to take price. **Chip** (01:09:41:01 - 01:09:48:06): Yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah, because price is a little more lumbering, too. You know, Jackson was agile up until the end. **Thomas** (01:09:48:08 - 01:09:52:20): Oh, yeah. No, I mean, he's he's a dancer. Yeah. That's, that's reflexes. **Chip** (01:09:52:20 - 01:10:10:14): He's moonwalking through those things. He's yellin. He's he could do that thing where, like, they're in one cave. Right. But he just like, leans over. It's at a 45 degree angle and then just comes right back, like, leans over, grabs Bobby, picks him up. You know, like, the man's versatile. **Thomas** (01:10:10:16 - 01:10:18:11): And I mean, for the love of God, the kicks chat. Yeah. You're telling me this guy wasn't doing any kind of martial arts training? The kicks. **Chip** (01:10:18:11 - 01:10:28:01): The kicks were just incredible. Yeah. So this is, Yeah. No, this is, Yeah. You'd have to take Vincent Price. You'd have. **Thomas** (01:10:28:01 - 01:10:30:02): To. Yeah. The the price is right. **Chip** (01:10:30:04 - 01:10:34:09): The the price is certainly right. Absolutely. **Thomas** (01:10:34:11 - 01:10:49:01): Yeah. Okay. So that that brings some good context. I did not know this is a famous person. I didn't know he is a horror icon. Yeah, I didn't know that. Just his face at this time sets an expectation, sets a tone. VP is in the house. I think. **Chip** (01:10:49:04 - 01:11:16:18): Better watch about being a nine year old child in 1972 ish. Whenever it's 72, 73, whatever. Yeah. And just first of all, knowing last week, last Friday was Greg almost died on a surfboard. You finally you finally recover from that. And and then you're like, all right, everything's smooth sailing again. Because literally this is one of the most bubblegum shows on Earth. And then all of a sudden, at the end, not only Greg, but the other two boys are in the cave, and now Vincent Price is going to murder them. **Thomas** (01:11:24:17 - 01:11:30:05): I think this would have, like, terrible ramifications on the tourism industry in general in Hawaii, for sure. **Chip** (01:11:30:06 - 01:11:31:00): Like, yeah. **Thomas** (01:11:31:02 - 01:12:01:04): You you see all these bad things happening. Yeah. It's a curse to land. The locals don't believe in it, but we're seeing this is clearly a cursed object. But the one thing that general population, especially at that time, seem to have is everybody was too horny to care because there's bikinis on those beaches. You're going to, you know, you've got hula instructors that are absolute 12.5. **Chip** (01:12:01:06 - 01:12:01:23): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:12:02:01 - 01:12:12:22): And you're going to get kiss on the cheek by, beautiful, local woman wearing a bikini in a skirt the second you get off that plane. Right. **Chip** (01:12:13:00 - 01:12:14:03): **Thomas** (01:12:14:04 - 01:12:18:11): It's it's a lot for a perv to love. **Chip** (01:12:18:11 - 01:12:31:16): Exactly. So then it's like. Like you hear those stories about, they brought in mongoose to get rid of the snakes. Yeah, it's like they. They got Vincent Price to get rid of the perps. You know, like, that's kind of what? **Thomas** (01:12:31:18 - 01:12:33:05): He drove the pervs out of Hawaii. **Chip** (01:12:33:06 - 01:12:49:05): He drove the person out of Hawaii. But now Hawaii is overrun by Vincent prices. A lot of Vincent Price is just running around going. Yes. Well, I do love this pokéball, you know, and it's, so. But there is a lot of charm to that. I. Yeah. Okay. If I do. **Thomas** (01:12:49:10 - 01:12:56:11): There's a lot of specificity to that. I don't know if it's charm boy. Chip. Episode two. What a deuce. **Chip** (01:12:56:11 - 01:13:25:09): I am all a Twitter right now. I am scared, I am frightened, I am on the edge of my seat. These three boys are in danger. I I'm I am beside myself. I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. The only. The only remedy for this ailment is to watch episode three. **Thomas** (01:13:25:11 - 01:13:35:21): And it's coming up right now. Yeah, it is a big episode. Yeah, it is the last episode in our Brady Bunch Hawaii trilogy. **Chip** (01:13:35:23 - 01:13:56:03): I mean, how legendary did we get the first ten episodes of this podcast? We just blew through the three episode arc of The Brady Bunch where they go to Hawaii just like we're going this November. It's bittersweet. I'm excited to jump into our final episode, but then it's going to it's it's going to be over. But we got a lot more things in there, right? That's right. But I'm I'm sad to be done with the Brady. **Thomas** (01:13:59:08 - 01:14:01:10): I'm sad to be done with the Bradys in Hawaii. **Chip** (01:14:01:10 - 01:14:04:02): In general though. You're not you're not over. **Thomas** (01:14:04:04 - 01:14:10:06): No no no no no no. But like I wish there was I wish there was more. If they still season, I'd watch the whole season. **Chip** (01:14:10:08 - 01:14:25:04): It still blows my mind. And this needs to be said. I made a reference couple of episodes to Vincent Price in the Tiki Cave with the boy, where he tied up the boys in the Brady Bunch episode and you're like, I have no idea what you're talking about. I've never seen The Brady Bunch, and it still just blew me away. So I was like, we got to watch that. Find the first three episode that the three episode arc of The Brady Bunch going to Hawaii. We watched it together the last two episodes. We uncovered those two episodes today, we're doing the last one, and, you are not a Brady Bunch fan, my friend. **Thomas** (01:14:40:08 - 01:14:45:05): Know I think it's just a time thing. It is a 50 year old television show. **Chip** (01:14:45:07 - 01:14:45:20): It really is. **Thomas** (01:14:45:20 - 01:14:59:03): And, you know, I'm living in a TikTok world. You got to keep it moving fast. You gotta keep it punchy. It's it's got. And things generally have to make sense, and we're just less pervy. **Chip** (01:14:59:05 - 01:15:02:22): Yes. A lot less pervy than The Brady Boys in this episode. **Thomas** (01:15:02:23 - 01:15:13:12): It's fun to see the horniness. It is just the casual horniness of just the. Apparently the American family in 1950 has been a hoot. **Chip** (01:15:13:14 - 01:15:36:16): Yes. Yeah. It's if if you don't like if you haven't watched the Brady Bunch episodes recently like you think very wholesome, very whatever. And like those were the first two seasons, like 6970. And then it just the groovy era gets in and everybody is just crazy, horny, just just just crazed. And it is the parents, the kids. Alice. It is it's it is shocking. It is shocking to watch. And, it was on full display, on the beaches of Waikiki in these episodes. **Thomas** (01:15:46:15 - 01:16:08:10): But it was so fun to spend time there. And, you know, we'll talk about about maybe some of the shortcomings of this last episode. Vincent Price, who you had to explain to me who that is, plays one of one of the most unhinged characters I've ever seen on a television show. **Chip** (01:16:08:12 - 01:16:09:19): Well, cast. **Thomas** (01:16:09:21 - 01:16:26:02): A well cast, but like this. Here's his character arc. And, like, what? You think he could do? What he might do. I mean, they just got you going up and down. You think he's like, oh, maybe he's not that bad. And they're like, maybe he's going to kill some kids in a cave. **Chip** (01:16:26:03 - 01:16:27:15): With a spear, a. **Thomas** (01:16:27:16 - 01:16:29:04): With a spear. **Chip** (01:16:29:06 - 01:16:35:08): Or just or just leave them for dead. That's, that's almost the scarier one. **Thomas** (01:16:35:10 - 01:16:38:06): Yeah. I mean, that's that's a tough way to go for sure. **Chip** (01:16:38:10 - 01:16:39:06): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:16:39:08 - 01:16:44:19): Yeah, that's a tough way to go. And I believe he actually threatens them with both of those things. **Chip** (01:16:44:19 - 01:17:02:02): Oh he 100% does. But then America is saved by the laugh track because once we go a little dark, then they just throw that laugh track on, we're like, he's not really going to kill him with a spear. And it's like, and everything's okay. **Thomas** (01:17:02:04 - 01:17:21:15): Absolutely. And I can't wait. We're going to have a dedicated chunk to talking about the Bradys. Yeah, but I want to talk to you about something really quick. 1923 just had its series finale. It was the last episode in 1923. The latest prequel of the Yellowstone series. And I. **Chip** (01:17:21:15 - 01:17:23:14): Know that Kevin Costner. **Thomas** (01:17:23:19 - 01:17:46:09): The Kevin Costner. So, like, okay, it's at the his ranch, right? Okay. It's his ranch that we've seen five seasons of or whatever in current day. But this happens in, as the name suggests, 1923. Yes. And I'm not going to get into too much of it, but there is such a direct inverse to what we will be doing in Hawaii. And remember, and I was just thinking about it, watching it, it shows that frostbite and exposure to cold is no joke. We are talking black fingers, people losing limbs to this severe bitter cold. And as I'm watching that and just like, oh, we are going to be in such the opposite position when we're in. **Chip** (01:18:10:03 - 01:18:27:21): Yeah we are. Yes. Those little, little, little toes in the sand. It's going to be great. And I would assume when these, you know, people, these horrible situations befall them in I'm saying, 1923 like, you know, in, in the cold of winter, I'm assuming there's no laugh track. **Thomas** (01:18:27:23 - 01:18:31:05): There's no laugh track, but it would have soft in it. **Chip** (01:18:31:07 - 01:18:32:00): Yeah, it. **Thomas** (01:18:32:00 - 01:18:51:09): Would have made things a lot softer. You know, there were actually, you know, some moments of levity, a couple, a couple of lines that got you going. But by and large, I just can't tell you how miserable the cold looks. And just knowing that you can make a choice and escape it, if only for a little bit. **Chip** (01:18:51:11 - 01:18:52:10): Yes. **Thomas** (01:18:52:12 - 01:18:53:22): How exciting. Joe. **Chip** (01:18:54:00 - 01:19:12:20): I'm so excited. And. But by the way, what is it? Wyoming. I mean, Yellowstone, Montana. Montana. Okay, so just Montana, wintertime, the 1920s. Just to put you in that, man. And then just just to be able to come out of it in 2025, we're going to why it's it's the greatest. It's going to make it so much sweeter. **Thomas** (01:19:12:20 - 01:19:22:07): I'm sure you can't escape the cold. And that's something that people will be dealing with in November. Yeah. It is a tremendous, tremendous benefit for the whole, the whole operation. **Chip** (01:19:22:10 - 01:19:24:20): I'm just so psyched. Do we want to jump into the episode or. **Thomas** (01:19:25:00 - 01:19:25:15): Yeah. **Chip** (01:19:25:17 - 01:19:33:17): Let's do it. All right, Brady Bunch, we talked about the first two episodes. In the last two episodes, they did Hawaii. We have the, the narrator again, I believe. Right. **Thomas** (01:19:37:20 - 01:19:38:05): Yeah. **Chip** (01:19:38:05 - 01:19:55:19): Oh, yeah. Yeah. And what a just. I think you said the Dragnet. Narrator. Just nice baritone voice, gentlemen, that you don't see in any other episodes of the Brady Bunch. Just when they're in Hawaii, just recapping all of the havoc that has been heaped upon the Brady family since they've gotten to this tropical Paradise. **Thomas** (01:19:55:21 - 01:20:24:16): It's absolutely beautiful. And as, somebody who's worked on a television show or two, I'm just in awe of the amount of running time they are just eating up with this recap. And then they have a beautiful minute of that song where there's a lovely lady, there's a man named Brady. I clocked it at three minutes of just intro and, recap. **Chip** (01:20:24:17 - 01:20:27:13): That's half a TV show nowadays. That is half a TV show. **Thomas** (01:20:27:16 - 01:20:49:08): And then there's a minute a credit. So we're we're cut four minutes off and, you know, do the math. It adds up ten episodes in. If you were doing that, it's going to be 40 minutes. That's almost two episodes worth of, half hour content. So, hats off to them for getting away with it. And for America for dealing with that. **Chip** (01:20:49:10 - 01:20:58:03): It was the 70s, man. Things were slower back then. They're just like, let us have it. Just we just need to slip into our, our evening and, you know. **Thomas** (01:20:58:04 - 01:21:22:11): Yeah. And also, I want to say something. I was watching this on Paramount Plus. Okay. And they have a splash screen that, you know, when you click on the episode, when it's loading, they show you, visual that's supposed to go along with the episode, get you primed up, but hide the fact that they're loading something. And the splash screen on this particular episode ruins the whole ending. **Chip** (01:21:22:13 - 01:21:34:01): Spoiler alert it just blows it out of the water. This is a guy who has never seen The Brady Bunch. He didn't know if those boys were going to be left dead in the cave, and it totally ruins the ending. **Thomas** (01:21:34:03 - 01:21:47:09): It really, it really did. So like, I, you know, I went in there with, a skewed perspective. I knew how things were going to end, so I couldn't go all the way to the edge with the suspense. But, we'll get to that at the end. We won't spoil it here. **Chip** (01:21:47:14 - 01:21:49:15): I give that a paramount minus. **Thomas** (01:21:49:20 - 01:21:51:00): That's a paramount minus. **Chip** (01:21:51:00 - 01:21:52:01): That's Paramount minus, buddy. **Thomas** (01:21:52:04 - 01:22:19:01): Yeah, absolutely. Vincent Price plays crazy in the scariest ways. And this thing, and he plays it from different angles. Yeah, it is an actor. You call it, you know, changing your intention, coming at things from a different perspective. But range. He is up and down. He is up and down. There's moments where you're like, he lives in this cave, and he just wants to spook everybody out of there. And then there's moments where you're like, he is trying to leverage these children for money, ransom, personal gain, and he does not care if they lose their life in the process. There's moments where you think he's going to murder them with a weapon. Yep. There's moments when you think he's going to tie them up and leave them in an abandoned cave to die. Yes, to die of starvation and exposure to the elements. **Chip** (01:22:45:06 - 01:22:50:03): On a primetime television show for families in 1972. **Thomas** (01:22:50:05 - 01:22:56:15): It is wild, and I have to imagine, like, I didn't get too much. It. Would Scooby Doo be around at this time? **Chip** (01:22:56:17 - 01:23:18:19): Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, this was a very Scooby Doo. Scooby doo meets Hardy Boys ending, right? Yeah. I mean, they're just it's it's that scary thing. Pretended to be a ghost pretending to be the ancient, you know, God, Hawaiian god or whatever, and then pulling the mask off, realizing it's just, crazy, man. And that's all it is. Who just has some financial gain that he wants to get? And, yeah, it is very, very Scooby Doo ish. No talking dogs. **Thomas** (01:23:26:08 - 01:23:53:04): Unfortunately, yeah, but there's something cartoonish about the danger. And I was like, maybe that was in the zeitgeist. People have watched these shows enough people in peril, but you don't take it too seriously. So, it starts off on his character arc. Vincent only wants to scare them. It's like the first thing we hear, and he's kind of watching the boys move around his cave, and he has this idea that he says out loud, which should let you know he's an insane person. **Chip** (01:23:53:06 - 01:24:00:16): Well, he, beg to differ. Beg to differ? He's not talking to nobody. He's talking to his friend Oliver. **Thomas** (01:24:00:17 - 01:24:23:16): We haven't met Oliver yet. Yeah, but he says that, and I quote. That's it. Scare them out of here. So he came up with the idea. There's some people in his place. I have an idea. I'll scare them out. He says it verbally while trying not to be heard by them. I assume they're there, right in the cave next door. **Chip** (01:24:23:21 - 01:24:25:05): And caves directly. **Thomas** (01:24:25:07 - 01:24:27:20): He starts creaking a hinge. **Chip** (01:24:27:22 - 01:24:28:12): Yep. **Thomas** (01:24:28:14 - 01:24:48:05): Yeah. He throws a rock in there. The boys are rolling with this. They're just like, no, maybe it was you shuffling your feet. What was that? It was nothing. You guys are being weird. But we've set the stage. It's kind of, I thought it was. I thought it was nice. It was like a pressure release. I was like, but it's. **Chip** (01:24:48:05 - 01:25:10:04): Spooky, but we're okay. They. He just wants them out. He just. By the way, he does talk about how well he hid the cave in the previous episode, and he was like, Charlie, I hid this cave. How did you find it? But then, like, he he obviously didn't do that. Great job. Three boys and then their parents from the mainland just wander in off of a bus and find this cave. Like, if you're really that concerned with people getting in your cave, do a better job of camouflaging it. Vince. **Thomas** (01:25:15:10 - 01:25:17:17): Well, I mean, how do you hide a cave? **Chip** (01:25:17:19 - 01:25:25:23): All right. Hey, little little brush a little, maybe like a little leg, you know, some hanging, some beads that look like Ivy. You know, I get it. **Thomas** (01:25:25:23 - 01:25:28:02): I. Yeah, you can hide the opening. **Chip** (01:25:28:04 - 01:25:29:12): The opening to a cave. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:25:29:14 - 01:25:31:01): Camouflage it a little bit. **Chip** (01:25:31:01 - 01:25:31:20): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:25:31:22 - 01:25:52:06): The boys are wandering around. This guy just wants to scare them out. That's fine. Mom and dad are back at the hotel. Worried? Yeah, they're just like, where are the boys? And truth be told, they're three boys who went out to do a little sightseeing in Hawaii. And they're not even really that late. It's just a little bit behind. But. But, you know, we're starting to worry. They are their children. **Chip** (01:25:56:14 - 01:25:57:14): Yep. **Thomas** (01:25:57:16 - 01:26:03:21): Back in the cave, the boys keep running into dead ends. They're lost. **Chip** (01:26:03:23 - 01:26:22:01): And they are. It's the physical work of these kids. It's just they're shuffling their feet. It's like fourth graders in a play in a cafeteria of, like, we're going to do some stage fighting right now, or I hit a dead end and, like, let's do the feet shuffle thing. I mean, it's it is comical and I loved it. This is one of my favorite parts of the episode. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:26:23:23 - 01:26:50:23): What does it physically look like to visually see that there's no exit in this room? It's like a lot of, you know, just stopping freezing. Yeah. A tremendous acting exercise. And I am surprised they all didn't win Emmys. Yeah, for the, shot for the exercise. But here's where Vincent really starts to ramp up the crazy. He has a big head statue, and I. I assume it was a been on the island for for years and years and years that he is talking to, and he has named it a modern day English name. Oliver. **Chip** (01:27:08:02 - 01:27:11:00): Yeah, yeah, it's his buddy. It's. **Thomas** (01:27:11:00 - 01:27:22:21): So now it's his pal. It's his best friend. Only friend, his confidant, and somebody he feels like he needs to keep up to speed on all the events in his life. **Chip** (01:27:22:22 - 01:27:25:12): They're the golden girls of this cave. **Thomas** (01:27:25:14 - 01:27:28:13): Yes. So. **Chip** (01:27:28:13 - 01:27:43:19): So he's just. He's just talking to this. Basically, his teacher Tiki statue called him Oliver. And which does it comedically? It it relieves some of that pressure valve, but also it is a crazy man talking to an inanimate object that he has named. **Thomas** (01:27:43:21 - 01:28:09:19): For me, this turns the tension way up. I mean, this is this is an unhinged person. He is not living in the real world. Somebody who wants to protect their home, sir. Or, you know, his cave. Somebody who just wants to protect their private space. I get that shoo people out. Get him out of here. But somebody who has left the realm of reality and is willfully talking to inanimate objects. Yeah, that is a scary person. That is the person that I do not want to be in a cave with. If I'm a young boy. **Chip** (01:28:17:20 - 01:28:25:20): No way. Or even a, you know, a gentleman, a man of age. I don't want to be in a cave with that guy. No. **Thomas** (01:28:25:22 - 01:28:51:03): Not at all. And I think this is one of the things that truly scares me in real life. Chap like, I understand there's bad people that want to do bad things, but, like, I can kind of wrap my head around what they're doing, and that means maybe I can make a decision that will help me outsmart them, that will help me out, maneuver them like, a sane person who just wants to do a bad thing. There's a little bit of an element of logic that you can figure out with a person who is living in a cave and talking to a statue, you never know what they're going to do. **Chip** (01:29:04:04 - 01:29:17:12): You know, and that's the beauty of the height of this episode, is, boy, the Bradys have never faced anything like this before. And they're they're about to they're falling into the clutches of a crazy person. **Thomas** (01:29:17:14 - 01:29:41:14): Yeah. And void of the parents. Really not rise to the occasion. Not given the opportunity. At this point, the younger brothers start to express some regret. Like, maybe we shouldn't have come in here. Greg takes it very personally and calls them wimps. Basically, he's like, you're just doing that. You're just saying that because you're scared. And they're like, we're not scared. And then he's like, well, then I'm going to go explore this cave over here, and you guys stay by yourself. And they're like, we're scared. We're scared. This is when Vincent Price comes in with the scariest remarks so far. So we at first we thought, just wants to scare him out. **Chip** (01:30:00:10 - 01:30:01:22): Yep. Fine. **Thomas** (01:30:02:00 - 01:30:22:18): Yeah. It's not it's not bad. Secondly, we find out he's an absolute nutter. Yes. He's talking to statues. He's a crazy person. And now he comes in with the remark great. They're scared. It's time to finish the job. **Chip** (01:30:22:20 - 01:30:28:17): I mean, I love people who finish things. But I don't know what this job is, and I'm not excited. **Thomas** (01:30:28:18 - 01:30:33:18): To me, that is a direct threat. Yep. To to murder these children. **Chip** (01:30:33:20 - 01:30:36:10): Three young children. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:30:36:12 - 01:30:37:07): Oh, my God. **Chip** (01:30:37:07 - 01:30:38:01): In a cave. **Thomas** (01:30:38:01 - 01:30:48:07): Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's it's devastating stuff. It's really like it is so intense for the, the vehicle that we are watching the story. **Chip** (01:30:48:08 - 01:30:49:01): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:30:49:03 - 01:31:07:10): I, I was, on the edge. I couldn't believe they were going these directions. Back at the hotel. The girls are trying to decide. Do we tell or not? Are we going to tattle? We promised we wouldn't tell. The boys might be in danger. Apparently, this is a big theme in the show. **Chip** (01:31:07:11 - 01:31:26:13): So many episodes about not lying, telling the truth, but also not being a snitch. Don't be a tattletale. There's a whole thing with Cindy, early on where she was tattling on everybody, and it's just so. It's just like snitches get stitches. Don't do this. But also, sometimes snitches get rewarded. So it it is a very mixed message. That's that's coming to young American kids in the early 70s. Should I tell or should I not? **Thomas** (01:31:32:06 - 01:31:46:21): And there was a big push like, I remember this. I felt it socially when you're a kid to not tattle, to not snitch, even if somebody could be in significant trouble. There was like a altruism about sticking close with your friends. **Chip** (01:31:46:23 - 01:31:48:10): Exactly. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:31:48:12 - 01:31:58:01): So it's fun to see it through this lens and, side. Now, this is the only function the girls have in this whole basically arc of episodes. **Chip** (01:31:58:07 - 01:32:15:07): Yeah, the girls really don't. It's the boys do with the heavy lifting. The girls really got written out a lot of this. And I hope, to their, credit, I would hope for their part that they were able to just didn't the actresses were able to enjoy the beaches of Waikiki at that point because, man, they did not do a lot of work. **Thomas** (01:32:15:09 - 01:32:25:04): I would love to think that that it was just a big flex there. Like, listen, we'll go to Hawaii, we'll do a couple of your little scenes, but we're going to be enjoying ourselves. Have fun working, you bozos. **Chip** (01:32:25:04 - 01:32:25:23): Exactly. **Thomas** (01:32:25:23 - 01:32:31:03): Yeah, I have a feeling it was less good. Is that. **Chip** (01:32:31:05 - 01:32:32:03): Yes. **Thomas** (01:32:32:04 - 01:32:34:03): It's probably just like, shut up. **Chip** (01:32:34:05 - 01:32:35:11): What was your trailer? **Thomas** (01:32:35:13 - 01:32:44:19): Yeah. Sit in your trailer. We'll let you know when it's time to do your thing. But, yeah, their only function is to be there, know something and decide if they're going to tell it or not. **Chip** (01:32:44:21 - 01:32:47:08): Exactly. **Thomas** (01:32:47:10 - 01:32:54:04): All right. Now, now we're back in the cave. And this is where Greg gets brave. **Chip** (01:32:54:06 - 01:32:55:08): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:32:55:10 - 01:33:14:18): He's heard enough. He's heard enough rumblings behind the scene. He knows somebody is in there with him. And instead of cowering, he wants to find out what pile of crap he stepped in. So he comes out and shouts, we know someone's in here. Come out! **Chip** (01:33:14:20 - 01:33:15:12): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:33:15:14 - 01:33:31:18): That's when Vincent Price, dressed in full, like, tribal mask with a grotesque, huge head, long white hair, big showing teeth, pops out of a coffin chip, a coffin. **Chip** (01:33:31:20 - 01:33:38:20): A casket in a cave coffin. **Thomas** (01:33:38:22 - 01:33:43:13): And the boys run for their life. Because this is the most terrifying thing you can even imagine. **Chip** (01:33:43:16 - 01:33:51:02): Yeah, okay. And like, to their credit, yes. Of course, if I even just saw a coffin in a cave, I'm running away. **Thomas** (01:33:51:04 - 01:33:52:08): Regardless of. **Chip** (01:33:52:10 - 01:34:14:05): If somebody pops out out of it. Yeah. Oh, by the way, I, I was at a, I was at a restaurant with my good friend and, and Mike and my wife, Kim. We were at this great Italian restaurant in Philly the other night, and right next to us was the, like, the bread station, where the busboys were, like, getting the amazing, like, great breads to, like, put on the table. But it was just a casket of it was just a bread coffin. It was this beautiful wooden hutch kind of situation, but it was a casket that they would just open and just pull delicious bread out of. And I was like, this is much more pleasant than a crazy old man in a mummers outfit scaring three boys. **Thomas** (01:34:37:08 - 01:34:45:17): I have a question. So the breads in the coffin? Yeah. Was the butter cream ated, Tommy? **Chip** (01:34:45:17 - 01:34:49:09): It was. I love it, right, I love it, yes. **Thomas** (01:34:49:09 - 01:34:52:02): Fire! It's earlier. That's pretty good for me. It's like. **Chip** (01:34:52:02 - 01:34:53:02): Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (01:34:53:04 - 01:35:01:11): Early in the morning here. Yeah, but not early enough to beat Vincent Price popping out of a casket. **Chip** (01:35:01:13 - 01:35:04:06): You got to. You got to wake up pretty early in the cave to do that. **Thomas** (01:35:04:10 - 01:35:09:00): And this is. Yeah. Yeah. You have no sense of time in a cave. There's no natural light. **Chip** (01:35:09:02 - 01:35:10:06): It's like a casino. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:35:10:12 - 01:35:31:01): This this is also where it's just the laugh track. The laugh track goes wild. These boys run for their life. This man wants to kill them. He's a big nutter. Insane. And he goes, darn it. They went the wrong way. Apparently he wanted them to go one direction. They went another direction. Huge laugh track. **Chip** (01:35:31:03 - 01:35:47:19): Yeah. Which also, exit signs. I know it's a cave, but let's let's have some fire, regulations here. Like, just a nice exit sign, glowing in the cave. He's got all this torches. Help! Help the kids out. If you really want them out, show them where the exodus. **Thomas** (01:35:47:19 - 01:36:00:21): I mean, if we're really thinking about it, this that the exit sign is not the only place. This is not up to code. No, you have to imagine there's no working restrooms. There's no running water. **Chip** (01:36:00:23 - 01:36:01:06): No. **Thomas** (01:36:01:07 - 01:36:09:16): The only thing we know for a fact is there is some means by which you could heat up a plate of beans. **Chip** (01:36:09:18 - 01:36:16:21): Yeah, we we definitely know that the beans were heated many times in this episode. A lot. **Thomas** (01:36:16:23 - 01:36:32:22): Oh my goodness. So the the laugh track comes in and that, he vows to Oliver that he will get rid of them another way and grabs a spear chip. Yeah. **Chip** (01:36:33:00 - 01:36:33:21): Yes. **Thomas** (01:36:33:22 - 01:36:36:02): He grabs a weapon. **Chip** (01:36:36:04 - 01:36:39:13): After talking to his inanimate friend. **Thomas** (01:36:39:15 - 01:37:00:13): And this is the next line after. Darn it, they went the wrong way. Laugh track. And then basically he's like, I'm going to murder them, stone friend. No laugh track. No, it's so out of place. And also, I think add a little realism. If you're going to be doing a laugh track in a cave. I got to have a little reverb, a little echo on those. **Chip** (01:37:00:18 - 01:37:09:11): Echo in the cave because, yeah, those that studio audience is in there with him. Thank you. Thomas. Yeah, yeah. You know, you're a better Foley artist than I am. I will say that. **Thomas** (01:37:09:13 - 01:37:36:13): It's, there's some there's some holes in this laugh track scheme, but. Yeah, but I really do love it. I think it's fun that it's there. It's fun to have some space from that being something we see anymore, and then go back and just be like, oh yeah, we're we are just little monkeys. We're little monkeys. And when we hear people laugh, when we smell something we put on at the beach, we feel like maybe we're at the beach. **Chip** (01:37:36:14 - 01:37:37:07): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:37:37:08 - 01:37:41:16): So laugh tracks work. I mean, this this is a small laugh track. That's what. **Chip** (01:37:41:16 - 01:37:43:04): We're doing. It really is. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:37:43:05 - 01:37:45:16): And, it's it's starting the day off. Great. **Chip** (01:37:45:16 - 01:37:47:01): But it really is. **Thomas** (01:37:47:03 - 01:38:10:04): At this point, the girls tattle. They tell Mom and Dad, mom and dad are disappointed. But basically, we won't follow along with the parents anymore. The girls are done. Yeah. Parents are retracing all the steps the boys took to get to this cave. So they're going to go talk to the old timer from the construction site, who still believes the old stories that told them where to go. They get the same information from him. They go out there and while that is happening, the boys get captured. **Chip** (01:38:18:08 - 01:38:30:02): Okay? They're they're tied up in a cave. At this point, this is, the most Scooby-Doo Hardy Boys thing going on right now. They're literally tied up in a cave with a crazy man with a spear. **Thomas** (01:38:30:02 - 01:38:37:06): As an old man, how do you tie up three young boys? One of which is, like, 17? How do you think he's a man? **Chip** (01:38:37:06 - 01:38:58:10): Yeah, he's a man. He is basically of age. He could he could overtake this. Although I will say Vincent Price, large man, larger than I realize. Big lumbering man. But he's also he's he's an older he's an aged gentleman. Yeah. It's like, I don't know if it's like a Blair Witch stare at the wall kind of situation, but he apparently somehow tied these boys up, one by one. **Thomas** (01:38:58:12 - 01:39:05:11): If you think about it, it's one by one. And the only way you do that is with threats. **Chip** (01:39:05:13 - 01:39:06:05): Yes, he. **Thomas** (01:39:06:05 - 01:39:19:10): Has a weapon they don't, even like. It's too much to put in the episode, but it was probably something like. I'm holding my spear up to your little brother. You tie one portion of your arm up. **Chip** (01:39:19:12 - 01:39:21:09): Yep. **Thomas** (01:39:21:11 - 01:39:30:14): And you know, just like, using, using a sharp blade to really force them into doing these things. It's terrifying. These boys have been through absolute horror. **Chip** (01:39:30:16 - 01:39:49:06): One of the other themes is that these boys were raised to respect their elders. So they're not the worldly kids in the world, okay? They're fish out of water. It's they're like, well, if the gentleman says to wait here to be tied up, I better wait here to be tied up. He obviously has some good intentions for us because he is an elderly man. **Thomas** (01:39:49:10 - 01:39:55:02): Maybe that's it. Maybe that explains what happens later. He's the oldest person on this show. **Chip** (01:39:55:04 - 01:39:56:03): Yes, by far. **Thomas** (01:39:56:06 - 01:40:16:03): And everybody kind of is willing to look the other way. Give him the benefit of the doubt, all the way through this insane journey and the thing he's doing. Yeah, he's an absolute not. And at this point, he's got him tied up. He accuses them of finding the taboo in this cave. **Chip** (01:40:16:06 - 01:40:23:20): Yeah, the little tiki doll. The taboo doll. He's like, you found it here. You stole it from me, boys. And they're like, no, we found it at the construction site. **Thomas** (01:40:23:21 - 01:40:28:04): Yeah. And he does not believe them. For what reason? No clue. **Chip** (01:40:28:06 - 01:40:28:20): No. **Thomas** (01:40:28:22 - 01:40:40:11): Yeah, but this is where we kind of start to find out his origin story, how he got to this cave, what he's really into. He is a disgraced professor. **Chip** (01:40:40:13 - 01:40:59:15): I mean, right there, right? My professor.com was not a thing back then, but probably very few stars. This man, he's from the world of academics, like right there. If I'm Greg and he's like, oh, you have a disgraced professor, I would have ripped that rope off and strangle the man right there. He's a college professor. Come on. **Thomas** (01:40:59:15 - 01:41:02:21): He didn't get there because he was got real good at jujitsu or something. **Chip** (01:41:02:21 - 01:41:22:21): No, no, he was lecturing about architecture or, about, archeology. About archeology. I mean, that's come on, that's. He is Indiana Jones without any of the cool parts. He is he is he is Iowa Jones. That's what this guy is. **Thomas** (01:41:22:23 - 01:41:44:12): He, he never got the big break. He even talked about it. He's just like some of my colleague. You know, one of my colleagues went left, I went right. We were looking for the same thing. We were working together. He found it, I didn't I you know, he didn't have the success he wanted to. So now he's like, I'm going to take what I know, these ancient artifacts and I'm cashing in on them. **Chip** (01:41:44:12 - 01:41:45:07): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:41:45:09 - 01:42:09:05): If I can't have the prestige, I can have the money. Yeah. And you guys are standing between me and my money. At the end of the day, it's a money grab because there was no respect given. And it it's so insane that in that world, it's like how you get prestige, how you get the respect of your peers is to find beautiful things that somebody else made and take them. **Chip** (01:42:09:10 - 01:42:27:10): And steal them. Yeah. This is a this is a this episode is just a prequel to Pawn Stars. That's all this is, is just he's taking these things to be like, what can I get for this? And they're like, we'll give you $5,000. And he's like, I'm rich in 1972 with that money. Oh, and that was that's that's his end game. **Thomas** (01:42:27:12 - 01:42:28:03): He probably. **Chip** (01:42:28:05 - 01:42:32:09): Do you think, by the way, do you think he would sell Oliver or is he keeping Oliver? **Thomas** (01:42:32:10 - 01:42:36:14): Oh, I mean, it's it's tough because he, he runs hot and cold on all these things. **Chip** (01:42:36:14 - 01:42:37:14): He really does. Right. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:42:37:15 - 01:42:52:02): I'm inclined to believe that he would sell Oliver. But at the same time, like, you know, who knows? Like they might have a physical relationship. He might be married to Oliver. We don't know what this guy is doing when when the lights go off, you know. **Chip** (01:42:52:02 - 01:43:15:16): And I don't know what the statutes in the state of Hawaii are either, so I'm not I'm not going to comment on that. And by the by the way, Oliver is the name that he gives to the his tiki friend in season four. In season five, spoiler alert Thomas, there is Cousin Oliver who shows up the little boy who is the cousin of the Brady kids who happens to be a jinx who's bad luck. That's that's the running joke. Oh, so some writer had a kid named Oliver. Or just like the name Oliver. And boy, they they use that name a lot in this series. **Thomas** (01:43:24:18 - 01:43:29:05): Well, it sounds like somebody might have hated it in Oliver. They might have been like. **Chip** (01:43:29:05 - 01:43:30:03): Yeah, maybe like a. **Thomas** (01:43:30:03 - 01:43:32:00): Twist situation running around on his. **Chip** (01:43:32:00 - 01:43:42:14): Lease by high school. By. Yeah. Like my grade school bully was named Oliver. So let's really I'm going to make him a tiki doll and a shitty little kid. Who is who is, just a jinx. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:43:42:20 - 01:43:53:23): You know, or just like a little nephew that won't stop talking about planet facts. You know, the solar system, the worse. You know how many moons Saturn has. Yeah. And it's just like, get out of here, bud. **Chip** (01:43:54:01 - 01:43:56:00): Leave, leave. **Thomas** (01:43:56:02 - 01:44:04:12): That was definitely me, remember? Just loving facts, learning facts. And just, like, really thinking it was a valuable commodity to share them with people. **Chip** (01:44:04:14 - 01:44:25:03): Yeah, and this is before the internet, so there was some value to it, just like a little bit of value, but like, yeah, I know what the capital of Egypt is. Yeah, I know what the longest river in the world is, you know, and people, you know, we thought that that was cool. And we just realized too late that facts do not matter at all anymore. **Thomas** (01:44:25:04 - 01:44:34:04): They're facts. Yeah. No, we're in the post fact era. You can look it up. You can look up anything. You can find out or real fact. You can find out a fake fact. **Chip** (01:44:34:09 - 01:44:34:17): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:44:34:17 - 01:44:41:03): For the most part, it doesn't matter. It's not going to change your life. I, I never need to know what the capital of anything is. **Chip** (01:44:41:05 - 01:44:42:17): No, not at all. **Thomas** (01:44:42:19 - 01:44:49:10): Give me a fake capital, see if I care. It's not going to, you know, move one inch of humanity one way or the other. **Chip** (01:44:49:13 - 01:44:51:11): Exactly. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:44:51:13 - 01:44:55:00): All right. So, Vincent's really held up on this, like. Yeah, I there's no rhyme or reason. He just won't believe that this artifact was found outside of the cave. **Chip** (01:45:07:13 - 01:45:21:02): And they're willing to give it to him. They're like, just. You take it like, here. It's a we didn't get it here, but you could have it. And they're like. And he's like, no, like, you need to show me where it is because there's obviously going to be more where that came from. **Thomas** (01:45:21:02 - 01:45:27:21): Yeah. He thinks this a little taboo has brothers. Yeah. And he is just seeing these big big dollar signs chip. **Chip** (01:45:27:23 - 01:45:28:19): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:45:28:21 - 01:45:39:15): Big money grab. We're also enter entering the phase of enterprise. This character that I like to call them the musical fruit. **Chip** (01:45:39:17 - 01:45:41:05): Yeah. Okay. All right. **Thomas** (01:45:41:07 - 01:45:43:14): The man loves beans. **Chip** (01:45:43:14 - 01:45:44:04): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:45:44:09 - 01:45:48:11): He is chowing down on these beans. **Chip** (01:45:48:13 - 01:45:52:08): It's just a plate of beans. Sit there while the boys are staring at him hungrily. **Thomas** (01:45:52:08 - 01:46:01:10): The boys are starving. You got to remember, this has been hours and hours. We don't know. And Bobby didn't even get to eat his popcorn, though, you know, they were. **Chip** (01:46:01:11 - 01:46:02:18): Growing his popcorn left and right. **Thomas** (01:46:02:18 - 01:46:16:19): Yeah, yeah. Sam's snack, Sam's dinner. At this point, it's definitely getting later in the day. They're tied up. Vincent Price opens up a can of beans, heats him up, is the item on the plate, is. These kids are just salivating. **Chip** (01:46:16:21 - 01:46:17:20): Yes. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:46:17:20 - 01:46:41:20): And at a certain point, to get this guy out of the room, to give them a little time to strategize, a little time to try and make hatch a plan that's going to get him out of here. Greg, the the old brother, the leader comes up with a just a super smart idea, a glance it he plants it in Vincent's mind. You know what? You need to heat up those beans. It looks like they're getting a little cold. **Chip** (01:46:46:13 - 01:46:46:20): Yep. **Thomas** (01:46:47:02 - 01:46:49:21): And Vincent is like. You know what? You're right. **Chip** (01:46:49:23 - 01:46:50:05): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:46:50:11 - 01:46:54:17): He gets them out of there with the cold. The cold bean switcheroo? **Chip** (01:46:54:21 - 01:47:01:19): Yeah, the baked beans. Yeah. The old Cincinnati baked beans grift that we've all seen before. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:47:01:21 - 01:47:20:06): I just love the forethought of, like, I need some space. Let's get this. This guy is obviously nuts. He's obviously following his appetites more than anything else at this point. Sure. I'm just going to planet in his idea. Like his head that he needs heat. These bands, he gets out of there and that's when they start working on plans. You know, they actually get free. Greg kind of has some, some magic he's doing. He did something with the ropes when he put them on there to make them looser. So he wasn't tied up fully. And, they're, they're getting out. The parents are arriving to the area at this point. They get to the forest, they're finding the popcorn. We know that if they can just survive, help is on the way. **Chip** (01:47:48:19 - 01:48:04:13): And my favorite part is, like, Bobby loves popcorn. It must be his popcorn. It's like popcorn kernels in a jungle. Like they're going to see them, and then they're like, oh, yeah, Bobby loves popcorn. I don't think for any other episode ever in the history of The Brady Bunch, I could be wrong, but I don't think Bobby ever ate popcorn. It wasn't his thing. It was just like, oh, Bobby loves popcorn. It obvi. They're obviously here in this jungle right now. **Thomas** (01:48:12:11 - 01:48:26:22): Yeah. It's not a big Hawaii tree like I've seen my fair share of the islands. And I've never seen a big cornfield like that have room for a bush that only makes two ears a year. **Chip** (01:48:27:00 - 01:48:42:16): Yeah, exactly. And it's so where he even gets that. It's like a circus. Kind of like movie theater, you know, basket of popcorn. It's just the most bizarre. It's one of the most, like, weirdest props that just sticks out like a sore thumb. But also. **Thomas** (01:48:42:16 - 01:48:47:11): There's just so many birds in Hawaii. There's beautiful birds all over the place. **Chip** (01:48:47:13 - 01:48:48:06): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:48:48:08 - 01:48:54:01): I mean, isn't that, Hansel and Gretel thing? Like, don't the birds come and eat the bread crumbs or. **Chip** (01:48:54:03 - 01:49:02:03): And then they eat. They eat Hansel. Eyes out. I believe they peck his eyes out at the end. And then Gretel is thrown into a stove. I believe that's what happens. **Thomas** (01:49:02:03 - 01:49:05:09): Birds are monsters. They're monsters. The worst. **Chip** (01:49:05:09 - 01:49:07:01): Yes they are. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:49:07:03 - 01:49:08:08): That's terrifying stuff. **Chip** (01:49:08:13 - 01:49:12:04): So the. The parrots are getting close. They're close on the trail. **Thomas** (01:49:12:08 - 01:49:20:16): The parents are close on the trail. But the boys escape attempt is thwarted with the tip of the spear. **Chip** (01:49:20:18 - 01:49:21:16): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:49:21:18 - 01:49:25:02): He gets right in there, and he ties them back up. **Chip** (01:49:25:04 - 01:49:37:06): Again a second time, ties them up like, get. All right, boys, we're going to do, you know, the drill. And they're like, sure, we'll put our hands behind the little tiki poles. Let's tie up once again. **Thomas** (01:49:37:08 - 01:49:40:01): All right, now Greg gets another hot idea. Tight. **Chip** (01:49:40:03 - 01:49:50:02): Tie me up once. Shame on you. Tie me up twice. Shame on the three Brady boys. At this point, that's. I'm. I'm calling. I'm crying foul. **Thomas** (01:49:50:04 - 01:49:54:10): Yeah, yeah. It's it's got. They've got to be so confused. So scared. **Chip** (01:49:54:15 - 01:49:56:08): Yeah, I guess so. All right. **Thomas** (01:49:56:10 - 01:50:00:04): We are back to the point where Greg has an idea. **Chip** (01:50:00:04 - 01:50:01:05): He's hatching a new plan. **Thomas** (01:50:01:05 - 01:50:25:18): He's hatching a new plan. And it is as old as the sun itself. It's not the Cincinnati baked beans scramble, though. It is good old fashioned lying. Yeah. And he's like, this guy's crazy. Let's just tell him we found it here and we'll go look for it. And, you know, we'll be able to tell him the spot. And maybe that will help us just get in a situation where we can get out of here. So he tells them they found it here. We don't remember exactly where it was because we don't know the caves. But if you just walk around with us, we'll show you where we found it. They do that to no avail. And somehow that is what Vincent Price accepts is. Oh, you really are telling the truth. **Chip** (01:50:43:03 - 01:50:59:10): Yeah. Some sort of professor mind game, like, you know, gift to the Magi, kind of, you know. Oh, well, if this did happen, this. We switched it around. Yeah. Therefore, by deduction, I have deduced that you were not lying. Hahaha. You know. **Thomas** (01:50:59:12 - 01:51:00:21): Pretty huge deduction. **Chip** (01:51:00:22 - 01:51:06:22): King Solomon doesn't have to cut the baby in half now, you know like it's it's just it's a he becomes that wise old professor. **Thomas** (01:51:07:03 - 01:51:21:13): It's very. Yeah very wise, very powerful. And he is he's right. They did not find it there. So you think okay, they have nothing else of value for him. He's probably just let him go, right? No. **Chip** (01:51:21:13 - 01:51:22:01): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:51:22:03 - 01:51:26:00): This is when he really threatens, he's going to leave him for dead. **Chip** (01:51:26:04 - 01:51:34:09): He's got to leave them for dead, is what Thomas just said. This happening in an episode of season four of The Brady Bunch. **Thomas** (01:51:34:11 - 01:51:43:15): I mean, this is all the boys in the family to the Brady name. Unless Mike really gets back on the horse ends this day without intervention. **Chip** (01:51:43:19 - 01:51:59:01): It really does. And I will say it probably cut 30s out of that, intro music though for episodes, they're they only have to talk about the girls, which is kind of nice. You get a little more plot. I'm not saying it's worth killing off the three boys, but that's a little airtime. You can have. **Thomas** (01:51:59:03 - 01:52:09:14): Well, I think it probably would. Right. The balance issues we've been seeing on this Hawaii episode where we're in season four, I assume it's been a similar breakdown for the first three seasons. **Chip** (01:52:09:19 - 01:52:10:05): Yes. **Thomas** (01:52:10:10 - 01:52:23:15): If this ultimately is only going to be a five season arc, I think getting rid of the boys entirely and just having the girls be there, I still don't think they get as many stories in over the course of the whole series. That's my assumption. **Chip** (01:52:23:16 - 01:52:25:12): I understood. I agree. **Thomas** (01:52:25:14 - 01:52:29:06): Now we have a little bit of remorse. This kook apologizes. **Chip** (01:52:29:08 - 01:52:30:03): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:52:30:05 - 01:52:44:18): And he tells them he would never plan on hurting them. He was just going to get out of here with his treasures and then send somebody back to help them out. Yeah, that is when Mom and dad show up. **Chip** (01:52:44:20 - 01:52:46:22): Like the heroes they are. **Thomas** (01:52:47:00 - 01:52:53:01): There is a crazy old kook. Their boys are being held against their will. **Chip** (01:52:53:06 - 01:52:53:20): Yes. **Thomas** (01:52:53:22 - 01:53:09:17): They are tied up. They're imprisoned. They have been threatened with weapons. They have been scared on purpose. They have seen a life size grotesque monster pop out of a coffin. **Chip** (01:53:09:17 - 01:53:11:22): Pop out of a coffin in a cave, in. **Thomas** (01:53:11:22 - 01:53:22:13): A cave that they can't get out of, that they're lost and have been dealing with, you know, these spooky thoughts and these old legends. These boys have been through all of it. **Chip** (01:53:22:15 - 01:53:24:04): Traumatized. **Thomas** (01:53:24:06 - 01:53:34:12): And what do you think, Mike, when he sees his kids in this position? What kind of words do you think he has for the professor? **Chip** (01:53:34:14 - 01:53:44:10): First of all, you don't think he would use words? You think he would start throwing hands? You would think that that's the first thing. But now he decides to go another route. And Thomas, what does he say to the professor? **Thomas** (01:53:44:12 - 01:53:49:09): And I quote Mr.. You've got a lot of explaining to do. **Chip** (01:53:49:11 - 01:53:52:16): You've got a lot of explaining to do. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:53:52:17 - 01:54:18:15): And he does. So after all of this, somehow Mike comes in with a sympathetic feeling for the professor and offers to help him, establish himself in the archeology world by vouching for the fact that he found this cave. He found all these treasures. He's the great white savior of the islands of Hawaii. **Chip** (01:54:18:20 - 01:54:19:05): Yes. **Thomas** (01:54:19:05 - 01:54:44:15): And that him and his children will gladly vouch for him, and that he can get his status back in his community. And he can get all these things to a museum. And everything will be right in his world. He'll have the career he wants because he imprisoned three children, and then without having to leverage anything to get his children safe or whatever, he just volunteers like you know what? This guy wouldn't have kidnaped my three kids if things were going well for him. I think it's time to do something nice for this guy. **Chip** (01:54:51:20 - 01:55:14:05): He doesn't know what else happened in that case. Like, here's the thing to how many other children happened upon this cave. It did not meet the same fate over the years. There could be a lot more archeological finds in there, which are just children from three years ago who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. And this professor murdered. **Thomas** (01:55:14:07 - 01:55:18:00): What are they doing with all those little corduroy bellbottoms you know? **Chip** (01:55:18:02 - 01:55:26:04): Exactly. Yeah. He's fashioning them into ancient tribal garb. He's been. He's bedazzling them out of it. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:55:26:04 - 01:55:31:11): Oliver's in. Just like a low rise pair of pants that go up to his big old neck. Yeah? **Chip** (01:55:31:11 - 01:55:32:22): Yeah. Yep. **Thomas** (01:55:32:23 - 01:55:48:12): Yeah. It's getting wild. So now we smash cut to, all is right in the world for a white man. It is a hula celebration where we find out that it's in celebration of this professor. It is literally just in celebration of him. **Chip** (01:55:48:14 - 01:55:52:00): They are lauding him. This their great, great man. **Thomas** (01:55:52:00 - 01:56:09:02): As this great, great man. They have given him his own wing at the museum. And, he's the head of it. He's got this big new job, big paycheck, because he found all this stuff that somebody else made. **Chip** (01:56:09:04 - 01:56:11:07): Kidnaping pays. Kids remember. **Thomas** (01:56:11:07 - 01:56:14:08): That. This is a big propaganda piece for kidnaping. **Chip** (01:56:14:09 - 01:56:29:00): It really is. And it works. And it shows. As long as you're a nice guy, as long as you don't do too much physical harm, and as long as you have some sort of background in academia, you can kidnap whoever you want and you will be rewarded for it. **Thomas** (01:56:29:02 - 01:56:36:14): The other thing I love about this is how well they have this awkward moment where they're all blowing in a shell all night. **Chip** (01:56:36:14 - 01:56:38:08): If a blow into the shell, it is. **Thomas** (01:56:38:08 - 01:56:39:15): So much blowing. **Chip** (01:56:39:17 - 01:56:50:23): It's a lot of blow. And I didn't see anybody disinfecting the shell before they blow into it. No, it is just, just herpes going around like crazy on this island. **Thomas** (01:56:51:00 - 01:56:53:07): Oh, yeah. It's a it's a herpes shell. **Chip** (01:56:53:09 - 01:56:53:16): Yeah. **Thomas** (01:56:53:17 - 01:56:58:10): And, I have to imagine, too, like, we had these big, long recaps. **Chip** (01:56:58:12 - 01:56:59:12): Yep. **Thomas** (01:56:59:13 - 01:57:15:01): And then we get to this point and we see nine people, and it's not just a quick blow. Like, they each get their moment with the shell. They can't do it. They can't do it. They have a reaction to getting it. They blow on it. They stink. They blow in it again still stinks. They laugh. **Chip** (01:57:15:02 - 01:57:16:05): It's half the episode. **Thomas** (01:57:16:05 - 01:57:21:09): They must have been short on this. There's no way, even back then, with a different pacing that I'm not great with. **Chip** (01:57:21:11 - 01:57:34:02): I wonder if this was supposed to be two episodes, but then they decided they had to make it three, so they really had to slapdash this together. I that's the call right there is that this was two episodes. They turn it into a third. **Thomas** (01:57:34:05 - 01:57:35:07): That's interesting. **Chip** (01:57:35:09 - 01:57:37:05): I'm coming at you hot right now. **Thomas** (01:57:37:07 - 01:57:43:16): The other thing about this little owl is that dad is horny again. **Chip** (01:57:43:18 - 01:57:44:19): He really is. **Thomas** (01:57:44:19 - 01:57:45:06): Yeah it is. **Chip** (01:57:45:07 - 01:57:52:11): He's like my sons were just kidnaped by a madman, and my wife is sitting right next to me. **Thomas** (01:57:52:13 - 01:57:55:12): However. Teddy's, Teddy's, Teddy's. **Chip** (01:57:55:16 - 01:57:59:12): Exactly. That is the theme of the Brady Bunch. I think he's Barney. **Thomas** (01:57:59:13 - 01:58:00:18): Confessor over this. **Chip** (01:58:00:18 - 01:58:11:00): They're just. By the way, Vincent Price, ladies man. Let me just say that, yeah. By the way, if you see any movement back here, Franklin is, Franklin is hanging out with us. My dog is right behind us. So, producer. **Thomas** (01:58:11:00 - 01:58:11:18): Franklin. **Chip** (01:58:11:20 - 01:58:22:16): Producer Franklin just, in the back, checking all the wires. So, yeah, he's here, but, he's getting hyped up, like. And, like they just forgot that these boys a couple hours before were kidnaped in a cave. **Thomas** (01:58:22:17 - 01:58:46:13): Yeah, I mean, he's just brainwashed. And then there is a moment where, like, you see the hula girls, and then you see mom. Yep. And mom sees the hula girls, and then she's like, oh, I bet my husband will like this. And you see her looking for him, right? And just the look on his face when he's looking at those girls, it's his his tongue might as well have rolled out of his mouth like a cartoon dog. **Chip** (01:58:46:14 - 01:58:48:02): Hearts coming out of his eyes. Yeah. **Thomas** (01:58:48:06 - 01:58:51:06): Big heart eyes. He is. **Chip** (01:58:51:08 - 01:59:06:22): Torqued. Yes he is. Yeah. And then? Then there's this. Oh, and by the way, I think my my favorite part. So you have like, the hula girls, and then you have the band, which is like the percussion guys. **Thomas** (01:59:07:04 - 01:59:09:14): Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I know where you're going. **Chip** (01:59:09:15 - 01:59:36:03): It. It's a percussion quartet that, you know, just doing the drums and, whatever. And it's three obviously very Polynesian looking men. And then just one guy that was probably a sound guy, like just a white man. Just a guy named Sully, you know, that. They're just like, hey, Solly, we need we need a fourth. Take your shirt off and go stand next to this Polynesian, pick up some drum sticks. You're you're going to be, Hawaiian for the day. He's like, all right. And he's kind of got this, like, sort of like 50s greaser, kind of like comb over like that uncle that you only see once a year. Like just that kind of situation. Like he's a trucker. He's like a t. He looks like a teamster, like a white Irish teamster. But he took his shirt off, so. Oh, he's obviously Polynesian now. **Thomas** (01:59:57:02 - 01:59:59:15): Oh, it sticks out so poorly. **Chip** (01:59:59:17 - 02:00:01:10): It's the greatest thing in the world. **Thomas** (02:00:01:11 - 02:00:09:09): And this luau has sound stage written all over it. Like most of this stuff has been on location. This is I mean, it's probably back here in the States. **Chip** (02:00:09:09 - 02:00:10:11): Yeah. Anything else? **Thomas** (02:00:10:13 - 02:00:11:12): Really? Well. **Chip** (02:00:11:14 - 02:00:26:17): Just the fact that it just he just glossed over everything that like, everything is forgiven. Let's give this white man just kidnaped some boys, threaten their lives. Keys to the museum and a lifetime of praise and money. **Thomas** (02:00:26:21 - 02:00:46:19): I just got so excited. Not only about just what we're entitled to as white men. The praise, the money, the accolades, all that stuff. But the fact that there's a good chance you and I on this calendar year are going to be doing some kind of, hula style activity together. **Chip** (02:00:46:21 - 02:00:48:17): Exactly. Yeah. **Thomas** (02:00:48:18 - 02:00:51:13): That we are going to be at a luau. **Chip** (02:00:51:15 - 02:00:55:00): After kidnaping some boys in a cave. **Thomas** (02:00:55:02 - 02:01:03:04): No, but I'm serious. Like, we're going to be there. We're going to be in this environment. It's like, I can just feel it, I can see it, I can smell it. **Chip** (02:01:03:06 - 02:01:10:23): And I've never been there before, so. But it's like I'm getting so excited. So it's like you have that that sense memory of it. And I'm just I'm so excited to go. **Thomas** (02:01:11:01 - 02:01:27:14): Yeah. And we'll be doing it together. That's going to be the funnest thing. The families, hopefully some people will be joining us for, for various, activities over the weekend. But I don't know that that's why it's watching these things. It's just a little mini trip. It's a mental trip. **Chip** (02:01:27:18 - 02:01:28:01): Yep. **Thomas** (02:01:28:01 - 02:01:52:13): We're we're going there for a little bit. We're seeing it. We're smelling it. And, that brings me back to my biggest problem with this episode as a piece of Hawaiian shot television is between the hotels and the caves. But this could have been shot in Burbank. Yeah. Like we're just in hotel rooms and we're in a cave. It they wasted it. **Chip** (02:01:55:14 - 02:02:13:03): They wasted the first two episodes. The first two episodes had a decent amount of, like, Hawaii actual, you know, footage on the island, which I absolutely hate. But this was and again, I think that goes to show that like, this was a two episode and then they're like, let we can make it three. We're just going to slap a bunch of other stuff together, potentially. **Thomas** (02:02:13:03 - 02:02:16:13): I also have a feeling Mr. Price didn't join them in Hawaii. **Chip** (02:02:16:16 - 02:02:20:23): That's true. Yo. Yeah, he definitely wasn't Hawaii. Yeah. There's just there's no exteriors. **Thomas** (02:02:21:01 - 02:02:23:12): And blue out here. So. **Chip** (02:02:23:14 - 02:02:25:03): Yeah, that's that's true. **Thomas** (02:02:25:03 - 02:02:35:01): And I think that you know but find a different way. Yeah. Find a different way to get outside. Oh and so we talked about, Kualoa ranch. **Chip** (02:02:35:02 - 02:02:36:10): Yes. Yeah. **Thomas** (02:02:36:12 - 02:02:46:01): In this episode, ship one of the exteriors when they're heading towards the burial grounds. Kualoa ranch. **Chip** (02:02:46:02 - 02:02:50:02): Beautiful sea. Yeah. And we're going to be there. Oh, my God, I'm so excited. **Thomas** (02:02:50:04 - 02:03:02:21): We're going to be there. So we talked about it, and then I saw it flash up and I was like, I had no idea this is going to be here. I thought I'd bring it up. It was actually the last episode, I believe, when they were on their journey to to the place, to the caves. Yeah. But, at this point in the episode, the luau was over. Yeah. And we get this beautiful sweeping pan of all of Waikiki from Diamond Head out at the tip, all the way back into the beach in the hotels. And, we come in. The family is packing up. Yeah. It's time for Bobby to get a little weird morality lesson. I'm not sure what the lesson is. Did you. Did you track what this is? **Chip** (02:03:25:02 - 02:03:29:06): I mean, it's sort of a glass half full, half empty situation. Yeah, maybe. **Thomas** (02:03:29:07 - 02:03:52:02): He was talking about the taboo. I thought it was good luck, but it must have been bad luck because only just awful things happened right when it was around. And dad's like, well, that's all depends on how you look at it. Like, it could be good or bad luck, depending on how you want to phrase it. It's just like me and my brothers got, you know, really kidnaped. **Chip** (02:03:52:04 - 02:03:52:22): Should we talk. **Thomas** (02:03:52:22 - 02:03:53:01): To. **Chip** (02:03:53:05 - 02:03:58:14): Tyler? Maybe we need to talk to a, a mental health professional. He's like, now it's just how you look at it. Yeah. **Thomas** (02:03:58:14 - 02:04:01:21): He's like, no, visualize a glass. Glass that's half full. **Chip** (02:04:01:23 - 02:04:02:22): Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (02:04:02:23 - 02:04:04:20): There was that weird lesson. **Chip** (02:04:04:21 - 02:04:07:00): Yes, very strange in there. **Thomas** (02:04:07:00 - 02:04:09:03): And now now we're leaving. **Chip** (02:04:09:05 - 02:04:11:23): They're just they're taken off the plane as planes head down. **Thomas** (02:04:12:01 - 02:04:23:18): And maybe that has a lot to do with, like, actual parenting. Like, there's just so many things in life, like, I don't know. Yeah, but you've got a kid. They want answers, and you're just like, you know what? Maybe. **Chip** (02:04:23:20 - 02:04:26:02): Yeah, this was a good thing. Yeah. **Thomas** (02:04:26:04 - 02:04:41:10): Yeah, maybe. Maybe you're asking me a yes or no question. I'm going to give you a maybe I'm in a shrouded in mystery. I'm going to use some words and talk around it a little bit. And that's what you need to hear to get your little tush back on that plane. **Chip** (02:04:41:14 - 02:04:42:07): 100%. **Thomas** (02:04:42:07 - 02:04:52:14): Back home, where we can get in our grain station wagon. Yeah. And I can continue being a architect of leisure and really, you know, horning it up. **Chip** (02:04:52:16 - 02:04:53:04): Yep. **Thomas** (02:04:53:06 - 02:04:54:21): All over the West Coast. **Chip** (02:04:55:02 - 02:04:58:16): And talking about it with my sons, which is just very odd. **Thomas** (02:04:58:19 - 02:05:06:13): It's so bizarre. It's so bizarre. But hey, that was the 70s. And with that chip, I mean, what a what a three episode arc. **Chip** (02:05:06:14 - 02:05:23:02): I'll tell you this, Thomas, right now, and I hate to get serious at the end of a fun episode. This is a fun, positive podcast. But, as I watched these three, I watched these episodes many times as a child. But I realized something today. I'm putting my glasses on. I mean, that's how serious I'm getting with this. And the world needs to know this. I'm telling you right now, Thomas, I'm telling the listeners and the viewers at home right now. I'm very serious about this. The Brady Bunch three episode arc, where they go to Hawaii was an allegory for the Vietnam War. Are you ready? Buckle up. Here's how it goes. All right. These episodes aired in the autumn of 1972, when America was in the thick of the war in Vietnam. Okay, America's most wholesome, famous family was was thrust into a distant land of which they knew very little. But they just went over there. The Vietnam War was said to be about containing communism, but we know now that it was about America's trade and economic influence in the region, as well as our access to materials like rubber and tin and other minerals. And Thomas, what was the taboo doll made of other minerals? Okay, read between the lines. And why were the Brady shipped away in the first place? Because of Mike's corporate interests and building over in that strange land, there were military bases over there. We obviously saw their tour of Pearl Harbor and Mike Brady's whole treatise about the USS Arizona. Speaking of the military, okay, in the first episode, Mike didn't ask the Brady kids if they wanted to go to Hawaii. He told them they were going to Hawaii. You know what that sounds like, Thomas sounds a little something called the Selective Service. The Brady kids were not asked to go to Hawaii. They were drafted to go to Hawaii. Okay. And what was the theme of the Hawaii episodes? Escapism and American Idealism in the face of chaos? See, Americans were living the good life in the 50s and 60. Thought we had it all great, and it was our hubris that sent us over to Vietnam, thinking that everything would be okay. But we were met with the harsh realities of danger lurking beneath the surface. Whether it was the Vietcong or the Tet Offensive, or a tarantula in Jan's tote bag or Greg surfing wipe out. Speaking of Greg surfing Wipeout, where he suffered a tragic accident just off the coast, you ever hear of a little something called the Gulf of Tonkin Incident? Look it up, Thomas, because that's what Mike's wipe out represented. Then we have the generational divide. Okay, Mike, you were so consumed with the status quo and material luxuries like that five star resort or their fancy coral jewelry. It was the Brady kids. It was the youth of the early 70s that were awakened to the existential threat lurking beneath the seemingly idyllic setting. And what are the Bradys do to solve their problems? They send the young men off into the jungle to wage a war fraught with peril. Sherwood Schwartz illustrated America's hubris across the ocean. Greg almost died in a surfing accident. The boys desecrated an ancient artifact in a construction site. They openly mock the way the indigenous people talk and act, and they pay the price. So there you have it. The boys were the soldiers in the jungle waging an unpopular war. America's hubris comes back to haunt us. The generational divide of a nation and a family in peril, and the lost innocence under the backdrop of an escapist utopia. And finally, Thomas, who is the very famous man who wrote and directed the 1986 Academy Award winning film platoon about the Vietnam War. **Thomas** (02:09:01:04 - 02:09:03:18): That's my good friend Oliver Stone. Yep. **Chip** (02:09:03:20 - 02:09:26:23): Exactly. And who was Vincent Price's only friend inside the cave in those episodes? It was. It was the Tiki doll Oliver, who was made out of stone. Ladies and gentlemen, the Brady Bunch three episode arc, Where they go to Hawaii was an allegory for the Vietnam War. And there you have it, chimp. **Thomas** (02:09:26:23 - 02:09:31:06): I mean, do you even feel comfortable? Are you in danger for exposing all this? **Chip** (02:09:31:11 - 02:09:41:03): I might be, but the truth needs to be out there. Sherwood Schwartz sent that message, and I'm getting that message out to the youth of today. **Thomas** (02:09:41:05 - 02:09:44:03): Yeah. I mean, what a conclusion. **Chip** (02:09:44:04 - 02:09:45:15): What a roller coaster ride. **Thomas** (02:09:45:15 - 02:09:49:13): We've been up. We've been down. What's your favorite episode of the three? **Chip** (02:09:49:13 - 02:10:06:02): I think the first one is just so you're so excited because, again, half the fun is getting there. Yep. So I think that's the one. But and then, I mean, they're all great. But you know, the end one is it has the catharsis. But there's the caves, which I love. And, yeah, I mean, anything with Vincent Price, I'm going to watch. **Thomas** (02:10:06:05 - 02:10:09:05): My definitive ranking. Is episode one a cop? **Chip** (02:10:09:07 - 02:10:09:14): Yeah. **Thomas** (02:10:09:14 - 02:10:15:04): Episode two. Man. Yeah. Episode three. Episode three. I could have done without. **Chip** (02:10:15:06 - 02:10:22:08): Yeah, exactly. It's it's. Yeah, there's not much go. It's a lot of. Yeah, I think a lot of the action is actually in two. So. Yeah. **Thomas** (02:10:22:08 - 02:10:24:18): Well a lot of the drama isn't 2 in 2. **Chip** (02:10:24:18 - 02:10:27:17): That's where all the bad stuff is happening. So yeah. Yeah. **Thomas** (02:10:27:17 - 02:10:35:17): The fantasy is episode one. Yeah. You're getting to the island. You are, you know, sightseeing. You are. **Chip** (02:10:35:17 - 02:10:36:09): Gonzo. **Thomas** (02:10:36:09 - 02:10:45:04): Learning a little bit. You're running into Don how when you're knee high to a grasshopper yourself, seeing a big international star like Don. How? **Chip** (02:10:45:09 - 02:10:46:10): Absolutely. Yeah. **Thomas** (02:10:46:12 - 02:11:00:16): Come on, dude, but this has been a great wrap up. Thanks for hanging out with us. Thanks for joining us on this Brady Journey. This is the Sun Burn podcast. We talk about comedy and tropical travel. We'll be back with new episodes next week. **Chip** (02:11:00:17 - 02:11:03:05): Yes, we will. **Thomas** (02:11:03:07 - 02:11:08:02): Until next time, stay burnt. Front desk. **Chip** (02:11:08:05 - 02:11:13:17): Hi. This Mr. Chantry, in oh eight. I wanted to see if I could reserve three seats on the hotel shuttle. Absolutely. **Thomas** (02:11:13:17 - 02:11:15:02): What time are you headed? To the airport? **Chip** (02:11:15:03 - 02:11:22:02): Oh, no. Airport. My two brothers and I need to return a cursed tiki doll to some ancient burial grounds that are guarded by Vincent Price. **Thomas** (02:11:22:04 - 02:11:25:19): All right, Mr. Chantry, just don't tell your parents where you're going. Wank, wank.