6 Days to Waikiki, TSA Meltdowns & Kona’s 80-Year-Old Ironwoman 😂🌴 | Sunburnt Podcast Ep. 40

**Thomas** (00:00:00:02 - 00:00:17:01): What up Burnt Ones. This is the sunburnt podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. To my right, as always, is the world's greatest stand comedian. You know him from Tires on Netflix and his amazing stand up special Move Closer. It's Philadelphia's own chip chantry. **Chip** (00:00:17:03 - 00:00:30:20): And over here to my left is Emmy award winning writer and producer. He puts the style in. The only thing my wife left me in the divorce were a pair of umbrellas and my doggy style CD. Thomas O'Brien. **Thomas** (00:00:30:22 - 00:00:32:15): Your ex doesn't like hip hop? **Chip** (00:00:32:17 - 00:00:36:04): No. She at least old school hip hop. I guess I should. **Thomas** (00:00:36:05 - 00:00:41:14): Oh, okay. Okay. Likes the newer stuff, but, left you with that compact disc, which. **Chip** (00:00:41:14 - 00:00:43:15): You can use for a variety of things a coaster. **Thomas** (00:00:43:15 - 00:00:44:12): A coaster, a. **Chip** (00:00:44:12 - 00:00:45:09): Mirror. **Thomas** (00:00:45:11 - 00:00:46:11): Terrible frisbee. **Chip** (00:00:46:12 - 00:00:52:17): By the way. I still own hundreds of compact discs. They're boxed up in the room right next to me. **Thomas** (00:00:52:17 - 00:00:53:09): Interesting. **Chip** (00:00:53:10 - 00:01:01:17): It is the thing that I'm going to one day like. Like either when the end times happen, and everything's off the grid. **Thomas** (00:01:01:18 - 00:01:02:04): Yeah. **Chip** (00:01:02:04 - 00:01:15:05): Or just that memorabilia like that in a state I know there's already. And it's not a 90s nostalgia, but, like, maybe it's a thing for they're really pushing for CDs again. I think I'm, I'm going to be, I'm going to be rolling in the dough, if you will. **Thomas** (00:01:15:06 - 00:01:22:07): Where are you, going for Richard Jewel case? Or have you put them into a tasteful, booklet with sleeves? **Chip** (00:01:22:07 - 00:01:41:05): No, I am I'm 100%, Richard. Joel. Yeah, I got all the cases, up until literally up until we bought this house two years ago, I still had shelves that I built, shelving for my. I think I probably about, like, 800 CDs. Oh, that was. **Thomas** (00:01:41:05 - 00:01:43:19): Your backdrop for, like, you know, early. **Chip** (00:01:43:19 - 00:02:00:12): For early, like, zoom during the pandemic. And, like, if, you know, that old headshot of me where I'm like, adjusting my tie, wearing that suit, it looks almost like bookshelves behind me. It's those are just CDs and DVDs because I live in 1998 and, yeah. So someday they will be worth millions. **Thomas** (00:02:00:12 - 00:02:03:13): Yeah. You just got to wait for them CD-ROMs to come back. **Chip** (00:02:03:13 - 00:02:08:01): You imagine how many hours of AOL I'm going to have? **Thomas** (00:02:08:02 - 00:02:14:20): I can't. Do you have any, place in your life that could play a CD right now, like a car or. **Chip** (00:02:14:21 - 00:02:20:02): I have two, and I use neither. So, by the way, I don't use CD's anymore. I just, I just have them. **Thomas** (00:02:20:04 - 00:02:20:11): Right. **Chip** (00:02:20:11 - 00:02:52:07): So. And I have there's a CD player in my car because it's a 2013 Honda Civic, which I still I don't use because I just use the, you know, my iPhone, you know, whatever. And then, my wife, which we still don't really use, I'd say maybe thrice a year. It's on my wife's the alarm clock that we have in our bedroom that we don't use for an alarm clock, either, because it's just our phones, but it's just the clock that we, you know, when you wake up, you see the digital, see what time it is. That is one of those, like, CD alarm clocks. Where you it can play an alarm or you can play a song to wake you. **Thomas** (00:02:59:22 - 00:03:04:02): Up, or it can play Roll Over me by dollar tree. **Chip** (00:03:04:03 - 00:03:25:20): Roll, roll to me, Thomas. Get those, get those prepositions correct. Roll to me by Michelle. I will say this. When my wife and I first started dating and I would stay over her place, the song that she had for a long time that played when the the alarm would go off at 530 morning, would be How to Save a Life by the fray. What a depressing way to wake up at 530 on a cold Philadelphia morning. **Thomas** (00:03:30:05 - 00:03:36:12): It really is, but I can. It's atmospheric. Dude, I can feel those mornings just hearing that tune. **Chip** (00:03:36:12 - 00:03:40:23): It's better than, like, a jet tune. Do you know anything? If we want to go back to 2005 again. **Thomas** (00:03:40:23 - 00:03:44:05): But yeah, why not wake up sad? You know? **Chip** (00:03:44:07 - 00:03:46:07): Then it's all. It's all up. **Thomas** (00:03:46:08 - 00:03:51:01): All uphill. It's all uphill. Have something to look forward to and then reset. **Chip** (00:03:51:03 - 00:03:52:12): Speaking of looking forward to. **Thomas** (00:03:52:15 - 00:03:56:04): Oh my gosh, I am freezing my bees off buddy. **Chip** (00:03:56:06 - 00:04:04:16): We don't use that type of language, so I don't want to know what B stands for. But man it's cold here in Philadelphia. It's freezing in Los Angeles from what I understand. **Thomas** (00:04:04:17 - 00:04:10:11): Yeah, it'd be better. I'm wearing the sweatshirt here and it's not a fashion statement I am freezing. **Chip** (00:04:10:13 - 00:04:14:19): Okay, well, we're going to keep this. Keep this quick. We're going to keep this brief. Then we're gonna do some calisthenics. **Thomas** (00:04:14:21 - 00:04:15:12): Yep. **Chip** (00:04:15:14 - 00:04:17:01): Thomas, this time next week. **Thomas** (00:04:17:01 - 00:04:17:19): Unbelievable. **Chip** (00:04:17:20 - 00:04:18:13): We're going to be in Hawaii. **Thomas** (00:04:18:14 - 00:04:32:12): It's wild. Dude, we're going, we're going. It's happening. Tickets are booked. It's it's literally this time next week. To the listener. **Chip** (00:04:32:14 - 00:04:33:05): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:04:33:07 - 00:04:40:08): To the viewers. Chip Chantry. Thanksgiving in Paradise will be in the books. It'll be a thing of the past. **Chip** (00:04:40:10 - 00:04:49:21): It'll be. This is coming out. Yeah. So this week, a week from today, from when this is coming out, this will be. It'll be Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. **Thomas** (00:04:49:21 - 00:04:52:22): Happy. Happy week before Thanksgiving, chip. **Chip** (00:04:52:22 - 00:04:56:10): Happy Thanksgiving yuletide to you, Thomas. **Thomas** (00:04:56:12 - 00:05:08:23): All right, we'll get into it. This is the sunburnt podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. If you think those two things should go together, stay tuned. Front desk. **Chip** (00:05:08:23 - 00:05:15:16): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. I just wanted to let you know it's 487 487. **Thomas** (00:05:15:16 - 00:05:15:23): What? **Chip** (00:05:16:00 - 00:05:21:13): Mr. Chantry, it takes 487 bottles of spicy mustard to fill up one of your bathtubs. **Thomas** (00:05:21:16 - 00:05:25:19): Oh, that explains the screaming we heard. **Chip** (00:05:25:21 - 00:05:41:21): Yes, it does, champ. Tommy, I'm. Dude, we are. Okay, so as we as we're like, we are in Hawaii right now. No, I guess we're we're almost in Hawaii as this comes out like, it's just we've we this has been a year leading up to this, dude. **Thomas** (00:05:41:22 - 00:05:47:00): It's been more than a year leading up to this. Like we started talking with the balloon out over a year ago. **Chip** (00:05:47:06 - 00:05:47:21): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:05:47:23 - 00:06:02:15): Like well over a year ago. And, yeah, it's episode 40 of the sunburnt podcast. Six days until Chip Chantry Thanksgiving in Paradise. I'm dude, I am over the moon. You're flying out here tomorrow? **Chip** (00:06:02:16 - 00:06:03:03): Yep. **Thomas** (00:06:03:05 - 00:06:08:22): You're going to be in Los Angeles tomorrow. I totally, glossed over that in my mind. There's so much going. **Chip** (00:06:08:22 - 00:06:20:11): On, it's going to be crazy. I mean, I'm very excited just to get to L.A., which is great. We're just staying down by LAX, which is. Which is fine. But we're going to make the venture up into, like, Hollywood. I think we're going to move on, Frank. You know, for a drink? **Thomas** (00:06:20:12 - 00:06:20:23): Yeah, dude. **Chip** (00:06:21:01 - 00:06:39:14): And, we're just going to hit some small spots. I think we're going to see some of my my, old Philly buddies who were living out there, living in the promised land, and. Yeah. And then, man, then we just get on a plane on that Monday morning. That's going to be wild. I think that's when I really just getting on that plane to go over the Pacific Ocean. **Thomas** (00:06:39:16 - 00:06:40:09): Yes. **Chip** (00:06:40:11 - 00:06:47:14): Yeah. I got some books ready to go. I'm going to be writing my set list out. All right, all right. What's the flight time from LA to Honolulu? **Thomas** (00:06:47:14 - 00:07:04:11): It's kind of like New York to L.A. Philadelphia to LA. Yeah. Once over again. Yeah. So. Yeah. Dude, we're hip hop, and, it looks like the flight restrictions that were imposed even as recently as last week have been lifted. **Chip** (00:07:04:13 - 00:07:04:23): Yes. **Thomas** (00:07:04:23 - 00:07:09:15): So hopefully we're going to have, you know, just real smooth sailing, dude, a little. **Chip** (00:07:09:15 - 00:07:18:08): Less TSA and a little more TNA, if you know what I mean. And by TNA, I mean Turner Network Associates. **Thomas** (00:07:18:10 - 00:07:22:18): That's your promise. That's your promise. And you do like to wear that t shirt through TSA. **Chip** (00:07:22:18 - 00:07:23:19): I do, I really. **Thomas** (00:07:23:20 - 00:07:32:07): I really do. And, I do think it does invite pat downs. You're like 100% on needing to get randomly patted down. **Chip** (00:07:32:09 - 00:07:47:00): Let's just say I bring pistol shaped sandwiches with me. And like, when your mom and like, PB and J. Do you want the cuts crushed off? Cut off? Do you want, do you want to cut down the side or do you want sailboats? Say sailboats. Like, you know. **Thomas** (00:07:47:01 - 00:07:52:03): We didn't have sailboats, chip. I didn't grow up rich. Oh, that's just that's just, **Chip** (00:07:52:04 - 00:08:00:02): My my mother was rich enough to cut our sandwiches diagonally, so it looked like two little sailboats. That's. **Thomas** (00:08:00:04 - 00:08:01:20): Oh, my gosh, it's what you say. **Chip** (00:08:01:20 - 00:08:08:06): And when it comes to PB and JS and most other important things in life, it's the angle of the dangle. **Thomas** (00:08:08:06 - 00:08:10:05): It's directly proportionate to the heat of your made. **Chip** (00:08:10:06 - 00:08:10:20): It really is. **Thomas** (00:08:11:01 - 00:08:14:00): That's a that's a premium angle dude. Yeah a. **Chip** (00:08:14:00 - 00:08:26:16): Diagonal. Yeah diagonal. It is. It is kind of how rich people I feel like eat their sandwiches. Yeah. Rich people really don't eat their sandwiches. They don't cut their sandwiches halfway across. It's it is the diagonal. It's the club sandwich. **Thomas** (00:08:26:16 - 00:08:31:07): That's an angle you get if you belong to a club. Yeah. Have you ever had any problems at TSR? **Chip** (00:08:31:13 - 00:08:33:12): Emotionally, yes. **Thomas** (00:08:33:13 - 00:08:35:04): Now you melted down a couple of times. **Chip** (00:08:35:04 - 00:08:56:15): Yeah. I, I don't want to jinx myself but no, like I feel like I travel pretty light and it's, Yeah. I don't think I've ever had any real issues. I try to be, like, extra. Like I'm somebody who can follow orders and fall in line, and. Yeah. What do you need, sir? Yes, ma'am. Like. And I try to make, you know, it's like. So I get in my head, it's like I just want to do it and it's like, all you want to do is get to the other side. Like, I can only imagine, like trying to cross, like at the Berlin Wall in 1971. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, that's what it's like to me just to get on the other side of that beep and like to put your shoes and belt back on. That's one of the might. That is one of my favorite, like, little moments in life of like, just like putting that belt back on. It's like, I've gotten away with it. I've got away with nothing. Thomas. I, totally going by the letter of the law. There is no paraphernalia that should not be there. I've been professional. I'm not a spy. And then. But, like, just getting through that, being like, all right, now I have an hour, 45 minutes until my flight takes off. Like, it's it's a vacation within a vacation. **Thomas** (00:09:43:13 - 00:09:44:15): I love it that. **Chip** (00:09:44:17 - 00:10:02:17): The only time I had problems. I don't know if I told the story, but I was coming back from Indianapolis this past spring. Again, I don't want to jinx myself, but the bigger airports are crazier. They're. You know, there's more people coming through, but they also generally can they know how to use that volume, you know what I mean? They they we don't mess around. Right. And I was in Indianapolis, which is a little bit more slow, a little bit more like whatever. And it's like I got there in plenty of time and the lines weren't that long. I was like, oh, this is like a quarter of the people that I'm usually behind in Philadelphia airport. Yeah. And it took like twice as long. **Thomas** (00:10:21:18 - 00:10:22:10): Yeah. **Chip** (00:10:22:12 - 00:10:29:00): Because like we're having conversations. And there was this seemed like a nice enough kid. I don't know, kid who's the college age behind me. **Thomas** (00:10:29:03 - 00:10:30:11): An absolute child. **Chip** (00:10:30:13 - 00:10:54:18): And like, he's just like, I'm still like, I don't need six feet. Like. But post-pandemic especially, it's like, I also don't need you touching me or like, in somebody's line. It's like we're all going to the same place, like you're not nobody's cutting. Like, you don't have to be on my bumper, you know? Yeah. And like one time, this young kid, you can tell he's kind of like, bright eyed and kind of like, whatever he like is kind of, like, touching me. Like, he's just so close behind me, and I just kind of, like, just sort of look for a second and then, like, whatever. And then he did it a second time, and I, I turn around, Tommy, I, I'm a nice guy, but I, I'm also from Philadelphia. I can just try and give somebody a oh, somebody from Indianapolis a look. Yeah. And it's just like, oh, you're going to murder me now. And he's like, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, sir. I'm so sorry. I'm like, oh, it's it's good. It's all good. You know, like we're all good. You know, just whatever you say. I'm just I'm sorry. I'm just I'm kind of nervous. I don't have to worry about. It's like, where are you going? He was literally going to. I think the Galapagos Islands. Oh, I think it's like some church, I don't know, mission kind of thing or something like that. We had very nice talk about the Galapagos Islands, and I was like, that's a that's like a pretty cool trip, you know, you should do in the Galapagos Islands, too. Those giant tortoises. Yeah. Just stand right behind them the entire. **Thomas** (00:11:42:10 - 00:11:43:15): Time he it's. **Chip** (00:11:43:15 - 00:11:45:01): Touch him on the back of their shells. **Thomas** (00:11:45:01 - 00:11:47:01): It's rude because they're slow. **Chip** (00:11:47:02 - 00:11:51:12): They are very slow. Just just like the lines at Indianapolis International Airport. **Thomas** (00:11:51:12 - 00:12:04:21): I've had very few problems at the bigger airports. Every time there's been incidents. Been a smaller airport. Yeah. One time I, got pulled over for bringing some, fajita seasoning back from back from Oregon. **Chip** (00:12:04:21 - 00:12:06:09): Oh, yeah, that'll do it. **Thomas** (00:12:06:09 - 00:12:07:22): I had it in my carry on. **Chip** (00:12:08:00 - 00:12:10:11): Rural Oregon, known for their fajita seasoning. **Thomas** (00:12:10:14 - 00:12:30:03): We've got the folks that make the good stuff, chip. And it was a very specific type of fajita seasoning. But I couldn't buy in Los Angeles, which is shocking. It was surprising. It's it's now available. But I, really loaded up on it, brought it in my carry on. And TSA was having no part. **Chip** (00:12:30:03 - 00:12:31:14): Is it liquid or like a powder? **Thomas** (00:12:31:18 - 00:12:46:16): Powder. Okay. Yeah, liquid I would I would have been wise to. But yeah, it was just like powder in a canister. Yeah. And it was factory sealed. Had plastic wrap over it, but they still had to unpack my whole bag, take it out, run a bunch of strips over it. **Chip** (00:12:46:18 - 00:12:48:21): Did they let you, take the fajita season? **Thomas** (00:12:48:21 - 00:12:58:21): They did. After the after they tested everything. But it's like, you know, I pack my bags, especially when I'm carry out only two with an inch of their life. Yes. So there's no easy. **Chip** (00:12:58:21 - 00:12:59:19): Unpacking. **Thomas** (00:12:59:19 - 00:13:16:02): To rip out like I had to. They just threw everything all over the place. Got to the seasoning, and then I had to. Yeah, like a little scientist. Get back in there and pack everything up. I'm so cold, chip, I cannot wait to be in Hawaii. I could. **Chip** (00:13:16:02 - 00:13:18:14): Even get the story. That's I am. Oh, my God, so cold. **Thomas** (00:13:18:14 - 00:13:21:12): I. I hate being cold. **Chip** (00:13:21:14 - 00:13:36:01): It's the worst I've been. I've been having to walk. Yeah, I walk the dog every day and every night and, you know, three times a day. And it's just the wind. I don't mind the cold. I'm going to say that too much. I don't love the cold. I don't like cold. Wind to me is the worst thing in the. **Thomas** (00:13:36:01 - 00:13:37:05): Oh yeah, it's the worst. **Chip** (00:13:37:05 - 00:13:43:19): True, right? It's God's worst invention. If I could, if I could. God's worst invention was the wind. **Thomas** (00:13:43:20 - 00:13:52:18): Having the baby like nothing's more confusing to her than wind. And I don't blame her. It's just like, you see, it hit her face and the look is just like. **Chip** (00:13:52:20 - 00:13:53:13): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:13:53:15 - 00:13:59:21): It's like, why would you think wind is a thing? Like, what do you. What do you think that is? How do you explain that to somebody who doesn't have words? **Chip** (00:13:59:21 - 00:14:16:08): The thing when I lived in LA for that, for that short time that it got me about the winds there, I guess the Santa Ana winds or whatever winds is that like in, in, on the East Coast and like in Philadelphia, whatever. I think partially it has to do with like the buildings are blocking part of the wind or whatever. But like even just growing up in the suburbs, like there's you'd have wind gusts and there'd be winds and like generally it's maybe coming from the west, but then it's swirling or whatever. Yeah. And it's like there's movement of the wind during like it's so there's gusts and whatever. And then when it's a windy day in Los Angeles, it's just like somebody put on a giant fan and it just goes straight one direction, the same speed for just hours. It's yeah, it is. It's one of the most bizarre things I've ever. It's just like it's like walking into, like a giant fan. It's it's very strange. It's union. **Thomas** (00:14:54:00 - 00:15:10:17): Rules. It's. Yeah, it is. I mean, it's an industry town and, you know, they just they just had to get real with the weather and say, if we're going to be shooting on location here in Los Angeles, we're going to need some consistency in the wind, or else you are going to face union dues. **Chip** (00:15:10:17 - 00:15:21:22): I get it, there's union dues and union don'ts. I will say, yeah. And do you know it's, is that I will say this. I still remember one day I was going to our, I was going to the Comedy Garage. **Thomas** (00:15:21:23 - 00:15:24:15): Thomas, the comedy guru, employed me. **Chip** (00:15:24:17 - 00:15:32:19): In beautiful Burbank, California. I was living in beautiful Van Nuys. Stuff, like, so much. I don't think I'm going to get to Van Nuys this next weekend, but not. **Thomas** (00:15:32:19 - 00:15:33:15): With that attitude. **Chip** (00:15:33:15 - 00:15:40:20): Chip, is there enough that at it? Yeah, but every morning I would walk to the bus because I would take the bus, through the valley on it to this day. **Thomas** (00:15:40:21 - 00:15:41:21): Still bus nice. **Chip** (00:15:42:01 - 00:15:50:18): Walking to and from the bus, walking to and like taking the bus across the valley. Just what. NoHo. Sherman Oaks. **Thomas** (00:15:50:19 - 00:15:51:12): Yeah. **Chip** (00:15:51:14 - 00:15:52:12): What am I missing. **Thomas** (00:15:52:12 - 00:15:53:19): You got the biggest you rolled through. **Chip** (00:15:53:22 - 00:16:11:15): I just, I just have such great memories. But I remember one morning walking to the bus, and just in this, you know, it's, it's residential, it's houses and some strip malls and then just something I've never seen outside of a cartoon before. Thomas, a tumbleweed just. **Thomas** (00:16:11:15 - 00:16:12:20): Comes across. **Chip** (00:16:12:22 - 00:16:34:04): The street, and I took a photo of it. I was just like this is. I didn't know this was real. And it was. It was gigantic. It was the size of me. And it just tumbled across the street, and I was like, I, I it's you're just blown away by the little things. And by the way, I think that's what I'm looking forward to most in Hawaii is not necessarily tumbleweeds. Yeah, I'm going to see any of those, but like just the flora, the fauna, just seeing things that I've probably never seen before in person. So I'm very excited about that. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:16:45:06 - 00:16:51:03): That's one of my favorite parts about traveling is seeing just like the the things that are the same but different. **Chip** (00:16:51:08 - 00:16:52:16): Like, yeah. **Thomas** (00:16:52:17 - 00:16:55:09): When I go to the East Coast. **Chip** (00:16:55:11 - 00:16:56:21): And I see, like. **Thomas** (00:16:56:23 - 00:17:04:23): A black squirrel. Yeah. Like that's that. That blew my mind the first time I saw that, I was like, there's different colors of squirrels. **Chip** (00:17:04:23 - 00:17:06:10): Yeah, it's kind of wild. **Thomas** (00:17:06:11 - 00:17:09:07): We just got the, the fuzzy browns road. **Chip** (00:17:09:09 - 00:17:16:19): Yeah. Speed of black of course I am as we speak I have a, I mean this is how. **Thomas** (00:17:16:19 - 00:17:23:05): I'm saying oh like it's, I got no context but you tell me you were setting up squirrel traps. **Chip** (00:17:23:05 - 00:17:42:03): Yes I have there is a squirrel trap in my back on my back wall right now behind my whole house in Philadelphia. Because we have what is what we believe to be a squirrel in our ceiling that comes in at night and like, nests. And we've done everything to we have a clean home. We've had roofers out twice. We've had an exterminator out to look. They see no way that a squirrel can could get into our edifice. We they think it's coming a few houses down and, like, coming through the ceilings, so we don't really have too much jurisdiction. So I am now trying to trap a squirrel and take it to the, take it, like, drive it ten miles away. You have to drive it, like, at least five miles away, or it will find its way back. Just like children. Just like children? Yeah. You have to drive. A child at least five miles away will find its way back. Yeah, and, So, yeah, I'm just excited to get it. So speaking. And so then there's that, right? Yeah. And then there is this very sweet lady who lives a couple doors down from me who is beside herself right now. She's lived in this house most of her life. She's never had a mouse, or at least never seen one. Yeah, and she saw a mouse the other night and is is just apoplectic. And I helped her. I went over to her home last night and helped her set, like, ten mousetraps and place them around her house. I was like, this is overkill. This is overkill. **Thomas** (00:18:47:09 - 00:18:54:00): Is this is this is this how you slowly break it to me? That on the side you are an exterminator. **Chip** (00:18:54:02 - 00:19:08:05): I like what I'm trying to say is we are we are just sort of, rolling out this these last few episodes of this podcast. I won't be available because I, I did put a down payment on a van. **Thomas** (00:19:08:10 - 00:19:09:10): Yeah. **Chip** (00:19:09:12 - 00:19:16:06): And, yeah, I'm ready to, get rid of any pests and other, yeah. **Thomas** (00:19:16:09 - 00:19:25:14): It's not like I also, it's not a great name you have for the company, but it does have, like a ring to it chant trees, rat trees. **Chip** (00:19:25:16 - 00:19:26:21): Yeah it is. **Thomas** (00:19:26:23 - 00:19:28:03): It's not great, but. **Chip** (00:19:28:06 - 00:19:34:01): I, it has a little bit of zing to it. I did have an idea. Thomas, you and I are is looking for ideas. **Thomas** (00:19:34:01 - 00:19:37:16): We are always looking for ideas. I'm on the hunt for a good idea. **Chip** (00:19:37:21 - 00:19:58:09): So now that this podcast is over and I'm going to become a full time exterminator. Yeah, I do think we should still be screenwriters. Okay, writing some scripts together. Yep. I had this idea as I was dealing with some of these pests. What if you and I, picturesque? We're. I'm not an actor. You're more of an actor than me, but, like, picture you and I maybe like another guy or two. We're exterminators. Okay, okay. You ready? Yeah, but not for, like, small but you know rodents. **Thomas** (00:20:05:15 - 00:20:06:23): **Chip** (00:20:07:01 - 00:20:08:02): But for ghosts. **Thomas** (00:20:08:03 - 00:20:09:17): Busting. Yeah. Yeah. **Chip** (00:20:09:22 - 00:20:22:13): But we're like exterminators for ghosts. Okay. I like a city has a ghost problem. And we have scientifically figured out a way to, dispose of those ghosts. **Thomas** (00:20:22:15 - 00:20:26:10): I love it. I mean, this this thing writes itself or. **Chip** (00:20:26:13 - 00:20:30:13): Okay, I was also thinking about this, too. I am sort of a ritzy young guy. I have a membership at a country club. I love playing golf. You are the young, upstart, scrappy, lower income caddie at that golf course. Your friends and my friends sort of clash. **Thomas** (00:20:51:04 - 00:20:52:10): **Chip** (00:20:53:12 - 00:20:55:15): In the clubhouse where the caddies hang out. **Thomas** (00:20:55:21 - 00:20:56:16): **Chip** (00:20:56:18 - 00:20:58:16): I thought that could be a script. And it in and of itself. **Thomas** (00:20:58:20 - 00:21:03:08): Yeah, it's, I mean it's got upstairs, downstairs, tones. **Chip** (00:21:03:10 - 00:21:04:04): Right. **Thomas** (00:21:04:06 - 00:21:07:01): Everybody loves golf. It's a universal game. **Chip** (00:21:07:03 - 00:21:23:10): Right. And speaking of which, speaking of my new, career as a as a, an exterminator, I was going to say Terminator, but I don't melt into silver. I was thinking maybe the movie could also have an adorable. **Thomas** (00:21:23:12 - 00:21:33:23): Gopher that puts a bow on it. That's both him that's exterminating. That is golfing. That's bridging the gap. Yeah. In addition to an exterminator. **Chip** (00:21:34:01 - 00:21:34:21): **Thomas** (00:21:34:23 - 00:21:45:14): Have you considered being a professional plagiarize her. Because I do think you have a knack for seeing what other people have done and then. **Chip** (00:21:45:18 - 00:21:47:02): Making it my. **Thomas** (00:21:47:02 - 00:21:49:21): Own. Making it your own. Yeah. **Chip** (00:21:49:23 - 00:21:56:23): I could do it all day. I'm an ideas man. I'm a, I'm an, other people's idea man, but I am. Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (00:21:57:00 - 00:22:00:01): You you're a curator of ideas. **Chip** (00:22:00:03 - 00:22:01:09): That's basically what I. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:22:01:15 - 00:22:02:21): Chantry shack. **Chip** (00:22:02:23 - 00:22:05:02): Yes. Chantry shack. That's what I was going to call it. **Thomas** (00:22:05:07 - 00:22:30:05): Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you really do personalize it by putting your name in a lot of the reimagined titles, which I do appreciate. Yeah. Toad, I'm so freaking excited. Speaking of wind, have you come across on the socials? The clips of, a young whippersnapper who brings an electric, like, what do you call it? The things that blow leaves a. **Chip** (00:22:31:14 - 00:22:35:01): Leaf leaf blower. Those things that blow leaves I electric. **Thomas** (00:22:35:02 - 00:22:37:03): I call it a leaf, a Chantry blower. **Chip** (00:22:37:05 - 00:22:41:17): Yeah, I would call it Caddyshack, but whatever. Yeah. Tomato, tomato, tomato. **Thomas** (00:22:41:19 - 00:23:04:20): He's got one of the electric leaf blowers. I'm so cold right now. And he, sneaks up behind, beautiful, all beautiful angels of ladies who happen to be wearing fashionable wigs. And he gets an ankle right underneath them when they walk by him, and he just blows them up there. Oh, my God, it's so mean. It's so mean. He only does it to beautiful angels. **Chip** (00:23:07:22 - 00:23:14:15): So I would say, yeah. Like how many beautiful angels are walking around wearing wigs? **Thomas** (00:23:14:17 - 00:23:21:22): This guy I think in certain communities, certain demographics, a wig is a much more common accessory than others. I mean. **Chip** (00:23:21:22 - 00:23:37:22): That is gutsy. I have not seen this. The thing that I'm getting fed a lot right now, I feel like I go through these. You go through these feet. Do you ever see that where it'll be like a certain guy or certain like the. And you're like, oh, I used to see this all the time. And then they just stopped showing it to me for a few months, and now he's back. I am now of the videos of the guy that's, like, painted gold, like a statue of a cowboy. **Thomas** (00:23:46:14 - 00:23:47:14): Oh, yeah. **Chip** (00:23:47:14 - 00:23:59:12): And he sits there on a bench, and then people come and sit with him thinking he's a statue. And then he, like, moves. Yeah, that's basically what I'm dealing with right now in my in my life and my, my phone life as well. **Thomas** (00:23:59:14 - 00:24:00:21): It's it's so good. **Chip** (00:24:00:21 - 00:24:17:19): I by the way, I think that's how I'm going to get this squirrel. I'm going to dress up. You ready for this? Yeah. Paint myself like a statue. Right. Sit in my back area. My little backyard area. Wait for the squirrel to come up on me, and then that's when I get them. So when I get. **Thomas** (00:24:17:19 - 00:24:33:01): Them, that's the way to do it, dude. Yeah. These traps, these there. See him coming a mile away? Yeah, I know, like Home Depot traps, but all of a sudden, Ben Franklin's in the backyard. Hasn't moved in 30 minutes. Now, it must be a statue. **Chip** (00:24:33:03 - 00:24:34:21): Yeah, I got to sit on bfs lap. **Thomas** (00:24:34:21 - 00:24:39:19): What is. What is Ben Franklin? Have half a bag and that's open on his lap. **Chip** (00:24:39:21 - 00:24:48:08): He, from from what I've learned from his history, he had half a bag of nuts open all over the globe, both sides of the pond. **Thomas** (00:24:48:08 - 00:25:13:00): Little guy got busy. I remember seeing a list that he wrote, about. He was trying to become a perfect human being. He was always moving towards perfection. Yeah, and he kept a list of all his sins. Chip. And, towards the, you know, as he progressed in his life, he got better and better at not setting. And like, the last years, just pristine. No sense, really no sense. **Chip** (00:25:15:01 - 00:25:38:19): I'm sure he was a perfect human being. Yeah. You know, he used to do this is pretty amazing. He was such an entrepreneur and kind of like a showman. Like a puppy. Barnum. Almost. You know, like. Yeah, he was a businessman at heart. He would walk around Old City Philadelphia. I live not too far from there. Yeah, and at lunch time especially, he literally had this wheelbarrow filled with books. **Thomas** (00:25:38:21 - 00:25:40:01): Right. **Chip** (00:25:40:03 - 00:26:10:00): And at lunchtime, he would take the wheelbarrow out of his office, and he would just hastily walk around the square, basically like up and down the street, hastily with a wheelbarrow full of books. He wasn't reading them necessarily. I mean, at some point he was, but like, it was just for show to show people how busy and smart he was that he's walking around with a wheelbarrow full of books hastily, and they're like, we got to get that on this guy's train. He is going places. He is. He's a mover and shaker. He's reading all this literature and all these like, how to books. And it was just for show. He would just do a quick like thing and then go out and be like. And people were people were wowed by it. **Thomas** (00:26:22:15 - 00:26:23:23): What a marketer did. **Chip** (00:26:24:01 - 00:26:37:22): What if we could go back to colonial times like to that and just give our insights is almost we had some sort of vessel like, I don't know, like make it showy, make it kind of fun, make it little sexy, like, I don't know, let's just say a hot tub. **Thomas** (00:26:38:00 - 00:26:39:18): Okay. Yeah. **Chip** (00:26:39:19 - 00:26:42:23): We get a hot tub. We can travel through time. **Thomas** (00:26:43:01 - 00:26:44:05): Yeah. I mean. **Chip** (00:26:44:05 - 00:26:45:14): Just another idea I have. What would you. **Thomas** (00:26:45:14 - 00:26:46:21): Call that joke? **Chip** (00:26:46:23 - 00:26:50:09): Jacuzzi, traveling. I think. **Thomas** (00:26:50:11 - 00:26:51:18): It's got a ring to it, too. **Chip** (00:26:51:19 - 00:26:52:17): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:26:52:19 - 00:26:56:06): I like it, dude. Another another fantastic idea. **Chip** (00:26:56:08 - 00:26:57:06): You're welcome. **Thomas** (00:26:57:07 - 00:27:03:17): Another fantastic idea. Dude, I'm still so cold. Which only makes me more excited that we're going to Hawaii. **Chip** (00:27:03:17 - 00:27:25:03): But you're freezing. But we're going away. I need you to tell me a little bit more, because you are the seasoned, Hawaiian traveler. And my wife and I haven't gone. Tell us one thing you've talked about. Like the beach on the first day and that type of thing. Yeah. Tell us, like, about one excursion or one. Just something we're going to do or we're going to experience when we're there. Okay. Walk me. Walk me through one of it to get me. I'm excited, but get me even more excited. **Thomas** (00:27:29:06 - 00:27:37:21): The Waimea Botanical Gardens. All right, so this is excursion day. We're renting that car first thing in the morning. We're looking at a couple of. Did you did you get your car yet? **Chip** (00:27:37:22 - 00:27:40:12): Not yet. I'm going to. I think we're going to go. I think we're gonna go. Smart car. **Thomas** (00:27:40:12 - 00:27:42:15): All right. Do you can this this place called. **Chip** (00:27:42:15 - 00:27:45:01): 808888808. **Thomas** (00:27:45:01 - 00:28:02:18): Rentals. You can rent a smart car for like, 33 or $31 a day. Something wild like that. Me and my wife did it. The first couple of times we went to Hawaii, and it's just like a fun experience. Dude, you can get like this. The world's smallest convertible. I don't even know if they're supposed to go on the freeway. But you're right on the freeway. Sure, the freeway and Hawaii, I think, only goes like 45 miles an hour. So you're. **Chip** (00:28:08:22 - 00:28:09:13): Okay? **Thomas** (00:28:09:15 - 00:28:26:21): Okay. But, dude, you take the, you get this tiny little car and you're driving around and you get to the Waimea Botanical Gardens. I believe that's what it's called. And, dude, you you walk in through the gates, you're going to see some man. Guess there's a peacock rolling around. **Chip** (00:28:26:21 - 00:28:34:11): So wait. Okay. You kind of. I mean, you just kind of kind of dropped the word monkeys there. Walk me through that just a little bit. **Thomas** (00:28:34:14 - 00:28:38:22): No, we've talked we've talked about monkey mongoose before. The monkeys. **Chip** (00:28:38:22 - 00:28:40:16): So they're just out there doing their thing. **Thomas** (00:28:40:17 - 00:28:43:11): They're they're squirrels. They're people out of their squirrels. **Chip** (00:28:43:15 - 00:28:44:18): But they're bigger, right? **Thomas** (00:28:44:19 - 00:28:51:22): They've got longer tails, maybe. Okay, longer flatter tails, but okay, you see him and you're like, not a squirrel, but squirrel adjacent. **Chip** (00:28:51:23 - 00:28:52:18): Okay. **Thomas** (00:28:52:20 - 00:28:56:15): Rikki tikki Taffy. Yeah. Was a mongoose. **Chip** (00:28:56:17 - 00:28:57:21): He was. **Thomas** (00:28:57:23 - 00:29:19:23): So you get there, there's there's definitely a peacock rolling around. You're going to see lots of geckos, but it's like this preserve for all of the native Hawaiian plants, like. Yeah, they've got a bunch of. It's kind of in this canyon and you walk through a bunch of different elevations. They've got like traditional architecture of the native people. They've got like some of their, you know, buildings set up there in good working order. It's got a lot of history, but it's also got like all of the plants you're going to find there in Hawaii. For the most part, it's like a really nice mix. And it ends at a waterfall like this that spills into this nice little reservoir, this nice little lake that's, one of the few waterfalls you're allowed to, swim in that way. **Chip** (00:29:44:00 - 00:29:45:12): Yeah. And have you swam in it? **Thomas** (00:29:45:14 - 00:30:04:08): No, it's, it's, I have not personally, like, you kind of have to, you got to wait in the line, or I think you had to get a life jacket or something. Yeah. I don't know. There's just so much to see. There's so much to do. And, Yeah, I, in Hawaii, I'm never, like, short on opportunities to get in that that ocean, dude. **Chip** (00:30:04:08 - 00:30:05:04): Yeah, yeah. **Thomas** (00:30:05:04 - 00:30:21:18): And spending a lot of time in the water. I do not need to wait in the line to get into a lake. But you can do it if if swimming in a waterfall is on your bucket list. Sure. A lot of the waterfalls, like, have some bacteria that might be harmful or for different reasons, you might be harmful to that water. So like most of them, you're not supposed to go in. But this is one that's like that's okay, okay. It's say okay, it's set up. **Chip** (00:30:27:16 - 00:30:34:12): I mean, it sounds great. I love waterfalls, but I'm also not going to be out there chasing them. **Thomas** (00:30:34:14 - 00:30:38:05): Another great idea. Don't go chasing waterfalls. **Chip** (00:30:38:10 - 00:30:39:06): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:30:39:08 - 00:30:57:20): So that's, and there's a nice little gift shop. I there's, there's something to me about, like, museums and, you know, like, outdoor gardens or whatever it is when they got, like, I love that coffee. There's. I always get, like, a hot coffee at one of those places. **Chip** (00:30:57:22 - 00:30:58:07): Okay? **Thomas** (00:30:58:07 - 00:31:02:19): And it fills my belly with warmth and joy. **Chip** (00:31:02:21 - 00:31:07:20): Beautiful. I see. Okay, now I'm just over the moon. Excited. Yeah. The botanicals. **Thomas** (00:31:07:20 - 00:31:12:16): Yeah, it's going to be. It's going to be good. It's, It's a real nice experience. **Chip** (00:31:12:18 - 00:31:14:05): Yeah. Beautiful. **Thomas** (00:31:14:07 - 00:31:23:21): And that's one chip I hit you with. One. It's a hard one. I hit you with one. It's going to be awesome. And that's, you know, sandwiched in between, Foodland. Pokey on the North Shore. **Chip** (00:31:23:21 - 00:31:25:03): I am very excited about that. **Thomas** (00:31:25:05 - 00:31:45:10): Seeing pipeline. Seeing pipe, the, the big serving brick. Yeah. It's, it's not quite as big as it will be in a month or two because, like, the winter straight up is one of the biggest waves. But it's coming on strong. It's like it's it's no joke. It's it's intense, intense waves. It's really, really wild to see with your own eyes. **Chip** (00:31:45:12 - 00:31:56:18): By the way, that is a line that I've used a number of times in my younger life is, look, it's not as big as it's going to be about. **Thomas** (00:31:56:19 - 00:32:09:22): Yeah, that's definitely true. But do it. And that's this is all after us just spending three, four, five day whatever it is, just chilling on the beach in Waikiki. **Chip** (00:32:10:04 - 00:32:13:05): So that's I mean, that's the thing that I, I'm very excited about as well. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:32:13:07 - 00:32:29:19): Yeah. You just got to get there. I got to settle in. If you're in Waikiki, come hang out. Come say hi. We're going to be around, cars and cars and a ruckus all week, and, yeah, we're just looking to mix it up with burnt ones and have the best time possible. **Chip** (00:32:29:21 - 00:32:31:07): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:32:31:09 - 00:32:33:12): In Hawaii, dude, it's like. **Chip** (00:32:33:14 - 00:32:37:19): Let's just say we can call it a weekend with burnt ones. **Thomas** (00:32:37:21 - 00:32:46:15): Oh, yeah. So we get burned with burnt ones. We can better ones. I call not it on being the dead guy. **Chip** (00:32:46:17 - 00:32:49:07): Yeah, let's. We'll flip a coin when we get there. **Thomas** (00:32:49:09 - 00:32:59:12): Well, they're cheap. I, we're going to keep this one brief because we got. We got packing to do. We got stuff to make happen. But, well, first of all, it's freezing cold. **Chip** (00:32:59:15 - 00:33:00:19): Yeah, we got to. **Thomas** (00:33:00:21 - 00:33:02:13): I got to get a slather going. **Chip** (00:33:02:15 - 00:33:07:23): We got a slab of this on the get a little, oh, Hawaiian Tropics on there. Get that feel. **Thomas** (00:33:08:02 - 00:33:13:04): To. Yeah, yeah, we're going to be there, sister. Man, this is really. **Chip** (00:33:13:06 - 00:33:18:09): Reef safe, baby. Reef safe. We're going to pick some of that reef safe stuff up. Yeah, on the island. **Thomas** (00:33:18:12 - 00:33:22:22): Well, dude, I think it's time. It's time to. It's time to visit the Good Book. **Chip** (00:33:23:01 - 00:33:49:04): Yeah. Let's crack open the good book. We do it every episode. We're not just about tropical. There it is right there. Thomas is brandishing it. It's, This this podcast is not just about tropical vacations. Not just about comedy. We like to observe, just triumphs of the human spirit, of the animal spirit of the flora, spirit of just the best of the best. The Guinness Book of World Records. Thomas, do you want to start us off, this time? What is your record? **Thomas** (00:33:54:05 - 00:34:08:19): My record this week blends the Hawaiian Islands, which we are going to very shortly, with. One of the most impressive records I can even imagine. **Chip** (00:34:08:21 - 00:34:09:22): Oh. All right. **Thomas** (00:34:10:00 - 00:34:19:13): Yep, yep. I have found the record for the oldest female ever to compete in the Ironman World Championships. **Chip** (00:34:19:15 - 00:34:20:15): Whoa. **Thomas** (00:34:20:17 - 00:34:30:12): Natalie Scarbrough, got to Kailua-Kona, Hawaii to do the Ironman triathlon this October 11th. **Chip** (00:34:30:12 - 00:34:31:17): This year, this year. **Thomas** (00:34:31:17 - 00:34:40:00): And for those of you who don't know, an Ironman is when you know it's that thing of when you swim 2.4 miles. **Chip** (00:34:40:00 - 00:34:41:01): Right there, I'd be dead. **Thomas** (00:34:41:01 - 00:34:48:13): Yeah. And then you do a 112 mile bike ride and follow that up with a full marathon 26.2 miles. **Chip** (00:34:48:18 - 00:34:54:18): It's just a full marathon itself is crazy to me. And then to do all of that ahead of time, back. **Thomas** (00:34:54:18 - 00:35:17:07): To back to back. Yeah. And let's just I mean, this is the oldest person to ever do it, at least the oldest woman. And she's a product of the 1940s chip. She did it this year. She was born in 1945 making her 80 years and 69 days old. Oh my God, when she set out to do it. And she has like, this incredible backstory. Like when she was coming up, girls didn't really play a lot of organized sports. So she kind of, you know, did her own thing. She did some singing. She, like, played a little bit of tennis, I believe. **Chip** (00:35:28:06 - 00:35:28:13): Okay. **Thomas** (00:35:28:13 - 00:35:50:07): And then, in her 30s, her late 30s, she started doing a little bit of running, and in her 40s and 50s, she started doing five K's and half marathons for fun. And she didn't even learn how to swim, learn how to swim, chop, not not become an expert swimmer. She didn't learn how to swim until she was 59 years old. **Chip** (00:35:50:09 - 00:35:55:02): She couldn't even get in the water until she's almost 60. AARP age. **Thomas** (00:35:55:04 - 00:36:02:09): She could do water activities that didn't require swimming. Like, sure, Jacuzzi time traveling. **Chip** (00:36:02:11 - 00:36:10:06): Of course. Yeah. And if she would, maybe she would have made herself younger to start competing younger. But. Hey, man, it's working for you. Yeah, she probably stay in the same timeline. **Thomas** (00:36:10:07 - 00:36:23:16): Yeah, yeah. Now she's she's doing things the best way possible. Yeah, but, yeah. Down 80 years old and 69 days. When she did a full Ironman triathlon. **Chip** (00:36:23:16 - 00:36:26:18): Swam two and a half miles, biked over 100. **Thomas** (00:36:26:21 - 00:36:30:06): What's what's your comfort level swimming champ? You you big swimmer. **Chip** (00:36:30:08 - 00:36:31:23): Like a lap. **Thomas** (00:36:32:01 - 00:36:33:02): Yeah, like I I'm. **Chip** (00:36:33:06 - 00:36:55:05): Yeah. I'm not like a big swimmer. Like I, I can swim, I know how to swim, but like, it's not like I'm going for distance. Like especially open water swimming. Like. And they say that like I know a woman who used to do some triathlete type stuff or like she was a competitive swimmer, like through college and like when you're swimming in that open water, especially when there's a bunch of people when you're racing. Yeah. She had a guy one time who, like, basically started going down, like I think he was like he was getting exhausted. And basically he just sort of latched on to her, like grabbed her basically like start like pulling her down with him. And it's like, what do you do at that point? You try to save this guy? Is is he doing something? You know, that's not like it just is he cheating? Is he, like, whatever. But it was just like, it's like that, man, I just yeah, I would not be comfortable. I don't think doing that, that open water swimming. **Thomas** (00:37:27:07 - 00:37:36:21): I think of myself as a decent swimmer. But it's like, yeah, everybody knows that feeling. If you've been out on a boat of like being like, I'm not that far away from shore, I'm going to jump out and swim in. **Chip** (00:37:36:23 - 00:37:40:21): Oh, it's the longest I used to do that up in Maine, in the Bay. And it is. **Thomas** (00:37:40:21 - 00:37:55:23): Yeah. You're a quarter of the way where you think you're going, and you're just like, I should have been there half an hour ago. And I am dead tired. Yeah, dog tired, but 2.4 miles in the ocean. Give me a friggin break at 80 years old. Come on. Yeah. **Chip** (00:37:56:01 - 00:37:56:10): Good for. **Thomas** (00:37:56:10 - 00:38:07:23): Her. Yeah. So hats off to you, Natalie. You have the admiration of burnt ones everywhere. And, here's to doing another Ironman well into your 90s. **Chip** (00:38:08:01 - 00:38:09:00): Huzzah. **Thomas** (00:38:09:01 - 00:38:16:23): Huzzah! Kailua-Kona. Great portion of the Big Island. Great portion. Chip. What about you, man? What's your record this week? **Chip** (00:38:17:01 - 00:38:22:17): All right, this one is kind of similar. You know, I'm on a kick. Thomas, of traversing the Pacific Ocean. **Thomas** (00:38:22:22 - 00:38:26:00): Yeah, yeah, dude, we we we got into it last week. **Chip** (00:38:26:00 - 00:38:37:00): We talked about Amelia Earhart. The first solo flight across. You're talking about swimmin off the coast of Hawaii? I went for a little less human one than Natalie. **Thomas** (00:38:37:02 - 00:38:38:18): Okay. **Chip** (00:38:38:20 - 00:38:42:22): But I think just as impressive I like. Are you ready? **Thomas** (00:38:43:03 - 00:38:43:19): I'm ready. **Chip** (00:38:43:19 - 00:38:51:11): That is the record for the longest nonstop migration by a bird. **Thomas** (00:38:51:13 - 00:38:54:14): Oh. All right. **Chip** (00:38:54:16 - 00:39:20:05): And I emphasized the nonstop. Okay. Yes, we all know that birds fly south for the winter, right? They got to get somewhere, they leave. You got to get to those warmer, those warmer breezes. They want to get away. And this is, by the way, this is not like a species of bird. This is like a specific bird. Like not a. **Thomas** (00:39:21:07 - 00:39:23:14): Woodpecker, but Woody the woodpecker. **Chip** (00:39:23:16 - 00:39:39:08): Exactly. Yes. This is this is Woody the woodpecker. This is a bar tailed god, whit a bar tailed god. Whit. Okay. Known by its tag. Number 234684. **Thomas** (00:39:39:10 - 00:39:40:08): Yeah. **Chip** (00:39:40:10 - 00:39:52:22): Or to his friends, they call him 684 for short. Or just, Johnny needle beak. Well, you know, that's what that's what they call. So he is one of these birds. They, you know, naturalists have tagged this bird. **Thomas** (00:39:53:00 - 00:39:53:09): Yeah. **Chip** (00:39:53:11 - 00:40:02:15): He's got a little satellite, like, thing on his back, you know, like, so they can they can tell, you know, like. Yeah. Got the little the little chip in there. **Thomas** (00:40:02:17 - 00:40:05:11): They they tracking. They see. They see your boy comin. **Chip** (00:40:05:13 - 00:40:40:05): They they're tracking them. They got the GPS on him. Okay. He flew okay. 8435 miles, 8435 miles from Alaska to the Australian state of Tasmania, without stopping for food or rest straight across the Pacific. It. Okay, so he broke the record for the longest nonstop migration. So these bird that's. **Thomas** (00:40:40:05 - 00:40:41:10): Not stowed. **Chip** (00:40:41:12 - 00:41:02:02): It. He it's not like he stopped at an island because they track him. So they know like oh he touched down at this island and they even took like an hour rest or whatever. It got some food. Yeah. No. So first of all, they can track his movements. He moved the whole time. And he has the type of feet he doesn't have webbed feet, like. Yeah, like a duck or a goose or whatever. Yeah. So, like, if he landed in the water, they're basically like, he's dead. Like he can't get basically get out of the water because he's just got the, you know, those like, regular, you know, bird feet that he wouldn't be able to push off of. It took him. So he, left from Alaska on October 13th, 2022. And 11 days later, 11 straight days he landed in Tasmania, of course, Tasmania, made famous by the devil and Yahoo serious. This bird who is in general these birds are about 16in long. They got a wingspan of about 30in. So you're looking at like a seagull kind of situation. You know, he's got this big long beak and, he, he just flew for 11 straight days without touching down. He they what these birds do. Apparently, they gained a lot of weight in Alaska, you know, Alaska. Great food. **Thomas** (00:42:03:22 - 00:42:08:03): You can grow some husky, husky boys and girls in Alaska. **Chip** (00:42:08:05 - 00:42:37:09): A lot of husky birds up there. And, scientists believe that he probably lost about half of his body weight in this. I mean, talk about, you know, really slimming down Biggest Loser style. Half his body weight. Yeah, great. But these birds have this, like, weird thing that they can do where they can basically, like, shrink the size of their vital organs somehow to, like, shrink or I guess they don't need to like, I don't know, like, utilize as much energy or what have you. So which is this weird thing where. But he flew for 11 straight days, probably lost half of his body weight. And so what they think is that, like a lot of them, they've tracked these other birds where they'll go, you know, straight through the Pacific. And a lot of times the land in New Zealand, which is, you know, a decent amount closer, it's not a whole lot closer, but it is obviously closer than getting to South Australia or, you know, the island, I guess, of Tasmania right off there it's a little bit closer. But they think this guy made a left hand turn, made a hard left when maybe he shouldn't have. **Thomas** (00:43:09:14 - 00:43:10:03): At Albury. **Chip** (00:43:10:03 - 00:43:15:16): Just went the extra number of miles. Maybe. I think it's maybe like a thousand more miles, I forget, just. **Thomas** (00:43:15:16 - 00:43:16:15): A thousand more miles. **Chip** (00:43:16:15 - 00:43:36:02): Just a thousand more miles, whatever it is. And, he went all the way to Tasmania and, just is, I've done some updates because obviously he's still tracked, this bird. 234684. He now resides in Tasmania, where he has a very lucrative career as an Ozempic spokesperson. **Thomas** (00:43:36:04 - 00:43:46:01): Well, the proof is in the pudding. Did you lose half your body weight in 11 days? And, the. Yeah. What are they, GPL ones? Those companies are going to be all over your bones. **Chip** (00:43:46:01 - 00:43:48:10): Road all over your bird bones. I just can't. **Thomas** (00:43:48:12 - 00:43:57:16): I'm trying to put in context, like, I think I want to say. Like who? What? I mean, I do not know how. It's a six hour flight. **Chip** (00:43:57:18 - 00:43:57:23): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:43:57:23 - 00:44:08:08): And we're going like 600mph roughly. So I mean, like, what's that, 36, 100 miles. **Chip** (00:44:08:10 - 00:44:11:10): So it's like halfway because he went what did I say 8000. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:44:11:10 - 00:44:31:17): He went over double that and I, I'm not I'm looking forward to getting to a way. But I'm not looking forward to being on a plane for six hours. Yeah. Much less being the plan. Yeah. In a sense for 11 days knowing that if I need to touch down I'm dead I'm sure. **Chip** (00:44:31:19 - 00:44:32:02): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:44:32:08 - 00:44:41:11): I had the Iron Man triathlon but the Iron Bird triathlon is way more intense. **Chip** (00:44:41:13 - 00:44:42:05): Yes. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:44:42:06 - 00:44:51:06): It's flying for 8000 miles. And then it's hopping for, you know what. I don't know five, six seven miles. **Chip** (00:44:54:05 - 00:44:55:03): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:44:55:05 - 00:45:07:19): And then it's eating, eating through three and a half miles of birdseed. Right. And a little wine. You got to do it. Yeah. Iron bird marathon. **Chip** (00:45:07:21 - 00:45:30:20): That I still reminds me of. One of my favorite jokes in 30 Rock, is when Jenna wants to play Janis Joplin in the Janis Joplin biopic. And, she comes into Jack's office. She, like, barges in in character as Janis Joplin. And she's like, yeah, you know, peace, man. I want to do this. You know? She's like fumbling and trying to do that. And then so he like, he's like, yeah, you know, this is actually be a good idea. We can promote the show, Bob. And she goes, oh, by the way, she's looking out the window. She's like, what is that iron bird up in the sky? And Jack's like, yeah, they had they had planes back in the. **Thomas** (00:45:47:11 - 00:45:48:17): That is good stuff. **Chip** (00:45:48:17 - 00:45:56:08): So, I just want to say, huzzah to both Natalie and to our boy, 234654. **Thomas** (00:45:56:10 - 00:45:57:01): Oh my God. **Chip** (00:45:57:01 - 00:45:58:05): Six, eight. What a bird. **Thomas** (00:45:58:07 - 00:45:59:08): What a lady, and what a. **Chip** (00:45:59:08 - 00:46:00:20): Bird, what a lady bird. **Thomas** (00:46:00:20 - 00:46:04:08): That's that's what I love about the Guinness Book. Dude, we can mix it up. **Chip** (00:46:04:08 - 00:46:05:18): You can also mash. You know. **Thomas** (00:46:05:22 - 00:46:27:01): You can mash it. I wonder if how cold I feel now to how warm and wonderful I'll feel in a week from now. Could be a the difference could be a world record. I wonder if the Guinness Book would recognize my achievements and yeah, you know, temperature just comfort to comfort level. Temperature wise. **Chip** (00:46:27:05 - 00:46:28:12): I think we should submit. **Thomas** (00:46:28:12 - 00:46:30:03): Guinness. We out here. **Chip** (00:46:30:05 - 00:46:31:14): We out here. **Thomas** (00:46:31:14 - 00:46:46:14): We want to submit. All right. Yep. We're getting into vacation rules, buddy. We're going on vacation next week. So the rules, as they keep going as Lou Vega said. Yes. You know, they getting sweeter. **Chip** (00:46:46:15 - 00:46:50:00): He did a bit of Monica. **Thomas** (00:46:50:01 - 00:46:57:15): Oh, dude. Yeah. I wonder how many I wonder how many aloo bagus babes have been to the Hawaiian Islands. **Chip** (00:46:57:17 - 00:46:59:18): I bet you a number of them have. **Thomas** (00:46:59:20 - 00:47:08:06): It's a it's a long way to go, because I feel like bag is pretty close to the Caribbean. He had kind of a Miami mentality. I thought. **Chip** (00:47:08:07 - 00:47:08:23): Absolutely. **Thomas** (00:47:09:01 - 00:47:12:08): And that's just like, a quicker island hop, you know what I mean? **Chip** (00:47:12:08 - 00:47:26:03): I wonder how many of those women like, were those? A little bit of Monica, a little bit of Jessica, a little bit like, were they real women from his past? And like, did they brag about it? Did Monica brag. **Thomas** (00:47:26:03 - 00:47:27:16): About. Yeah. **Chip** (00:47:27:18 - 00:47:40:13): Or or are they just amalgams of, you know, he he just came up with names of, of that that sort of rhymed. But yeah, maybe there's some. She's like, I am the Jessica from that song. Please give me extra mayo on my sandwich. **Thomas** (00:47:40:15 - 00:47:43:15): Yeah, yeah yeah. **Chip** (00:47:43:17 - 00:47:51:16): Them and the guy. It's so big as burger man. You have to. You don't have to prove that you're a quasi celebrity. I can just give you extra mayo for it. **Thomas** (00:47:51:17 - 00:48:01:00): Just, And I'll take the Lou bag as, known associate discount there. Like, everybody gets these subs for $5. Lady. **Chip** (00:48:01:02 - 00:48:03:19): It's a football. It's $5. That's all it. **Thomas** (00:48:03:19 - 00:48:08:19): Is. Not anymore. Dude, inflation is gone off the charts. **Chip** (00:48:08:21 - 00:48:10:23): It's crazy. **Thomas** (00:48:11:01 - 00:48:16:14): I haven't been to subway in a minute, but, you're not sniffing a footlong for $5 now. I bet there's. **Chip** (00:48:16:14 - 00:48:41:15): No way I doubt it, I tell you, no. We have a subway two blocks from our house. I've lived here for almost three years. I have not really. Yeah, yeah we do. I live in South Philly, where literally two doors down is one of the best sandwich shops in the world. So it's like. And actually a block down the other direction is the original Primo Hoagies, which is like they are exactly how they advertise. They are like the best hoagies. And it's it's a big chain out here and it it's the original one and it's I so there's really no need to go. Although I will say I got to say people say they're trash, but every once in a while, a good hot sammie from subway is this the sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich is just comfort food every once in a while. By the way, when I first met you, when we were living in Stamford, I lived out of a hotel from Monday to Friday. It was a sad existence and out where the hotel was, it wasn't like right downtown. **Thomas** (00:49:15:21 - 00:49:17:18): Which hotel where you stay in it? **Chip** (00:49:17:20 - 00:49:19:09): I can't tell you. **Thomas** (00:49:19:09 - 00:49:21:13): I forget you gotta tell me. **Chip** (00:49:21:17 - 00:49:23:07): I forget the name of it. **Thomas** (00:49:23:09 - 00:49:40:21): Was it the Amsterdam? Was it that one? No it wasn't. That was. That was rough. I think McKeever stayed there. Yeah. From time to time when he was in town. And, I tried to stay there one night, and, yeah, I there was bugs in my bed. Yeah. **Chip** (00:49:40:23 - 00:49:44:04): Yeah. No, this this hotel was, it was. **Thomas** (00:49:44:06 - 00:49:46:16): It was a and it was zero. It wasn't the zero. **Chip** (00:49:46:16 - 00:49:50:09): That's where that's where stark state I think sometimes. **Thomas** (00:49:50:14 - 00:49:57:19): Yeah. Stark at is is a little. Yeah. Because on show days he, he wanted to be close to the action. **Chip** (00:49:57:23 - 00:50:14:20): Yes. I yeah. No, this is like, maybe like a ten minute drive. So it wasn't super close. I mean, it was just a couple miles away. It wasn't bad, but it was like, It was, it was. It was actually nice. It was like a marriott or something like that. It was, it was it was a nice hotel. And. But like out there, there were basically two options to eat, like walking distance. Yeah. You could go to, three, an overpriced diner that wasn't great. And I love diners, but it wasn't great. Yeah. It wasn't. **Thomas** (00:50:26:07 - 00:50:27:08): Curly's. **Chip** (00:50:27:10 - 00:50:34:03): Unfortunately wasn't curly because Curly's right downtown. I had breakfast many mornings and curlies. Either that or seasons with the two crazy old ladies who hated. **Thomas** (00:50:34:03 - 00:50:36:05): Yeah, I a hard boiled egg at seasons. **Chip** (00:50:36:07 - 00:50:57:21): Oh my god. Or, But then there was this, like, run of the mill Chinese takeout place, and then there was a subway. And more times than not, I would get subway and I would watch South Park in my hotel room alone and just eat my subway, and watch South Park. And that's what I did, like four nights a week. **Thomas** (00:50:57:23 - 00:51:02:22): I when you're unwrapping a sandwich, you can kind of get like a nice, canny face. **Chip** (00:51:03:00 - 00:51:03:23): You really can. **Thomas** (00:51:04:01 - 00:51:07:07): And in your sandwich, utilizing the subway wrapper. **Chip** (00:51:07:08 - 00:51:10:22): Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:51:11:00 - 00:51:16:10): I always went hot. I always went hot. And that's how the subway meatball. **Chip** (00:51:16:10 - 00:51:16:23): Meatball. **Thomas** (00:51:16:23 - 00:51:20:22): It was going to be a meatball or it was going to be bacon cheddar ranch. **Chip** (00:51:20:22 - 00:51:39:06): Oh look at you. Fancy bacon China fat. I'm not a big fan of cheddar. I'm not a fan of cheddar. I'm not a big fan of ranch. Don't like it, and not even a big bacon fan. So going to be honest with you, that's a two thumbs down for me. But to most, to most of Western society, it's I know I, I think I think you picked a good one. **Thomas** (00:51:39:08 - 00:51:47:02): It works for me, but I know what sandwich to get if I don't want it. Chips, rub a little hands. Horning in on my sando. **Chip** (00:51:47:07 - 00:51:50:01): That is true. Now, you know, keep him off. **Thomas** (00:51:50:07 - 00:51:55:18): It's, chip repellent. It really is. Dude. Well, we, let's get into it. Let's get into it. What's your vacation? What's your vacation rule this week? **Chip** (00:52:01:19 - 00:52:05:15): Vacation rule number 37. This should be an obvious one, but I think it's a reminder, especially as I'm going. So I'm telling myself. I'm reminding myself and you, as we're about to, embark on this vacation. Vacation? Rule number 37, turn off social media for the week. Oh, if you want to post some fun photos on Instagram, go ahead. But if you're scrolling on your phone at the top of the Grand Canyon, you are doing life wrong. And I see it so often of people just in Paradise, in just an amazing land, and they're just scrolling through TikTok and it's like, what are you doing with your life? And every once in a while I've caught myself doing the same thing I'm not doing anymore. Turn off that social media. **Thomas** (00:52:53:03 - 00:52:56:03): I will put a can I throw caveat in there, please? **Chip** (00:52:56:09 - 00:52:59:06): I by the way, I think there are some caveats in here. So go ahead. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:52:59:07 - 00:53:04:04): If you are promoting, stand up show. **Chip** (00:53:04:05 - 00:53:05:19): Yes. **Thomas** (00:53:05:21 - 00:53:07:02): November 26th. **Chip** (00:53:07:06 - 00:53:08:01): Yes. **Thomas** (00:53:08:03 - 00:53:12:02): And you land in Waikiki on November 24th. **Chip** (00:53:12:04 - 00:53:14:07): Get on social media as much as you can. **Thomas** (00:53:14:07 - 00:53:24:06): Get on social media as much as you can. We're going to be having a party. We're inviting everybody to it. We're going to be whipping up a little excitement for Chantry Thanksgiving in Paradise. **Chip** (00:53:24:07 - 00:53:26:00): Yes. We are. **Thomas** (00:53:26:02 - 00:53:30:21): Do it. I'm just so excited for it. But yeah, that is part of. We have to. We have to. Because we can't have it. **Chip** (00:53:30:21 - 00:53:48:21): Okay. And I also say this caveat too. It's like when you get back to the hotel or like in the morning or whatever, if you want to lay there and scroll for a while, you do it to unwind, really. But like this. When you are in the, you know, the throes of taking a surfing lesson, it's it's not the time to open Facebook necessarily. **Thomas** (00:53:49:01 - 00:54:01:16): No, no no no, I think yeah. Be present. Be present for these places. But also like there are some moments and I'm wondering, have, have you and Kim thought about when you're going to climb Diamond Head? **Chip** (00:54:01:18 - 00:54:02:23): We have not yet. No. **Thomas** (00:54:02:23 - 00:54:06:18): Okay. Because that is something you need to book times in advance. **Chip** (00:54:07:00 - 00:54:08:03): But yeah, I think you. **Thomas** (00:54:08:05 - 00:54:18:05): You buy it. It's not expensive, but you buy a little, buy a little ticket and it's got a little time window when you're allowed to enter the park. Yeah. So yeah, you can think about that in advance. **Chip** (00:54:18:07 - 00:54:20:09): Is that something we would drive to? **Thomas** (00:54:20:11 - 00:54:31:06): No, no you don't. Well, I mean, you definitely could, but it is not a intense walk. It's like. Yeah, okay, I think I think it's like a little over a mile away from. **Chip** (00:54:31:06 - 00:54:36:07): We are. We are what we do. We do. We walk twice that to the diner a couple nights a week. So we're good. **Thomas** (00:54:36:07 - 00:54:38:09): Yeah. Love it, love it, love. **Chip** (00:54:38:09 - 00:54:39:19): It, love it. **Thomas** (00:54:39:21 - 00:54:40:19): All right, all right. **Chip** (00:54:40:19 - 00:54:42:22): Tom Thomas, what is your vacation rule? **Thomas** (00:54:43:00 - 00:55:11:03): I'm coming in hot with a rule I believe firmly in. It's vacation. Rule 161. Earn your vacations. Oh, senioritis is for children. Nothing feels better than working like a dog leading up to your trip and stepping on that plane, knowing you've earned every minute you get to spend in the sun, except for being so rich that you don't have to work at all. **Chip** (00:55:11:06 - 00:55:12:05): 100% true. **Thomas** (00:55:12:07 - 00:55:26:10): And we've been living this lesson the whole time. Dude, it's been so exciting seeing you like, push your stand up during this time and building your other businesses around speaking. And, corporate events and all this stuff. Dude. **Chip** (00:55:26:10 - 00:55:39:10): And you've been in overtime with a number of things, including the podcast, a couple other projects that you're working on. Yeah. That, I'm very excited about that. It's. Yeah. You you have deserve for this vacation. Earned it more than anybody I know. **Thomas** (00:55:39:12 - 00:55:58:08): But do it. Yeah. It's like we we did it. We were. It was like part of how we started off. We're like, this year is going to be different than last year, and we're going to put the effort and we're going to lay the groundwork, and we're going to do it all with this goal at the end of going to Hawaii and having a great time and doing comedy show out there. **Chip** (00:55:58:14 - 00:55:58:20): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:55:58:21 - 00:56:27:21): And, it worked out. It worked like I was just, reflecting the other day on just like, how much ground, metaphorically we have toiled leading up to this and like, just, I mean, the level of opportunities that we were able to create for ourselves during this time. And not that we didn't have opportunities before, but like, we just that all of it, nobody asked us to do anything we're doing. We had goals we set out and we, you know, we made some things happen that weren't going to come our way. Any other way. So I'm proud of you, buddy. Proud of myself. But like, I. **Chip** (00:56:39:05 - 00:56:39:14): Catch you. **Thomas** (00:56:39:19 - 00:57:00:05): I think, I don't know, it just feels so much different when you earn it, when you when you can look at yourself in the mirror and be like, I'm going to do this thing. And like I clawed and fought for it. So that's that's it. That's my vacation rule. Vacation rule 161 earn your vacations. **Chip** (00:57:00:08 - 00:57:17:18): Love it, love it. Speaking of earning vacations, I think we need to talk about a gentleman right now who has earned a life of vacations. Yeah, let's let's get ready for some buffet facts. Are you, do you want to. Do you want to do your Jimmy Buffet effect? **Thomas** (00:57:17:19 - 00:57:32:03): Yeah, I did, so apropos, every time Jimmy Buffett swam in the ocean, he was attacked by sharks who just wanted a selfie with them. **Chip** (00:57:32:05 - 00:57:35:17): The sharks love Jimmy Buffett, man. They're they're big fans. **Thomas** (00:57:35:19 - 00:57:37:13): They've got great taste. **Chip** (00:57:37:15 - 00:57:38:13): They really do. **Thomas** (00:57:38:15 - 00:57:41:09): Yeah, they're they're selfie sharks. **Chip** (00:57:41:11 - 00:57:47:16): They're selfie sharks. Good. Real Thomas Eric could not roll. Good. Fact. **Thomas** (00:57:47:16 - 00:57:50:01): What buffet factor you bring in this week? Yep. **Chip** (00:57:50:04 - 00:58:10:04): Jimmy Buffett won a lawsuit against the restaurant chain cheat in 1983. Over there. Margaritaville drink special sued him. What? He also sued Pfizer Pharmaceuticals for their changes in latitudes. Changes on your Zoloft dosage commercials. People were always trying to take a bit of his IP. Yeah. Jimmy was not up for it. **Thomas** (00:58:15:19 - 00:58:23:06): When your IP is that sweet, you're going to get a couple, bloodsuckers coming after you, you know? **Chip** (00:58:23:08 - 00:58:24:07): Yep. Absolutely. **Thomas** (00:58:24:10 - 00:58:33:21): Well, dude, six days till trip. Chantry. Thanksgiving Paradise. It's the last countdown we had. We started at, triple digits, and now we're down to six. **Chip** (00:58:33:21 - 00:58:44:17): Days, and I think we're both, like, I just sort of enjoy the fact that, like, coming into this specific episode, I think you and I, for different reasons, some similar reasons. We're both fairly miserable right now. **Thomas** (00:58:44:17 - 00:58:45:04): Oh, yeah. **Chip** (00:58:45:08 - 00:59:02:13): You're freezing. I'm freezing. I'm like underwater with some work and some other stuff too. It's cold and miserable here, and it's just like, I'm just kind of excited for the how miserable we sort of both are right now. But yeah, highs. It's just it's it's in spitting distance. **Thomas** (00:59:02:14 - 00:59:06:14): I always root for some inclement weather before I had to Hawaii. **Chip** (00:59:06:14 - 00:59:09:03): Which is it's a hard ask for Los Angeles, California I will say. **Thomas** (00:59:09:03 - 00:59:21:23): That. Yeah. No, but this is this is the time it starts to get a little chilly. And, it's it's been damp. We have an atmospheric river chip. Crazy. It's what we call normal rain here, but we got to. We got to give it a name. **Chip** (00:59:21:23 - 00:59:24:20): Atmospheric River is my favorite Coldplay album, though I will say that. **Thomas** (00:59:24:20 - 00:59:37:00): Oh, yeah, I think that would be a great Coldplay album. Yeah, it's got those, Coldplay tones all over it, but, dude, it's been a blast. What? **Chip** (00:59:37:02 - 00:59:42:15): Believe signing off for the last time before we head on out? **Thomas** (00:59:42:17 - 01:00:00:18): Yeah, we're going to get to Hawaii in a couple of days. Are we going to be doing a bunch of posts and a bunch of promoting the show? And, yeah, I just can't say it enough. Sunburnt podcast.com. You can go to the tickets links there or you can go to Blue Note hawaii.com. There's tickets there. And we're going to be around if you if you want to do something, come find us up on the socials at Sunbird Pod everywhere. And, let us know you're around to let us know your burnt one. And we'll we'll mix it up, man. We're going to be hanging. We're there to, to meet likeminded burnt ones. And, dude, I just can't wait, man. It's going to be so fun. I'll, I'll see you in Hawaii, buddy. **Chip** (01:00:25:17 - 01:00:27:06): See ya in Waikiki. **Thomas** (01:00:27:12 - 01:00:36:10): This is the sunburn podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. Until next time, stay burnt. Front desk. **Chip** (01:00:36:10 - 01:00:43:03): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. I just wanted to let you know it's 487 487. **Thomas** (01:00:43:03 - 01:00:44:05): What? Mr. Chantry. **Chip** (01:00:44:08 - 01:00:49:00): It takes 487 bottles of spicy mustard to fill up one of your bathtubs. **Thomas** (01:00:49:03 - 01:00:53:07): Oh, that explains the screaming we heard. **Chip** (01:00:53:09 - 01:00:54:03): Yes it does.