Mai Tais, Mile-High Mayhem & The Alton Giant 😂🌴 | Sunburnt Podcast Ep. 29

**Thomas** (00:00:00:00 - 00:00:14:22): What a burnt ones. This is the Sun Burnt podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. To my right, as always, is my illustrious host. You know him from Netflix and his unbelievable stand up special Move Closer. It's Philadelphia's own chip chantry. **Chip** (00:00:14:22 - 00:00:25:10): And over here to my left is Emmy Award winning writer, producer, and man who got involved in an incident in 7-Eleven yesterday that he's not legally allowed to talk about Thomas O'Brien. **Thomas** (00:00:25:17 - 00:00:36:02): Yeah, I can't really talk about it, but it did involve, one, you know, a large slurp. I won't finish the phrase. It was a slurp blowing. **Chip** (00:00:36:04 - 00:00:36:15): Yes. **Thomas** (00:00:36:17 - 00:00:47:04): That got dumped on, a very mouthy cashier. And, I, I guess my only comment is no comment. Slash not sorry. Okay. **Chip** (00:00:47:04 - 00:00:51:18): I think we can get a rough sketch of what happened without really involving the authorities. **Thomas** (00:00:51:19 - 00:00:55:09): The good news is, for all parties, it was a sugar free incident. **Chip** (00:00:55:09 - 00:00:59:05): That's the best part, because we're being healthy here on this podcast. **Thomas** (00:00:59:06 - 00:01:00:21): We're making smart choices. **Chip** (00:01:00:21 - 00:01:02:01): Speaking of parties, Thomas. **Thomas** (00:01:02:01 - 00:01:02:10): Yeah? **Chip** (00:01:02:10 - 00:01:03:07): Are you ready to party? **Thomas** (00:01:03:07 - 00:01:12:16): I'm ready to party, chip. Like you did apparently all weekend long. We're going to do a quick rundown on Chip's trip to Portland, Maine, one of your favorite cities on the planet. **Chip** (00:01:12:18 - 00:01:16:00): Tropical. Beautiful. Tropical lush Portland, Maine. **Thomas** (00:01:16:00 - 00:01:41:13): You showed me the picture. Is it day? Oh, it was tropical adjacent. Looked amazing. Man. We're talking about a club. Chip and I are not members of. I'll give you one hint. It's mile high. And then we're also talking about the new luxury traveler. We're talking about Jimmy Buffett facts, the man. And we're dipping into the good book once again for some Guinness Book of World record trivia. Chip, I'm I'm buzzing with excitement for this episode, buddy. **Chip** (00:01:45:12 - 00:01:50:20): Dude, I'm getting a little, tingly. You know what I think we need to do as we get started in. **Thomas** (00:01:50:22 - 00:01:57:00): Do we need to, slather? Are you talking about a good old fashioned, good old fashioned slather? **Chip** (00:01:57:05 - 00:02:09:18): Get that sunblock on. I had it on all week, up in morning. So putting it on right now in the basement, feeling good about that? It's just that smell wakes you up. It wakes you up in the morning. It's ready. I'm ready to go. **Thomas** (00:02:09:19 - 00:02:18:08): Yeah, dude, it puts you in a nice state of mind. If you guys are in a bad mood, just get a frickin old fashioned slather going. You won't regret. **Chip** (00:02:18:08 - 00:02:19:18): It. Feeling very good right now. **Thomas** (00:02:20:01 - 00:02:32:04): We're on that Hawaiian Tropic, dude. That's what we're on. All right, guys, this is the sunburnt podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. If you're into those two things, stay tuned. Front desk. **Chip** (00:02:32:04 - 00:02:36:08): Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. Could you please set up two irons? **Thomas** (00:02:36:10 - 00:02:37:06): Two irons? **Chip** (00:02:37:06 - 00:02:44:13): Yes. And some paint cans. 100ft of clothesline, a blowtorch, a bag of feathers, some superglue and 100 micro machines. **Thomas** (00:02:44:16 - 00:02:48:17): Mr. Chantry, you cannot keep trying to home alone. The maid. **Chip** (00:02:48:18 - 00:02:50:15): She knows what she did. Chip. **Thomas** (00:02:50:16 - 00:03:02:10): Tommy, it's episode 29 of the Sunburnt podcast. We are 83 days away from Chip Chantry. That's you, buddy. Chip Chantry is Thanksgiving in Paradise? 83 days. Can you even believe me? **Chip** (00:03:02:10 - 00:03:03:23): Know it is getting very, very. **Thomas** (00:03:03:23 - 00:03:14:07): Real in my world. Everybody's flights are booked. Yeah, my family and some of the friends that are coming. The flights are booked. Buddy, that is about as real as it gets. **Chip** (00:03:14:08 - 00:03:22:14): I'm booking mine literally this week, and, we're hopping on that plane. Probably not joining a club that we're going to talk about a little bit later, but. **Thomas** (00:03:22:16 - 00:03:23:06): I hope. **Chip** (00:03:23:06 - 00:03:40:16): Not. We are getting to Hawaii. So please, please feel free if you are watching right now and you're thinking, what are they talking about? We're doing some comedy shows in Hawaii the night before Thanksgiving. We're inviting you. If you're like, man, I got to get together. I got to figure out my holiday plans by Thanksgiving. Travel. Come out away with us. We talked about it last week. Travel is actually a little cheaper than it was before. **Thomas** (00:03:45:04 - 00:03:46:08): And statistically. **Chip** (00:03:46:08 - 00:03:56:11): Statistically. And, Come on out. Have a good time, if you like. Why not? Why not be? This is the year. Just go for it. Come out Hawaii. Let's. Let's see a show. **Thomas** (00:03:56:18 - 00:04:21:21): I can't let you. I mean, like, in first of all, we are very pro. You guys coming out to see the show? Like we're excited. We're promoting it. Chips performing it. But we are even more pro getting your touch to Hawaii. Yeah. And spending Thanksgiving there. So, if you have any interest in just having the best Thanksgiving experience you possibly can, book that flight. Yeah. Come to Hawaii with us, hang out, and if you're there, just kick it up. That one extra notch. Come see this show. It's going to be an amazing time. Ship's got a new hour. It's blazing hot. We're going to have some, other people joining us. And if you want to get tickets, go to sunburnt podcast.com or Blue Note hawaii.com. If you even Google it, it's going to pop up with like 50 ticket resellers that are really charging some crazy prices. Like it is getting wild. So go to one of those two sources. You'll get the real tickets. There's still non-real sale tickets available, so, come on out, dude. Yeah, it's going to be awesome. And I can't believe that we're going to be tooling around Hawaii that week together. But we've never we've never been together. You've never been, period. **Chip** (00:05:08:20 - 00:05:09:03): No. **Thomas** (00:05:09:03 - 00:05:26:13): To Hawaii. It's where I love to spend Thanksgiving week, if I can, with my family and, Yeah. Dude, I'm just so excited about the whole thing. It's getting so real. Tickets are booked, and, my mind keeps drifting more frequently to Hawaii, and I couldn't be any more excited about it. Yeah. **Chip** (00:05:26:14 - 00:05:31:16): Me, too. I'm just. I I'm super stoked. I'm also stoked. Stoked about this episode right now. Tommy. **Thomas** (00:05:31:22 - 00:05:36:09): Dude, I'm just so happy we're doing this, man. Yeah. I freaking love doing it with you. **Chip** (00:05:36:09 - 00:05:40:08): Let's not isolate that right there, that sound clip. But, **Thomas** (00:05:41:17 - 00:06:09:04): Especially on the on the Mile High Club episode. Yes. Yeah. No, I, I love to do it with you, and I just thank you all so much for even caring about this thing. Like, I really can't believe how many people are checking out the podcast. How many people are watching the clips and all this stuff, like, we have done the work to go 29 episodes deep on this bad boy, but I'm just incredibly grateful that, you know, people are into this kind of positive, fun thing we're trying to do. And, don't outright hate you, and I. I think that's a testament. **Chip** (00:06:13:00 - 00:06:25:03): I think that is a huge testament that we usually don't get is the visceral loathing of one or the both of us. And, and I think that's, that's a net positive we have going for this podcast. **Thomas** (00:06:25:03 - 00:06:50:19): It is I think it's like two little trolls who by themselves pretty unappealing. People don't want to be around. But when you put them together and you see like they have a weird, almost human like friendship going, you kind of root for them. You stick around and watch, see, how they interact. But like, you feel a little bit of what's, you know, two human beings would call, friendship forming between them. And maybe that's what people are getting out of this. **Chip** (00:06:53:02 - 00:07:09:17): I think it's what it is. It's. We are two trolls in a trenchcoat making one Shrek. Or at least Shrek five, the final adventure. You know, like, I don't want to put us up with the first few Shrek, but, you know, we're we are in the Shrek. We're in the Shrek sphere. I'll say. **Thomas** (00:07:09:17 - 00:07:32:03): That. Yeah, we're doing Shrek cosplay. Yeah. Double stacked and, people are really. People are probably tuning out now. Yeah. But up to this point have been into it. Chip, you were in Portland, Maine, one of your favorite towns in the planet doing comedy this weekend. Tell. How did that go? Man, it's Labor Day weekend. Long weekend. You, really got to dig your teeth into that city. **Chip** (00:07:37:06 - 00:07:40:17): Portland has my bite marks all over it right now. Ooh. **Thomas** (00:07:40:22 - 00:07:41:10): Evidence. **Chip** (00:07:41:10 - 00:08:01:12): It was, it was great. So last Sunday. So a week ago, I did a show at the. At Empire Comedy Club. Newer comedy club up in Portland. It's beautiful. So much fun. Worked with, some, two brothers that were, Chris and Pat, were great. Who are actually going to be moving to Philadelphia soon. So I got to see some new up and coming Philly comics who are in Portland now, and they're moving down to, down to Philly, which is cool. And so we did a show and I actually had some it was really fun because I had some friends come out, some, family friends that I know from up in Maine. I had some college friends that are up in that area. Some other people came up to see me. So that was just a blast to have like that. It was like a home crowd in an away arena. **Thomas** (00:08:26:18 - 00:08:29:13): The Chantry heads are traveling well these days. **Chip** (00:08:29:16 - 00:08:47:04): They really are. Yet the chant heads are just making their presence known. And yeah, it was just great. It was, And it's in one of my favorite towns, Portland. So the show was was a lot of fun. And, and then, my wife and I just got to spend a couple of days. We just decided to make it a little vacay. **Thomas** (00:08:47:05 - 00:08:48:08): You got to spend the. **Chip** (00:08:48:08 - 00:08:58:01): Week up in. I mean, you could party, like, like, 4 or 5 days up in Portland. And then all the way home, we stopped in Salem, mass. Salem, Massachusetts, home of the witch trials. **Thomas** (00:08:58:02 - 00:08:58:18): Baby. **Chip** (00:08:58:19 - 00:09:09:04): Man, what a travesty that was. I we don't have time. This is not exactly a true crime deep dive historical podcast, per se. **Thomas** (00:09:09:05 - 00:09:10:01): Yeah, yet? **Chip** (00:09:10:01 - 00:09:24:02): Not yet. But I just want to let all the listeners know that the next seven episodes after this one are solely dedicated to the history and intricacies of the Salem witch trials. **Thomas** (00:09:24:03 - 00:09:31:22): That will lead us right up to Chip Chantry Thanksgiving Paradise, that seven episode run where we talk about nothing tropical. **Chip** (00:09:31:22 - 00:09:34:11): It's all witches, all the time. **Thomas** (00:09:34:11 - 00:09:42:23): Depressing, cold. Ladies that didn't have a lot going for them, that the community decided we're going to make sure even less is going for them. **Chip** (00:09:43:00 - 00:09:54:15): Let's just say that some of these Puritans will at some point open up their cloaks, and they will be wearing some sweet, sweet Hawaiian shirts. That's that's awesome. Spoiler alert. **Thomas** (00:09:54:18 - 00:09:57:20): Yeah, we do have some tropical Easter eggs sprinkled throughout. **Chip** (00:09:57:21 - 00:10:14:22): No, but it was, in all seriousness, it was it was great to be in sale. And, so we're there. We decided to go. We're just there for one night in Salem. We go for a walk, walking tour. My wife booked a tour. Okay. We're on this walking tour. This this great guy Dean was our tour, and he was, like, taken us through, like, very historic. Talking about the witch trials and just the history of Salem at all. And about, like, ten minutes in, he sees my. I have a helium comedy club sweatshirt, and he's like, you're Chip Chantry. And I'm like, yeah. And, he actually opened for me. He's a comedian, too. He opened for me at school in New Hampshire right before the pandemic. And I was like, oh my God, Dean. And, like, totally remembered him. And you just could put the name of the face right away. And then it was once he said that, so we had a tour guide, who I, I did stand up with a couple of years ago, which was, like, so much fun to see. But, yeah, no, Salem was amazing. I wish we had more time there, but Portland was incredible. It's just it's one of those things where we just. We have our, you know, this you kind of talking about this, about San Diego and some other places I know with why. Like, we've been to Portland, a bunch of times now. So we just have those haunts that we like. Yeah, that are just we have the Port Hall, which is open for breakfast, lunch, dinner and drinks every day. It's right there on the water. You sit there literally. We have breakfast there and like the fish packing plant right across the little, like it's a what I'm going to call it a water alley. It's like just in the Marina. We'll just throw fish out and like, the seal comes up every morning to to grab fish, you know, so it's like breakfast in a show. **Thomas** (00:11:35:19 - 00:11:36:19): A breakfast in a show. **Chip** (00:11:36:19 - 00:11:54:23): And then we just we just we just have summer without getting into all of it. Like, we just have some of our favorite restaurants, say, favorite bars. Like I said, we get to see the trends. But, you know, we did. I've been go to Maine since I was a child. And the one thing we never dove into, which sounds crazy, is I don't think we ever really, like, spent a lot of time visiting lighthouses. **Thomas** (00:11:54:23 - 00:11:56:04): Oh, yeah. **Chip** (00:11:56:08 - 00:12:01:02): Dude, I'm. Oh, I've always been a lighthouse fan. I mean, it's just. Who doesn't like the lighthouse, right? **Thomas** (00:12:01:04 - 00:12:02:08): Who? Everybody loves the light. **Chip** (00:12:02:08 - 00:12:07:07): It's large, it's majestic. It's on the water. It's saving sailors lives. **Thomas** (00:12:07:17 - 00:12:09:08): And. Yeah. Only positive. **Chip** (00:12:09:09 - 00:12:16:00): Yeah. There's no negatives. Don't watch that. Willem Dafoe movie. There's some negative saying. **Thomas** (00:12:16:00 - 00:12:19:19): Oh, the lighthouse. The lighthouse with, with Mr. Pattinson. Yes. **Chip** (00:12:19:19 - 00:12:52:10): Yeah. But, we, we went to we saw three of them over the weekend. The last one, especially Portland Head Lighthouse, is like kind of like the most picturesque. Like, it's like, sort of like the lighthouse when you see, like Maine advertised, a lot of times that's the lighthouse. Like, it's just beautiful on the water. You might have seen a picture that I posted on Instagram at Chantry, and, I used to do a joke about this years ago, and I don't even remember where the joke went, but the gist was I want to live in a lighthouse, and I really wish that could be my job. I wish like they're still using them, but they're obviously more and, automated. But to live in a lighthouse, like, you know, at least like, you know, the little lighthouse, you know, cottage they have right there. And then your job is to, like, run up the steps, make sure the lights are blinking. Right. Make sure the, everything's going smooth. And just, like, chilling out on the coast, looking out, knowing that you're a hero, saving lives. But then just you got to view all day. And when you're up in that lighthouse, nobody's bothering you. That's. That's another beautiful thing. You're just looking out over the ocean. **Thomas** (00:13:25:02 - 00:13:43:08): Yeah, it seems very peaceful. Here's my question. I know you pretty well, Chip. This is the one wrench I'll throw in the gears of this lighthouse. Man, I see you have your job as the lighthouse keeper is to make sure that everything mechanically stays intact. **Chip** (00:13:43:08 - 00:13:44:02): Yes. **Thomas** (00:13:44:02 - 00:13:53:22): What happens to you at three in the morning when you wake up? And that lighthouse is not shining, and you don't. You can't get it back on. How are you feeling that? **Chip** (00:13:53:23 - 00:13:57:03): Oh, I would lose it, Thomas. I would lose my mind. **Thomas** (00:13:57:05 - 00:14:17:15): So, you got to see this lighthouse. You're on your lighthouse vibe. And I'm telling you right now, dude, there is a great lighthouse in, in Waikiki. Really? So. Yeah. And I think it's probably. I mean, not to not to spoil, but I think it's probably where we're going to be doing our Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. Who's going to be running right by it? **Chip** (00:14:19:05 - 00:14:26:07): I think I'm going for run right after this episode, today, just to get the rage out of my body and be to prep for the little, little five k. **Thomas** (00:14:26:08 - 00:14:50:05): Little five K. Yeah. And I'm also like, not entirely sure, about the link we have on the website for the five K sign up. Yeah. I, I just don't know how legit it is anymore. I've been, like, doing some digging around and I can't find the direct connection to this five K as a pair compared to last year's Turkey Trot. Like, I just can't find the through line. It's not on the same. It's on the same website. That's like, kind of a fundraising website. Sure, but I don't see it connected to the website of the running club. That kind of put it on last year. Okay. So I'm, I might be shaking that up. **Chip** (00:15:06:17 - 00:15:11:04): I'll say you and I will run A5K, and if anybody wants to check will be there. **Thomas** (00:15:11:04 - 00:15:29:19): Oh please. Yeah. Yeah. For, for for goodness sakes, if you don't feel comfortable with the organization that's putting it on. Yeah. Just come run with us. Yeah. You don't need to, you know, I, I support that organization if it's the right thing, but, if you just want to come take, take a jog with me and Chip, we are hitting it Thanksgiving morning. We're going to earn that turkey dinner. Yeah. **Chip** (00:15:31:12 - 00:15:33:02): We are. Yeah, we are all. **Thomas** (00:15:33:02 - 00:15:36:16): Right, buddy. So, outside of the lighthouse, anything else to do? **Chip** (00:15:36:17 - 00:15:51:21): You know, it was just like we do. The wife and I just had a great time. Had a couple a couple drinks. Got to wear some, some Hawaiian shirts in Portland. I saw a couple of burnt ones walking around where those Hawaiians like. It was just kind of. It was. It was. It was nice to see. **Thomas** (00:15:51:22 - 00:15:56:16): Beautiful, man. Yeah. Well, that that sounds awesome. And also like, I don't. **Chip** (00:15:56:16 - 00:15:57:22): Know. **Thomas** (00:15:58:00 - 00:16:04:14): Who took it, but there was a very stylistic, photograph of you doing stand up at Empire. **Chip** (00:16:04:14 - 00:16:13:05): Yeah, that was, that was Lucas, the owner of, the owner of Empire himself. And, Oh, really? Yeah. So, he's a man of many talents. **Thomas** (00:16:13:05 - 00:16:16:23): It looked incredible. Dude, you you looked like a just a superhero of comedy there. **Chip** (00:16:16:23 - 00:16:19:02): Thank you, buddy. Thank you. It was it was. It was fun. **Thomas** (00:16:19:02 - 00:16:24:08): Yeah. So go check that out. This weekend trip, I went down to San Diego and. **Chip** (00:16:24:08 - 00:16:25:06): He lighthouse sightings. **Thomas** (00:16:26:01 - 00:16:32:15): I maybe I'm trying to think of it like, if it did. I've been down there so many times, it just washed over me, and I didn't. **Chip** (00:16:32:16 - 00:16:36:13): Feel like every house in San Diego is a lighthouse. It's its own little lighthouse. **Thomas** (00:16:36:16 - 00:16:44:22): Yeah. I mean, they really have a lighthouse mentality as a community that we all need to put together. Our individual candles to make one bright light. **Chip** (00:16:44:23 - 00:16:45:13): Exactly. **Thomas** (00:16:45:13 - 00:17:12:16): But went down there and just the highlight for me, dude. Jakes Del Mar. It is an offshoot of Duke's, which originated in Waikiki Beautiful, which has my favorite Mai Tai in the whole world, the Duke's Mai Tai. So Jakes Del Mar has the Duke's Mai Tai, and we just, you know, both me and some friends, my wife and some friends stopped by there before, dinner to get some drinks at sunset. Looking over the beach. It was a real magical time. And then just had a great, you know, long weekend down there in San Diego. **Chip** (00:17:18:18 - 00:17:25:07): You and I were at, like, two of the opposite ends of the continental United States, looking over two separate oceans. **Thomas** (00:17:25:07 - 00:17:26:16): Yeah, yeah, there's. **Chip** (00:17:26:16 - 00:17:38:19): A real fireball goes west. Somewhere out there. Vibe. We're we were both looking at the same moon over, over the same crazy globe. You know, this marble floating in space. **Thomas** (00:17:38:20 - 00:17:48:02): The ocean connects us all day. It's just like that's one continuous body of water. You were in the Atlantic. I was in the Pacific. But those waters meet. **Chip** (00:17:48:02 - 00:18:07:18): We're getting deep on this. We're good to you. I you know. Okay, I'm saying it right now. I'm canceling the next seven episodes of the Salem Witch. Deep dive. Yeah. And I think we're just getting spiritual for the next seven episodes. We're just going to get in, talk about the vibes and the tides of the oceans. We're going to talk about crystals. I think, I think the benefits of crystals. Yeah. How our minds, if we meditate at the same time could affect the tides. **Thomas** (00:18:14:02 - 00:18:31:22): Let me put this in your pipe and see if you want to smoke it. Okay. Speaking of spiritual, that beautiful ocean, the picturesque thing that I saw, the sun setting over which I. It still blows my mind. Like I've spent time on the East Coast. Yeah. And the fact that the sun does not set over the ocean still floors. **Chip** (00:18:31:22 - 00:18:36:14): Mathematically, we can't get it to work. We've tried. We've crunched the numbers many times. **Thomas** (00:18:36:19 - 00:18:39:14): You got to wake up early and see that sun rise over the ocean. **Chip** (00:18:39:14 - 00:18:41:10): Yes, which I do love, which is amazing. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:18:41:10 - 00:19:01:18): But, watching it set into that ocean while at the same time knowing I could not go into the beach because of fecal or go into the water because of fecal contamination. The, the beaches were shut down in San Diego this weekend because too much doodoo in the drink. **Chip** (00:19:02:21 - 00:19:05:15): So, so no surfing, no boogie boarding. **Thomas** (00:19:05:18 - 00:19:21:03): No, I didn't boogie at all. Because. Yeah, bacteria count through the roof, baby. Just like views on this podcast. It's very, tied to the bacteria count. And, the Southern California. **Chip** (00:19:21:03 - 00:19:22:08): Coastline and lots of do to. **Thomas** (00:19:22:12 - 00:19:24:01): Yeah, lots of. **Chip** (00:19:24:02 - 00:19:28:14): Dude, that's great man. Though I love a good mai tai at sunset. **Thomas** (00:19:28:16 - 00:19:50:22): Oh, dude, it wasn't just a good mai tai. It's the best Mai tai. And the weather was perfect. And we just got some good news. A friend of ours is having another baby. They were very excited, and, Yeah, life just keeps going on. The waves keep crashing and people keep taking. Boom booms in the Pacific. So only one of those things do I wish would change. **Chip** (00:19:54:07 - 00:19:56:21): Yeah. Oh. That's amazing. So you got to celebrate that. **Thomas** (00:19:56:21 - 00:20:03:08): Yeah. There's nothing like drinking a mai tai in front of a freshly pregnant lady who can't. Who can't. **Chip** (00:20:03:08 - 00:20:07:19): Do it. It's like we're celebrating you. So just sit there and watch. **Thomas** (00:20:07:19 - 00:20:18:11): Just sit there and watch us eat fish appetizers and drink alcoholic beverages. And this is also true. Then drive us all to the restaurant because you are the disc baby driver. **Chip** (00:20:18:17 - 00:20:23:07): That's got to be a blast for her. So. Wow. That's that feels good. **Thomas** (00:20:23:09 - 00:20:25:00): If it wasn't a blast, she faked it. **Chip** (00:20:25:00 - 00:20:45:13): I have to tell you this. I did not have a mai tai, unfortunately, I did have a bunch of great drinks. I did have a Roma Paloma. Which is. It's it. They they're making it a very tropical feeling. Yeah. Drink at this, at this place called, CBGB's, which was a great place that we found in Portland. But I got to tell you about our favorite celebratory drink. **Thomas** (00:20:48:16 - 00:20:51:20): Thomas, you got to tell me. Chip. I want to hear about it. **Chip** (00:20:51:22 - 00:21:00:12): I'm not going to name the pub, but we're at this little bar important that we love to go to. And it's no frills. It is a no frills kind of down and dirty, like, fun. **Thomas** (00:21:00:12 - 00:21:07:09): Just there's just a sign that says bar on the outside. Basically, you walk in. I'm picturing a lot of wood on the inside. **Chip** (00:21:07:10 - 00:21:31:13): Yes, yes. And, we go in and it's just sort of some regulars there. There's not that many people. It's the type of place where they play. There's like a jukebox playing music, right? Yeah. And then on TVs all around are like second tier music videos, like MTV knockoff videos, like it'll be a video for, like, let's say, a Bon Jovi song from the 80s. But it won't be the official video. It'll just be like another different video for. **Thomas** (00:21:38:12 - 00:21:39:09): It, like fan. **Chip** (00:21:39:09 - 00:21:43:12): Made, you know how, like when you do karaoke and they'll just be like a video where it's just, like. **Thomas** (00:21:43:12 - 00:21:44:15): Just sunsets and stuff? **Chip** (00:21:44:15 - 00:22:00:10): Yeah. A guy driving a scooter in slow motion, but it's like, you give love a bad name. Like it's like that. Yeah. Right. So it's just this channel that shows off brand videos of music, like a lot of hair metal and stuff from the 80s. **Thomas** (00:22:00:12 - 00:22:01:16): But yeah. **Chip** (00:22:01:18 - 00:22:20:01): But here's the beautiful part. The music that's playing is from the jukebox isn't connected to those TVs at all. So you're watching a video, you can see because you're looking at the words and it'll be like Bon Jovi livin on a prayer, but it's not the livin on a prayer video, but the music that's playing is something completely different. Is a Tom petty song. So it's that's just beautiful right there. **Thomas** (00:22:23:13 - 00:22:26:21): Yeah, that's a real. It's keeps you on your toes is what it does. **Chip** (00:22:26:21 - 00:22:35:11): Yes, it does. And so we go in and the bartender, she's very sweet and we order. We each ordered a Tito's and soda because we're just like, hey, you know, trying. **Thomas** (00:22:35:11 - 00:22:36:22): To keeping it clean, I like it. **Chip** (00:22:36:22 - 00:22:54:06): Yeah. She gave us all of the Tito's and a splash soda each, and we're like, this is like three in the afternoon too. This was just like our kickoff drink. And we're like, I'm done for the night. Like it was all vodka. It was just all vodka. And we're like, all right. **Thomas** (00:22:54:06 - 00:22:55:23): Well, she generous with the limes chip. **Chip** (00:22:56:01 - 00:23:00:03): Very generous. Cutting up those, cutting up that citrus for us to just. **Thomas** (00:23:00:07 - 00:23:06:19): I think that's where the true generosity lies. You can tell how well they're taking care of you if they're, they're good on the citrus. **Chip** (00:23:06:19 - 00:23:28:09): Yes. So then she starts talking to us. She finds out we're from Philadelphia, but, like, hey, we've been we've been here before. We love coming to Portland. We love coming to this bar. And she's like, oh, great. She goes over, grab something out of a fridge, throws us each a jello shot. Thomas a jello shot each. And it was the most potent jello shot I've ever had in my entire life. It was the most alcoholic jello shot I've. **Thomas** (00:23:32:05 - 00:23:32:11): Ever. **Chip** (00:23:32:11 - 00:23:53:08): Been. So. So now it's 315 in the afternoon. We just want it just to kick off, like, just a little bevvy. Yeah. Here we've had like nine shots of vodka each and a jello shot, which somehow had about four shots of vodka in it. I don't know how that's possible, but, we were we were off to the races by 330 on Wednesday. **Thomas** (00:23:53:10 - 00:23:54:19): That's like a real frat start. **Chip** (00:23:54:19 - 00:23:57:15): Frat start Wednesday. And, it continued as such. **Thomas** (00:23:57:15 - 00:24:06:19): How did you and Kim handle that? Because I know that you're not the biggest booze bags on the planet, but you're starting off it, by my calculations. What? Must be four. **Chip** (00:24:06:19 - 00:24:09:23): Shots? Yeah, it was a lot at 3:00. **Thomas** (00:24:10:01 - 00:24:12:02): That was there a nap factored into the day? **Chip** (00:24:12:04 - 00:24:29:00): There was already a nap that happened that day. Okay. And it was so much so that, like, we went back to our hotel before we, like, went out for dinner. And I was like, do you just want to lay down for a few minutes? And my wife is like, no, she's like, we are not laying down. Because if so, we are not getting back up. **Thomas** (00:24:29:02 - 00:24:30:03): Oh, smart. **Chip** (00:24:30:03 - 00:24:44:19): We just had to kind of rally and just like, all right, we're going to walk around. We actually we had to buy some gifts for some people, you know, some like, you know, my parents watch the dog. We wanted to get them a little something. So we did a little drug shopping in Portland. And that kind of revitalized, by the way, drug shopping. And I apologize. You can't see it right now, Thomas. Because of my technical difficulties, I got a new hat. After all these years, I finally got a beautiful baseball hat that I love. It's their big thing. That up there in Maine right now is the Maine. A lot of these places, it's the Maine flag from 1901. So it's their state flag, which is just this white flag with a cutout of a pine tree with, like, a, blue star up in the corner. So that's all it is. It's, like, very basic, very clean. Love it. So I got that on my hat, but instead of the pine tree, it is just a green cutout of Sasquatch. So it's just Sasquatch with a star in it. So, when I bought it when I was drunk. And I feel very happy that I did. **Thomas** (00:25:25:13 - 00:25:29:10): Is there Sasquatch mythology around Maine? Is it? Is there been sightings? **Chip** (00:25:29:11 - 00:25:52:10): I think so, I mean, you're up there in the woods. People have. And, I've party with some people in Maine. You've definitely seen some animals up there that don't that aren't in the regular genus or species, you know, taxonomic hierarchy. There are there there's some there might be some yetis and some, you know, some Jersey devils, maybe a couple of, Sasquatch or two. **Thomas** (00:25:52:11 - 00:25:55:12): That sounds like a great hat. I can't wait to see it someday. I know. **Chip** (00:25:55:14 - 00:26:07:06): Someday, Thomas. Someday. So maybe I'll probably wear it, to Hawaii. I will have it to to block the sun. Speaking of going to Hawaii, I think we need to get into this right now. **Thomas** (00:26:07:08 - 00:26:08:17): Let's get into it. **Chip** (00:26:08:23 - 00:26:18:06): We had a couple who were very excited to go to Hawaii recently that made the news. That's how excited they were to go to Hawaii. Thomas. **Thomas** (00:26:18:06 - 00:26:21:15): Everybody's excited to go, but very few people make the news. **Chip** (00:26:21:15 - 00:26:47:05): Yeah, just based on enthusiasm. But these two did. There is a, a couple that, has, has made news, because they apparently and we're going to we are gonna let our viewers and listeners decide this. Yeah. They apparently joined the Mile High club while on a flight to Honolulu. **Thomas** (00:26:48:01 - 00:26:50:10): Gross. Right? Yep. Okay. Well, gross. **Chip** (00:26:50:11 - 00:27:09:11): Thomas, real quick, I want you to walk me through this. And neither of us are members of the Mile High club, but let's just say you were like, hypothetically. Whatever. How does that I need you? You're on a plane, you're with your significant other. Or maybe you're just. You're a younger, single guy. There's a nice gal that's two rows over. Whatever. Okay, can you just walk without getting to, you know, graphic? Walk me through the details of how 1 or 2 would join the Mile High club. Like, how does that go down on a plane? So you're in a plane 30,000ft. You decide it's going to happen. What do you do? **Thomas** (00:27:25:09 - 00:27:44:08): I can't imagine this happening in broad daylight. I feel like most people would. It would kind of be like an overnight thing where a lot of people were dozed off and sleeping and not paying attention because it's just so obvious, like, you got to get two people, I think, into the lavatory, which isn't big enough for one person generally. And I can tell you right now, I've changed a baby in those bathroom, okay? And there's barely enough room for me and a baby, right? **Chip** (00:27:52:14 - 00:27:54:06): Like, yeah. **Thomas** (00:27:54:08 - 00:28:25:19): It is. Yeah. I just can't imagine two grown adults doing it stealthily and, having any kind of enjoyment. It's just like a gross environment in there. Those kinds of bathrooms. Yeah. I don't know. You kind of got to be. Just be in a real animalistic state. Yes. To want to try to accomplish that. But I think a lot of it, the prestige of it, the magic trick of it all is getting two people to a private area, on an airplane without of the people knowing it. And I just don't see how you do that unless it is a red eye where if you are pretty confident everybody else is a slave. **Chip** (00:28:32:10 - 00:28:34:06): Well, here's the good news, Thomas. **Thomas** (00:28:34:08 - 00:28:35:10): Okay, give me the good news. **Chip** (00:28:35:15 - 00:28:40:09): This couple did not have to go to a private area. Oh, yeah? **Thomas** (00:28:40:11 - 00:28:42:22): Well, all right, tell me. **Chip** (00:28:43:03 - 00:28:46:17): They just did it right where they were. Apparently right in the row. **Thomas** (00:28:47:18 - 00:28:49:07): Boy, in the seats. **Chip** (00:28:49:07 - 00:29:08:05): In the seats? Yeah. Now. Okay. Couple of couple of issues. First of all, this was a flight from Minneapolis to Honolulu right away. Red flags. Okay, that that shouldn't be in a flight that you can take. You get on a plane in Minneapolis and then you land in Honolulu. **Thomas** (00:29:08:05 - 00:29:29:11): It's all starting to make a little more sense now, chip, can you imagine where what they're escaping. This is like breaking out of a winter prison for that. Yeah. They've lost all sense of reality. They were able to go on a website, buy a plane ticket and escape what I'm assuming was a Minnesota winter and be heading to Paradise. **Chip** (00:29:29:11 - 00:29:37:11): And then just also just be bombarded with prints, songs constantly. And you're so you're just you're just feeling the vibe. **Thomas** (00:29:37:12 - 00:29:48:14): The amount of talent, the amount of just erotic vibes rolling through their systems mixed with the thawing that's happening is they, you know, fly over the Continental divide. **Chip** (00:29:48:16 - 00:29:48:23): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:29:50:03 - 00:29:55:12): Yeah. From Minnesota to Honolulu. Yeah. It doesn't seem like it should exist, but it does. **Chip** (00:29:55:12 - 00:30:02:10): There should be another stop to acclimate you. It's it's. I feel like you would get the bends. You know how, like, with a diver comes up too quickly. **Thomas** (00:30:02:10 - 00:30:05:05): Maybe that's is this version of the bands. **Chip** (00:30:05:08 - 00:30:16:07): They may have bubbles in their bloodstream. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, it's. It's kind of like saying that. It's like. That's like a flight from, like from Moscow to Cancun should not happen. Do you hear anything? You can't do that. **Thomas** (00:30:16:11 - 00:30:16:18): Yeah. **Chip** (00:30:16:18 - 00:30:17:03): It's not. **Thomas** (00:30:17:03 - 00:30:20:03): Allowed. This flight is what it sounds like, right? When doves. **Chip** (00:30:20:03 - 00:30:24:05): Cry. Yeah. And doves did cry, my friend. **Thomas** (00:30:24:14 - 00:30:29:05): Doves would cry. They are very proud. They are very modest creatures. Yes. **Chip** (00:30:29:07 - 00:30:49:04): Okay, now here's where I am taking issue with this entire story. Okay? Because the headline was Mile High Club up above. Whatever. Okay. May TMZ, even though they're not celebrities but they're celebrities now, it occurred right in the row, right at their seats. Now, here's the problem, okay? I don't want to get kicked out of YouTube for this. And also, I don't like to be too crass or whatever, but let's just say this was not lovemaking, all right? Okay. Let's just say there was a blanket involved. And, Thomas, are you familiar with the Minneapolis slide whistle to know? Okay, well, if you can use your imagination, it, it was not, they were not trying to make a baby. Let's just say that. Okay? **Thomas** (00:31:14:06 - 00:31:15:03): Okay, I get it. **Chip** (00:31:15:09 - 00:31:28:02): It was just, one lady helping out a gentleman. Okay, okay. That makes sense. Yeah. Okay. So is that really the mile high club? I don't think that counts, because it's not. **Thomas** (00:31:28:04 - 00:31:38:12): Yeah, that's not that's not the traditional understanding. Yeah. I think, you know, we talked about fifth base, right? A couple of weeks ago when the movie together came out. Yes. **Chip** (00:31:39:01 - 00:31:40:22): We saw things in the movie. **Thomas** (00:31:40:22 - 00:31:53:09): Yeah. Do make fifth base the most, uncomfortable thing we've ever seen. I think the mile high club normally starts a base before that. Yes. Home run. Yeah. And say whatever you want to. **Chip** (00:31:53:09 - 00:31:55:02): Call third base, let's call it, you know. **Thomas** (00:31:55:02 - 00:32:16:23): So let's say third base. Third base in the open air. This is just kind of a weird, gross, selfish thing to do, I think. Yes, on an airplane, especially if you're not good enough at it to not get caught, which they clearly weren't. Yeah, because it ended up on TMZ. Yes. Which, oddly enough, in 2025 is maybe one of my top three trusted news sources. **Chip** (00:32:16:23 - 00:32:37:15): I. Me too. Yeah. There's. Yeah, it's it's that it's, Yahoo! And, just, my neighbor on the corner that I walk past every morning tells me about the Phillies and, and, yeah, conspiracy theories he's got. Those are the only trusted news sources. So. Yeah. So. Okay, so again, I don't really think they get moral high status. I don't think that that. Yeah, counts. Post, by the way, in the article, it just said that they were doing it right there in their economy seats, which first of all feels like a little slap in the face, seems a little classist that they had to, like, say that it was in the economy section. But at the same time, yeah. Very believable. I think we can I think we can agree that that's not necessarily happening in first class. You know what I'm saying? **Thomas** (00:33:01:12 - 00:33:07:03): I think they are talking more about the the logistics of it though, like, yes, that does make. **Chip** (00:33:07:03 - 00:33:07:12): Tiny. **Thomas** (00:33:07:12 - 00:33:14:22): Little more it's hard. It does make it a little more aggressive. Like, yes, you're you're crammed in there probably next to other people. **Chip** (00:33:14:22 - 00:33:15:10): Yes. **Thomas** (00:33:15:10 - 00:33:18:10): Like there's not a lot of leg room. **Chip** (00:33:18:10 - 00:33:18:19): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:33:19:01 - 00:33:26:06): There's not a lot of room side to side. Nope. I get I get why they would mention it and it seems like something that TMZ would bring up, you. **Chip** (00:33:26:06 - 00:33:42:02): Know what I mean? Of course. Yeah. Because they just have to, you know, do that. But and this was brought to Tmc's attention, I guess, because literally the guy, like, next to them was just like, this is happening. This is crazy. I'm gonna take out my phone and, you know, film this. **Thomas** (00:33:42:02 - 00:33:44:00): Oh, there was a video of it. **Chip** (00:33:44:03 - 00:33:54:15): Yeah. And I don't know if they actually posted the video. There's a, there's a still from it. So like you can see the still but I think maybe it would be illegal just to post that video. For whatever. Yeah. 2 to. **Thomas** (00:33:54:15 - 00:33:55:09): 2 graphic. **Chip** (00:33:55:12 - 00:33:56:01): Yeah. Exact. **Thomas** (00:33:56:05 - 00:33:56:21): No graphic. **Chip** (00:33:56:21 - 00:34:14:15): Right. So it's just a still for him. But you can see what's happening there again a blanket whatever. So yeah. So apparently they they land in Hawaii and waiting for them where, the FBI and some local deputies at the airport and. **Thomas** (00:34:14:15 - 00:34:17:00): Those are, federal breast inspectors. **Chip** (00:34:17:00 - 00:34:38:23): Federal boobie inspectors. Exactly. Let's just say when they met them at the airport, this is the first time a couple had a lay before they got to the airport. Oh. That's true. You see what I'm saying? They did not get a lay when they, when they landed, but they were met instead with FBI agents at deputy, which is amazing, because. Yeah, that means it was radioed ahead that, like, you have to have authorities there because this is going down. Yeah. That's a fun cockpit conversation. Yeah. Like whenever you have to call like, hey, God forbid, you know, there are terrorists on this plane or. **Thomas** (00:34:56:23 - 00:34:57:05): I. **Chip** (00:34:57:05 - 00:35:21:23): Know two, two engines have gone down or at the very least, we have a very unruly passenger who is assaulting other passengers. They're like, hey, we got a 369 here, you know, and like, they're just saying, all right, boys made it at the airport. We got a couple of, dirty dogs back in row 27, and they're just like, all right, we'll see you at the airport. And they land. So that has to be one of the most fun distress calls you you can make from a cockpit. **Thomas** (00:35:29:12 - 00:35:35:02): Oh, yeah. I mean, it's it normally is so serious. That is just a little gross, a little weird. **Chip** (00:35:35:04 - 00:35:46:23): And it's like, have some respect for air travel. This is this is an airplane flying over the Pacific Ocean. This is not a charter bus on a senior class trip to Washington, DC. Do you want I'm saying exactly. **Thomas** (00:35:46:23 - 00:35:58:05): Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So they stepped off the plane. They were expecting a flag. They got, rested. And also, like, you're getting off that plane. **Chip** (00:35:58:05 - 00:36:01:03): You're getting on that plane and getting off. Go ahead. Thomas. **Thomas** (00:36:01:06 - 00:36:17:09): I mean, he was, but, like, as as one of the other passengers, let's say you didn't see what's happening. Yeah, but all of a sudden, you get off and there's all these authorities. Your brain's just going to run wild. Like what was going on, because they don't tell you. They try and keep the herd calm. **Chip** (00:36:17:09 - 00:36:17:22): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:36:18:00 - 00:36:33:19): They keep you in the dark to what's going on. You only get the information you need generally. And, Yeah, it would just be very confusing of, like, were we on there with, like, Pablo Escobar's son, right. He's being, like, brought to to justice or. **Chip** (00:36:33:20 - 00:36:39:09): There was a lot of blow, I'll say that. **Thomas** (00:36:39:11 - 00:36:48:09): Yes. The very cartel. Yeah. So, yeah, there there's there's a lot of, there's a lot of layers to, this little story here. **Chip** (00:36:48:09 - 00:37:06:13): But by the way, I will say so. They were taken and spoken to by the the FBI and the deputies. They weren't official. So no official arrests have been made yet because there's like a but and maybe as of now there has been but but like they have to go through like the because they're just getting reports of this. **Thomas** (00:37:06:14 - 00:37:08:10): There's just a they're only oral reports. **Chip** (00:37:08:14 - 00:37:23:09): They are only or reports. Time is that's all it is. Right. But they have to watch the video and they have to like decide, okay, do this happen. And then I think they would be, the arrest will be made, but I got it. And, this was the Delta flight, by the way, and. **Thomas** (00:37:23:17 - 00:37:24:13): Classic Delta. **Chip** (00:37:24:13 - 00:37:33:10): I will say I have been screwed by Delta a number of times, but never like this. **Thomas** (00:37:34:08 - 00:37:52:02): Yeah, I did, in general, I don't I don't know that air travelers getting weirder or wilder per se, but I'm definitely hearing about a lot more incidents. Yeah, it feels like people are becoming very bizarre on airplanes. **Chip** (00:37:52:07 - 00:37:58:10): When you say incidents like, are you talking about incidents like this or like in general incidents like violence or whatever? **Thomas** (00:37:58:12 - 00:38:19:10): Yeah, I mean, we've talked about this beforehand, but like, you know, my algorithm was smooth sailing until I watched one video too long of some people getting kicked off a cruise ship. Yeah. And then for a solid month, all I saw was people getting dragged off of airplanes. There was that, like, truly unhinged woman who, like, did you see it? Grabbed the hair of the lady next to put it, like, oh, was like just calling her all kinds of filthy names and stuff like. And like it being the meanest I've ever seen somebody be. Yeah. While also being a, I don't want to say what she was going through, but like it didn't seem like she probably normally acted this way. Yeah. But you know, we just have cameras now. You can use your phone on airplanes. You can record these things. So I wonder if they were always going on and we just didn't know about it. But I. **Chip** (00:38:53:12 - 00:38:53:23): Think that's part. **Thomas** (00:38:53:23 - 00:39:11:22): Of how many insane videos of. And now we've got the AI into it. Did you see that video that was going around about the woman trying to get her kangaroo onto a flight? Oh, so it was it? Yeah, it was the AI generated video of a woman trying to board a plane with the kangaroo and being, like, shot down. Okay. And it just went viral. And, like, if you don't look close, if you don't know what's going on, you think, like, this really happened. **Chip** (00:39:19:20 - 00:39:20:20): Really? **Thomas** (00:39:20:22 - 00:39:48:18): That's so credible. Yeah. There's there's lots of videos going on of real things happening. And then the fake ones are coming in behind it. It makes you think that every flight is absolutely insane. But I'm curious. We're going to keep up the tradition of not looking up or having any actual information. Yeah, on this podcast. But I, I, I forget what it was, but there's just millions and millions of people who fly every single day. There's thousands and thousands of flights out of, like, LAX alone. **Chip** (00:39:54:10 - 00:39:55:03): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:39:55:05 - 00:40:07:01): And, you know, these incidents are so few and far between, but when they actually happen, now that the video is spreading around, it makes you feel like you might have a crazy flight next time you get in there. **Chip** (00:40:07:01 - 00:40:26:04): And I think that's what it is. It's boring out there in the real world. It's it is pretty boring, I think, to a certain extent. Like every flight I take, you know, knock on wood, so far as you know, it's boring. There's nothing's happening. There's not even that fun stuff happening. It's just a guy who decides to have a tuna salad sandwich next, and you're like, dude, really? Like, that's the biggest threat that I've had. **Thomas** (00:40:28:23 - 00:40:55:01): I'm thankful for it because I love to travel. Yeah, but, you see the you see one video and, you know, and it just makes you think like, oh, this might be, it's just not the case. Yeah. I've been on hundreds of flights and I've never had anything but but boring incidences, a couple of turbulence. Yeah, a couple of turbulence flights, like where I, you know, was, reacquainted with some kind of a religion. Other than that, really, really nothing to speak of. And I'm grateful for. **Chip** (00:40:59:18 - 00:41:11:19): The way to go. That's what you want? Boredom on a flight, and then you get to your location and you're so excited. Like the flight. I know we talked about the journey, but the journey, the flight should never be the most fun part ever. **Thomas** (00:41:12:00 - 00:41:28:21): It shouldn't be. But that flight there is always so much better in the flight back. On on flights, two vacations, on going there. I'm always more inclined to book a little nicer a little nicer seat on the way there, spend a little extra money on the way there than on the way back. **Chip** (00:41:28:21 - 00:41:36:01): Yeah, because on the way back, you're just like, hung over either physically or just emotionally. And you can just sort of crash out. **Thomas** (00:41:36:02 - 00:41:51:04): The trip's over. I'm sliding back into my normal, life, which is not a wine vacation. Yeah. I it's fine. It's fine if I come back on economy. Yeah, but, baby, on the way there, a lot of times I'm going economy plus. **Chip** (00:41:51:04 - 00:41:54:23): Yeah. You are. Look at you, look at you. **Thomas** (00:41:55:01 - 00:42:01:07): I love getting into it. Well, so no charges have been formally brought as, as. **Chip** (00:42:01:07 - 00:42:02:18): Of the the reading of. **Thomas** (00:42:02:18 - 00:42:03:04): This, this. **Chip** (00:42:03:04 - 00:42:04:08): Recording. **Thomas** (00:42:04:10 - 00:42:32:13): But, yeah, I hope everybody's okay. And I hope nobody on that, flight had their, trip to Honolulu compromised because they were getting ready to have a wonderful time, and I just can't I almost can't blame these people because I think going from Minnesota to Hawaii is such an intoxicating idea that you could lose your mind a little bit in the process. **Chip** (00:42:32:13 - 00:42:37:09): He was having a blue owl in his pants, and we were all invited. **Thomas** (00:42:38:00 - 00:42:41:04): Oh man, pulled pork. **Chip** (00:42:41:06 - 00:42:45:21): Anyways, **Thomas** (00:42:45:23 - 00:42:47:12): **Chip** (00:42:47:14 - 00:43:15:14): That's all right. I think we should move on time. So, because this is what we're here for, remember? We're here for a number of things to the listeners and viewers. We're here for comedy, for tropical travel. We are here for Salem witch history deep dives. We are here for spiritualism of the oceans. And we're here for hard breaking news like this couple on a flight to Hawaii that apparently joined the Mile High club and China and let us know. I don't think if this happened, I don't think it counts. I don't think they're maybe they're like auxiliary members at best. **Thomas** (00:43:23:11 - 00:43:31:22): Yeah. Mile high or her side eye. Tell us in the head. Tell us in the comments. **Chip** (00:43:32:11 - 00:43:37:19): I'm feeling good. Thomas, do you know what the only thing that would make me feel better right now is, **Thomas** (00:43:37:21 - 00:43:39:03): I have a feeling I do. **Chip** (00:43:39:04 - 00:43:42:20): It's cracking open the cracking open the good book. **Thomas** (00:43:42:22 - 00:43:47:01): Oh, man. Let's get into it. Cracking good book. **Chip** (00:43:47:05 - 00:43:55:18): Just open in that spine. Looking into the annals of history, the greatest book of all back. **Thomas** (00:43:56:04 - 00:43:59:11): If you look into the annals of history on a plane, you can also you can. **Chip** (00:43:59:11 - 00:44:01:13): It is considered a high club. Yes. **Thomas** (00:44:01:15 - 00:44:04:07): Depending on how wide you spread them. **Chip** (00:44:04:07 - 00:44:04:16): Yes. **Thomas** (00:44:04:20 - 00:44:07:09): Jeff, what's your what's your Guinness Book of World Records back. And for everybody at home, we're working on the 2025 Guinness Book of World Records here. Every week we're, we're each bringing you our favorite fact of the week. Chip, what caught your eye this week? **Chip** (00:44:22:19 - 00:44:38:15): All right. I was so excited for this episode because I was really thinking I was looking for the best. You know, we've done some really interesting feats, and I decided to hit this one. I don't know if you know this, but we got a record in 2025. The tallest man ever. **Thomas** (00:44:38:15 - 00:44:39:11): Okay. **Chip** (00:44:39:13 - 00:44:40:19): Okay. Do you know who they love? **Thomas** (00:44:40:19 - 00:44:49:06): It. I'm, I'm not familiar with who the current record holder is. Is it the one I'm familiar with, or do we have a new reigning champ? **Chip** (00:44:49:06 - 00:44:51:12): Who's the one you're familiar with? Thomas? **Thomas** (00:44:52:00 - 00:44:59:17): Gosh, I do not remember his name, but he was an older British gentleman. Coke bottle glasses, face like a frying pan. **Chip** (00:44:59:18 - 00:45:24:16): You are going to be so excited. Okay. The record holder for the tallest man and tallest person ever lived is your boy, Robert Wadlow. He's the guy. Yeah. Okay, here's the crazy part, though. You okay? This is a mandela effect thing. This is Sinbad's genie movie of the Guinness Book of World Records. **Thomas** (00:45:24:18 - 00:45:27:18): Really? He has. Sinbad didn't have a genie? **Chip** (00:45:27:18 - 00:45:28:23): No. **Thomas** (00:45:29:00 - 00:45:31:06): It was Shaquille. And it was Shaquille O'Neal. **Chip** (00:45:31:08 - 00:45:43:13): Right. Here's the thing, Robert, while not British, if you had to ask me if you would, I would have put $1 million on the fact that he was British. He's not. **Thomas** (00:45:43:14 - 00:45:45:00): They call him pounds over there. **Chip** (00:45:45:02 - 00:46:03:11): They do. They call him pounds. I would have to drop some quid. But he is your boy that you are thinking about from way back in the day. Coke bottle glasses, the whole thing. Always wearing a suit. I think it's what it was. The glasses, the suit. He had a cane. He's a classy, classy man. **Thomas** (00:46:03:13 - 00:46:05:01): So Mr. thought. **Chip** (00:46:05:02 - 00:46:07:20): He was from jolly old London. **Thomas** (00:46:08:12 - 00:46:10:08): And he is not. Where is he from? **Chip** (00:46:10:10 - 00:46:14:00): You ready for this? He's from Alton, Illinois. **Thomas** (00:46:14:02 - 00:46:15:00): Get the f out. **Chip** (00:46:15:01 - 00:46:25:23): He is the Alton Giant. That's what they call him. Also known as the Gentle Giant. We'll get into that. But, yeah, Robert Wadlow, they did a spread of him, literally. It's almost like a pull out. It's like a. **Thomas** (00:46:25:23 - 00:46:28:16): Centerfold. They didn't spread his annals of prejudice. **Chip** (00:46:28:16 - 00:46:42:09): Annals, all over the book. Yeah. If you go into the 2025 edition, they have like a two pager. We open it up and you turn it the other way again, very Playboy esque, but it's, it's it's a picture of him. He is now in an icon. **Thomas** (00:46:42:11 - 00:46:45:07): It's a it's it's a centerfold with 14. **Chip** (00:46:45:08 - 00:46:54:21): It just keeps flapping out like, oh, we gotta keep it just like a fan just picked it up. We're almost there. We're almost to the knees. Thomas. We're almost to the knees. **Thomas** (00:46:54:23 - 00:46:59:08): Oh, I am getting the vapors. **Chip** (00:46:59:10 - 00:47:23:09): Just that old musty Guinness Book of World Records. Smell of that, paper? Yeah, of that book. And just folding out. And it hasn't been unfolded in decades, so it's just all dusty in there. T dad is like. That is like finding one eyed Willie's treasure map. Like that is. That's what that would be. And, so I want to do this because I was so excited because it's the. This is not a new record, Thomas. But he still holds the record. He's still there and he has been named an icon. They the Guinness Book has done this thing now where they have these, you know, these kind of like almost like lifetime achievement awards kind of things. Like they're the icons, I think, because he's the guy. And I'm going to say this right now, Tommy, that kind of freaked me out when I was a kid. He kind of scared me a little bit because he's a literal giant. Yeah. How does he get like that? Is he going to hurt me? Like, those are some of those pictures that we talk about from those early days of the Guinness Book of World Records were like, whoa, this guy is freaky. This guy is scary. And I'm here to tell you that he was not. I'm you're not going to have nightmares tonight. At least not about this. Okay. **Thomas** (00:48:03:07 - 00:48:10:23): Yeah. And he's he's from the Midwest. I assume this is just a lot of corn fed, whole milk. Yeah. Lifestyle. **Chip** (00:48:10:23 - 00:48:22:07): Absolutely. Yeah. So he was born in Alton, Illinois in, 1918. Okay. So, I think it was outside of Saint Louis, Missouri. So it's like, I guess pretty far south in there. **Thomas** (00:48:22:22 - 00:48:24:01): Okay. Right there on the border. **Chip** (00:48:24:02 - 00:48:40:14): Thank God for his mother. He was a regular sized baby. Just a regular size. Just came out normal. Oh, he's a regular kid. But then it was found out that he had an a large pituitary gland that, it so it it shot out way too much HGH. **Thomas** (00:48:40:15 - 00:48:41:05): Rogers. **Chip** (00:48:41:05 - 00:49:03:07): Yeah, exactly. And just boom. He just started growing like crazy by the time he was eight years old, he was already taller than his father, who was five, 11. So like in, you know, 1926 or whenever that was like, yeah, 511. That's a pretty tall guy, but like average to tall. But by that, you know, standard. Yeah. So his dad wasn't a slouch by any stretch. But he also wasn't a giant. He was, you know, 511. So by age eight, he was already tall. And his dad, by his graduation in 1936, he was eight foot four. Wow. **Thomas** (00:49:14:02 - 00:49:15:12): That's a tall drink of water. **Chip** (00:49:15:12 - 00:49:24:14): Eight foot four. At graduation. And at graduation, he was voted most likely to do whatever he pleases because he was going to. **Thomas** (00:49:24:17 - 00:49:25:12): Giant's off to. **Chip** (00:49:25:12 - 00:49:42:13): Na. So he did have to wear, leg braces for this. I guess part of the, you know, health issues. You know, with the growth or whatever, you could wear leg braces. And he generally walked with, like a cane or a walking stick. So he had that. Yeah. At his tallest. Thomas. And this is still the world record today. He it was eight foot, 11.1in tall. So he's basically nine feet tall. **Thomas** (00:49:49:11 - 00:49:52:05): You're almost bumping your head on a basketball rim at that point. **Chip** (00:49:52:05 - 00:50:02:09): Absolutely. Like his head would hit the net like the bottom of the net. Yeah, 100%. At his heaviest he was 491 pounds. **Thomas** (00:50:02:11 - 00:50:04:14): That's a thick stick right there. **Chip** (00:50:04:14 - 00:50:19:07): It's a big boy. Now here's my favorite part of this whole story. And this is why I wanted to do this one. Because it is again it's because it's that guy that we talked about. And those old black and white photos and you're like oh my god, what's this dude? He did have a job for a while traveling with Ringling Brothers Circus. Okay. But he was always in the center ring. He was never in the sideshow. He was like, no, I'm not doing that. And, here's my favorite part of Robert Wadlow. He always just wore his street clothes in the center ring. He refused to wear a top hat and tails like the circus wanted them to. They wanted to get them all tied up, and he would. So he would just. It's the most punk rock thing I've ever heard. He would just walk out and be like, hey, what's up? Bob? Like, hey, guys, that's it. I'm just. Yeah, I'm just a guy. I'm just here. Yeah, I'm nine feet tall, but whatever it like. So he was just like, hey, I'm not doing any of this freak show stuff. I'm just a regular guy. By all accounts, he was like, super nice guy. He was kind of like, funny about, like, what? You know about, like, his situation. He was just everybody just, like, loved him. Like in his town. They were just like, he's just like a regular kid. And, yeah, it was just. He was just just bigger, you know? He's just. I'm just Bob. So that's why they called him the Gentle Giant or the Alton Giant. **Thomas** (00:51:19:02 - 00:51:19:10): Yeah. **Chip** (00:51:19:11 - 00:51:22:22): Thomas, you want to guess what size shoe he wore? Ooh. **Thomas** (00:51:22:22 - 00:51:29:09): Size shoe. Let's go with, Well, as we all know, I wear a size 16. **Chip** (00:51:29:09 - 00:51:30:09): Look at. Yes. Idiot. **Thomas** (00:51:30:16 - 00:51:40:17): So I imagine he's a little bit bigger than me. Let's go. Size 24, size 37. Shoe a size 3737. **Chip** (00:51:40:17 - 00:52:01:04): They cost $100 to make at the time, which is $1,700 ish. Today, they had to be custom made. So what he did was after the circus, he started traveling the country. He toured with the International Shoe Company and did like appearances to show his big shoes. So they would get that. And here's the thing that I always really liked. He always considered himself working in advertising and marketing. He wasn't like, I'm not some sort of like, traveling oddity freak show thing. He's like, no, I'm just advertising their shoes. They can see these giant shoes. This is what they do. Whatever. Yeah, and he did that. Now, unfortunately, when he was, when he was traveling with that, one of his ankles got irritated by the leg brace that the one leg bracing. **Thomas** (00:52:26:23 - 00:52:27:22): Created this. **Chip** (00:52:27:22 - 00:52:54:15): String. It got infected. Okay. No. Yeah. And back then, infections, you know, they didn't know exactly what to do. Yeah. He actually, it's some blood transfusions and surgery, but unfortunately, in 1940, a couple weeks after this, initial thing happened, he passed away at age of 22. Now, I always thought he passed away because, you know, I think sometimes you hear about, these people, they have a shorter lifespan. But this was actually. Yeah, just from a a, irritation, a blister that got infected from his one leg brace. That's what it was. He was only 22 years old, passed away in his sleep after trying to get this infection, under apparently at a 106 degree fever for a while. And, when he, at his funeral, he was buried in a coffin that was ten feet, nine inches long. It weighed over 1,000 pounds. And he had 12 pallbearers with eight assistants. So basically 20 people, carrying him out. But, that and there's even some video of him. You can see he's speaking in some of these things that I think I used to be so freaked out by. Like, who is this man? He's a giant. He just seem like a regular dude from Alton, Illinois. And he's like, hey, what's up? And Bob loved him. That is my Guinness Book of World record and icon, a legend. Thomas pulling back the books, the pages. Robert Wadlow, the tallest man ever. **Thomas** (00:53:51:20 - 00:53:55:12): Let's give it up for Bob. **Chip** (00:53:55:14 - 00:53:57:07): Bobby. **Thomas** (00:53:57:09 - 00:54:15:17): Bobby boy. Dude. That's great. Yeah, that is a great fact. Thanks for running that damn mind. I we don't talk about what records we're going to be discussing. Mine also has to do with extreme size. Chep can even imagine. **Chip** (00:54:15:17 - 00:54:16:17): What. **Thomas** (00:54:16:19 - 00:54:22:07): We are just on parallel thinking. We were on two different coasts, looking at the same body of water. **Chip** (00:54:22:07 - 00:54:22:21): Somewhere and. **Thomas** (00:54:22:21 - 00:54:36:09): Figuring out somewhere out there, finding world records that have, as Coolio said, size on the rise and a motion for your ocean. Coolio has got the potion to keep the party going. **Chip** (00:54:36:18 - 00:54:40:20): Just the, also greatest poet of all time in the in the Guinness book. **Thomas** (00:54:40:22 - 00:54:55:09): Yeah. R.I.P Coolio and Bob. Yeah. So as you well know, summertime is the right time for a lot of things. But here in my neighborhood it also means spider season and they have come out with a vengeance. **Chip** (00:54:55:14 - 00:54:56:11): They have a score to settle. **Thomas** (00:54:56:11 - 00:55:33:02): They do have a score to settle with me, apparently. Yeah. Just all over the neighborhood, all over my property. And, I'm just clearing out spider webs left and right and on the door to my office. The last four times I've tried to enter it, a spider web across the whole thing. Oh my God. And these spider webs are so intense that the other day we saw a full sized monarch butterfly at the peak of its monarch butterfly power, incapable of escaping these gigantic webs that are thrown around here. **Chip** (00:55:33:02 - 00:55:36:05): Wow. Shooting for the king and landing the. **Thomas** (00:55:36:05 - 00:55:47:11): Wire, I think. Yeah. But inspired by my real life circumstances, I wanted to check out what's the biggest spider in the world? **Chip** (00:55:47:12 - 00:55:48:16): I'm sold. I'm in. **Thomas** (00:55:48:17 - 00:56:06:09): And for that, we have to go down to South America, to find, It's so wild because you talked about a giant. Yeah. And this spider is literally named the Goliath bird eating tarantula. Yep. **Chip** (00:56:06:09 - 00:56:07:20): Oh, my God. **Thomas** (00:56:07:22 - 00:56:09:09): It's a Goliath. **Chip** (00:56:09:12 - 00:56:10:18): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:56:10:20 - 00:56:35:13): Only, rivaled by David in popular culture. The Goliath bird eating tarantula. And this bad boy gets big. On average, it can get to 6.2oz. Oh, which is roughly the weight of a very heavy duty pack of playing cards. **Chip** (00:56:35:13 - 00:56:36:05): **Thomas** (00:56:36:07 - 00:56:43:08): Okay. And has a leg span, usually of around nine inches. **Chip** (00:56:43:08 - 00:56:46:04): Chip, that's a personal pan pizza, Thomas. Right there. **Thomas** (00:56:46:04 - 00:56:53:07): Oh, it's very personal. If the legs are this hairy. But I want to take you back to a simpler time. **Chip** (00:56:53:07 - 00:56:54:06): Okay. **Thomas** (00:56:55:02 - 00:57:20:09): Time before mile-high clubs. A time before videos on airplanes. We're going back to 1965. Ooh. When a naturalist from the San Martin expedition caught a Goliath bird eating spider with the leg span of 11in. Chip. **Chip** (00:57:20:11 - 00:57:21:00): Oh, my God. **Thomas** (00:57:21:00 - 00:57:30:07): Thomas. Near Rio Cavaco, Venezuela. Just an almost a foot long spider. **Chip** (00:57:30:11 - 00:57:32:20): Yeah. **Thomas** (00:57:32:22 - 00:57:48:20): That's who. Who is known primarily for eating birds. Not unlike the snakes of snake Island, right. Who had to adapt to largely a bird diet once they killed everything else that lived on Snake Island. **Chip** (00:57:48:20 - 00:57:52:23): Yeah. How do they even catch these birds? So they catch these birds in giant webs. **Thomas** (00:57:52:23 - 00:58:11:21): They got to do something. I'm not super familiar with it, but I do know that they have, you know, some some form of venom in their bites, but they're sizable. Dude, if they get though, I mean, at 11in, if you get those arms wrapped around a little bird, it's done. Yeah, sure. They also, can crawl for eggs, find people in their nest. **Chip** (00:58:11:21 - 00:58:13:21): 100%, really. **Thomas** (00:58:13:21 - 00:58:23:21): Really spooky stuff. I thought the biggest spiders would have been in Australia. Yeah. If you look at videos of huntsman spiders in Australia, it'll it'll ruin a couple of nights sleep for you. **Chip** (00:58:23:21 - 00:58:35:15): Yeah. 11in. Like, I would be that naturalist in Argentina or Venezuela and just walk past me like, oh, hey, look, a fake spider. Somebody left their Halloween decorations up, and then I'd be dead. **Thomas** (00:58:35:17 - 00:58:50:00): Not in 1965. I don't think they were making them like that. I would have set the record finding that spider for highest pitched male frame and maybe, maybe the quickest 100 yard dash. After that, you'd. **Chip** (00:58:50:00 - 00:58:52:00): Be setting records all over the place. **Thomas** (00:58:52:00 - 00:59:08:08): Yeah, and I will just freak out, too. Yeah, like I'm just walking out my front door in the morning. Just like these spider webs are so hot that when I walk through them, the branches on the trees that they're connected to visibly shake before it break. **Chip** (00:59:08:09 - 00:59:10:00): Because they're scared. Thomas. **Thomas** (00:59:10:02 - 00:59:12:07): Yeah, that the. Yeah, the trees are scared. **Chip** (00:59:12:07 - 00:59:28:17): But so Thomas to recap 11 inch spider by the way. 11 inch spider. That was my nickname in college actually this chip. It's yeah that is a that as as not scary as Robert Wadlow was. **Thomas** (00:59:28:19 - 00:59:29:02): Yeah. **Chip** (00:59:29:03 - 00:59:31:18): You brought the fear factor right back in with that. And I. **Thomas** (00:59:31:18 - 00:59:38:05): Love it. Yeah. It's true. And, you know, by retroactive subway pricings. That's almost a $5. **Chip** (00:59:38:05 - 00:59:40:11): Spider at 100%. Yeah. **Thomas** (00:59:40:13 - 01:00:15:20): That's it for the good. Yeah, good gravy too. I love the good books. It's time to move into another segment, though, Chip. Something that's a little more chiller, a little more fun, and just has a positive outlook on the universe. I'm talking about Mister Jimmy Buffett. And each week, Chip and I do some deep, deep research to bring you, the viewer and each other a brand new fact about Mister Jimmy Buffett that only the hardest of hardcore fans, the largest of Parrot Heads, might already know. **Chip** (01:00:15:21 - 01:00:17:16): **Thomas** (01:00:17:23 - 01:00:22:04): Chip. What what what did you find out about Mr. Buffett this week? **Chip** (01:00:22:07 - 01:00:34:12): Jimmy Buffett lived to be 76 with a real feel of 82. **Thomas** (01:00:34:14 - 01:00:38:04): Just that just that constant tropical, area there just. **Chip** (01:00:44:01 - 01:00:50:15): Brings the heat and the chill at the same time. It's just the perfect weather all the time. **Thomas** (01:00:50:21 - 01:01:02:06): Let me hit you with this. Jimmy Buffett once played twister barefoot. Scientists still call the aftermath hurricane Andrew. **Chip** (01:01:02:08 - 01:01:04:01): A lot of spin and a lot of energy. Dude. **Thomas** (01:01:04:01 - 01:01:05:23): You know it's a sock on foot game. **Chip** (01:01:05:23 - 01:01:09:14): It is a sock on foot game. It is a twister of twister. **Thomas** (01:01:09:14 - 01:01:17:10): Can you imagine Mr. Buffett with the force he had, ignoring that rule and the power he could generate from a barefoot twister. **Chip** (01:01:17:12 - 01:01:18:21): Is what that is. Talk. **Thomas** (01:01:18:21 - 01:01:21:03): When you've got that much power, you got to be really careful. **Chip** (01:01:21:04 - 01:01:26:09): It's going to screw up. The golf stream is what it's going to do when you're that powerful. **Thomas** (01:01:26:11 - 01:01:35:10): It's silly. It is a silly beans thing we do. I love it, buddy. I say we're running out of time here, man. **Chip** (01:01:35:13 - 01:01:39:04): You know, we we mentioned the luxury travel. Let's tease that for next time. **Thomas** (01:01:39:05 - 01:01:40:20): Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we got to push that. **Chip** (01:01:40:20 - 01:01:46:10): There is a new form of luxury travel out there that we are uncovering that we're going to be a part of. I'm very excited about it. **Thomas** (01:01:46:10 - 01:01:55:02): We're very excited about it. I'm very excited about the sunburn podcast where we talk about comedy and tropical travel. Until next time, stay burnt. **Chip** (01:01:56:11 - 01:02:01:02): Front desk. Hi, this is Mr. Chantry in room 308. Could you please set up two irons? **Thomas** (01:02:01:08 - 01:02:02:05): Two irons? **Chip** (01:02:02:05 - 01:02:09:14): Yes. And some paint cans, 100ft of clothesline, a blow torch, a bag of feathers, some superglue and 100 micro machines. **Thomas** (01:02:09:14 - 01:02:13:14): Mr. Chantry, you cannot keep trying to home alone. The maid. **Chip** (01:02:13:16 - 01:02:14:20): She knows what she did.